Rowling's world, I only play here for fun, gaining nothing but the joy.
Rated M for a reason, you were advised.
My idea of fluff is maybe a little off, but Please enjoy as much as you can :)
Oh, and I would be greateful for reviews, I am the least practiced in writing romantic scenes, so any and every thought you share is precious for me.
Chapter 45. "Fight or Flee"
The elf reminded Severus that the Headmaster would know if a house elf Apparated anyone in Hogwarts, but Severus knew this time where he would suggest anyone put those rules. Or any other. Chubby grabbed his outstretched hand and the next moment he found himself just inside the Infirmary's doors.
Severus' gaze slipped through the long room. A few beds were recently occupied, Longbottom or some other kids must have had their scratches healed before leaving for the holiday. Umbridge moved in restless slumber near the right wall – none of these were whom he was looking for. At the far end of the room, he saw Madam Pomfrey's back disappearing behind a curtain. His legs took him towards her without a thought, only to face the unconscious Trelawney. Poppy's overexcited flow of words upon seeing him gave no time to feel disappointed.
"Severus, can you imagine? She just appeared with a house elf, now look at her! I'm quite sure she's been poisoned, but I cannot match any draught I know to her symptoms. Would you mind–"
"Water," – Severus managed to croak out hoarsely. "Just give her water, Poppy, and help her symptoms as they show. Any antidote given blindly would only interfere with whatever she'd been given."
"Do you mean we have to get her off of something? Who would do such a thing with poor Sybil? And why? After that horrible scene in the Hall, I thought she'd suffered enough… Why, I can't even tell her the Headmaster restored–"
He had no patience for the yammering. "Poppy, tell me, did she come back alone?"
"Well, the house elf who took her returned shortly with another–"
"Where is she?"
Now the mediwitch eyed him with confusion. "You knew about it? Well, Professor Moody didn't look much better, though I couldn't detect fresh poisoning with a scanning spell. She's seriously malnourished and dehydrated, and I've been worried for–" – while talking, the mediwitch pulled over the other side of the curtain and the sight of Sage effectively drew out her voice.
It was hard to tell if she was asleep or unconscious. Her skin looked like parchment and dark circles ran all around her eyes. The hand she rested over the cover seemed almost translucent in its fragility. Severus couldn't help the tumult of thoughts and feelings surfacing his mind.
Was it also his fault? The badly thought-out plan? Hell, he had chastised Potter for agreeing with the insanity that endangered his friend and with the next step he agreed to Sage taking Sybil to her aunt! What idiot would nod to something if he didn't even know the details? Not knowing where the witches went didn't acquit him of being at fault, it just made it all worse….
Poppy kept talking about nourishing cocktails and Strengthening Solutions, which only took him back to his memories. She'd brewed the best concoction for him that he'd probably ever had. Now at least he could return the favour. And he would stay around as she did, he would find patience, even offer his mind if it was needed, he wanted no secrets from her anyway… was this the reason she'd never hesitated?
Was it possible she felt the same? Oh, no, not like this, - Severus was sure. He didn't even want her to feel this desperate for him even if he knew he would die happy if that helped her…. That wouldn't, you fool, brewing would be more efficient! – His more pragmatic self rolled his eyes at his idiocy again.
Poppy's astonishment, when he turned and hurried to his lab, didn't register. He knew there were Strengthening Solutions enough in the Infirmary's stores, but he was sure he could make a batch even stronger. And the cocktails… vitamins… he looked up one of his older notebooks to make sure about the mix. Severus' freely roaming magic took care of the brewing within the shortest time. When he saw the precious witch swallowing the drops of draughts falling between her lips from a clean piece of gauze he only felt gratitude.
Sage didn't wake up yet. Severus soaked a piece of cloth into the medicine and put the edge of it in the corner of her mouth. He distantly noticed Poppy's raised eyebrows before the mediwitch made Sybil drink her water the same way. He couldn't bring himself to care. The problem was that his self-loathing and gratitude gave their place to anger as time clicked by. Yes, he was probably an idiot, but he was yet to poison anyone, no matter how strong the temptation. However, that Poultron witch….
"Chubby!" – Severus ordered the elf, gnashing his teeth.
"Oh, this was that elf, I told you about!" – Poppy cried out in surprise when the house elf appeared next to him. "Is that yours? I never knew which one of them you took!"
