27
Bella woke up the next morning feeling euphoric. Edward had taken her back to the hotel, and spent hours touching her, loving her, reminding her how much he needed her. She couldn't believe they were actually married, that their friends and families had come together and thrown them a wedding. A perfect wedding.
"Good morning, sweetheart," Edward mumbled, rolling from his back onto his stomach and looking at her. "Did you sleep okay?"
"What little I got," she snickered.
"Can't say I'm sorry," he chuckled.
"Don't want you to."
Edward sighed and reached over, placing his hand on her cheek. "We have to get up."
"I don't want to," she groaned.
"Me either, but you have to work, and I have to things to do."
"Like what?"
"Like finding a place to live once the tournament is over," he said, quietly. "PV won't pay for the hotel afterwards, and as much as I like your sister, I don't think we should live with her. Unless, you really want to, I guess."
"Hadn't even thought about where we were going to live," she whispered.
"Not like you don't have other things on your mind," he said. "Like talking to your mom."
Bella tensed. "I know."
"Are you having second thoughts?"
"More than second," she murmured. "I just don't know how I'm going to be able to sit across from her."
"I'll be there to hold your hand."
Bella shook her head. "You can't be there."
Edward leaned up on his arms. "Why not?"
"Because if you're there, I'll hold back what I really want to say to her." Bella sat up and wrapped the sheet around her chest. "Edward, I can't just ask her to save my life without knowing why she left, why she came back. I just can't."
"And you can't ask her those things if I'm there?"
She shook her head. "You've already seen me at my most vulnerable. I don't want you to see me in my most desperate. Please understand."
"I don't," he admitted. "But I'll respect your decision."
"Thank you." Leaning over, she pressed her lips against his. "I don't deserve you."
"You deserve better than me." Climbing out of bed, he reached for her hand, which she gave. "Now, let's get moving."
An hour later, they had showered, dressed, and managed to eat a quick breakfast. Bella took her meds, made sure she had her lunch dose, and repacked her camera bag before slipping her hand in with Edward's and heading toward the elevator.
"I'm going to miss you today," Edward said as they stepped inside.
"I'll miss you more," she countered, leaning her head on his shoulder. "Feels like everything has changed, doesn't it?"
"It has." Turning, he angled his body toward her. "Anything special I should look for when checking out places to live?"
"Can't be too picky, can we?"
"Maybe not, but I've already got a few places picked out."
"How long have you been thinking about this?" she asked.
He shrugged. "Since I knew I wanted to marry you."
She smiled. "When did you decide you wanted to marry me?"
"Officially, the night of the bonfire, when you almost asked me in the water."
"Oh," she whispered. "I didn't think you caught that."
"I did," he snickered as the elevator doors opened. They stepped out and headed toward the front doors. "But I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you the night you had the seizure."
"What?" she asked, pulling him to a stop before they reached the door. "You did?"
Edward nodded.
"Why? Because you knew I was sick?"
"No, no of course not. It was before that." He spoke softly, vulnerably. "You didn't meet me at JJ's. Any other woman had stood me up, I would have said fuck 'em, and moved on or whatever. But I couldn't, not with you."
"I didn't remember," she whimpered, feeling her eyes fill up with tears.
"Didn't remember what?"
"You telling me to meet you at JJ's," she said as a tear slid down her face. She quickly brushed it away. "You showed up at my door with an arm full of food, and I didn't know what you were talking about. I still don't really have that memory."
"Oh," he murmured. "Have you had a lot of moments like that?"
Bella shook her head. "A few over the last year. Eventually, I'll lose more of memories, until I don't know my own name."
"Or," Edward said, tilting her head back, "Emmett will save you, and we will spend the rest of our lives making new memories."
"I really hope so," she whispered.
"Me too, sweetheart."
Edward placed a searing kiss on her lips before sliding his hand back into hers and leading her out of the hotel to her jeep. He placed her camera bag in the backseat before opening the driver's door for her. Once she had climbed in, he closed the door, and leaned in once more.
"Text me if you need me. I'll meet you here after, okay?"
Bella reached over and placed her hand on his cheek. "I love you."
He smiled and pressed his lips against the palm of her head. "I love you more."
Bella knew it was pointless to argue with him, so she simply rolled her eyes, started the jeep, and pulled out, leaving him standing there watching her. When she arrived at the pit, she once again found Alice waiting for her at the entrance with a kiwi and mango smoothie for her. She wanted to be annoyed, but found it impossible considering everything Alice had done for her.
