Disclaimer: I do not own the messed up characters of Cowboy Bebop, so please don't sue me!

Da Bebop

(Narrator): It's a quiet day in early April. A delicate rose falls to the moist ground. A tall green-haired man by the name of Spike Spiegel is shown in a distance. He is leaning against the wall while beginning to smoke a cigarette. He lights the cigarette. He breathes in the smoke. He breathes out the smo-

"Will you please shut the fuck up!" Spike demanded.

Just then Spike received a call on his cell-phone. "Hello?" Spike answered "Spike, this is Jet. I need you to get your fro-havin', lazy ass down here!" "Hello?" Spike asked slightly irratated. "I said get your fro having, lazy...you know what just come over to Da Bebop!" "Grr, hello?" Spike asked again.

"Can you hear me now?" "Not really." Spike stated. "What about now?" "Yes, I can hear you." "Good." Jet was pleased. "...What about now?" "Yes, you dumb fuck!" Spike yelled. "All right Mr. Tight-Ass, meet me in the Bebop." CLICK.

(Narrator): With that word Spike hopped his tight-ass into his ship, the Swordfish II . Then stuck his key into the ignition, but the ship refused to start. So he put it in again and then took it out. Then he put it-

"Excuse me, didn't I tell you to shut the hell up?! Hmm, what's wrong with this piece of crap?" Spike questioned curiously as he kicked the ship. VROOM. "There, it works better when I kick it."

"Spike man, where ya been? I've been waitin' forever."

"Sorry, Jet, I stopped at Burger Ding."

"Oh, did cha get me a burger?!" Jet exclaimed.

"Um, you didn't ask for one."

"Fine, be a little selfish biatch. Anyway, we have a new bounty. Some chick named Faye Valentine." "And?" Spike questioned.

"And what?"

"Is she hott?"

" I don't know, do ya like hookers?"

"It depends, what kind of-"

"Spike, let's just do our damn job!"

"Okay, so what do we got?" Spike asked as he looked into a monitor.

"We got a caucasian woman, bout' five foot six. She's twenty-three years old and has green eyes with...Spike what are you doing? Are you drooling?"

"What, no ofcourse not. Don't be so ridiculous!"

"Sure...anyway she has black hair. This chick shouldn't be too hard to spot considering she has the biggest-"

"Alrighty, Jet, are we gonna dipse or what?"

"...Dipse...what the hell is dispe? Jet questioned." "N-never mind..." Spike replied.

Spike reached a gambling casino in Venus. When he saw a woman in yellow lying on cardboard placed on the ground.

"Um, what are you doing?"

"Huh, who the hell are you?"

"I'm Spike Spiegel and your worst nightmare. How are you doing today?"

"Fuck off, I'm not a hooker!"

"Your not...I mean...I am actually here for another purpose."

"Look, I don't care what you want, who you are, or how big it is."

"Okay, wait a minute...what was that last part?"

"What, I didn't say anything. God, the sexual tension is killing me...do you have a cigarette?"

"Yeah, wait a minute...what?!"

"A cigarette, what are you death?"

"No. I'm actually blind in one of my eyes; cause one of them is fake." Spike responded. "I don't give a damn about your eye pain in the ass! Just give me a cigarette, okay?" The woman retorted. Spike then gave her the cigarette she so desired.

"So, what brings you to this casino?" The woman questioned.

"I'm looking for someone."

"Oh, who are you looking for?"

"You..."

"What, is that supposed to be a pick-up line or something?"

"No, I'm looking for a Faye Valentine and I think you're her. So let's start this over shall we?" Spike then quickly pointed his gun at her fore head. "...I see..." Faye hesitated. "Nice to meet you Faye. I hope the feeling is mutual."

Authors Note: I must have changed this story atleast twice so please feel free to tell me what you think.