"Master called Chubby," – the little fellow bowed before Severus could reply. "Chubby is happy to serve."
Severus couldn't give any more mind to Poppy.
"When you went to her house, did you see Polla Poultron?" – Severus turned to the elf.
"No, Master," – the creature shook his head with his ears flopping around. "Dark witch is powerful, if Chubby saw her, she would have seen Chubby. Master said careful. Chubby was careful."
"Do you know if this was her doing?" – Severus gestured towards Sage's still unmoving form.
"Chubby is sure as cans be, Master. Mistress told Chubby Dark witch poisoned drink and food. Chubby kept around, appearing when Mistress could see world more. Chubby poured out all water and waited. Mistress then recognized Chubby but very ill, very sad. Mistress wanted not come home."
"But you took her anyway," – Severus guessed.
"NO! Chubby is good elf, Chubby does not what Mistress denies. Chubby obeys!" – cried the elf, obviously with hurt feelings. Thankfully this only made him more eager to tell everything he could. "Mistress tried to help the one Chubby should not recognize but Mistress was weak. Head was weak, magic was weak. Chubby gives clean water but could not clean food. Dark witch strong in magic, Chubby could not stay. Mistress eats not for days and drinks only when Chubby appears with clean water. When Mistress talks no insane anymore Chubby convinces she comes home. Then Chubby takes her and the other one."
Severus tried to make sense of the tale and deduced that Sage and Sybil must have been poisoned first thing after their forced Apparition. His blood boiled thinking about the vulnerable position she'd put herself into with her aunt, and the harridan used it! The house elf's presence must have pulled her out of her delirium to a certain level, but it couldn't help enough. Blast Gamp's laws, even a house elf cannot magic food, only water!
Head was weak, magic was weak – Polla Poultron was an accomplished potioneer, she must have given them something which made it hard to focus on magic. Otherwise Sage would have escaped even without a wand…. No. With a strange memory about a young witch making a promise to her grandmother, it became obvious: Héloïse made her promise not to ever let her aunt know she had been trained wandless. And the witch kept her promise.
"Oh, sweet Merlin," – Severus sighed, rubbing his face helplessly with the realization. She would have stayed to suffer just to keep a more than twenty years old promise to her grand-mere! Typical. She would have found a way without that promise, but she kept her word instead – what would have come upon her had he not sent the elf? A sparkle of hope finally shone, suggesting to Severus that maybe he wasn't completely useless.
"You did well, Chubby," – he eventually told the elf. "Go back and rest. I'll call you if I need anything."
"Thank you, Master!" – The house elf gratefully bowed and disappeared, but Severus couldn't go back to his dark musings with Poppy's suspiciously twinkling eyes trained on him.
"Severus?" – The mediwitch tried to gain his attention. "Don't you feel like telling me something?"
He mentally ran through all the facts and conjectures but couldn't find anything of her interest. The cure they initiated was reasonable even possessing more details about their patients' conditions. Oddly, Poppy almost chuckled when he told her that.
"Oh, nothing medical, Severus… I haven't known you had a house elf but… Why would he call Sage Moody his mistress?"
This time the origin of her glee was painfully obvious, and Severus shuddered to think what kind of gossip could start with her talking about this.
"Poppy, I," – He tried to find a way to explain Chubby's annoying ways but came up with nothing. "It's… It's not like what you think! I thought she was your patient anyway you shouldn't…"
For some reason, his mumbling only made the witch chuckle harder, and eventually, she promised her silence in a way that didn't match either her age or her station. It was disturbing enough for Severus to turn away from her with a grimace – as it happened, the only other way he could look was either Sage's hand on the cover or her pale face and nothing could penetrate his sole focus on her anymore.
Severus watched the witch as if he could help her heal with his will and vigilance, noticing all her breaths, the smallest move of a muscle… Whenever she seemed as if she swallowed, he dampened the cloth again and trickled either water or medicine between her lips. After a while, that seemed to ease her into sleep.
Hours passed and morning came, but Sage was still yet to open her eyes, so Severus kept to what he'd always done best and watched. He didn't even look up when Poppy introduced the harebrained idea of his leaving. He didn't move a muscle when McGonagall stopped by with Sprout. When the Headmaster stood for some minutes at the foot of Sage's bed, he noticed he was talking but his considerate mind kindly failed to register the words.
