A/N: Here's another chapter. Random bits of Kuwabara-bashing and unnecessary dialogue… Man, I can't believe I EVER thought this fanfic was good… Oh well. At least it captures your interest, so that's fine with me!

Disclaimer: Hamlet doesn't belong to me. Is this considered plagiarism what I'm doing here…? Hope not… Besides, Shakespheare's dead anyway… ;;; Don't sue!

9. The Drama Club Performance and Koenma's Backstage Confession

Saturday night's drama club performance of Shakespeare's "Hamlet" was going very well. Several people showed up for the performance, including all of Kurama's friends. Even Koenma the teenager made a point to come and see it!

The play was nearing its end. Keiko, as Queen Gertrude, shouted out to the crowd, "No, no, the drink, the drink—O my dear Hamlet—The drink, the drink! I am poisoned!" Keiko dramatically fell down and died. Yusuke, in the audience, laughed.

Kurama, as Hamlet, then said, "Oh, villainy! Ho! Let the door be locked. Treachery! Seek it out!"

The boy who tried to ask Kurama to dance a couple days ago (acting as Laertes) then replied, "It is here, Hamlet: Hamlet, thou art slain; no medicine in the world can do thee good; In thee there is not half an hour of life; the treacherous instrument is in thy hand, Unabated and envenomed: the foul practice hath turned itself on me lo, here I lie, never to rise again: thy mother's poisoned; I can no more; the king, the king's to blame."

"What's he saying? I don't get it…" said Kuwabara.

Hiei pretended he knew what was going on and said, "This play is incredibly easy to follow. Even a two-year-old could understand it. You're just a fool."

Shizuru sighed and said, "I just came here to watch people die…"

"The point—envenomed too! Then, venom, to thy work!" Kurama yelled, taking a knife prop and stabbing King Claudius, who was played by Kuwabara's friend, Okubo.

Everybody on stage then cried, "Treason! Treason!"

"What does treason mean?" asked Kuwabara.

"It means to go stuff your face in a toilet," Hiei replied.

"…Really?"

"O, I die, Horatio; the potent poison quite o'er-crows my spirit: I cannot live to hear the news from England, but I do prophesy the election lights. On Fortinbras: he has my dying voice, so tell him, with the occurrents, more and less, which have solicited. The rest is silence." Kurama completed his monologue with a dramatic end to his life. The audience clapped.

"Isn't that a bit sadistic to clap when somebody dies?" asked Yukina.

"No," answered Hiei. "After we slay demons, we always clap."

"Really?"

"Why can't you people hint my sarcasm!" Hiei cried, shaking his fist at the sky

"Oh, you're so funny, Hiei!" Yukina squealed, grabbing Hiei's hand. "I love you—your... jokes!"

Hiei just stared at her, raising his eyebrows. "Hn…"

At last, the production was over. Everyone in the room stood up and clapped wildly. The whole left side of the auditorium was filled with screaming, wild, obsessed Kurama fangirls. One of the girls in the front row took off her shirt and ran backstage, looking for Kurama.

"Let's go backstage," Botan said, pulling Yusuke's arm. "We can say hi to Keiko and Kurama!"

"I brought flowers," said Yukina.

"Oh, good job, Kurama!" cried Botan, running up to Kurama who was trying to wash the fake blood off of his face. "You were wonderful!"

"Thank you," Kurama replied modestly.

"And you too, Keiko," Botan added, nodding at Keiko, who smiled.

"I brought you flowers," said Yukina, handing Kurama the bouquet of roses. Kurama smiled, taking her gift. Is this a sign? he wondered. Does Yukina like me? Is she that girl in the black cloak? Or am I just jumping to conclusions…?

"A-hem! Excuse me!" Koenma cleared his throat so the rest of the group could hear. A circle formed around him, as they figured he had something very important to say. "Thank you," he said when everyone had quieted down. "I have a very important announcement to make."