"Figured you would need a large smoothie this morning," Alice snickered, shoving the cup into her hand.
"Thanks, Peanut," Bella laughed. "What's Jasper up to today?"
"I don't know," she said, shrugging her shoulders.
"You don't know?" she asked.
Alice smiled. "He has some big decisions to make, Swan, so I'm giving him time."
"Like what?"
"Like now that his partner is taking a break for a while, he has to decide if he should find a new teammate, or take a break, as well."
Bella frowned. She hadn't even considered what would happen between him and Edward when he made the decision to stay on the island with her. "Can he find a new teammate?"
"Probably," Alice said with another shrug. "But he's not sure he wants to. He and Edward have been playing together for almost ten years. They know what the other is going to do before they do it. Besides, he doesn't want to leave you, either."
"Me?" Bella gasped.
Alice laughed. "Yes, you, Swan. He cares about you."
Bella felt tears fill her eyes and though she tried to keep them from falling, they did anyway.
"Oh, Swan," Alice sighed. "You have no idea how much you affect each and every person you come into contact with, do you?"
"No, I guess I don't." Bella paused. "If he leaves, you'll go with him, won't you?"
"I . . . I don't know, Swan," Alice murmured. "I love him, but I can't leave you, so . . ." She blew out a heavy breath. "We should get to work."
"I, um, I have a favor to ask you," Bella said, grabbing her arm before she could hurry off.
"What kind of favor?"
"I need you to find her."
Alice's eyes widened. "Her? As in . . . her?"
"Yes, as in my . . ." Bella blew out a heavy breath. "As in my mother, Peanut. I need you to find her and set up a place where we can talk."
"Are you going to do what I think you're going to do?"
Bella bit the inside of her lip as she nodded. "I'm not ready to die, Peanut, and if that means I have to swallow my pride and ask her to help me, then I guess that's what I have to do."
"Okay. I'll have something set up by the end of the day." Alice placed her hand on Bella's cheek. "I'm proud of you, Swan."
"Thanks."
Alice took off out of the pit, leaving Bella standing there. Hopefully, she would be able to find Renee Swan, but even more importantly, maybe she would actually care enough to save the life of the child she abandoned. That was something Bella seriously doubted.
—BDBH—
By the end of the day, Bella's head was throbbing and she was triple guessing her decision to meet with her mother without Edward being there. Her heart needed him there, while her brain knew she needed to confront her without him to distract her. Still, she wanted him with her. Always with her.
Bella had just packed the last of her stuff away in her camera bag when her phone chimed with a new text. Pulling it out of the side pocket of her bag, she saw it was from Alice. Opening it, she found an address: 3125 Plains Blvd.
She replied with a quick thanks, and picked up her bag. Turning, she saw Felix and Seth talking at the front gate with Laurent Masters. The three of them looked over at her, smiling before hurrying in the other directions. Rolling her eyes, she headed out to the jeep. When she got there, she found a red rose in the driver's seat and a note that said: I'll always love you more. Hurry back to me — E. Bella couldn't keep the smile off her face as she picked up the rose, bringing it to her nose. She was lucky to have such an amazing husband.
The drive across Honolulu took almost forty-five minutes. Bella pulled the jeep up in front of a small coffee shop she had never heard of before. She climbed out of the jeep, grabbed her camera bag, and headed inside. There were only three people inside: the barista, a man sitting at a table in the back corner, and a woman seated on a sofa on the far side of the shop. She had the same caramel colored hair that Esme had, the same warm brown eyes as Bella's. Taking a deep breath, she walked over to the counter and ordered a coffee before turning and walking to where her mother sat.
"Do you know who I am?" Bella asked.
"I do," she replied, standing up. "You're beautiful."
"Thanks, I guess."
Bella dropped her camera bag on the floor and sat in the arm chair across from Renee Swan, who frowned before sitting back on the sofa. The barista placed her coffee on the table and walked away. Bella leaned forward and picked it up, taking a tentative sip to judge how hot it was.
"I don't know what to say to you," Bella said after a moment.
"I don't imagine so." Renee crossed her legs at the knee. "You want to know why I left."
"I do."
