8

"Does it make me gay if I admit that I find Dean mildly attractive?" Edward asked, causing Bella to laugh.

They'd spent several hours watching Supernatural and were now halfway through season six. Esme had flittered in and out of the room, but had left the two alone half an hour ago so she could run to the pharmacy and get Bella's medication refilled.

Edward sighed. "That's a yes."

"Explains a lot about you, actually."

"How?"

Bella snorted. "Never mind."

"You think I'm gay?"

"Can we get back to this episode, please?" Bella reached for the remote control to turn the volume up, but Edward pulled it away from her. "Dude, come on. Don't be a dick."

"You think I'm gay."

"No, I do not think you are gay," she said, smiling.

"Then what did you mean before?"

"I was just teasing you," she said. "Trust me. Nobody would mistake you for a gay guy."

"Why not?" he asked. "I'm hot, Bella. I've seen the way men look at me. They undress me with their eyes and they always look at my crotch in case I'm sporting wood."

"You think you're hot," she quipped. "But you come off as the typical male volleyball player, Edward. Trust me, nobody thinks you're gay."

"Typical volleyball player?" Sounding genuinely hurt, he placed the remote on the couch between them. "Typical volleyball player."

"I hurt your feelings, didn't I?"

"No," he lied. "Just didn't realize I was that big of a prick, I guess."

"The first time we met, you knocked me to the ground and instead of apologizing, you were rude and told me I should watch where I'm going," she told him. "The second time we met, you spilled beer down the back of my shirt and then called me a bitch."

Edward opened his mouth to respond, but Bella kept speaking.

"The third time we met, you said you hadn't had the pleasure of fucking my ass, but would love the opportunity to take me for a spin."

Edward frowned but didn't say anything.

Bella reached for the remote, but stopped when Edward grabbed her hand, drawing her attention back up to him. "Why are you here?"

"I told you why."

"No, I know what you said. But why'd you come over last night? Why'd you insist on dinner?"

Edward shrugged. "You seem interesting."

"Oh, please," she scoffed and pulled her hand away from his.

"It's the truth!"

"No, it's not," she disagreed. "I'm not 'interesting.' I'm a challenge, a conquest. The angry, bitter local girl with a clear hatred of ballers. You thought you could charm your way into my bed. I'd be your greatest conquest… at least until you found someone else to woo. But now you know that I'm sick, that I'm going to die, and you feel guilty for wanting to fuck me. You feel pity for the poor, pathetic local girl who has never seen someone as hot as you."

"Wow," Edward murmured, leaning forward so that his elbows rested on his knees and his hands were clasped together. "You just have me figured out, don't you?"

"I've seen a hundred of you infiltrate the island. You love and leave any girl stupid enough to believe that you love her."

"Including you?" he asked.

Bella shrugged her shoulders. "I won't deny that I've been charmed by more than one player, but I wasn't naïve enough to believe they'd take me with them when they moved on and they always moved on. Besides, I had a good life."

"Had? Or have?" he asked. "You speak like you're already . . ."

"Dead. Like I am already dead," she said.

Edward nodded.

Bella reached up and pushed her hair behind her ear. Slowly throughout the day, the trembling in her hands had eased and was barely noticeable. "I never understood how my father could give up on life until I found myself facing the same end as him. I knew from the moment I had my first episode that my life was over, that I was going to die. I hated him for giving up, but . . . but now, I don't see any reason to keep living."

Edward's mouth opened, but before he could say anything, the door to the bungalow opened and Alice waltz in with Jasper right behind her. Bella fell back against the couch, inhaling a sharp breath as she turned her attention away from Edward, shifting it to Alice instead.

"How'd it go today, Peanut?"

"Just peachy," Alice replied, almost skipping around the couch and sitting on the bed of the coffee table and held a touch screen tablet out to her. "I uploaded the photos I took so you could glance at them."

"Thank you," Bella murmured and accepted the tablet. Pressing the home screen, the first of the photographs appeared. It was of one of the female players, but her hair was in face and the shot was blurry. As Bella scrolled through each one, she found herself biting the inside of her lip. They weren't bad, just not great. "Not bad."

"Oh, please, Swan, they're shit," Alice cackled and tanked the tablet away and set it on the table behind her. "I put the memory card with the others and loaded your bag with new ones for tomorrow. You will be back tomorrow, won't you?"

Bella nodded. "What'd Felix say this morning?"

"Nothing," she lied.

"Peanut."

"Nothing!" she said again. "He just kind gave me this look, like he knew something was up, but didn't want to ask."

"Oh." Bella shifted her eyes to Jasper, who was standing in the doorway. "Are you going to just stand there, Cowboy? My sister is going to be pissed if you leave that door open much longer."

Jasper gave her a shy smile as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him. "Sorry."

"Don't be," Bella murmured. "I'd offer you a drink, but my sister has banished me to the couch for the day. Something about me needing my rest."

Jasper frowned. "I'm fine, ma'am."

"Ugh, again with that ma'am bullshit," Bella grumbled smiling. "It's Bella, or Swan if you listen to Peanut."

"Why does she call you Peanut?" Edward asked Alice, causing Bella to burst out laughing.

"Don't you dare, Swan," Alice threatened, standing with her hands on her hips. "Or else."

