13
Bella was startled the next morning when the door to her bedroom was thrown open and a loud gasp filled the room. Groaning, Bella pried her eyes open and looked over her shoulder, finding Esme standing there with a glass of orange juice in one hand and a plate of eggs, toast, and bacon in the other.
"Get out and shut the door," Bella snarled, pulling the blanket up so that it covered both her and Edward, who appeared to be able to sleep through anything.
"What? I mean how? Shit," Esme mumbled before backing out of the room and rushing down the hallway.
Bella climbed out of bed and grabbed the first article of clothing her hand touched, which happened to be Edward's shirt. She slipped it on, buttoning the few buttons that remained, before following her sister, making sure to close the door behind her. She found Esme standing in the kitchen, the orange juice and plate of food still in her hand.
"Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" Bella grumbled, pulling the juice out of her hand before moving over to the cabinet that held her pills.
"I didn't realize I needed to," Esme argued, shifting toward Bella. "You had sex with him."
"Yes, and?" Bella started dumping each pill into the palm of her hand.
"And don't you think you're moving kind of fast?"
Before Bella could answer, the sound of her bedroom door opened and she and Esme looked toward the hallway. Moments later, Edward wandered by, stopping when he saw them in the kitchen. He had pulled on his pants from the night before, but seeing as Bella was wearing his shirt, his chest was bare.
"Hey," he said, smiling. "Gotta head out. Early morning run with Whitlock, but I'll see you at the pit, right?"
Bella nodded. "How are you getting into town?"
"Cab." Edward pushed away from the doorjamb. "Keep the shirt. It looks better on you than on me, anyway."
"Thanks," she replied.
"Trust me when I say it was my pleasure," was all he said before leaving her and Esme.
A moment later, the sound of the front door to the bungalow opened and shut. Bella smiled as she turned back to her meds.
"Bella," Esme whispered.
"I know, Essie," she murmured before popping the pills into her mouth and chasing them with the glass of orange juice. Placing the glass on the counter, she turned back to her sister. "I just wanted one night. One where I wasn't dying. Don't I deserve just one night like that?"
"Of course you do, but can you have just one night with him? I see the way you look at him." Esme placed the plate of food on the table. "You are dying, Bella. It crushes my soul to say that, but we can't keep denying the facts here. You are dying and Edward is going to be left behind when that happens. You really want to do that to him?"
"No," she whimpered. Esme took a step toward her, but Bella put her hand up. "I know I'm being selfish, Essie, but he makes me feel things I've never felt before."
"Oh, Bella," she whispered. "I just don't want you to get hurt."
"Doesn't matter, does it? In two weeks, he'll be moving on and I'll be left behind to die alone."
Bella walked past Esme, down the hallway, and into her bedroom. She shut the door and leaned against it. Tears filled her eyes and her heart ached. She wasn't lying when she told Esme that she was selfish. One night with Edward was never going to be enough. She'd always want more, crave him. Even until the moment she took her last breath.
—BD&BH—
An hour later, Bella pulled her jeep up to the PV Tournament. She had showered and dressed in a pair of black cotton shorts and a red tank top. Esme had stood on the porch and watched her leave. Bella knew she was right about her getting involved with Edward. It wasn't fair to him to expect him to give her his attention for the next two weeks, to want her the way she wanted him. Yet, she still found herself yearning to be near him. To feel him touching her, inside her. She was in deep shit, that much she was sure of.
Felix was waiting for her at the front gates with Alice, who looked uncomfortable. Bella felt horrible for being mad at her bestie, but at the same time, Alice had crossed a line.
"Good morning," Bella said, smiling.
"You're in a good mood," Felix said, lifting an eyebrow. "Should I be worried?"
"Probably." Bella laughed. "So what's up?"
"Just finalized the plans for the photoshoot of some of our best and brightest players," Felix explained, thrusting a folder at Bella.
She took it and opened it, scanning the list of names. Edward and Jasper were both on there, of course, but so were Newton and Crowley. For the women, Rose and Tanya topped the list along with two others that Bella had never heard of: Lauren Mallory and Jessica Stanley.
