35
Bella felt overwhelmed, a feeling she was getting used to, yet not used to, as well. She slipped out of her bed, once again leaving Edward sprawled out on his stomach, naked, and slipped on a blue bikini. She quietly made her way through the bungalow, and headed outside, smiling when she saw Esme standing on the beach with both of their surf boards. Her sister knew her too well.
Grabbing her wet suit, she hurried down to the water. "Morning, Essie."
"Morning," she said with a smile. "Setting up pretty nice this morning, aren't they?"
Bella nodded and slipped her wet suit on over her bikini, turning so that Esme could zip it up in the back. "Did you know? About last night?"
"Peanut told me yesterday morning," Esme said, placing her hands in Bella's back and zipping up her wet suit. "Are you mad?"
"No," Bella murmured, and looked back at her sister. "Surprised as shit, but not mad. How can I be? Just didn't realize that many people cared about me, I guess."
"You never did see the impact you have on people," Esme laughed. "Like when you blew out your knee."
"What do you mean?" Bella asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Watching you surf, Bella, was like watching you fly across the water. I envied how easy surfing was for you."
"Easy?" Bella scoffed. "I worked my ass off."
"No, I know. I just mean, the way you loved it," she clarified. "I enjoy surfing, but it wasn't my life, you know?"
Bella nodded.
"Anyway, you were a hero to a whole generation of little girls, Bella."
"I guess," she said. "I don't see myself like that, of course. I just loved to surf, like I love taking pictures."
"I know you're scared," Esme murmured, frowning. "About starting the trial today, about it not working."
"I am," Bella admitted. "I thought I had made peace with the end of my life, and then I met Edward. He loves me, Essie. Like, he really loves me."
"He does." Esme placed her hand on Bella's back. "And so do I."
"You're giving us the bungalow."
"Not really mine to give," Esme laughed, grabbing her surf board. "This is your home, Bells, and I think it's time I stop letting fear keep me from being happy, too."
"What do you mean? What were you afraid of?"
Esme inhaled a sharp breath. "Marrying Carlisle."
"What? Why would you be afraid of marrying him?"
"Because Mom left Dad, and his parents were fucking insane," she scoffed. "He's wanted to marry me for a while now, Bella, but I was scared. Dad got sick, and then you did. I just . . . I don't know, I was scared, so I told him no, not yet, later after . . ."
"After I died," Bella whispered, and Esme nodded. "You didn't think I'd want to know you had someone to take care of you before I died?"
"Of course I did," she argued. "Carlisle said the same thing, but I just . . . I don't know, Bells, I was just scared."
"And now?"
"And now, I'm still terrified," she laughed. "But, well, I guess you've inspired me, too."
"Does that mean you are going to make an honest man out of the gorgeous Dr. Cullen?"
"I guess it does." Esme smiled. "But not today. Let's get out there before we lose the best waves."
Laughing, Bella grabbed her board and followed Esme out into the water, feeling carefree.
—BDBH—
Bella and Esme stayed on the water for almost two hours before they dragged themselves back to the shore. They rinsed their boards and bodies, leaving their wetsuits to dry on the porch before heading inside, where they found Carlisle and Edward sitting in awkward silence in the living room. While Carlisle was only wearing a pair of loose pajama pants, Edward was wearing a tank top and board shorts. Esme and Bella looked at each other and smirked.
"Give me a few minutes to clean up, and I'll make us all some breakfast," Esme snickered, nudging Bella with her shoulder.
"Yeah, yeah, I'd tell you I'm not hungry, but you'd just yell at me," Bella laughed, and gave Edward a look before heading down the hallway to her bedroom. She had just reached behind her back to untie her top when the door opened and she looked back to find Edward standing there, a smile playing on his lips. "Come to give me a hand?"
"Came to ogle my sexy-ass wife," he cackled, pushing away from the door and walking across the room, his hands sliding up her back. "How were the waves?"