About noon Sage finally woke for a few minutes, not that Severus knew what the time was. She drank and accepted the potions. When she fell back to sleep Severus finally dared to doze off too. He woke in the dim lights of an early night for a familiar squeeze on his hand and Sage was smiling at his bewildered expression.
"You love me," – she whispered.
It wasn't a question and he felt so shy he was afraid it coloured his cheeks.
"Nah, you cannot be sure about that, witch," – he tried to avert the attention of his suddenly rapid pulse.
"You wrote me a letter at Christmas," – she told him. Her voice was soft and tired, but her eyes shone with mischief, full of life. "I wasn't myself when your elf found me," – she went on explaining when she waited for his reply in vain. "I tried to send him away. Polla–" – she sighed. "Chubby kept talking about anything but you to keep me awake. It frightened me. I was afraid something had happened, or you were angry with me… I had to know. So I looked into his mind… and when you wrote…" – she hesitantly stopped, and Severus risked looking up into her eyes again. "And I love you too," – she finished without a warning.
Those words, cliché or not, either made his heart stop or stopped the Earth from rotating. Later Severus wondered if she was aware of the magnitude of those words. Later he also mused if that had been the first time he'd heard those four words directed at him in such perfect order. Later. That moment though, he only felt his breath catch awkwardly as he stared at her, probably like a prize idiot, and was glad he was already seated. No. He was just – glad. As hard as it was to believe that it happened, that she had indeed said those words, when the air returned to his lungs breathing felt smoother. Lighter.
"Good," – Severus grunted out. After a few more moments of staring, he tried to swallow or wet his lips but his mouth felt dry. "That's very good indeed," – he repeated, this time with a tad more confidence and Sage's smile ran wider.
He knew he would need time to accustom himself to a world that had just fundamentally changed. Judging by her hand playing around his fingers, Severus knew she would help. They alternately slept and stared at each other with more and more confident smiles playing around their faces because somehow there didn't seem to be anything of import to say. Or it was just Severus couldn't think of anything worth the trouble and Sage yet being too tired to force him… it didn't matter.
When Poppy appeared with the next batch of draughts and a well-packed breakfast tray in the morning, Severus was aware of her gaze scrutinizing their entwined fingers, but Sage held on, so he didn't move.
Not long into the morning, Minerva returned to enquire after both of her colleagues. Trelawney was yet to fully come around, but Poppy was optimistic, and Sage seemed revived after their shared breakfast even if she still looked a little fragile.
"I talked to Albus," – the older witch announced after a few friendly words, suddenly turning way too serious to be a part of such a morning. "It's hard to get a grip on him, but I believe I managed to annoy him into some admissions… He said he would come here yesterday."
Severus admitted he remembered the Headmaster's presence but had no recollection of his words.
"Really? Well, if he told you what he told me he would, he must have reminded you of the benefits of one minding his own chores and duties as a teacher of this school instead of engaging in 'mindless chatter' out on the corridors."
Severus wasn't amused. "I wonder what I could say to that advice."
Minerva chuckled and peeked at Poppy. "If you want to know the mindless gossip about that, it is you telling the Headmaster that he should fire you!"
When Sage looked at him questioningly hearing this, Severus only shrugged. "If I said that, I haven't changed my mind."
"Did you have a rumpus with Albus?" – Sage asked, obviously confused, while Minerva and Poppy were rather entertained.
"He's not the only one, Sage, and I bet there will be more now, even if Severus should watch his mouth until his hearing," – Minerva replied in Severus' stead, then turned to look at him: "You're hardly in the position to anger him, especially now."
Severus raised a surprised eyebrow. What could have happened again? "Now?"
"He hasn't read the papers," – Poppy supplied. "I didn't want to bother you, but it looks like we're in need of a new Minister of Magic."
"Since last afternoon," – Minerva nodded. "However, Fudge left a list of the participants of the Battle at the Ministry for his successor. Your name leads the list of the Death Eaters, Severus. It's probably a farewell to Albus after their hectic relations in his years in power."
On the words "hearing" and "battle" Sage looked at him with agitation so Severus instantly wished Minerva didn't say a word.
"You should rest," – he attempted to calm her, but he knew it was in vain even before he spoke.
"What did I miss?" – She asked the witches, making both of them chuckle.
"Well, it's hard to say…" – Poppy began. "One could assume not going into battle is not a great loss but even the children didn't seem to share my opinion on the matter."
