28

By the time Bella got back to the hotel, she had managed to dry her tears, though it hadn't been easy. Every time she thought about how easily Renee said yes a new round filled her eyes. She just couldn't understand how the woman who left her twice could agree so readily. Was it just out of guilt? Did she feel like she owed Bella something? She did, but did Bella really want her help just because she felt guilty?

With a sigh, she parked her jeep, grabbed her camera bag, and headed inside, unsurprised to see Esme sitting on one of the small sofas in the lobby. She should have expected Alice to tell her sister about that she was going to go speak to her mother. She couldn't even find it in herself to be angry. All Alice and Esme wanted was for Bella to live.

"Hey," Esme murmured, standing up and reaching for Bella, but pulling backward. "Don't be mad at Peanut. She was worried."

"I'm not mad," Bella said, placing her bag on the floor and sitting on the couch next to her sister, who slid down and grabbed Bella's hands. "You look like her."

"I know." Esme reached up and brushed Bella's tears off her face. "What'd she say?"

"She said yes," Bella cried. "She said yes like I had asked her for the time, or for a cup of sugar, Essie. She just said yes."

"Is it wrong that I'm glad she said yes?" Esme whimpered.

Bella shook her head. "I am, too. I just . . . I don't know, I was sitting across from her, listening to her trying to explain how she could leave us like that, and I just don't get it. I just don't. We're her daughters, and we weren't important enough for her to stay."

"I know." Esme scooted closer and wrapped her arm around Bella, but before she could say anything else, Renee hurried into the hotel, stopping and looking around before her eyes landed on them. "Oh, shit."

"What are you doing here?" Bella asked, standing up as Renee started toward them, but stopped at the harshness in her tone.

"You didn't tell me where I needed to go to donate? Or . . . or when," she stammered.

Esme shifted her eyes to Bella, who folded her arms in front of her. "You didn't?"

Bella bit the inside of her lip and shook her head. "I needed to get out of there."

"Oh." Esme sighed and looked back at their mother. "Well, when I find out, I'll let you know."

"Can we sit and talk?" Renee asked, almost sounding like she was pleading with them.

"We did that already," Bella grumbled.

"No, I know, and I . . ." Renee took a deep breath. "I don't deserve anything from either of you, I know that." She brought her hand up and wiped the tears off her face. "I'm selfish. I know that. I put my own needs ahead of yours and Charlie's. I was wrong for that. I wish more than anything that I could go back and be the mother you deserved, because I do love you. Both of you. I can't change the past. And I can't . . . No, I won't demand anything from either of you. But I will do anything you need me to do if that saves you, Bella. Anything."

"Why?" Bella whimpered. "Why are you so willing to help?"

"It doesn't matter why, Bells," Esme said, sliding her hand over Bella's.

"It does to me," she insisted, shifting her eyes back to her mother. "I was a little girl, and I needed you. I fucking needed you, and you left — twice!"

"And I regret that every day."

"But why?" Bella cried. "Why didn't you love me enough to stay?"

"I don't know," Renee sobbed, wrapping her arms around herself. "I wanted to be the mother you deserved, but being here felt like I was trapped, and I . . . I don't know, I guess it was easier to run than figure out why I felt trapped here."

"Leaving us behind," Esme whispered. "Why'd you come back?"

"I heard about Charlie, and I guess I needed to say goodbye to him," she admitted. "Being here again, I knew I needed to face my past, deal with the pain and heartache I caused."

"Too bad you waited until he died," Bella quipped, sniffing back her tears.
"He suffered, you know? His death was brutal. He lost control of his body, needed around the clock care."

Renee flinched.

"You should have been here," Bella continued. "You say you loved him, but you should have been here to help him. Instead, we did. We helped him when he couldn't get out of bed without help, when he couldn't . . ." Bella brought her hand up to her mouth, trying to keep from outright sobbing. "I'll let you save my life, Renee, but I will never forgive you for leaving us when we needed you."

