Hello All,

First of all: I don't own a thing and make no money. This is J.K. Rowling's universe, and I am grateful to play on her playground and have some fun.

This story is AU with some romance with an AU character, it is Snape's POV, so it will not be overly kind, especially about the Golden Trio. Please note, the story is rated M for a reason, occasional foul language and repeated description of violence, non-descriptive references on drug-use and later lemons make it best for an audience above the age of 18.

I thank here and everywhere to the precious excessivelyperky for being a wonderful beta and fantastic help and inspiration. Whatever mistakes you may find are despite her best efforts and clearly, belong to me.

Our story begins by the end of GoF and solves out by the end of the fifth year. Prepare for wandless magic, spell-inventions, angst and endless grumpiness, and please try to enjoy!

Severus Snape and the Revival of the Living Dead

Prologue

The bare-footed man crawled on the spotless marble floor, unable to look up the shiny-white crystal-walls around him again. The pain only recently eased from his muscles, and he never really fancied these eye-hurting white lights; he could never feel to belong anywhere near them. Hearing a soft voice call his name, he tensed.

"Severus!"

The not-yet fully middle-aged man stood and forced his hurting eyes to take in his surroundings once again but shook his head when he still could not see a soul.

"I am hallucinating." – he mumbled to himself – "Blast Karkaroff, dirty coward, good for nothing bastard, curse him! Hang Albus and whole busy gang, …" - he muttered on for long, cursing and swearing alternately, he enumerated all the acquaintances he ever had, be it deatheater or a member of the Order of the Phoenix. He did not forget to add most of his childhood friends, enemies, parents and colleagues… - "Damn them all!" – he summed it up, and the soft voice chuckled like it has been patiently waiting for him to run his course.

"You did not refer to me" – the voice chided cheerfully, and the man tensed again. It definitely was a female voice. One, he could discern of all he ever heard. One, he has not heard for about fourteen years. He pushed himself up from the floor to look around once more and halted with a gasp when he saw the beautiful red-haired woman beside him.

"Lily!"

"Oh, boy, from your lips, it sounds almost like a prayer!" – she chuckled again and shook her head – "Your memories changed me for the better."

Severus smiled back and ran his glance over her. Being in her presence calmed him so much even his dark, and foreboding features softened. Then he flashed her a defiant glint of his eye and lay back on the marble floor. She did not hesitate to sit beside him, and they watched each other in silent contentment, smiling on a joke only they understood.

"Won't you ask where we are?" – Lily broke the silence – "You must be curious."

Severus slowly shook his head, never turning his eyes from her.

"If you're with me, I simply just don't care."

The young woman laughed up.

"Well, this will not work then, I suppose."

Severus propped himself up on an elbow, apparently alarmed by the thought of her leaving.

"Why are you here?" – his asked suspiciously –"I always thought you would be with that husband of yours… Not that I complain" – he added shyly.

"Till death do us part" – Lily recited contemplatively- "You need someone to talk to" – she smiled at him – "There are not many you would consider worthy of your thoughts…"

Severus lay back again.

"You are right as always." – He had to say – "Nevertheless, you did not answer me. This whole thing" – he gestured about – "is uncommon at best. Still better though than anything I experienced lately, don't mistake me…" he saw the awaiting patience in her eyes – "I will not ask where we are because then you would ask me to move on. I've never been one to walk into such an easy trap. You certainly know better!"

Lily smiled on and kept her patience despite his accusing tone. It became a clash of wills, and to his surprise, Severus found himself the weaker.

"Are you some dumb joke of the Dark Lord?" – He asked with a sudden flare of annoyance – "Because I hid you, even though I do not care unless you're going to stay…"

His desperation was evident. She took his hand and squeezed it soothingly.

"I am in no way his illusion."

Severus looked at their still touching hands long and thoughtfully before he pulled away.

"But you're fucking not Lily either!" – He spat angrily and sat up. He soon felt only sorrow and was sad beyond words.

The woman looked at him now grimly. I am the one you need to talk to." – She stated – "You are here because I have an offer to make."

Severus took a deep breath and schooled himself into a steady calm demeanour.

"Don't be that suspicious!" – She laughed dryly – "There is much more to the world and magic than the fight of good and evil."

Severus grimaced. "Good and evil, eh? So where would you put me?"

To his surprise, the woman nodded, obviously content with his question.

"So you understand." – She tilted her head on the side – "Where would you place yourself?"

"That was straight-away Dumbledore-ish, do you know that?"

"I tried to have good long talks with him too" – the phenomenon admitted with a sigh – "I don't suppose he understands me completely though…" Now she was the one who grimaced, and Severus had to chuckle.

"The almighty bastard! So who are you to school him?"

"I am one who does not believe in the "greater good." I am one who believes in humankind. I am one who believes in freedom of will." – She told him – "I am one who offers you a chance. I am one you may talk to." – She repeated.

Severus tried to return her intense gaze, but eventually, he failed. She had power; he had to admit that. And she had nothing in common with either Albus or Voldemort.

"What kind of chance are you talking about?" – He finally asked.

"The chance of a real choice. A chance you never really had."

Severus looked thoughtful for a long moment, but his eyes showed disappointment when he looked at her again.

"You tried to make me believe that you are different. That you're above this whole mess. But I can see through you. You ask me to choose between them, but that is a choice I already made." – He held up a hand, stopping her reply – "And I made that choice freely." – He added wryly.

