Disclaimer: I do not...REPEAT do not own Cowboy Bebop or the characters associated with it.

(Flight Attendant): DOOT. The plane will be landing on Venus soon. Note that some people may be allergic to the floating penises. You may get penis-sickness…so contact a doctor immediately if you begin to experience symptoms such as swelling and itching. That is all. DOOT.

Spike was sitting in his chair resting when out of the blue three people named Huey, Dewey and Louie stood up. Louie approached a snobby rich man sitting in the chair. The rich man shivered while saying, "P-please d-don't hurt me…I'll g-give you free tickets to Slipknot concerts for the rest of your life!"

Louie proceeded in hitting the man while yelling, "Slipknot! Who the hell do you think I am?"

A dark-haired, tan-colored man was cowering in his sit close by. "Oh why! Why did I have to get Syphilis now?" Rocco said to himself.

Spike suddenly woke up to find that every one but the three criminals were silent in fear. "Hey what's going on here?" Spike asked.

Dewey noticed that Spike was standing and made his way to where he was. "Sit the fuck down!" Dewey commanded. There was no answer. Dewey repeated, "Sit the fuck down!" No answer again. Dewey repeated once more, "I said, sit the fuck dow-" Spike struck the man in the face and pushed him down violently. Huey then came charging from behind Spike and made an attempt at trying to hit him, but he failed for Spike blocked his attack. Spike then pushed him down with Dewey. Louie FINALLY realized that there is a fight going on and made her way toward Spike.

"You son of a bitch! That's enough of that!" Louie yelled. Faye quickly comes from behind and sprays something in her eyes. "My eyes, my freakin' eyes!" Louie screamed.

Spike was curious, "Hey, what's that spray stuff?"

Faye smiled, "Oh this? Oh, it's only this cum I bought. The flight attendants were selling them with the appetizers."

(Narrator): Somewhere in a space port…Spike is seen collecting bountymoney from the plane incident. Faye and Rocco notice, and they both proceed to bug the hell out of him.

Faye smiled from ear to ear, "Hey, Spike, can I have my-"

"No." Spike replied abruptly.

"That's not fair! You didn't even let me finish what I was going-"

"No." Spike replied again.

"Listen, fucker, I want my part of the bounty!"

"Okay." Spike answered.

"Really?"

"No."

"Grrr…Spike…I need it now!" Faye declared.

"Well, I know but I just had sex with you on the plane so-"

"Ewww…just give me the money." Faye said.

"Here, take it. Haha, I said take it. Take it Faye."

"Fuck you Spike."

(Narrator): Faye leaves and for a blissful moment Spike has some peace and quiet. Until that other pain in the ass, Rocco, decides to come rushing at him with a knife.

"YAHHHHHHHH!" Rocco screamed. Spike blocked his sad attempt and threw him to the floor. Rocco was amazed, "Wow, you really know your moves huh?"

"Yeah, I practice Karma Sutra every other day." Spike stated.

"Ooo, maybe you could teach me some moves?" Rocco asked.

"No. Infact, I should hit you again for suggesting that…freak…I DON'T KNOW YOU!" With that said, Spike made his way out of the space port by way of elevator. Rocco followed him to the elevator.

"Hey wait! I was wondering if you could show me how to last long." Rocco said.

"What?" Spike asked.

Rocco repeated, "I was wondering if I could be strong like you."

"Oh…well…come outside and I'll show you a thing or two."

"You'll show me your thing…what?" Rocco questioned.

"No…I…come outside perverted stalker."

Spike stood outside while waiting for Rocco to arrive. He puffed on a cigarette. Ironically, he was standing next to a no smoking sign.

"Hey, Spike over here man…over here!" Rocco yelled.

"What took you so…what the hell is up with my voice? I sound like that guy from that Austin Powers movie." Spike said curiously.

"Yeah you kinda do sound like Mini Me. Anyway, an old myth has it that the first person to ever come to Venus was kicked in the balls by an alien so from then on he talked in a high pitched voice. Yet I think it's just the helium in the air. Here, fix it with some of this nasty tasting medicine." Rocco gave Spike the medicine and Spike took it. Then Spike walked away while Rocco followed after him. "Hey, man, come back!" Rocco commanded.

"Goodbye weirdo…hey my voice didn't change."

"Yeah, that was just cough medicine that I gave you."

"Motherfucker!" Spike grabbed Rocco by the collar.

Rocco just grinned, "Ooo you like it rough don't you?"

"Who are you?" Spike asked.

"I'm Rocco. Rocco Bonnaro and I'll be your sex slave."

"Ew…let's just start with the basics. I want you to come at me."

"Come with you?"

"No… AT me. But don't tense your muscles up."

"I'll try not to…" Rocco then charged at Spike but got knocked down.

"No, Rocco, you need to be like cum." Spike insisted.

"Cum?" Rocco questioned.

"Yes, it flows gently, aggressively, quickly and slowly at the same time. You need to be like that. Got it dumbass?"

"I think so…look I gotta go." Rocco rushed off but before he went he handed Spike an item wrapped in some type of cloth. "Meet me by the cathedral!"

Spike unwrapped the cloth and opened the case containing a plant. "Hmm, what is this?"

(Narrator): Spike arrived in what looked like a secluded desert, but it was Rocco's broken down home where he and his sister Stella lived.

"Hello…anybody…" Spike suddenly froze for Stella was now pointing a gun directly at his head.

"Who's there? Who are you? Why are you here!" Stella questioned while frantically waving her gun.

"Hey, don't get your panies in a bunch lady! I'm not gonna hurt you." Spike assured.

Stella took a step forward but tripped and fell into Spike's arms. "Ew, you pervert, let go of my buttocks this instant!"

"S-sorry…I just came to see Rocco." Spike apologized.

"Oh you're a friend of Rocco's?"

"No." Spike stated.

"Oh…good then."

"Why do you say that?" Spike asked.

"Because he sucks."

"Oh…"

"It's a good thing you're nothing like him."

"What makes you so sure that I'm not?" Spike questioned.

"…Well you have something inside of you. Deep within you…it just doesn't show that much...that's all."

"Hey, something does feel like it's inside of me! …Is that your finger!"

Author's Note: Another short chapter of the Waltz for Venus episode, then it's probably My Funny Valentine...and then DUN DUN DUN the long awaited Jupiter Jazz part One and Two! Woo, I got some work to do...see ya!