"Harry had a disturbing nightmare, or as it seems it was somehow influenced by You-know… Voldemort," – Minerva determinedly spoke out the name. "We found Severus, but for some reason, Harry still broke out of school and sought out his godfather, who was insane enough to take him to the Ministry where a bunch of Death Eaters waited for them. The Order was alerted, of course, and Severus followed them too. After Albus fought with V-Voldemort, our spy thought better to reveal himself, got between Harry and You-know-who, and killed him."
Severus watched Sage's face as the witch tried to follow the tale, as her lips parted in astonishment, then as her eyes widened in horror.
"That cannot be," – she shook her head. "No, I don't believe you."
"Do not concern yourself," – Severus tried to calm her. That must have been a mistake.
"Concern?!" – Sage shrieked and sat up. "How can you all be so calm?"
"Don't worry, dear," – Poppy stepped in. "They might have moved his hearing to the Wizengamot but Severus has quite a defence."
This time Severus paled as well since he was yet to learn about the consequences of Fudge's parting surprise. The Wizengamot. Dementors. Again. He'd sworn not to let them bind him to that chair anymore… not alive. He looked at Sage's alarm and could almost feel his feet losing ground.
"What about the – artifacts?" – Sage cautiously asked.
"Taken care of," – Severus was glad he could reassure her at least about that. "All of them."
She stared at him with disbelief.
"How long was I at Polla's?"
"Only about a week, I was just–" Severus struggled to find the words. "You had me worried, witch. Lucius thought you were dead, your father didn't move, Dumbledore told me I shouldn't care, it was… annoying. I rushed the… things so I hoped I could go after you. So I took care of one of the artifacts and Dumbledore another, then–"
"You made Albus do something like that without his Champion? You must have been annoyed…" – Sage laughed up short.
"Well, I didn't, it was his brother, but–"
"And you identified two more..?"
"Four, actually, just like Mira told us. It's a long story, Beauxbaton, and you should rest instead. It's enough that after the Dark Lord attacked Potter's mind, it was all done and–"
"How–" – she began, and Severus knew what must have made her curious.
"His Occlumency held better than I expected. You did well with the boy."
"It wasn't only me," – Sage took his hand again, but it was clear she wanted to hear more.
"The boy was a Horcrux" – the words just flew out of Severus' mouth. "That was Dumbledore's secret! One from each founder of the bloody school but the consecrated Gryffindor heritage, which was obviously above of the Dark Lord to use it, that damned snake of his, and the boy!"
Sage squeezed his hand tight as she asked him: "Tell me you didn't kill him, it would be so unfair, after all you've done…"
"I won't apologize, witch, I never thought I would have to, or even that I could if I must, but… I put my whole life on waiting because of him. It was my stupid mistake, and when the moment came, I just had to–"
"I will not believe you've killed Potter!" – She cried out, cutting him.
"No, I killed the Dark Lord," – Severus stared at her, mirroring her confusion.
Sage's face changed slowly from desperation to amazement.
"You – WHAT?"
While Severus was still searching for the right phrase, she grabbed his cheeks between her palms, paused for only a moment, and then proceeded to give him a kiss that would have made a dead man sing. First, it was bewildering but soon her softness melted his senses and the world outside of her lips dissolved. He felt his neglected body reply with vengeance, and his arms pulled her closer without a thought.
It only got awkward when Minerva coughed.
"Well, now that all of us are on the same page," – she waited for Poppy to control her amusement, "we might as well talk about the rest of the news. The date of the hearings at the Wizengamot are not yet settled. Albus is in a fury since Sirius almost broke down his office's door last night, and Alastor should be here soon to talk with us all. Ex officio, after Albus asked Kingsley to send him. I'm not surprised he wished for a friendly face."
"He won't see mine friendly after including a student in his schemes…" – Poppy interjected with a stubborn little grimace.
"My father's coming here?" – Sage suddenly looked unnerved. "I don't think–" – she began, but Minerva thought she knew what she was about to say and shook her head:
"Of course, Severus would maybe have a better chance convincing him without causing another scene like that… as much as I share your enthusiasm about the events, Sage, I know your common-sense reigns over your exuberance."
