4

"He said to come straight to his office," Esme said, sliding her phone into her back pocket.

Bella stayed in the hospitality tent while Esme made the call. The last thing she wanted to do after humiliating herself in front of a hundred plus people was deal with yet another trip to her doctors, even if he was the closest thing she had to a brother. Carlisle Cullen was a great guy, but she was done with all of it.

"And not to argue, but of course, we both know that's a losing battle."

"Are you saying I'm difficult?" Bella asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, I'm saying you're damn stubborn and pigheaded."

"Gee, Essie, don't hold back. Tell me how you really feel," Bella said, dryly. She braced herself as she stood, but her legs were weak and she immediately dropped back into her chair. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

"How do you want to do this, Swan?" Alice asked, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "We can carry you out. Or get a wheelchair."

"I don't think so," Bella scoffed and once again pushed herself out of the chair. Her knees buckled and she almost fell, but Felix was immediately at her side, draping his arm around her waist as he hoisted her upward. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." She could hear the fear in his voice, the uncertainty that always came when people she knew witnessed one of her episodes. "Why don't I help you to your car?"

"Yeah, okay."

Bella knew better than to argue with him. Esme wasn't going to let her get away with it and based on the smirk on Alice's face, neither was she. Just as they reached the opening for the hospitality tent, Jasper and Edward rushed inside, the first looking concerned while the latter looked annoyed. Bella groaned. She didn't want them seeing her weak and needy, though why their opinion of her mattered wasn't something she understood. They were volleyball guys; it was in their nature to be assholes.

"You okay, ma'am?" Jasper asked, his tone more southern than before.

"Yes," Bella said while Alice chimed in with a perky, "No, maybe one of you could help carry her to the car."

"Peanut," Bella hissed, but Jasper didn't hesitate to slide his arms under her knees and behind her back, swopping her off the ground. "Let me down!"

"Don't you dare listen to her!" Alice threatened as Jasper began to lower her back down. "If you know what's good for you, cowboy, you'll listen to me, not her."

Jasper's eyes widened as he looked from Alice to Bella. "Sorry, ma'am, but she scares me more than you do."

"Ugh, whatever," she groused. "And stop calling me ma'am. Makes me feel old."

"Sorry," he chuckled, but looked to Alice. "Lead the way, darlin."

Bella kept her arms tucked around her chest as Jasper carried her out of the tent after Alice. People stopped and gawked at her, clearly wondering why she was being carted around by one of the players. Like she hadn't been embarrassed enough, she thought bitterly.

Edward followed them, Alice, Felix, and Esme to Esme's car, though he didn't say a word. Every few steps Bella would chance a look at him and find him watching her. He'd look away the moment their eyes met, but he still watched her.

"Here let me get the door," Esme said, rushing to the passenger door of her Volkswagen Thing Convertible. It was neon orange with a black convertible top and Esme loved it, while Bella tolerated it. She preferred driving her Jeep.

"Don't drop me, cowboy," Bella threatened as Jasper lowered her into the seat. She adjusted her position so that she was more comfortable, hating the way her body was betraying her. "And thank you."

"You're welcome," he said with a crooked smile that somehow fit him perfectly. "Hope you feel better."

"Thanks," she whimpered, her eyes filling with tears. She wanted nothing more than to 'feel better.' It just wasn't in the cards for her.

Jasper shifted his eyes to Alice before grabbing the front of Edward's shirt and dragging him back toward the pit. Edward looked at her from over his shoulder, a look of concern and annoyance marred in his features. Not that she cared.

"Call me tonight, Swan," Alice ordered. "I'm serious. Don't text me, call. If you don't, I'll be beating your ass in the morning."

"I will, Peanut," Bella promised, pulling the car door closed and leaning against it. She stretched her arm out to her. "I love you. I don't tell you that enough."

"Oh, Swan," Alice murmured, taking hold of her hand. "I love you, too. Don't give up. Not yet."

