A/N: Enjoy the chapter! It's pretty fun:)

14. Double Date and the Popcorn Massacre

Tuesday night was the scheduled night for Hiei and Yukina's movie date. Ironically, it was also the scheduled night for Yusuke and Spritzy's date as well. Even more ironic, they were both going to see the same movie at the exact same time….

Hiei immediately spotted Yusuke in the dark theater. That didn't surprise him, but what did surprise him was that he had his arm around… not Keiko, but… some new girl whom he had never met. She was very pretty with her pink hair done up nicely and her perfect face grinning. Hiei wondered who she was and what happened to Keiko. Oh wel,l he thought. It's none of my business… And I don't care…

"Hey, Hiei!" Yusuke called him over. Hiei walked over, and Yukina followed. Yusuke didn't see her. "What are you doing at the movies?" he asked slyly. "I thought human leisure activities were below you." He winked.

Hiei scowled and was about to reply when Yukina popped out from behind him, grinning like some madly obsessed fangirl. Yusuke raised his eyebrows; he knew Hiei wouldn't willingly take his sister to go see a movie… especially not a cheesy teen romance movie. Yusuke opened his mouth to say something, but Hiei gave him a look that said, "Shut up or I will wring your neck and watch your blood drip like a leaky faucet!"

"If you say anything, I swear I will kill you and your friend too," Hiei told him telepathically. Then, just to include a gross mental image, he added, "I will slit your throats seven times and hang you by your ears on rusty nails while your corpses rot and get eaten by rats."

Yusuke looked away, slightly disturbed by the graphic afterthought. Needless to say, he didn't say anything after that.

"Hi, Yusuke!" Yukina said, breaking the disquieting silence. "Who's your friend?"

"My name is Spritzy Minato," Spritzy replied, jumping up before she could let Yusuke introduce her. "Nice to meet you. And you are?"

"My name is Yukina, and this is my date, Hiei," Yukina said, staring at Hiei lovingly. Remembering Hiei's warning, Yusuke didn't laugh or say anything.

"Oh, you make the cutest couple!" Spritzy said with a giggle. "You can sit next to us!"

Hiei's face burned. Spritzy had just said that he and his sister made a cute couple; uncomfortable alarm signals rang off in his head. He sat down next to Yusuke, Yukina sitting right beside him.

"You're lucky you're so good with threats," Yusuke whispered to him, "otherwise I just might tell people about this…"

Hiei's eyes narrowed. Putting his finger to Yusuke's throat he growled, "I meant what I said about hanging you by your ears on rusty nails, Spirit Detective!"

"Oh, look! The movie's starting!" Yukina grabbed Hiei's arm and pulled him away from Yusuke. The fire demon had no choice but to watch the movie.

All throughout the film, Yukina would whisper at him, saying things like, "Isn't that sweet, Hiei? We should do that!" Yukina was acting so uncharacteristically girlie, Hiei thought he was going to be sick. It didn't help that Yusuke and Spritzy were making out through over half of the movie.

"Oh no!" Yukina cried, just as Hiei was seriously considering ditching the theater. "He's cheating on her! How cruel!"

"That's nice," Hiei said, not listening. It was disturbing, the way Yukina was holding his hand through the entire movie. It was also starting to scare Hiei the way she was always looking at him. "Yukina, could you stop—"

"THAT STUPID, CHEATING IDIOT!" Yukina shouted, standing up suddenly. Hiei quickly withdrew his hand and wiped it on his pants. Yukina whipped around and turned to Hiei, who looked startled. "If you ever cheat on me like that man on the screen, I swear I will hurt you!"

Yusuke couldn't help but laugh. Like brother, like sister… he thought jovially. Both are good at threats…

Hiei wasn't fazed by her pitiful attempt at a threat. He only looked away, lamely agreeing with her. "Okay, whatever…" he said.

Yukina sat back down. She grabbed Hiei's shoulders and turned him around so she could stare back into his eyes. "I love you," she said. "It's like the love in the movie…. We might have our ups and downs, but we will eventually end up loving each other forever…"

Hiei was starting to feel even more uncomfortable. He wished the movie would just hurry up and be over….

Finally, after another hour of hand-holding and Yusuke and Spritzy making out, the movie was over. But before Hiei could make a run for it, Keiko came up from the back of the theater, a very angry look on her face.