Severus found he didn't like McGonagall speaking up for him or chastising Sage, just like he couldn't imagine calling Mad-Eye a friendly face in whatever company – surely he wouldn't be friendly with him. Kissing her daughter or not. Maybe this way it was even worse. Well, Sage never said she wanted him to know…. While he mused, Sage preceded him with an answer:
"Minerva, my father and common sense hardly match. I'd rather say I wasn't ready to see him…" – she looked at Severus – "Unless, of course, if you want me to stay."
Oh, he did, much more than talking to her father even about a relatively easy topic like staying among the Death Eaters' ranks compared to… Before he first began to contemplate talking with Mad-Eye about personal matters, he realized he was yet to answer the witch.
"What does he know about your travels? The Headmaster tried to make me believe he didn't even know about your… sponsorship" – he tried to find a less offensive word, something he rarely endeavoured.
"He's never seen the legal documents. I doubt he suspects it was not my aunt whom grand-mere named to be her heir." Her side-glance at the two other witches made Severus sure they'd better not discuss this longer but did little to explain her hesitance to meet with Mad-Eye. Unless… "He supposes I betrayed his precious cause, siding with Polla. Funny, because my aunt believes the same just the other way around," – she proved his suspicions with her next words.
"Then you'd better not cross him just to keep me company, Beauxbaton," – Severus told her with hardship. It was the last thing he wanted but distance may save her from mixing into the trials.
Sage's gaze hardened, and she moved to get up.
"Is that what you believe I was about? To keep you company? I thought– Never mind! May I have some privacy please?" – She suddenly asked from all.
Poppy protested but Severus had a hunch she wouldn't have the means to keep Sage in place if she decided to leave. Minerva must have thought the same, for she left through the curtain with him. Severus felt her searching glances but couldn't humour her curiosity, not the least because he wasn't sure about anything at all. Did he hurt the witch? Everything seemed so fine and perfect just half an hour ago! He tried his hardest to understand the mistake he obviously made again but was lost like most of the time when it came to the feminine mind.
Sage wasn't that hard to understand in October – he mused – it was one of the reasons I initially appreciated her company. Her company… finally it occurred to him they passed the level of tentative friendship, and maybe she wished him to acknowledge that. Well, it was worth a try. When Sage emerged fully dressed in her repaired robe and with an agitated mediwitch on her heels, Severus cautiously asked where she thought she was headed.
"Anywhere, really," – she hastily replied. "Poppy, I promise I will rest and eat."
"Molly took over at the Headquarters, I'm sure she would be happy to–" – Minerva began for Severus' intense horror. To let her slip from his fingers just to live under the mutt's roof was unthinkable.
"I know a better one if you trust me. A place less– crowded" – he searched for the word for a second, betraying his insecure hesitance. It seemed to work for her hard glance changed to be only surprised.
When Sage nodded, Severus took their leave from the older witches promising to care about her needs. Sage's refusing Poppy's fussing in favour of following him blindly gave him a strange warm feeling somewhere under his chest even if Minerva's warnings about the hearings and Mad-Eye sufficiently tempered that.
"It looks you still have me for company," – the witch noted when they were descending the stairs towards the Entrance Hall. Severus glanced at her warily, but she wore a mischievous smile.
"So it seems," – he agreed gladly, and when her foot slipped at the edge of a stair he used the opportunity to take her hand. She let him, and his heart lifted even more.
"Never a friend of a hundred and forty-two staircases, Beauxbaton?" He received an elbow into his ribs which made him feel as young as she had made him feel in October.
"Will you not get into trouble for leaving before he arrives?" – She asked meaning her father.
"I doubt he comes to help my case anyway," – Severus shrugged. At the moment the hearings, politics, or trouble were the farthest thing from his mind, and he was determined to keep it that way.
Leaving the building behind, he noticed that the weather was mild and that she didn't pull her hand away. It was hard to cope with the rapid change in his inner world, and Severus couldn't stop glancing at the witch. And somehow that began to colour her cheeks and made her smile.
Gods, it was like being just a man walking with a blushing woman in the sunshine! It should have been something he knew! It should have been less unique and novel! But Severus didn't mind a thing. He suddenly felt lighthearted and young, and he just slipped his hand from hers and reached for her waist instead, revelling in the simple fact she let him!
"So you say you trust me, witch?" – He raised a playful eyebrow, and when she affirmed, he grabbed her waist stronger and leapt into the air.
Sage squeaked with surprise and laughed when they flew above Hogwarts' grounds down to the gate.
