17
For the second time in as many days, Bella found herself in Edward's arms while his lips were pressed against hers. More than anything she wanted believe that he meant the three little words he'd just said: that he loved her, that he wanted her even though she was dying. But she wasn't an idiot. Love and lust weren't the same. Edward didn't love her. He just wanted to be her hero.
Bringing her hands up to his chest, she tightened her fingers around the front of his red and black tank top. The urge to pull him closer was intense, yet she somehow found the strength to push him away. Tears filled her eyes, though she managed to keep them from falling. She released the front of his shirt and shook her head, aware that not only had Esme and Carlisle had followed her out of the tent, but that Alice and Jasper were watching with anticipation.
"Bella," Edward said, reaching for her.
"No," she whispered, knowing Edward would hear her. "I'm sorry, but we're done."
Without giving him the chance to stop her, Bella hurried away, leaving her heart with him. In another life, she would have pretended they could have more than a few days of fun and sex, but now — now she didn't have the energy to believe they could have a future together.
Unfallen tears burned her eyes and it took every bit of her very limited strength to keep from screaming, from falling to her knees and cursing God for giving her the perfect man just when her life was over. She deserved better. She hoped, at least. She was a good person. Made it a point to give back, to help those in need. Sure, she could be selfish, but who wasn't? All she wanted was to live, to be healthy and believe that somehow she and Edward could be happy.
Bella was almost to the entrance of the pit when a hand wrapped around the top of her arm, pulling her to a stop. Tears fell down her face as she turned and once again found herself face to face with the man who had changed her life. Edward brought his free hand up to her face and wiped away her tears. Without a word, he swept her off her feet, holding her close to his body.
She wanted to fight him, to beg him to let her go, but the small amount of strength she had dissipated, and she found herself too weak to even speak. So instead, she let him carry her out of the pit, passed the awkward onlookers and gawking fans, through the mob of news-hungry press, through the parking lot to her jeep.
Half an hour later, Bella found herself standing in the middle of a posh hotel room, one of those five star suites that were often shown in movies. Turning at the sound of the door closing, she found herself once again face to face with Edward. His eyes were locked on her, but unlike the way others who knew about her failing health, he didn't look at her with pity and grief, like she was already dead. No, there was another look in his eyes that she didn't understand. Need, lust, love perhaps.
Edward opened his mouth to speak, but before he could utter a sound, Bella reached down and grabbed the hem of her pink tank top, slipping it off and dropping it onto the floor. She gestured toward him, causing his lips to curve upward as he smiled. Following her example, Edward pulling his shirt off and tossed it onto the floor.
Bella reached behind her to pull the strings of her bikini top, but before she could,
Edward pushed away from the door, walked across the room, and stopped her.
"I meant what I said," he whispered, dropping to his knees in front of her. Edward's hands caressed her hips and he tilted his head back so he could look up at her. "I love you."
Bella wanted to return his feeling, wanted to declare her love for him, but she wasn't sure she truly loved him. Could she love a man she'd only just met? Maybe, or maybe she was just projecting her yearning to be loved. So instead, she simply stood before him.
Edward slid his hands up her back and tugged at the strings of her bikini. The gentle pull had been all it took to remove the article of clothing, leaving her in only her bikini bottoms and shorts. Leaning up, Edward pulled her toward him as his lips wrapped around one of her nipples.
A soft moan reverberated from inside Bella, and she raked her fingers through his hair. The feeling of his lips on her had her skin burning. "Why?" Her question quivered as it stumbled from her lips. "Why do you love me?"
Edward nudged her backward so that she sat on the bed, him still on his knees in front of her. Placing his hands on her thighs, he leaned in and kissed her. "Why do I love you," he murmured against her lips. "Beside the fact that you're beautiful, smart, funny, sassy, you don't put up with my bullshit, you call me out on my cockiness, my attitude. I love you, Bella, because you're perfect for me."
Bella tried to push him away, but he wouldn't let her move.
"You're perfect for me, Bella."
"Perfect?" she scoffed, shaking her head. "Even if I wasn't sick, if I wasn't dying, I wouldn't be perfect." Bella's eyes closed as she pushed Edward away and scrambled off the bed. She grabbed her tank top off the floor and pulled it back on before turning and looking at him. "We can't do this anymore, Edward. It's not fair to either of us."
"Why not?" he asked, standing. "Bella, I love you."
"No, you don't," she insisted. "Maybe you care for me, but love, Edward? It's been a few days. Love doesn't happen that fast." Bella sighed. "Put my health aside and ask yourself if you'd be this quick to say you love me."
"I would," he insisted, but Bella knew it was a lie.
"You wouldn't. We'd have our fun, but in the end, you'd leave and I'd still be here on the island. We should just stop this now, stop before it gets any harder."
"You're so willing to just give up," he muttered with a shake of his head. "I'm standing here in front of you, telling you that I love you, that I want to be with you for however long you have, but instead of letting me, you keep pushing me away."
Edward stepped up to her, his hands coming up to cup her face. Tears cascaded down her face, and though she knew she should, Bella couldn't find the strength to push him away again.
"I love you," he whispered. "And no matter how many times you tell me to leave, to stop, I'm not going to. Never."
