36

Bella wasn't a stranger to pain. More than a few times she had bruised and battered her body during training. It hadn't taken much for her bruise, often looking like someone had taken her out back and beaten the snot out of her while preparing for her next competition. But nothing, nothing, prepared her for how her body hurt after her first infusion.

She put a brave face on as they walked out of the back, still finding Jasper, Alice, Rose, and Esme waiting for her. There were smiles and laughter, even the occasional joke, yet Bella was already struggling. Edward kept his arm wrapped around her, holding her close as they made their way down to his new shiny Volvo.

By the time they arrived at the bungalow, Bella could barely move. Her arms and legs felt stiff and swollen. Her muscles cramped, her stomach rebelled against the small amount of food she had managed to eat for breakfast, and her head felt like someone was trying to pry it open with their bare hands.

"Sweetheart," Edward whispered, walking back into the bedroom. Bella had the blanket pulled over her head, her body shivering. She spent much of the day and night alternating between freezing to death and throwing the blankets off, covered in sweat. "Sweetheart, I brought you some tea."

"Ugh," Bella groaned, throwing her hand out from under the blanket, to stop him from coming closer. Just the smell of it had her stomach rolling.

"Sorry."

She heard the door open and him telling someone, probably Esme, that she didn't want it before the door closed again. A second later, she felt the bed dip as Edward climbed on behind her, his arm wrapping around her and pulling her against him.

"What do you need?"

"I don't know," she whimpered. "I don't know, Edward."

"Shh," he soothed. "It's okay."

"Not okay," she cried, throwing the blanket off and pulling her shirt up, trying to cool down. "It's so hot."

Edward reached across her and picked up a wet wash rag, gently rubbing it on her stomach.

Bella's head flopped to the side as she looked at him. "Why do you love me?"

"How can I not?" he whispered.

"Why do you love me, Edward?" she asked again, her eyes filling with tears once again.

"Because you're beautiful," he whispered, using the rag to sponge off her forehead, then moving to her cheeks. "And sexy, and sassy, and smart."

"I'm tired," she mumbled, her eyes closing on their own. "Don't let go."

"Never, sweetheart, never."

—BDBH—

Bella wasn't sure what time it was when she awoke again. Her room was dark and Edward was laying in the bed next to her, his arm covering his eyes and the blanket slung off him. Bella stifled her groan as she climbed out of bed and tiptoed out of their bedroom and into the living room. Her body still ached, every step had her legs burning and her chest aching. The clock next to the door read just after three in the morning. She'd slept for the last twelve hours, an odd feeling.

Grabbing the blanket off the back of the couch, she wrapped it around her shoulders and walked out the front door, down the steps, to the edge of the water. Tears seeped down her face, though she couldn't seem to wipe them away. Falling into the sand, she watched as the waves crashed upon the shore, wishing she felt strong enough to go out. She longed for the peaceful feeling she had felt just the day before.

"Bella!" Edward yelled, and when she looked over her shoulder, she saw him run out of the house, his hands falling onto his hips as he searched the area for her. His eyes landed on hers, and he sighed before hurrying down to her. "What are you doing out here?"

"Just needed some fresh air," she murmured, leaning her head on her bent knees. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's all right," he lied, sitting next to her. "Are you okay?"

Bella shook her head.

"Guess that was a stupid question," he said, quietly.

"It wasn't," she whispered, shifting so that she was leaning against him. "Tell me about volleyball."

"What about it?"

"Tell me why you started playing?"

"Um," he said, tightening his arm around her. "I guess it started as a hobby. My mom and Peter were members of a private club. They offered youth classes and it was volleyball or golf. Peter wanted me to study golf, so naturally I rebelled and signed up for volleyball lessons. From the moment I touched the ball, I loved it, Bella."

"I know the feeling," she mumbled, her eyes starting to close again.

"Come on, Sweetheart, let's get you back in bed."

"Not tired," she slurred, though Edward ignored her as he stood and lifted her into his arms. She was asleep again before they left the beach.

—BDBH—

"No . . . no, she's asleep . . . I know . . . I know, but she's asleep," Edward rambled.

Bella groaned, rolling from her side onto her back. Her head flopped to the side as her eyes opened. Edward was sitting on the side of the bed, his cell phone pressed against his ear.

He looked back at her and sighed and then said, "Hang on." He held the phone out to her. "It's your sister."

Bella licked her lips as she took the phone, her eyes closing once more as she brought it to her ear. "Essie."

"Hey," Esme whispered. "Are you okay? I've been worried."

"I'm . . . I'm fine," she mumbled. "So tired, Essie. So tired."

"I'm sorry," she whimpered. "Can I bring you anything? Maybe a smoothie."

Bella laughed softly. "You're obsessed with smoothies."

Esme giggled. "I know. I know. It's not healthy."

"Thanks, but I'm not hungry."

"Okay, I'll call and check in later, Bells." Esme paused. "Love you, sis."

"Love you, too," she murmured before shoving the phone back toward Edward, who took it, stood up, and walked out of the room, saying, "I told you she was asleep."

The rest of their conversation was lost on her as she rolled back onto her side, her eyes still closed. A few minutes later, she felt the bed dip again and felt Edward's arm wrap around her body, tucking her against him. She sighed as she lifted her hand up, bringing it up, and placing it on his cheek.

"She always did worry too much," Bella whispered.

"Not too much," he murmured. "Get some more sleep, sweetheart. I've got you."

"Don't let go," she begged him as sleep pulled her back under.