"What on Earth are you doing?" – She cried out with laughter when her feet touched the ground outside.
"Bragging, I guess," – Severus told her honestly after a short contemplation.
She was standing so close and still in his arms, her smile played just above his lips.
"I think you should do that more often," – she suggested in a whisper, leaning even closer till his breath caught in anticipation. Severus had to close his eyes to focus on his aim before he Apparated them until he could.
When the familiar squeezing sensation of Side-along Apparation subsided, Sage hung onto his shoulders in a tight embrace. Suddenly embarrassed, Severus put some distance between their thighs to hide his instant baser reaction. She must have understood his movement as a suggestion to take a look around because she did just that and seemed very much surprised finding herself in a back garden, as big as tissue paper, with a not-so-well-maintained Muggle house's backdoor in sight.
"Where are we?" – Sage asked, still smiling with trust. It was unbelievable.
"This used to be my parents' house, I–" – Severus hesitated. In his letter written after Christmas, he'd made her a promise, well, maybe it was time she learnt how much that was worth. "We can say I live here… so… welcome…" – he gestured to all he owned with hesitance. Astonishingly, she didn't turn to examine the house but rather took her time to grin at him, taking his hand.
"Thank you, Severus," – she said softly, and let him lead the way. It wasn't only disconcerting because he knew what little he could offer.
"Don't expect too much, I haven't been around since the holidays."
They entered into the dusty and damp kitchen, with a rundown Muggle washing machine next to the sink, and torn tiles by the doorframe. He could already smell the stale air from the corridor and the living room and lost the rest of his confidence. How on earth could it possibly occur to him to take a witch like her here, of all places? She walked a few steps and waited for him, Severus couldn't read her eyes.
"Chubby!" – he called out for the elf, finally thinking at least he should have cleaned up before inviting her over and hoping for some miracle to save him. Maybe the elf would have something up his sleeve.
"Chubby finally serves Master's house!" The little fellow couldn't be happier, bouncing on his feet and with a strange glitter in his bulgy eyes.
"This is exactly what I am asking you to do, elf, make this place a little more liveable if you can," – Severus commanded, and remembering their short stay after Christmas, he began to hope for at least a measure of success.
He showed Sage to the living room with a quick air cleaning charm ahead of them, and the tension eased in his chest when he heard her amazed sigh seeing the multitude of his books. Severus silently thanked his seven months younger self for repairing the floorboards in the summer. At least it didn't feel like walking in a swamp when one approached a bookcase anymore. The carpet was only a few years old too… Merlin, that must have been foresight… and… - Severus had to stop leading his scrutinizing look around his belongings when the house elf popped up, and a swirl of magic made all the dust disappear from the room.
"Master would like Chubby to make a tea tray?"
He could only glance questioningly at Sage in his surprise. Tea, of course, you idiot, it should have been you to come up with that ingenious idea, how fucking original… He suddenly remembered he also had some elf-made wine somewhere and probably no food at all, but Sage only nodded and Chubby blinked out of sight.
Severus' embarrassment mounted against all reason until he didn't feel confident that he could rule in his nerves anymore. He always had been the fidgety awkward type. He had barely learned to conceal it, but this time the more he hoped to hide his oddity, the more he was convinced he would fail.
"You write into your books" – Sage suddenly laughed at the other side of the room. "Gods, and not just a word or two!"
Severus walked closer to see what she held. It was a summary of experimental spell-crafting from the early eighties. Of course, he'd felt the need to rewrite it, half of the theories never worked, and the other half felt dumb and aimless. But it was a goldmine to prompt his new ideas when he one-sidedly quarrelled with an author's approach, so eventually, he had kept it as a notebook than an actual booklet. He told as much to Sage and reached above her head to choose a worn old little book from a higher shelf.
"I don't write into all of them," –he held it out for her with a smirk.
As soon as she opened the book, a wide range of emotions flew through the witch's face before she looked at him with glinting eyes.
"True it is, without falsehood, certain and most true," – she began, but Severus stopped her with a hand over hers.
"I'm very glad you're here," – he told her softly. "Even if this is not–" – her lips stopped him before he could finish apologizing for nothing. The kiss was chaste but sweet, easing his worries and making him want more again. So much more…. "I meant to say," – he cleared his throat with sudden smugness, "it was high time you returned. You're very much late for our rendezvous after all."
