I wasn't going to post this yet, (I've had it written forquite some time) but as I talked on the phone with TheCalligrapher1 for a while today, I had the desire to do so. The rest won't be posted for a while...and I'm sorry this is so short. This fic will be dark...as you will see from this prologue. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it...and I hope to start hardcore writing on it for a while.

Prologue

I didn't know what had happened. It all happened too quickly. I saw what occurred, but I had completely lost control of the situation. It was like I saw myself in third person point of view and I couldn't tell myself to stop. It was my voice, my motions, my laughter…but I wasn't moving myself. I wasn't speaking. I definitely wasn't laughing. I don't know how it happened.

As I thought about what happened, a shudder went through my spine and I broke out into goosebumps. I almost dropped my daughter who was sitting on my lap. For the past hour that we were sitting in the Bevelle Temple, she was looking up at me, eyes wide, wondering why her daddy had been crying nonstop for three days. She didn't understand the situation and I didn't really expect her to. She was only four years old. Over the past few days, she asked me numerous times, "Daddy? Are you okay?" What do you tell a child when she asks you that but sugarcoat the truth? "No, but daddy will be fine." Will I be fine?

A lilting piece was being played on the grand organ that was on one side of the room, accompanying a choir. The piece had a frightening resemblance to the Hymn of the Fayth, but I knew it wasn't because this was not the time of Yevon anymore. To play something of Yevon would be considered sacrilege. The temple staff asked me what I wanted to have playing and I told them that this would be fine. It was a piece that she always used to hum, so I figured she would want it played.

Thousands of beautiful flowers decorated the church, many of which were gifts from the people of Spira. The temple looked absolutely beautiful and I would be lying if I said I expected otherwise. White satin, flowers, and candles surrounded the altar and everything just brought tears to my eyes. The preparations only took three days, but the guilt would last a lifetime.

Most of the people who sent the gifts came as well. I'm not sure how the Bevelle Temple was able to fit so many people, but many of them had to stand anyway. The ones who weren't dabbing their eyes to dry the tears were shooting dagger gazes at me. I knew what they were thinking. If I were them, I would be thinking the same thing. They all kept their comments to themselves and I was thankful for that.

I heard Rikku sniffle next to me and I turned to look at her. Her head was resting on Gippal's shoulder as she cried, a black handkerchief in her hand. Her eyes were red from a mixture of crying and exhaustion from the past few days. The poor girl looked terrible and I'm assuming that I looked the same. Between the two of us, I would be surprised if we got 2 hours of sleep over the past few days. I hadn't had a decent night's sleep in over a week. No, make that more like the last five or six months.

Yes, that's right. It all started about six months ago; the constant nightmares, the out of body experiences, the weird occurrences. I'm not sure how they happened, but I wish I could go back to that one night and change it all. However, the more I think about it, would I be able to change anything? Would I be able to seize control of the situation and change it?

Impossible. There's no way to change what had happened. I was there. If I could've changed the outcome, I would've been able to. What's done is done. I'm the one to blame.

I was the one who killed my own wife.