Renee frowned. "When I met your father, I fell for him hard. He was the most handsome man I had ever seen, and the way he looked at me. . ." Renee blew out a heavy breath that had Bella gagging. "He wanted me, wanted a life with me, so I left my hometown and followed him here to Hawaii. I wanted to love it here. I mean, its paradise, right?"
Bella didn't reply.
"And it was for a while. Then he got hurt, we got married, and I got pregnant with Esme. And suddenly, my life felt so . . . stagnant."
"Stagnant?" Bella asked. "You had a husband who loved you and child who needed you, but your life was stagnant."
"I know, okay?" she argued. "I tried, Bella. I swear, I did. But by the time you were born, I felt trapped, and I didn't know who I was anymore. I was just Charlie's wife and yours and Esme's mom."
"And what was wrong with being our mom?" Bella questioned. "Why weren't we enough for you?"
"It's not that you weren't enough." Renee paused. "My mother died just after your third birthday. I was devastated. She was . . . she was my best friend and she was gone. She died and I never got to say goodbye. I left the island for her funeral. I wasn't planning on staying more than a week, maybe two, but my father wasn't healthy, and he needed me there. So a week turned into two, then three, and then a month. I just couldn't come back. So I stayed."
"You left me," Bella said.
"I did," she admitted.
Bella picked up her coffee, taking another sip. "I don't understand how could just leave your daughters like we're nothing to you. Why didn't you call us? Send us a card? Something to show that you fucking cared."
"I thought you would be better I just disappeared." Renee placed her empty cup on the table. "My father passed away when you were eight, and I thought this was my chance. I came back, and by some miracle, Charlie took me back. I tried, Bella. I tried to be a good mom, but I felt so trapped. School parties, the pick-up lane, and . . ." Renee wiped a tear off her face. "But I couldn't. I just couldn't stay here, trapped in a life that made me feel useless."
"So you left again."
"I traveled for a while. Lived in Florida, Texas, and California before ending back in Washington."
"And you left me behind," Bella groused.
"I must have picked up the phone a million times to call."
"But you didn't," she snarled. "You dropped us off at school and never showed up again. Why now? Why are you here now?"
Renee frowned. "I heard about Charlie."
"So you came back to do what exactly?"
"Say my goodbyes, maybe try to reconnect with you and Esme," she rambled.
"Reconnect?" Bella scoffed, placing her coffee on the table. "We weren't good enough for you to connect with when we were babies, but now that we're grown, now that we have our own lives, you come in to save the day."
"I'm not trying to save the day. I made a lot of mistakes, Bella. I know that. I just wanted a chance to talk to you, to tell you that I love you."
"Love," she whimpered, her eyes filling with tears. "You don't abandon those you love. I needed my mother, I needed you!"
"I know," she said, putting her hands up and looking around the coffee shop. "I couldn't be there for you then, but I can now." Renee paused. "I heard you're sick."
Bella tensed. "She already talked to you, huh?"
"Who?" Renee asked. "Esme?"
She nodded.
"No, I haven't spoken to Esme in almost a year," Renee said. "She refuses to talk to me, too. I still talk to people with PV. They said you were their photographer, that you're sick. That's it serious."
"I see," she muttered.
"Is it true?" she asked. "Are you sick?"
Biting the inside of her lip, Bella nodded. "I have Kuf's. You probably haven't heard of it."
"It's serious?" she asked.
"Killed dad," she murmured, wrapping her arms around her torso.
"And there's nothing they can do?"
"There might be," she admitted. "A special trial with a doctor out of New York. He thinks he can cure me."
"That's great," she said with a smile.
Bella frowned.
"That's not great?" Renee asked.
"No, it is, but . . ." Bella swallowed against the lump in her throat. "I need your help."
"Mine?"
Bella nodded. "I need you to donate stem cells. There's a procedure. I don't really understand it, but I need your stem cells."
"Oh, wow," Renee whispered, leaning back against the couch. "Okay."
"Okay?"
"Yeah, when I do I need to donate? Where do I need to go?"
"I. . ." Bella stood up, picked up her bag, and took a couple steps backward. "I . . . I can't do this. I'm sorry."
And before her mother could stop her, Bella fled. She climbed into the jeep, cranked the engine, and drove away as her mother stood in the doorway of the small, unknown coffee shop. She made it sound like it was the easiest decision she had ever made. Like Bella had asked to borrow a cup of sugar. How could the woman who had abandoned her twice agree to save her life without hesitation?