Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, but the idea is mine. I gain no money, but hopefully reviews.
Remus POV
It was at the beginning of the fourth year when it happened. He came back thinner, a pale ghost. His hair longer and no longer styled. He was gaunt, but we didn't see it. Didn't hear his silence, his quiet misery. We were too busy basking in each other's presence again. Too happy to be back at Hogwarts.
It wasn't until the end of the second week that we realised everything had changed and we hadn't even noticed. Hadn't understood that is wasn't Sirius who came back to us, but a shade.
Grabbing his potions books, Snape stuffed them back into his bag. Glancing at his cauldron he saw that it was nearly completed. Pleased, he turned to collect his beaker and watched in horror as a hand appeared and smacked into the bubbling cauldron, spilling its contents all over the table. Whirling around he was unsurprised to see Sirius Black before him.
"You bastard." He hissed. "You've done it now. The Professor is sure to call you in to see your head of house." Anger chased itself across his face. "You can't leave it alone can you? Think you're oh so much better than anyone else, so superior…" He ranted, petering off as he took his first good look at Sirius.
Instead of the gleeful face he was expecting, his hated rival seemed not to have even noticed what he had done.
Shocked Snape took an involuntary step towards him. "Black, what the hell is wrong with you?" He asked in irritated confusion.
Clouded violet eyes slowly turned to focus on him, and Snape gasped as the figure before him. Pale skin, tightly drawn over flushed cheeks. Hair in disarray, hanging limply down the boys back. An unsteady hand grasped the table in a white knuckle grip as if fighting to remain standing.
"Come on Siri." Shouted a voice from the back of the classroom. "Leave Snivellus to clean up." Laughing at his joke, James grabbed Remus' arm and dragged him towards their raven-haired friend.
Sirius however seemed to ignore him, as if he was in a world of his own. Sirius could feel icy tendrils trying to pull him down. His back ached, and his arms, heck even his bones seemed to protest. He felt so dirty, but no matter how many times he tried to forget, or how many showers he took, he couldn't get clean or warm.
I just want to go away, he thought, away from here. I don't want to think or remember or relive. With a low moan, Sirius finally surrendered to this wish, and gave up fighting the inky darkness that was trying to wrap him up in its comforting arms.
He felt his body slowly descend to the cold stone floor, and felt unconsciousness rush up to greet him.
"Padfoot!" Cried Remus, as he leapt forward to catch his friend, lowering the unconscious boy to the floor.
"Get Madam Pomfrey." He shouted. "Quickly."
Taking only a moment to watch as James fled the room, he turned his attention back to the figure in his arms. Gently, he brushed Sirius' bangs out of his closed eyes and pulled him in closer. What was wrong with him? Feeling the gaunt frame cradled in his arms, Remus wondered not for the first time what had been eating at his friend. Come on Siri, he though, wake up, open your eyes, even it is to mock me.
He had only just begun to notice that Padfoot wasn't acting like himself. Two weeks, he thought in despair, I didn't notice my friend was fading away, what kind of friend was he?
Time past, and to Remus it seemed like an age. Where was Madam Pomfrey? Why wasn't she here yet? Looking down at Sirius, he watched as his eyelashes started to flicker and his breathing began to hitch.
Moaning, Sirius eyes fluttered open. Remus' worried face looked down at him.
"Oh thank you." Breathed Remus as he saw his friend awake, crushing his friend in a hug. "God, you scared me Padfoot," he chastised, "how are you feeling?"
Struggling in Moony's grasp, Sirius tried to curl in on himself. "I'm sorry, it's my fault, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He chanted quietly, trying to suppress his sobs.
"Sirius?" Whispered Remus. "What's wrong?"
"I'm bad, I'm sorry, so sorry. It's my fault, my fault." He whimpered. "So dirty, I feel so dirty. Can't get clean. Can't get him off me."
TBA - really short chapter, but I had to get it done and out there so I could write the next.