And before she could say anything else, Edward kissed her with so much passion, for a moment, she forgot that she was dying.
—BDBH—
Bella slipped out of Edward's bed early the next morning, leaving him sprawled out on his stomach. They'd spent most of the night letting their bodies speak, letting themselves get the lost in the moment of just being together. Bella knew it wasn't fair to need him, to want him, but she did. More than she wanted to admit to him, or to herself.
She pulled one of Edward's shirts from the closet and slipped it on before quietly making her way out onto the balcony. The sun had just started to rise, casting a dull orange glow over the ocean. From her position, she could see dozens of surfers taking advantage of the swells that were rolling in. In another life, she would be out there with them, leaving her worries behind as she soared across the water.
"Wow." The sound of Edward's voice sent chills through her and when she looked back, she found him leaning against the sliding door, stark naked. "You in my shirt . . ." Edward laughed and walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her. "It's sexy as fuck."
Bella shook her head as she looked back at the ocean. "Men love women wearing their clothes, but a man wearing a woman's is wrong."
"You want me to wear your panties, baby?" he snickered against the side of her neck, causing her to shiver. "Bet I'd still look hot."
"Probably," she admitted and turned in his arms so that she was facing him. "I need you to take me home."
Edward frowned.
"I don't have my meds," she whispered, tearfully. "I didn't take them last night, because, well, you know."
Understanding, Edward placed a kiss on her lips. "Okay, baby."
Twenty minutes later, Bella and Edward had dressed and were on their way to Bella's house. She sat in the passenger seat of her jeep, her knees pulled up to her chest, and her eyes locked on the man seated next to her. It was selfish to want him, to need him, but she did. Maybe he was right and she loved him, but even if she did, could she admit it to him? Wasn't it more selfish to tether her to him by declaring her love for him?
"No," he said, shifting his eyes to her for a moment before looking back at the road.
"No what?" she asked.
"It's not selfish," he replied and she realized she'd voiced her fears aloud.
Bella sighed and looked away from him.
"It's not selfish," he said, again.
"It is," she murmured, but whether he heard her that time or not, she wasn't sure.
When Edward pulled her jeep up next to Esme's car, she was surprised to see a rental car parked on the other side. Edward came around and helped her out, his eyes drifting to her arms, where deep purple bruises were starting to form from where Mike Newton had grabbed her the day before.
"I've always bruised easily. By the time I'd get through a tournament, my arms, legs, and back would be covered in bruises and scrapes. My dad would joke that people were going to call the cops on him for child abuse, thinking he'd beat me." She shifted her eyes up to him. "Like anyone who knew Charlie Swan would think he'd ever lay a hand on his little girls."
"I wish I'd met him." Edward slid his hand down her arm, lacing their fingers together. "Come on."
Bella nodded and let him led her up the path to the porch. She pulled out her keys to unlock the front door, but it was swung open before she could do anything, and Esme had her arms wrapped around her.
"I've been so fucking worried, Bella!" Esme wailed, her warm tears seeping onto her skin. "I must have called you a dozen fucking times!"
"What?" Bella muttered, keeping one arm wrapped around her sister while digging her cell out of her pocket, groaning when she saw the cracked screen. "My phone's broke. Must have happened when he . . ."
Bella didn't finish that thought, the image of Mike Newton on top of her, his intention to rape her, to take her just because Edward was attracted her to, was something she was never going to forget.
"I'm sorry, Essie," she whispered.
"Me too," Esme murmured through her sniffles, and pulled back, her hands coming to rest on her shoulders. Her eyes shifted from Bella to Edward and back before she said, "Come eat. I just made breakfast."
Bella knew better than to argue with her sister, so she slipped her hand in with Edward's once more and led him into the house after Esme, where they found Carlisle sitting on the couch with a tall, muscular guy with curly brown hair and dark eyes. They stood as the two entered the house, but before Bella would ask who he was, Edward said, "What the hell are you doing here?"
Confused, she looked at him, finding him staring at the strange man standing next to Carlisle. She opened her mouth to question him, but the man spoke first.
"I'm here to see her," he said, and when she looked at him, he was staring at her.
"Me?" she asked. "Who are you?"
"His name is Emmett," Edward said, sliding his hand out of hers and moving it to the small of her back. "He's my brother."
"Huh?" she asked, shifting her eyes between them. "Your brother?"
Edward nodded. "Step-brother."
She turned her attention back to Emmett, who had a small frown on his lips. "You said you were here for me."
"I did," he said, quietly. "And I am."
Carlisle stepped around Emmett so that he was standing between the two of them. "Bella, Emmett — Dr. McCarty — is the Neurologist I was telling you about, the one running the trial using infusion therapy."
Bella's eyes widened as she shifted her attention from Carlisle to Emmett. "Oh, I see."
"I don't know how much Carlisle has told you, Bella," Emmett started, "but I think I can help you."
"Help me?" she scoffed. "How? Give me a few more months? Years? Are you going cure me, Dr. McCarty?"
Emmett's eyes shifted to Edward for a second before he looked back at her and said one word that shook her to her core: "Yes."
Thank you for all the reviews. I apologize for the long wait on an update, but life has been insane with a new job, trying to adjust to a new job, then just not having the writing mojo.