"So how are you wanting this to go down? Here on the beach, back at the studio?" Bella asked, looking up from the folder to Felix and Alice, who was sucking on the inside of her lip. It was a habit she had picked up from Bella, something they both did when nervous.
"I think here on the beach, or maybe some of the local hotspots. I'll leave the details up to you and Peanut."
Bella nodded and waited for Felix to leave before she turned her attention back to Alice. "Peanut, I—"
"I am so, so sorry, Swan," Alice fretted, reaching for Bella's hands. "I didn't mean anything about it. Honestly, I was joking, but you know me. I open my mouth and my mother's sense of tact comes tumbling out."
"It's okay," Bella said, tucking the folder against her chest. "I'm sorry for getting angry. I just . . . I don't know."
"You like him."
Bella nodded. "More than I should."
"Not more," Alice disagreed. "So we're okay? Besties again?"
"Always," Bella laughed, pulling Alice into a one-armed hug.
Alice giggled and pulled away. "Good, because I'm freaking out."
"Why?"
"Because last night, Jasper and I had the most incredible night," Alice gushed. "Swan, I think I'm falling for him."
"You think?" Bella asked, hooking her arm in with Alice's as they started walking toward the pit.
Alice nodded. "Usually, I sleep with a guy and move on. Don't want to get tied down, but Jasper's different. Bella, he listens to me talk, like really listens. Last night, the way he touched me, held me . . . I'm falling hard for him."
"That's great, Peanut. He seems like a nice guy, from what little I've been around him."
As they approached the pit, Bella immediately spotted Edward on the other side with Jasper. They were smiling and laughing, without a care in the world. It was in that moment Bella realized how truly selfish she was for allowing him to be a part of her life. He deserved better, more than her.
Edward laughed again, his eyes shifting to Bella. He must have seen right through her as his smile dropped and he stood up.
Bella looked away. "I'll check in with you in a bit, Peanut."
"Hey, you okay?" Alice asked, but Bella ignored the silly question as she turned and walked away.
She was far from being okay.
—BD&BH—
Bella snuck under the bleachers and got her camera set up, needing the few minutes of silence that the area offered. Once she was ready, she emerged from her hideaway, only to find Newton waiting for her. Instead of the usual smirk, he looked furious.
"You ruined my shirt," Newton sneered, grabbing her arm and yanking her toward him. "You owe me for dry cleaning!"
Before Bella could react, Edward was behind Newton. He grabbed him by the hair and yanked him backward, taking Bella down with him. She hit hard, screaming as her bad knee smacked against the ground with a thud.
"Don't fucking touch her again, Newton," Edward spat, throwing him several feet away.
"That little bitch owes me for dry cleaning," Newton snarled.
"Like Hell I do," Bella said, fighting the pain in her knee as she stood. "You put your hands on me after I told you to fuck off, and then play victim when I throw a drink in your face? Be glad I didn't kick you so hard your balls were in your throat."
"He touched you last night?" Edward asked, eerily calm, which scared Bella more than it did Newton, who laughed.
"Just trying to get a piece of that pussy you seem to like, Mason."
"Leave," Edward snarled and took a step toward Newton, who quickly scrambled away. He turned back to Bella, his face softening. "You okay?"
"Yeah," she muttered, stretching her leg out. Her knee ached, but it wasn't anything she hadn't felt before.
"Why didn't you tell me about him grabbing you last night?"
Bella shrugged. "Didn't seem important. Now I realize he's a fucking moron."
"No shit," Edward scoffed, taking a step toward her.
"I'd better get to work," she said, moving around him.
"Bella," he called after her, but she kept walking.
—BD&BH—
Bella spent most of the morning avoiding Edward, Alice, Felix, and Esme. She tried to focus on the matches, taking more than two hundred pictures that she was sure would be useless. It seemed like every time she turned around, Edward was there, watching her. She wanted to throw her arms around him, beg him to never leave her, but she couldn't. She had told herself that one night would be enough, but it wasn't. She would never get tired of Edward and that was a problem.
