A/N: Since I didn't know how to mess with Japanese currency and how much it's worth when I wrote this (I still don't), the money is just in American dollars. Only two chapters left, w00t! Sorry for the slight Kuwabara-bash... o.o;

31. Kuwabara's Last-Minute Date and Genkai's Return

It was Thursday morning, and Kuwabara was starting to get desperate. He still didn't have a date for Friday's dance. Yukina had dumped him, Botan nearly killed herself, Keiko beat him up, and so did Shizuru. He was just going to have to ask a random girl and see if she'll say yes…

But, to save him the pain of getting beat up anymore, he decided to post flyers. During lunch period, he was in the library with a stack of paper and a bin full of colorful markers. On twenty pieces of paper he hastily scrawled:

"Want a Sexy, Hot Date for Friday's Dance? Meet Me After School in the East Parking Lot!"

Smiling at his handiwork, he began to post the flyers up around the school. Now we'll see how many girls go after me now… he thought happily as he skipped back to lunch, only to find out that there was barely a minute left in the period.

"What's this?" a girl said, pointing at one of Kuwabara's hand-written flyers. "'Want a Sexy, Hot Date for Fridays' Dance?'" She looked at one of her friends. "Who the hell does that?"

A few of her friends giggled. "If he's so sexy, why does he need to resort to anonymous flyers posted around the school to get a date for a dance?" one asked snobbishly.

"Well, what's it matter?" said another one of her friends. "I still don't have a date yet, so what the heck?"

Finally, it was after school, and Kuwabara was sitting on the bench in the East Parking Lot, waiting for his stream of ladies to come begging him for a date. He could picture it now…
"Oh, Kuwabara, you're sooo sexy!" A girl touched his left shoulder, running her smooth hands up and down it. Kuwabara grinned, a satisfied smile on his face. "So, then… will you come to the dance with me?" he asked.

"Of course, I would, you sexy hunk of cheeseburger…"

"Uh… hello?"

A girl's voice brought Kuwabara out of his daydream. There were about five or six girls behind her. Great! They must all want to date me! he thought happily.

"Um, where's the hot, sexy guy?" one of the girls asked.

"Right here!" said Kuwabara, showing off his muscles and putting on a masculine pose.

Almost all of the girls made disgusted and horrified faces. They all ran away, screaming. Only one girl was left. A mean-looking tall second year with long, dark brown hair and scarlet eyes was left, her cold glare boring into Kuwabara's skull.

"You desperate?" she asked him, a hint of malice in her tone.

Kuwabara nodded sadly, dropping his masculine pose.

"I'll go with you," she said.

Kuwabara perked up. A goofy smile played across his face as he said, "Really?" He almost couldn't believe it! In junior high, he had never had a date for dances… This was totally new to him...

"On one condition."

"Anything!"

"How much money you got?" the girl asked.

"Uh…" Kuwabara thought for a moment. "Um… maybe a couple hundred dollars?"

"That'll work," said the girl. "I charge a hundred dollars an hour, but don't expect anything fancy. No kissing, no sex, holding hands and hugging are an extra fifty dollars."

"Deal!" said Kuwabara, shaking the girl's hand.

"Get your hands off me," the girl said disgustedly. "I'm not doing this because I like you, okay? Consider it a favor. Plus, I need the money." She was about to turn away, then she remembered she hadn't told him her name. "Oh, I'm Kira Atoshi," she said. "Pick me at my house at seven." She handed him what looked like a business card, but it was actually her address, phone number, and e-mail.

"Do you always keep these handy?" Kuwabara asked.

Kira blinked. "Is that any of your business what I do with my personal information?"

"…No…"

"Right. Now shut up and don't talk to me again until tomorrow night."

Kuwabara didn't care that Kira had been so rude to him. He was just happy that he finally had a date!

"See ya, Botan!" Yusuke was dropping Botan off at her house after the two of them had went to go see a movie. It was late at night, around 10:30…

"Bye bye, Yusuke!" Botan said, blowing a kiss at him. Yusuke smiled. Botan must've really liked him. She was acting awfully flirtatious around him. Which I don't mind… he added to himself as Botan unlocked her door and closed it tightly behind her.

Just then, something came out from behind the bushes, nearly scaring Yusuke half to death. He jumped back in surprise and found a short old lady in front of him—Genkai. "Genkai?" he gasped. "What are you doing here?"

Genkai didn't say anything.

Yusuke's shock quickly turned to anger. "You've got a lot of nerve coming here, you know!" he hissed. "What will all the trouble you caused as that Spritzy girl!"

"I know that, dimwit," said Genkai. "Now shut up and listen."

Yusuke stopped, listening intently to what his teacher had to say.

"I know you're probably not too great with the ladies," she started.

"Hey!" interjected Yusuke. "What's that supposed to mean! For all you know, I'm quite the stud around here!"

Genkai went on. "Don't do all of that stupid tough-guy stuff that you do. It's lame, and it won't attract girls at all. Girls like getting gifts, and guys who like them for who they are. Just be yourself, actually dance with her, Yusuke, and try not to embarrass yourself."

Anger rose up slightly in the Spirit Detective. "Why are you telling me this?" he asked indignantly. "I wasn't going to make an idiot of myself at the dance! Geez!"

"Well, I was worried. You are awful immature sometimes."

"Me, Immature?" Yusuke folded his arms and stuck his tongue out at Genkai. "Psh. Yeah right…"

Genkai sighed and rolled her eyes. She dug into her pockets and pulled out a large wad of bills. Yusuke uncrossed his arms and stared at the pile of money with awe. Genkai handed him the bills wordlessly. Yusuke took it, and just stared at it.

"Wh-what? Why?" Yusuke asked. "What's all this for?"

"It's a good portion of all my cash," she said. "Take it, and buy Botan something nice with it. And I mean Botan, Yusuke. Don't go buying yourself videogames or anything with it! Also, take it as my apology for what I did at your school."

"But… why?"

"I'm leaving the country," Genkai said. "I don't need that much money where I'm going."

"You… you're leaving?" Yusuke asked, his tone suddenly taking on a hint of disappointment and concern. "Where are you going? Why?"

"Has anyone ever told you that you ask too many questions?" Genkai said irritably. "I'm going to some island in the Caribbean to go enjoy the rest of my life there. Happy now?"

"Genkai…"

"Oh, don't get all sappy again!" Genkai snapped. "It's not like I'm going to die again! Get over it!"

"Genkai…"

"Is that all you can say, slacker?"

"I'm going to miss you," Yusuke said, stuffing the cash into his pocket and giving the old woman a hug. Genkai looked momentarily stupefied, then returned the hug like a normal person would. She broke away quickly, saying, "Okay, that's enough of that. Now, good-bye, Yusuke. And take care of your girlfriend."

She left without another word.

NEXT TIME: THE DANCE AND EVIL CLIFFHANGERS!
A/N: Hmm, I wonder what will happen in the next chapter:ponders this: Heh. My "sexy hunk of cheeseburger" line was one of my better ones from this fic, along with that "Yukina found true love and her brother... unfortunately they were the same person" one. XD Heh. Just my personal faves. o.o Please review!