"Amazing," she murmured, shivering from his touch. "Sorry I didn't wake you. I just needed one more morning of normal before everything gets crazy, you know?"
"Don't apologize," Edward whispered, pressing his lips against the side of her neck. "Let's take a shower."
"Together?"
He smiled against the side of her neck. "Always together, sweetheart."
An hour later, Bella and Edward emerged from the bedroom, cleaner, yet not cleaner at the same time. Their shower had been one of the most intimate experiences of her life, yet she couldn't relax. They were due at Carlisle's office in an hour to start the first of many infusions that would pave the way for phase two of the trial. She wanted to be positive, to believe that it would work and she would get to spend the next fifty years with the love of her life, but she couldn't. She had seen firsthand what Kufs would do to her if Emmett's cure failed. Death wouldn't come easy.
"Hope you're hungry!" Esme cheered as Bella and Edward walked into the kitchen. The table was covered in eggs, bacon, sausage, toast, pancakes, waffles, and fresh fruit.
"Jesus Christ, Essie, are you feeding an army?" Bella snickered, picking a strawberry out of the bowl of mixed fruit and popping it into her mouth.
"I know, I know, I got carried away," Esme grumbled. "But once I started, I couldn't stop, so stop being a bitch and sit and eat."
"Ma'am, yes ma'am." Bella pulled her meds out of the cabinet and turned to Carlisle, who was leaning back in his chair. He, too, had showered and dressed, wearing a pair of khaki dress paints and a white button up. "I still take these, right?"
"For now," he said, clearing his throat. "Emmett and I both agree that until we see how you react to the infusion therapy, it would be smarter to keep you on your current meds, and maybe wean you off slowly."
"Yay me," she muttered before she turned and started adding pill after pill after pill until the half dozen lay in her hand.
She kept her back toward them as she popped them in her mouth and swallowed them with a glass of orange juice. Taking a deep breath, she turned and found them staring at her, Edward with love and compassion while Esme and Carlisle looked sad.
"Someone going to make me a plate?" she asked, trying not to sound as fragile as she felt.
"I will," Edward and Esme said together, both turning to glare at one another.
Bella snorted and slid into the chair next to Edward. "You two are stupid."
"Are not," they both muttered, but Edward picked up her plate and started filling it with a little of everything.
"Whoa, dude, not so much," Bella laughed, pulling on his arm. "My sister may think I need to eat my body's weight, but I won't be able to eat that much. I'll just take some fruit, a little bit of the eggs, and a couple pieces of toast."
"Like that's enough," Esme scoffed, but winked when Bella looked at her. "So, Mom was there yesterday."
"She was," Bella admitted, accepting the plate from Edward, who leaned over and kissed her cheek.
"Have you thought about, I don't know, sitting down with her again?"
Bella felt her shoulders tense as she stabbed a piece of cantaloupe with her fork and popped it into her mouth. She chewed slowly, too show to be normal. After swallowing the fruit, she speared another piece and said, "No."
The lie came out effortlessly. She had considered sitting down with her mother a million times over the years, long before her life was in danger. Long before her mother sat across from her in a coffee shop, followed her to Edward's hotel, before Renee vowed to do whatever, whenever to save Bella's life. Most of the conversations she imagined were filled with her screaming at Renee, accusing her of never loving her, which in her mind was still true. Her mother hadn't loved her. If she had, she never would have left.
"Liar," Esme quipped, picking up her smoothie and taking a drink.
"Look, I'm letting her donate stem cells, aren't I?" Bella asked with a sigh. "I don't need to have a relationship with her, do I?"
"Of course not," Edward said, placing his hand on the back of Bella's chair. "Right now, let's just focus on the trial, okay?"
Bella nodded, feeling Esme's penetrating stare, but Edward was right. She had enough on her plate than to worry about a woman who walked out on her twice.