Picking up her camera bag, Bella gave Esme a look before she walked over to the elevator, pressed the up arrow, and waited for the doors to open. As she stepped inside, she looked over and saw Renee watching her with a wistful expression, a longing that her knees weak. The little girl in her wanted nothing more than to throw herself in her mother's arm, let her hold her, her sooth away the pain and fear of death, but she couldn't, because when things got hard, her mother ran away. A trait Bella seemed to have shared until she met Edward.

—BDBH—

"Honey, I'm home," Edward called out, laughing as he threw open the door to the hotel room.

From her stance on the balcony, she looked over her shoulder and tried to smile, but knew when he frowned that the pain in her heart was written all over her face.

"She said no?" he asked, sounding angry.

Bella shook her head. "She said yes."

He blew out a heavy breath. "Then why are you so upset?"

"I don't know," she murmured, looking back out over the ocean. "I just don't understand, I guess. I was sitting across from her, and she was trying to explain why she left, and I just don't get it. How can a parent willingly leave their child?"

"I don't know," he said, leaning against the railing. "I've asked myself that question."

"Do you hate him? Your dad, I mean. For giving up on you after the divorce?"

"No," he said, reaching up and brushing her hair behind her ear. "I don't love him, but I don't hate him, either. Do you hate her?"

"A little," she admitted. "But she wants to save my life, Edward."

"Is it wrong that I'm happy about that?" he asked, sliding his hand down her arm, threading this fingers in with hers.

"Of course not," she told him, shifting so that she was facing him. "I am, too. If it works, of course."

"It will," he said with so much confidence, she almost believed him. "Have you eaten?"

Biting the inside of her lip, she shook her head. "I'm not really hungry."

"Well, I'm starving, so humor me and let's order some food."

Smiling, knowing that he was trying to make sure she had food to take her meds, she nodded. "I guess I can let you spoil me."

While Edward walked back into the room to order them some room service, Bella pulled her camera out of her bag and brought it up to her eye, snapping a series of pictures of the sun starting to set, sinking into the ocean. With a sigh, she walked back into the room just as Edward hung up the phone.

"Did you find us a place?" she asked, placing her camera on the dresser.

"I think so," he said, sitting on the side of the bed and pulling his shoes off. "Right on the beach."

"Really?" she wondered, climbing onto the bed and wrapping her arms around him, feeling him moan as her hands flattened against his chest. "How'd you score such prime real estate?"

"Might have an in with the owner," he chuckled, shifting them so they were laying on the bed, facing each other.

"Oh?"

He nodded. "I probably shouldn't be the one telling you this, but, um, Esme offered to let us have the bungalow."

Bella's eyes widened as she leaned up on her elbow. "She did? Where is she going to live?"

"She's moving in with Carlisle," he explained, sliding his hand over her hip.

"Oh, wow, okay," she murmured. "I did not see that coming."

"Me either," he snickered before turning serious. "I asked her if she had any ideas of places on the beach that we could rent. I figured you'd want to be close to the water."

"I do," she murmured.

"She said the bungalow was your home, that you would need comfort and security while going through the trail, and said she and Carlisle had been talking, and well, I don't know, I guess they decided to move in together now that you and I are married."

"I don't hate the idea of living in the bungalow, but that's my home, Edward. Are you okay with that?"

Edward brought his hand up to her face. "My home is wherever you are, sweetheart."

And before she could say anything, his lips were on hers. She moaned, pressing herself against him, needing more. Always needing more. However, before they would take things to the next level, someone knocked on the door. Inwardly cursing him for being hungry, Bella placed her hand on his chest and pushed him away.

"Hold that thought," she purred, climbing over him and hurrying to the door.

However, when she pulled it open, she found herself not facing a server with a cart full of food, but a stunningly beautiful woman with long dark brown hair, dark eyes, and a scowl on her face. With his arm wrapped around her, was a man with curly, snow-blond hair and bright blue eyes, looking equally annoyed.

"Um, can I help you?" Bella asked.

"You can tell my son to stop hiding," the woman snarled, placing her hand on the door and pushing it open with more force than Bella was prepared for.

Looking over her shoulder at Edward, she cocked an eyebrow. The shocked look on his face made it clear he hadn't expected his mother and step-father to be in their doorway any more than Bella had. Based on the looks on their faces, they weren't happy.