—BDBH—

When Bella woke again, she found herself alone. She shifted so that she was sitting on the side of the bed, her entire body felt like she was on her fire. She had never felt this sore before, a feeling she wasn't relishing enduring over the next four weeks. Bella pushed herself off the bed, pulling on a pair of shorts and one of Edward's T-shirts before stumbling across the room, opening the door to her bedroom. When she walked into the living room, she was unsurprised to find Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Rose, Alice, and Jasper sprawled out on the sofas. Peter and Charlotte, however, did surprise her. They sat quietly in the far side of the room, clearly uncomfortable in the awkward silence that surrounded them, but Bella appreciated that they wanted to be there for their sons. Edward and Emmett would need their support, especially if the trial failed, a thought Bella didn't want to entertain.

"Oh, hey," she whispered, bracing herself against the wall and trying to smile as they turned toward her. Though the T.V. was on, nobody was paying attention to the surfing competition was that playing.

"Hey, Swan, how ya feeling?" Alice asked, scrambling to her feet and hurrying over to her.

"Oh, you know," she said, waving her hand in the air. Her mouth felt dry, her lips chapped, and the longer she stood, the more her body ached. "Help me to the couch, Peanut."

"Yeah, okay, I've got you."

Alice shifted Bella so that she was carrying the majority of her weight and helped her over to the couch, helping her sit next to Jasper, who had her in his arms in an instant. Bella could feel everyone watching her, staring at her, gawking at her, and though it bothered her, she couldn't find the strength to call them out on it.

"Where's Edward?" Bella asked, wrapping her arms around herself as she shivered.

"He had to go check out of the hotel," Esme murmured. She grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders. "He should be back soon."

"Okay," she whispered. "Can someone get me some water?"

"On it," Charlotte called out and was out of the room before anyone could take a breath. She came back a few minutes later with a bottle of water, shoving it into her hands.

"Thanks," Bella muttered, gripping the top but struggling to get it opened. Her fingers hurt to bent, just the pressure against her skin had her cringing.

"I've got it, darling." Jasper slipped the bottle from her hands and opened it before handing it back to her.

Bella kept her eyes away from everyone's as she practically drained the bottle in one gulp, which only caused her to shiver again. She reached over Jasper to place the bottle on the end table, but he took it from her and placed it on top. She gave him a weak smile before turning to Emmett and Carlisle.

"You lied," she said.

"About what?" they asked at the same time, causing everyone to laugh — everyone but Bella, of course.

"You said I'd be sore. You didn't say I'd feel like I got hit by a truck, slammed into some rocks, and dragged down the beach."

Emmett grimaced, causing Rose to reach over and place her hand on his shoulder. "Sorry. I didn't know you'd be this sore."

"It's fine," she lied, swallowing against the lump in her throat. "It's more of how exhausted I feel. Like I can't get enough sleep."

"Everyone reacts differently," Emmett said, standing up and moving over so that he was kneeling in front of her. He pulled out a small penlight. "Look to the left."

She did.

"Right. Up. Down." Emmett tucked the penlight against the palm of his hand before he reached up and started feeling her lymph nodes. "Open your mouth."

She did as he instructed, and he shone his light into her mouth.

"You're dehydrated," Emmett said, and Charlotte was on her feet once again, hurrying into the kitchen, coming back with another bottle of water. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," she whispered, loosening the lid before handing it to Bella. "Need anything else, dear?"

"Can you make the pain go away?"

"Well, no," Charlotte stammered.

"Then I guess I need anything from you, do I?"

And pushing herself off the couch, she stumbled back down the hallway to her bedroom, sitting on the side of the bed with a groan. Alice followed her, as she knew she would, and sat next to her, placing her hand on Bella's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Peanut. I know I was being rude."

"Hey, it's okay," she said, quietly.

"I'm not strong enough for this," she cried, pulling her knees up to her chest. "It's too hard."

"Don't think like that," Alice murmured, pulling her into her arms. "You may not feel strong enough, but you are, and we're here to help."

"Peanut," Bella sobbed, nestling herself in her best friends arms. "Don't let me go."

"Never," Alice whispered. "Never, Swan."

—BDBH—

When Bella awoke again, the sun was shining brightly. She climbed out of bed and stumbled into the restroom. After taking care of business, she washed her hands and brushed her teeth. Her mouth tasted like ass and her body hurt more than it had before, which she didn't think was possible. She ran her brush through her hair before holding onto the wall and walking down the hallway, fully expecting the living room to be full of people again. Thankfully, Edward was the only one there. She smiled as she walked over and laid on top of him, causing him to laugh and wrap his arms around her.

"Good morning to you, too," he whispered, kissing the top of her head.

"Morning?" she asked, leaning up and looking at the clock. "It's six in the morning? Today's Wednesday?"

Edward nodded. "You've slept a lot."

"Clearly," she mumbled, laying back on him. "I don't want to go back today."

"I know."

"I didn't think it was going to be this hard."

"Me either."

Bella looked up at him. "What if I got through all of this, and it doesn't work?"

"Then I'll love you for the rest of your life," he whispered. "And the rest of mine."

"Promise?" she whimpered, laying her head against his chest again.

"I promise, sweetheart." Edward pressed his lips against the top of her head again. "I promise."

Once more, Bella found herself weeping for her life, for Edward's love, and a future that seemed impossible. She had barely survived the first infusion. How was she going to survive almost a dozen more?

Thank you for all the reviews. Told you it was going to be difficult.