Her eyes rounding out with recognition was oh-so-very rewarding!
"Now about that…" – she put a light finger on his chest and eyed him like a cat would a mouse. She slowly walked around him, caressing him into obedience until his back was to his bookcase. "I wouldn't be surprised if you wished for compensation."
Her fingers played all over his chest and neck, reaching up to his face, touching lightly, stroking, caressing. By the time she leaned close again, Severus was ready to throw his mind away, but she got on her tiptoes, took hold of his shoulder and only put the book back to its place, leaning onto him as she reached the high shelf.
For Severus' pleasure, her outstretched body lifted against his so deliciously that her chest rose high enough for him to comfortably plant kisses on her breasts with just a little leaning over… she laughed as if he tickled her but couldn't squirm away for his arms already encircled her waist tightly.
"I accept any kind of atonement you're ready to offer," –he whispered in her ear, and his hands ran up along her spine and pulled her even closer.
"And what if I'm unrepentant? What would you do then?" – She laughed and let her arms fall to hug his shoulders. She combed her fingers through his hair, sending shivers down his spine.
"Are you now?" – Severus couldn't help smiling. "Then I will have to convince you some way." He pulled her down to face him and for the first time, he slowly leaned forward to kiss her.
With more breath than pressure, he let his lips feather over hers. He took in the scent of her skin, ran his hands over her round shoulders and let them caress her neck, the back of her head, then he held her cheeks within his thumbs and slipped in between her parted lips. When she moaned her agreement, he almost lost balance with a sudden surge of desire. She kissed him back and somehow it ceased to be a game.
Severus lost himself within her lips so much his hands didn't even move for a long time. He lost connection to any other reality but her taste and small tender movements as she melted into him. Only her hips rolling against his made him realize how far he was taken already, as he gasped for air he had to struggle against losing the last threads of his control. It was too much after this long waiting. Not only desire but a row of small pleasures, threatening to undo him before he began.
He tried to step aside from the enthralling contact, but his back pressed into the bookcase, there was nowhere to go.
"Gods, witch," – he panted against her, grabbing her hips to slow them. "Easy," – he whispered into her mouth, "I've been longing for you for so long…" He couldn't help it, when she finally let off the pressure, he swooped down on the base of her neck, sucking, kissing, licking his way down under her robe.
Her caressing fingers found a way amidst the folds of his robe, and she undid his buttons with expert ease, reaching skin that was overly sensitive from neglect and lust. Her caresses taunted his nipples and his abdomen and ran around his waist, so she hugged him close. He tore her robe aside and found a corset under, it pushed up her breasts and held them in a way which made them firm and soft at the same time. Their touch on his chest felt overwhelming, and he pushed her shoulders back to dive between them. Bliss.
For a long time, Severus couldn't sense anything but those small handfuls of orbs, even if his hands involuntarily stroked down along her sides, slipped inside her robe and pushed it off of her shoulders. His fingers caught on the strings of the corset and there collided with hers, which helped him loosen the lacing until it surrendered and her bosom was free for his reach.
Severus grabbed up the witch by her waist and turned them both to have her against the bookcase. He bent down and lavished her with kisses, celebrated both of her breasts by tasting and sucking them, tickling her chest with his nose. Sage whimpered with pleasure and laughter, this time even her giggles spurred him on. She loved it! The thought made him drunken with excitement, and nothing was enough anymore.
He had a fleeting thought about taking her upstairs, but her foot lifted off her shoe and ran up the back of his leg, stroked his tight, pressed down on his butts and opened up her half-dressed beauty for him in the most enticing way. All Severus could do was to gather her up in his arms, holding her by her bum, and stumbled those few steps to his worn-out couch.
They fell on it gracelessly between her giggles and his curses, but all awkwardness was hushed by the thrill of her rounded butt still in his hands. He veered down to give all his attention to the remainder of her clothing, losing his robe somehow in the process. It must have had to do with her hands stroking his back but all his focus was on getting rid of that damned skirt that had stopped him the last time he dared to believe…
The memory called another strong surge of craving for her, it almost physically shook him with its force. Sage reached for him and hugged him close as if she sensed his mood and limits.
"I need you right now," – she breathed into his ear and kissed a line of pleasure down his neck and shoulder. Her hands tugging at his pants explained her words further, not that he needed a handbook to figure them out. Getting skin on skin with this finally naked witch still outdid his wildest imagination, and Severus could only spare a fleeting thought about wanting her more than probably anyone ever in his life.