Bella nodded, unable to verbally promise anything. It was a promise she couldn't make, not anymore. As Esme pulled out of her spot, Bella turned her attention away from Alice and Felix, who was questioning her over everything that had just gone down. Closing her eyes, Bella tried to remember when life didn't suck.

—BD&BH—

Esme managed to get Bella into the two-story medical complex and to the elevator. She venomously refused a wheelchair, which annoyed Esme, but Bella wasn't to that point yet. When the doors to the elevator opened, the receptionist rushed around the counter and helped them straight into the back and into one of the examination rooms. Bella had been there enough that they knew better than to make her wait. Carlisle would never stand for that, they told her.

"He's with another patient, but he should be here in just a few minutes," she said before closing the door behind her.

"These rooms are always so cold," Esme griped, sitting on the rolling stool and moving so that she was sitting at Bella's feet. "You're shaking."

"It's nothing," Bella muttered, balling her hands into fits to keep them from trembling.

Esme snorted, but didn't say anything else.

A few minutes later, the door to the room opened and Carlisle Cullen rushed inside, looking frazzled. Esme was immediately on her feet and in his arms, their lips meeting in a fiery kiss that had Bella gagging, especially when she them using tongue.

"Yo, patient in need over here," Bella groused, snapping her fingers in their direction. She couldn't blame Esme for her attraction to the good Dr. Carlisle Cullen. He was a handsome man with silky blond hair, blue eyes, and a body to die for. They'd been together for the better part of the last decade. Bella knew they'd be together forever, though they wouldn't marry. Bitter divorces and being raised by single parents had proven that marriage wasn't worth anything.

Carlisle smiled widely as he pulled his mouth away from her sister's. "Oh, sorry, Bella, didn't see you there."

"I'm more than happy to leave if you want," she quipped. "Not like I wanted to be here."

"Well, since you are, let's have a little discussion, shall we?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "Like you're really giving me a choice, Carlisle."

"Aw, don't be like that to me, Bella. I'm on your side, remember?"

She nodded.

Carlisle sat on the rolling stool and pushed backward so that he was leaning against the supply cabinet. "Tell me what happened today."

Bella sighed. "Everything was normal until it wasn't. I couldn't speak, I couldn't breathe. It was like . . . I'd forgotten how, I guess. Normally I can feel it coming, but I didn't feel this one. It scared me, Carlisle. A lot. Peanut helped me regulate my breathing, which helped break through the episode, but I feel so drained. Really weak."

Carlisle nodded. "You forgot to take your meds at lunch."

"I don't remember hearing the alarms."

"Esme says you're covering the PV."

I tensed and nodded.

"What'd I tell you about stress?" Carlisle asked, standing up and washing his hands. He pulled a couple of paper towels out of the metal holder and dried his hands. "Look, I know you feel good. Or you did before today, but stress is going to make these flairs worse."

"I know, but I can't not work PV."

Carlisle hummed, but didn't say anything as he pulled out a penlight from his jacket pocket and shone it in her eyes. "Look up."

She did.

"Look to the right. Good. Now the left."

Bella followed his orders.

Carlisle stowed his penlight and brought his hands up to her neck, feeling her lymph nodes, like suddenly a case of tonsillitis was going to explain everything. He sat back down in front of her and pulled her leg up onto his.

"Are they sore?"

"No," she told him. "Weak, but they don't hurt. Kind of numb, I guess."

Carlisle nodded and moved his hands up her calves to her knees and then to her thighs. "Have you been doing your stretches?"

Bella sighed.

"Didn't think so," he scoffed.

"I don't have time for that yoga, meditation, centering my chi crap."

"That's what your father said and look where he is now," Carlisle quipped, but when Esme and Bella gasped, he coiled backward. "Sorry, that was mean."

"No shit," Bella snarled. "I'm doing the best I can. Do you think I asked for this? I'm only twenty-eight, Carlisle. I'm not supposed to be facing the end of my life as I know it!"