Yusuke turned around, saw her, and gulped, terrified. Spritzy looked unperturbed. In fact, she even had a slight smile on her face, as if she had planned this…

"Yusuke…" Keiko seethed, holding two large buckets of popcorn. "Yusuke…"

"Oh! H-h-hi, K-Keiko…" Yusuke stuttered, backing away.

"Oh, don't think you can back your way out of this one!" Keiko snarled menacingly. "You're going to pay for this, Yusuke, and there's no avoiding it!"

Yusuke looked terrified. Hiei smirked. The beating he was about to get was enough to turn Hiei's night around. Except for the fact that Yukina was still clinging to him like lint on a sweater….

Keiko took the two buckets of popcorn in her hands and dumped them on Yusuke's and Spritzy's heads. Spritzy screamed as the salt and butter messed up her perfect hair. Keiko then kicked them both down. They stumbled and fell over the seats of the theater, tumbling down rows and rows of stadium seats, finally hitting the floor with a loud thud.

Keiko then vaulted over the chairs and began punching Yusuke repeatedly in the stomach. The popcorn bucket fell off his head, and his screams of pain amplified. Keiko roughly pulled him up by the front of his shirt and smacked him across the face as hard as she could. She then finished her brutal beating with a hard kick with a high-heeled shoe to his stomach, sending him flying into the movie screen. She left in an angry huff, sticking up her middle finger as Yusuke lay on the ground in pain.

"My goodness," said Yukina. "I never knew love could be so violent…"

NEXT TIME: HIEI'S WORST KISS EVER AND BOTAN'S WORST ENEMY!

Reviewer Responses!

Fruit is NOT a Dessert: Uh, well, I hope this chapter answered your question of Yusuke and Keiko. :sweatdrop: I'm glad you like Spritzy. :D Thanks for the review!

paisley: Kurama and his stalker will show up soon. This is actually two stories combined into one (Kurama's Stalker and… everybody else's love issues), so it's trading off the characters in every couple of chapters. I promise you that the stalker is not an OC, but I can make no promises about your other guesses. I see that the only one you think fit for Kurama is Botan:smirk: Well, you'll just have to see who it is when you KEEP READING:) Thanks for the review!

Red Kitsune Flames: Thank you very much for the review:)

Deus X Machina: The only thing I can really say is that you'll have to keep reading to find out what's up with Spritzy. ;) I think you may be surprised… Thanks for the review!

evilchik: Hah! I'm glad you liked it. I knew you would. ;) Lol about the rest of your review. And I am still keeping silent for you in case I spill spoilers. All answers and random plot twists will come soon enough! In the meantime, I love hearing you try and figure stuff out, so keep reviewing and making me smile! Thanks for the review!

Sami Kurama's Stalker: Well, whiteboard cleaner smells just as bad as the markers themselves… :sweatdrop: I have checked out your fanfic; pretty funny! And to answer your question, yes, I did write this a while ago (April – July 2004), and I do have the files all on my computer. I'm just too lazy to look through all the chapters and remember what happens in this story. :-P Thanks for the review!

heartluv: I'd probably announce my employment when or if I get any jobs. :) I'm glad you liked this chapter! I didn't really feel bad for Kuwabara… at least not in that chapter. :sweatdrop: I think I felt most sorry for him when Yukina dumped him… although I do remember that was fun to write… XD Anyway, thanks for the review!

Princess Random: Well then, I hope you enjoyed this chapter:) The chapters probably are getting shorter… Eh. I wrote this a long time ago, and that was before I figured out that a decent chapter should be AT LEAST 1000 words… -.- Sorry if the shortness bugs you… :more sweatdrop: Thanks for the review!

blue kitsune251: The chicken line actually didn't completely come from me. My friend on my other website actually made up the line about chickens. She said something about that Kuwabara looks like a chicken… I just added the "genetically-engineered" part after watching South Park waaaay too much… :giggle: Anyway, thanks for the notice about your stories; I'll be sure to take a lookie at them when they are posted. Thanks for the review!

Anna Minamino: "Something" pretty much covers Spritzy's character quite well! Well, who knows about Keiko and Yusuke… especially now after the "Popcorn Massacre"! XP Thanks for the review!

A/N: Wow, you guys gave me lots of reviews… YAY:) Keep doing it! See if you can beat my original review count on AnimeSpiral of 194!

--crazykitsune17--