"To choose your father and his actions? His choices belonged to him." – She was quick to reply – "Or to fall in love with the witch next door? My dear, who hasn't? To join the bad boys for strength and fame? Well, at least you learned your lesson, haven't you? To change your ways of love and part with those who always despised you? That was brave, indeed. Did you really choose to give your life, your heart, your very essence for a fight so high above your head?" – She asked on and on in a chatty tone. – "Which one of them ever offered you to have your own way? When did you ever have a single chance to consider your own inclinations without regard for any of the warring parties?"

Severus stared at her wide-eyed with disbelief.

"What you suggest is not possible." – He whispered – "Life is played by rules."

"And do you understand those rules correctly?" – She tilted her head, waiting.

Now Severus was eager to hear more. "What are the real rules?"

She laughed up loud. "You don't have that much time!"

Her sarcastic tone made him think about her possible powers, and he cautiously asked:

"So you offer me a chance to choose…" - he tried to understand – "… to choose to relive my life? To relive it without the pressure that I always had to feel?"

"No. Sorry, but it does not work that way." – She shook her head – " You lived your life up to a point where I can intervene if you want, but you need to work hard for the opportunity. Your life is what it is. What you made it to be. Although it may get better, you still may be the one your inclinations and abilities are meant for, without those invisible strings that bind your hands down. I am not here to change who you are or what you have done until now. I won't make your promises vanish. But I can release the binding. If there is one thing in your character that YOU wish to change, I can arrange that. I can dull the pain, smooth the edges, soften memories, or make you stronger… I can also help to heal your wounds. What is it in your very soul that you would change if you were given a chance?"

Severus tried to look into her eyes, but his thoughts were in such a blur he could not even recognize her features or his surroundings anymore. He had a painful upbringing, painful memories from school, truth-be-told his hatred for most of the people around him pained him nearly as much as their distrust and refusal of him. He had a painful love-life – if that is what it was called… hurt and hurt everywhere.

Being the puppet of Dumbledore or to mindlessly serve the Dark Lord till his last breath seemed much the same. He tried to serve his own intentions, and he changed sides… a rare occurrence in an otherwise bound down life. Whoever she was, she was right. All his relations, be it "bad" or "good," bound him to their efforts. It was clear she wanted him to live on, so live on he would, despite his ready acquiescence to the contrary. He could not imagine himself changing his promises anyway. To protect, preserve and honour the only good memory… He looked at the creature wearing Lily's features, finally seeing her again. He missed her so freaking much! Suddenly it appeared to be just one more bond. He believed he would honour her memory even without the pain it caused.

"Freedom." – He whispered, looking into those green eyes – "Freedom of the pains, all of them!" – His voice got stronger with every word – "Give me my sense of freedom over my body, my mind, my soul, my magic, if you really can!"

She watched him intently before she answered. "The freedom of your body will only come with your end." – She told him – "Your soul and magic are already free. You only fail to notice, like most people. However, the freedom within your own mind is a wise request. And to free your magic? Are you sure?" – She smiled at him – "You have always been a smart-one. But it comes with a price."

Severus looked at her expectantly. No Slytherin ever was surprised when it got to the cost.

"So be it!" – the creature announced – "You will be able to sense the freedom of your soul and your magic, and I grant you the freedom of your mind on the one condition that you will love again!"

He wanted to yell at her, feeling cheated, but she disappeared with the whiteness around them. Severus had a strange sensation of falling endlessly through a darkness, to the despair of very physical pain.

"Maybe you already had enough, my servant." – An icy voice laughed somewhere too close – "At least finally you returned to me. Not everyone was brave enough…"

While his muscles still ached with the recent spasms of the Crutiatus, Severus recalled his bad luck and the reality. Groaning in pain, he crawled to the Dark Lord and kissed his robe's edge. The punishment was the least he expected when he returned to the dark lord on Albus Dumbledore's order. The only peculiar thing was that he still had his wits about him, even with his body in horrible pain. A sudden image of Lily and white marble entered his mind, and he pushed it aside with haste so as not to fall victim to the dark lord's Legilimency. He decided he must have passed out.

"Finding me nosy, Severus?" – the shrill ice-cold voice aggressively broke through to his ears – "What are you trying to hide? Legilimens!"

The next moment found him up in the air facing the questioning red eyes. His first instinct was to hide all his thoughts, but then with practice, Severus produced the memory of the Diggory-kid's body laying at Dumbledore's feet, the father shaking with sobs…

"Fine" – Voldemort hissed and lowered his wand causing Severus's helpless body to collapse on the floor. – "What else?"

The strangest of conversations began between the newly risen dark lord and his seemingly faithful servant. The first asked with words; the other pushed forward memories to prove his loyalty and honesty to no end… to earn his life. Severus pushed and pushed the well-prepared memories about Dumbledore and the boy-who-lived in the front of his mind in a clash that might have been silent for the outsiders but still horrifying.

"Do not try to ever deceive me!" – The dark lord finally said, contented with what he had to offer. – "This is to remember your place… "

The ire, the laughter of other death eaters, or the simple fact he succeeded hardly registered, just like he couldn't really remember hearing the curse. Agonizing pain shot through him and this time his consciousness did not fail him. Regrettably.