"Or else what?" Bella challenged still laughing. "I ain't got nothing more to hide."

Understanding washed over Alice as she shifted her eyes from Bella to Edward and back. "You told him?"

Bella nodded softly.

"Oh, Swan," Alice whimpered, sitting on the coffee table and reaching for Bella's hands. "Are you okay?"

"No," she admitted, pulling her hands back onto her lap.

Alice sighed and looked over at Edward. "You made her tell you."

It wasn't a question, but an accusation. One Edward didn't deny.

"Oh, you —"

But the door opened again before Alice could unleash her tirade of four letters words onto Edward. Esme paused in the doorway, her eyes flittering from Alice to Jasper to Edward and finally landing on Bella.

"Baby, move your ass before I spank it," Carlisle said, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. It was then that he saw the room full of people. His face turned bright red and he muttered, "Shit."

"Dude, never would have taken you for the spanking type," Bella snickered, pushing herself up from the couch. Edward automatically reached for her, but she stepped away from him. "Figured you were the one getting spanked."

"He is," Esme said, smiling widely. "Loves it, too. Begs for it. Gets him nice and hard, if you know what I mean."

"I do not!" Carlisle insisted, though Bella didn't believe him. He looked like the kinky type. His eyes shifted to Edward and Jasper before he asked, "How are you feeling?"

"Tired," she said, holding her hands out in front of her. "But my hands aren't trembling anymore and my legs don't hurt as much. More of a tingle now than an ache."

"Well, that's something, I guess," he said, gesturing for her to walk to him, which she did. "Still limping a little, but that's not unsurprising with your knee."

Bella hummed as he pulled out his pen light.

"Look up," he ordered and she did. "Right. Good. Left. Down."

Bella followed his ordered without complaining. Whining wouldn't do any good with him. He loved her like a sister and was working his ass off to save her life, even if it was a futile effort.

"Well, you seem okay," he said, quietly. "Don't miss any of your meds, though. Maybe this was just a reaction to missing your lunch dose a few days ago. Just try not to stress too much."

Bella snorted. "Yeah, okay, doc."

Feeling everyone's eyes on her, Bella muttered under her breath about needing the bathroom and left them standing there awkwardly. She leaned against the vanity and turned on the water in the sink. She shifted her eyes up to the mirror, staring at her reflection. On the outside, she appeared normal. Or at least, she thought she did. But inside, she was falling apart. Her foundation was being splintered like cracks in a mirror and sooner, rather than later, she was going to shatter.

"Swan, you okay?" Alice called out before knocking on the bathroom door.

Sighing, Bella turned off the water and reached for the doorknob, but before she could grasp it, the door was pushed open and a frantic Alice nearly leapt into the room. "Jesus fuck, Peanut, what if I'd been taking a shit?"

"Eww, Swan!" Alice gagged. "Why didn't you answer me?"

"You didn't give me a chance," Bella laughed. "You came barging in here like a banshee."

"Whatever," Alice muttered, folding her arms in front of her.

"Um, are you going to move out from in front of the doorway?"

"No," she said. "You told Edward."

"Yeah . . . and this is a big deal because . . .?"

"You don't tell anyone," Alice said, dropping her arms to her sides. "Why'd you tell him?"

Bella inhaled a sharp breath and shook her head. "I honestly don't know. He showed up early this morning, demanding answers. I tried to push him away, tried to . . . I don't know . . . He refused to leave unless I told him, so . . . I did."

"And?" Alice pressed. "What did he say?"

"He asked me to marry him. We're planning a nice little ceremony down on the beach. I'm thinking I can just wear my white bikini," Bella rambled, smiling as Alice's eyes grew and her face turned red.

"He what? You said yes?" she whispered-yelled. "Are you fucking insane, Swan?"

"No," Bella laughed. "But clearly you are if you think I'd really marry some dude I just met. I'm not that desperate."

"Oh, you stupid bitch," Alice giggled. "Seriously, what'd he say when you told him about the Kuf's?"

"He asked what everyone will ask," she said, quietly. "And then he got this sad look in his eyes and . . . Well, let's just say he didn't disappoint in the pity department."

"But he stayed, didn't he?"

Bella nodded. "I just don't know why."

"Does that really matter?" she asked. "He didn't have to stay, Bella. He could have left you alone, could write you off as just some chick he met a couple times, but he's not. He's here and that says a lot."

"Says a lot?" Bella argued. "What does it say? It's not like he wants to date me, Alice."

"How do you know he doesn't?" she challenged. "Maybe he likes you."

"Why would he? It's not like we can have a real future together. I'm going to keep getting worse until the day comes that I can't walk or talk or even take a shit like a normal person. Why would anyone sign up for this life?"

Alice shrugged her shoulders. "Because you're worth it."

Turning, she walked out of the bathroom, leaving Bella alone again. With a shake of her head, Bella followed. She disagreed with Alice, of course. She wasn't worth the time her family devoted to her. She hated that Alice hadn't found the love of her life, that Esme spent more time worrying about Bella's health than being with Carlisle, or that Carlisle knew Bella came first when it came to Esme. She hated being the burden her father had been to her. And she really hated that a part of her — albeit a small part — wanted Alice to be right about Edward's feelings for her.

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