—BDBH—
Edward held Bella's hand as they climbed out of the car and headed into the tall building in front of them. Carlisle and Esme were waiting for them at the front doors. Bella's legs felt heavy, yet weak at the same time. Her heart was racing, and her eyes filled with tears she managed to keep from falling. The only reason she didn't turn and run was because Edward needed her to stay, to try, to live.
"I love you," Edward whispered.
Bella grinned, unable to stop a tear from falling down her face. "I love you more."
"Not possible."
"Totally possible."
"You okay, Swan?" Carlisle asked, frowning as they walked up to him and Esme.
"Not even close," she admitted. "Logically, I know this is my only chance to live, but I'm scared, Carlisle. So fucking scared."
"We are, too," he said, sliding his arm around Esme. "I wish I could tell you what to expect, but I can't."
"I know," she murmured, leaning against Edward.
The four of them entered the building and headed toward the elevator, making the ride to the second floor in tense silence. The doors slid open and Bella was surprised, yet not-surprised, to find Alice and Jasper sitting in the waiting room with Emmett and Rose.
"Hey, we were getting worried," Emmett said, standing up. His eyes shifted from Edward to Bella.
"Sorry," Bella muttered. "Carlisle's slow."
"Am not," he groused.
"Whatever, doc," Bella teased, trying to sound stronger than she felt. "So, are we doing this, or what?"
"Right this way," Emmett said, gesturing for her to follow him toward the back.
Bella gave everyone a look before tightening her hold on Edward's hand and followed Emmett and Carlisle through the heavy door, past the receptionist, who looked from her to the people in the waiting room, clearly not appreciative of the crowd there to support Bella. However, she didn't care. They loved her and she needed all the support she could get right now.
Emmett and Carlisle lead them down the hallway to a large room with a couple of electric patient chairs that reminded her of the recliners found in hospital rooms. They looked comfortable, but Bella knew they weren't.
"Have a seat," Emmett said, gesturing toward the chairs.
Bella released Edward's hand and slipped onto one of the chairs, putting her feet up. Emmett grabbed the rolling stool and pulled it up next to her, placing his hands on his knees. He looked almost as scared as she felt.
She reached out and covered one of his hands with his, causing him to look up at her. "If I wasn't in love with your brother, would you still be doing this?"
"Of course," he said, frowning. "Why wouldn't I?"
"Why would you?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Why do you study neurological diseases, Emmett?"
"Um, because there's so much about the brain that we don't know," he admitted. "All it takes is one little defect and everything from the way you feel, think, behave changes. I've seen people waste away, Bella; watched them slowly forget who they even are. I've seen what it does to their families, their loved ones, and I don't know. Logically, I know better than to get too attached to my patients." Emmett smiled weakly. "Dangerous habit, you know?"
"Yeah."
"But I can't help it, I guess."
"And you really think you can save my life?" she asked once again.
"If I didn't, Bella," Emmett said, turning his hand over and giving hers a gentle squeeze, "I wouldn't be here."
"Then let's get started."
Emmett nodded and pushed the rolling stool away as he stood up. "I'll get you hooked up to the IV and then we will start the first infusion."
Bella nodded and watched as Emmett placed the IV needle into her left arm, hooked up the tubing, hung the bag of his special meds. Edward sat next to her, his hand holding on to hers the whole time.
"It will take a few hours to run through," Emmett explained, checking the bag once again to make sure it was dispensing properly. "If you start to feel overheated, or too cold, let us know. Um, also if you start itching, or have trouble breathing, let us know."
"How soon after should I notice any side effects?" Bella asked.
"A few hours," he told her.
"And, um, has she come in yet? To . . . to donate?"
Emmett placed his hands in his hips. "She's scheduled for this afternoon."
Bella nodded and looked at Edward, who was watching her closely. "Okay, let's . . . let's hope it's worth it."
The room was tense as Carlisle and Emmett left her and Edward alone with only the hope that the medication pushing through her veins would save her life.