"You're right. I'm sorry. That was cruel." Carlisle wrapped his hands around Bella's. "I just don't want you to give up the fight like he did. There are other drugs combinations we can try."

"Drugs," Bella whimpered. "Therapies, meditation, yoga. Are you going to cure me, Carlisle? Are you going to keep me from wasting away?"

"I'm trying," he said, thickly.

"Me too," she wept, squeezing his hands as tightly as she could. "I just want to enjoy whatever time I have left. Is that so wrong?"

"No." Carlisle smiled as sincerely as he could as he stood up. "Double your lunch dose. I'll text Peanut and let her know to remind you to take it. If this happens again, call me immediately, okay?"

She nodded. "I promise."

Though still weak, Bella managed to get herself to the waiting room so Esme and Carlisle could have a few minutes alone. She wasn't stupid. She knew they were talking about her, about her health, about how to get her more time. Bella didn't want to think about it. She'd already spent too many night crying over the future she wasn't going to get.

Esme came out a five minutes later, her eyes red and puffy. They drove back to the house in silence. There wasn't any point in talking about her doctor's appointment or what this episode could possibly mean. They'd lived through it with their father.

"I'm going to order in for dinner, I think," Esme said as she parked next to their house. "Chinese or Italian?"

"Chinese," they said together, laughing.

"I'm going go down to the water for a bit," Bella said as she climbed out of the car. Catching the look on her sister's face, she quickly added, "I'll stay on dry land."

"I wasn't going to say anything."

Bella knew better, but didn't call Esme out on her lie. She was only trying to keep Bella safe. She had the hardest part in all of this. Not only had she lost her father, but now, she was losing her sister, too.

Bella settled in the sand at the edge of the water. The sun was just starting to set and the water had turned a dull orange. This had been her father's favorite part of the day. Twilight, he called it. When worries were carried away with the wind. But they weren't. Not really. They'd been sitting on this beach the first time he had an episode much like hers. And then the seizures robbed him of his mobility and his memory went, and then nothing.

"Hey."

Startled, Bella scrambled to her feet, surprised to find Edward standing fifteen feet behind her. "What are you doing here?"

"I saw you sitting here. Thought I'd say hello."

"No, I mean, what are you doing here? At my house?"

"Your friend Alice asked me to drive your Jeep back for you. Said you'd never forgive her if something happened to it."

"She's not wrong," Bella replied, coolly. "How'd she wrangle you into doing it? Don't you have beer to pour on some poor, unexpecting female?"

Edward smiled. "Nah, did that last night."

"You're a cocky, son-of-a-bitch," Bella mused. "But you already know that, don't you?"

"Yep," he said, swirling the spare key Bella had given to Alice around his index finger.

"I'll take the keys and then you can leave."

"Gotta wait for her and Whitlock. They're supposed to be picking me up. Though, it is taking them awhile."

"Well, you can wait somewhere else," Bella snarled, taking a step toward him, but her knees gave out on her and she crumbled into the sand. Edward was immediately next to her, his hands gripping her waist. She shifted her eyes up to his, noticing the way the green sparkled. "Thanks, I guess."

"You're welcome." Edward helped her back to her feet, but didn't release his hold on her hips. "You okay now? You seem very unsteady today."

"I'm fine."

"Hmm, if you say so," he said, his fingers tightening on her hips. "But I think you're lying."

"Why do you care how I am?" she asked. Her mind was telling her to push him away, reminding her of how he'd broken her camera lens, how he'd spilled his beer down her back, but her body was refusing to move.

"You intrigue me, Swan," he said. "I don't know why, but you do."

"Yeah?" she asked, biting the inside of her lip.

Edward nodded, his finger tightening even more.

"Then you should know," she whispered, leaning closer toward him. "You don't do a damn thing for me."

And pulling herself out of his embrace, Bella stumbled up the beach to the house, leaving him standing alone.

Thank you for all the reviews. I know you have more questions than answers, but they will come all in good time, my friends.