As the matches were called for lunch, Bella started toward the hospitality tent in search of water, when Jasper ran up to her.
"Come on, darlin'," he drawled, his accent thicker than normal. "I'm in the mood for fish tacos and Alice says you know where to find the best ones on the island."
"She does, huh?" Bella snorted. "Funny because Peanut knows all the taco places that I do. I'm sure she won't steer you in the wrong direction, Cowboy."
"Still, why don't you show me?"
Bella sighed. "Fine, but don't think I don't know what this is about."
"I'm sure you do, darlin'," Jasper laughed, gesturing for her to lead the way.
Annoyed, Bella led Jasper away from the beach, down a block to a line of food trucks that made their money off tourist. She motioned for Jasper to get them a table while she ordered them a dozen fish tacos with all the fixings. Once she'd paid, she carried their order to where Jasper sat and settled into the seat across from him.
"Damn, these look good," Jasper exclaimed before picking one up and shoving half of it into his mouth. "Oh, my God!"
Bella laughed as she picked up one of the bottles of water and unscrewed the lid. "Best fish tacos on the island."
Jasper finished his first and reached for another as Bella pulled out her pills and started popping them into her mouth one by one. He leaned back in his chair and watched as she chased them down with the water. "What's it like? Knowing that you're going to die, I mean."
"It's like never waking from a nightmare," she said, quietly as she picked up one of the tacos. "I have. . . I had all these plans for my life, these dreams, and in a heartbeat, they were ripped away from me."
"So what now?" he asked before taking a bite of his second taco. "Goddamn, we do not have tacos like this in Texas."
Bella smiled. "For now, I focus on doing my job, I guess."
"But what about your dreams? Do you have like a bucket list or something?"
"No," she murmured. "What's the point?"
"How about just living life to the fullest?" he suggested. "That's what I would do."
"Yeah?"
Jasper nodded.
"Well, when you're dying, you can make your list and do all the things you've dreamed about, but I'm just trying to get through one day to the next."
"I didn't mean to offend you, darlin'," he said quickly.
Bella exhaled a deep breath. "I know. I'm sorry. I just . . . I don't know," she whimpered, dropping her half eaten taco onto her plate. "I don't want to let him go, Cowboy."
"Mason?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
Bella nodded.
"Then don't," Jasper suggested.
"That easy, huh?"
"No," he admitted. "But you don't know him the way I do. He's different now. Before he was always about the game, the win, the power. Now, he's . . . I don't know. He's about having fun, about enjoying life. That's because of you, darlin'."
"So what am I supposed to do? Just let go and have my fun with him? What happens when the tournament is over and you move on to the next one? Even if I wasn't dying, Cowboy, it's not like he and I could have our happily ever after."
"Why can't you?" he asked, picking up another taco.
"Because my life is here and his is everywhere else," she said, softly.
Jasper didn't offer a rebuttal. They finished their tacos and headed back to the pit. He left her next to the hospitality tent, muttering something about finding Alice. Sighing, Bella ducked into the tent, seeing Seth sitting in the back with his feet propped up on a chair and a laptop on his legs. She grabbed another bottle of water before walking over to him, falling into the chair next to him.
He smiled as he looked from his laptop to her. "Just so you know, Peanut recognized me immediately."
"Yeah, well, that's because she used to have a crush on you," Bella said with a laugh. "Why do you think we always picked on you?"
"Hmm, interesting," he snickered. He closed his laptop and placed it on the table between them. "I heard about your dad passing. I'm sorry. Always thought he was a nice guy."
"He was," she admitted, opening the water. She lifted it toward her mouth, but her hand started trembling, causing her to spill it all over herself. "Damn it," she muttered, dropping it onto the floor as she clenched her hand into a tight fist. "I gotta go."
Before Seth could stop her, Bella bolted from the tent, running smack into Edward. He grabbing her around the waist, pressing his body against hers. She shifted her eyes to his, finding so much longing and need, and unable to stop herself, she pressed her lips to his. One night wasn't enough. Maybe two weeks would be.
Thank you for all the reviews. Last update for a while because I'm about to start National Novel Writing Month.