The group held its breath. Please, not another mission… Yusuke pleaded.

"I have a confession to make," he said. The room became even quieter. What on earth could Koenma be confessing about? "I love somebody."

"That's it?" said Yusuke dryly.

Koenma ignored him. "And that person is…"

The group waited with bated breath. The girls looked from one to the other, wondering which one it could be. The boys crossed their fingers and hoped that it wasn't any one of them.

Koenma walked forward and took one of the girls' hands. He stared at the woman adoringly, a lovesick expression on his face. The girl was shocked; she couldn't say anything. She just stood and waited for Koenma to say something instead.

"Shizuru… I love you."

A moment later, after the initial shock wore off, the group started laughing. "How could anyone love my sister!" Kuwabara roared. Shizuru glared at him out of the corner of her eye and mouthed the words "You're gonna die" to him. Kuwabara immediately stopped laughing and hid behind Botan.

Shizuru turned to look back at Koenma, who was still holding her hand. "Oh, Koenma," she said slowly. "I… I'm sorry…"

"Wh-what?"

"I'm sorry," Shizuru repeated. "But I can't love you."

Koenma let go of her hand. "Y-you can't? But… but why not?"

Shizuru's eyes softened. "Because I already love someone else…"

Koenma sank to the ground. "No… but… you… you can't! You can't reject me!" he shouted. "I'm Koenma, Prince of the Spirit World! You can't reject me!"

"I think I just did," Shizuru said.

Yusuke laughed harder. "Shot down, Koenma! Ha ha!"

"Yusuke! Don't laugh at Koenma like that," said Botan sternly, but Yusuke could tell she was giggling too.

"I have to go…" Shizuru said, walking away.

"That plan was foolproof!" Koenma said, mouth gaping in shock. "Usually, if you say you love someone in front of a whole group of people, they can't say no!"

"You have to realize that Shizuru's not like other girls," Kuwabara said wisely. "She does what she wants, and if that includes dissing you in front of a bunch of people, she'll do it. Trust me, she's done it to me plenty of times…"

Koenma sighed. "I just can't believe it… All this time I spent watching her on my personal television… All this time I spent worshipping the ground she walked on…. And then… she just… rejects me."

Koenma's blue ogre entered the backstage area, carrying a giant box of donuts. "Hi, Koenma sir," he said. "I brought donuts for you and Shizuru to share—what happened?"

"I've been… shot down."

NEXT TIME - DRAGON ASSAULT AND THE MYSTERIOUS NEW GIRL!

Reviewer Responses!

Sami Kurama's Satlker: Your encouragement is… encouraging… :sweatdrop/blush: I do have self-confidence… I just tend to be modest except for the times when I'm being a pig-headed jerk. XP And ya know? You'll see about Botan! Thanks for the added narration! "Next time…" hah… I loved that. ;) Thanks for the review!

Anna Minamino: I'm afraid I can't answer your questions. You're just going to have to continue reading (and reviewing, of course) to find out EVERYTHING that happens. :grins: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you enjoy the story.

evilchik: Of course you'll find out who the stalker is. That's the whole point of this fanfic, isn't it? ;) Ooh, if Botan IS the stalker, yes, that would mean some bad news for Kuwabara, wouldn't it? Hmmm… :grins: Anyway, thanks for the review!

blue kitsune251: Well, we'll just have to see if Kuwabara and Botan work out together here, won't we:) Thanks very much for the review!

Deus X Machina: Well, I'm glad I've captured your interest here. Not to brag or anything, but I do kind of pride myself on suspense. What can I say? I love (writing) cliffies:) Thanks very much for the review!

Dances With Deers: Wow, thank you for all the reviews:) You boosted my review count:is sooper-happy: I'm glad you like my work, even though this personally isn't my best. When I post my newer, better work, I hope you'll like it too (hint hint XD). Thanks for the review!

--crazykitsune17—