Way too much to stay confident when she pulled her knees sideways, and he tried to gulp a calming breath before diving into what he already knew would overwhelm him.
"I doubt this will last long, witch," – he felt obliged to warn her but had no idea how lovable she found his wide-eyed desperation and soft panting. Sage let off the caresses all over his body in favour of reaching for his face, holding it so close that he barely saw her smile. Her eyes seemed liquified by emotion, their colour so light they almost shone like gold around her dilated pupils.
"We have days, Severus," – she reminded him softly. "This is just a first… and I want you a hundred times or more." Her kiss was slow and tender, soothing his fears and giving way to the warmth of affection. It resonated on a whole different level within his soul. This passion was unhurried and reliable, and while her tongue caressed his gently, he slid inside her with natural ease.
Severus gasped against her lips and dared not to move for seconds. Her softness held him so tight he could feel her pulse throbbing around him, and her answering open-mouthed moan worked against any kind of focus.
"Fuck, I wanted this for so long," – she whimpered needily, and moved her hips against him, giving no chance or reprieve.
He dared not to answer, his grunts escaped even through clenched teeth, but he could not deny her more than himself. Struggling to keep it slow and easy, Severus finally began to move. Every little push was a glimpse of heaven, and it took time to regain enough control amid the pulses of pleasure to return her kiss. When he finally did, it seemed to last forever. Her softness and warmth up and down around him made him feel weak and the almighty ruler of the whole wide world at the same time.
Because she was the world at the moment. Everything else washed away like when falling free backwards into the abyss, only this time he fell face front into everything. The boy who once thought there was only the holy nothing was now submerged into the living, pulsating reality of life. It moved with him. Together, flawlessly, endlessly…
"Sage!" – He suddenly gasped, the pleasure already shaking him in waves before he dissolved into her with everything he had.
Blank calm bliss.
Severus had no idea if he lay on Sage's shoulder for seconds or for hours, but when he next came to some of his senses, he heard her say she loved him. He dared not to look up into her eyes, his face already felt suspiciously damp, and the corners of his eyes stung with the prickliness of fresh tears. He noticed her nipple was within easy reach and lazily sucked it in, playing with the firm rose button until she caressed his cheek. By then he gathered the courage to look up at her face. It was soaking wet with the traces of her unshed tears above her smile.
"We are idiots," – Severus snorted, and her chuckle somehow made it romantic.
"Yes," – she agreed. "Very happy idiots, if you ask me."
The thought was extraordinary, and with a mind beyond slack, it took a few moments of contemplation to truly grab it.
"I think we are," – Severus eventually had to agree with true amazement. Then he also realized their happiness would be short-lived if he squeezed her to death laying over her any longer. "Come, I promised you a tea," – he remembered and held out a hand for her when he stood up.
Sage still took his breath away in her naked glory, and it needed some discipline not to immediately begin to caress her again. The effort proved futile for she exercised no such restraint. Before Severus knew it, they were engaged in an endless kiss again. It was only too easy to recognize they were unlikely to call the elf anytime soon, but Severus now was sober enough to remember his fright just a day prior.
"You need to rest, witch," – he reminded her rather reluctantly after her kisses reached his ears, and her strokes descended on his back toward his bare buttocks. Both of those he knew he loved too much to maintain reason if he let her proceed. Groaning, he captured her wrists and held them together between their chests, as if presenting an argument. "I promised I would feed you and–"
"…and keep me in bed?"
He grinned at her cheek.
"That's what I plan to do, but you will eat and drink first." He ran his fingers along her visible ribs and clavicle. Her beauty wasn't of the flesh, he'd always wished she was rounder, but now he would be content with just restoring her health.
They eventually agreed on a compromise, and Severus led her up to his parents' bedroom, miraculously prepared with fresh sheets and aired out, thanks to the house elf's invisible service, to indulge in the decadence of having their tray in bed. Chubby didn't disappoint. There wasn't just cake and tea, also fruits appeared for Sage's greatest delight. Fresh and preserved, and cream and jam – and more details Severus would have been hard-pressed to remember if at all. For additional relief, the elf stayed away, only the goods turned up when they called for them – a small convenience he was grateful for, probably natural for Sage.
The location was ideal to interrupt their feast several times when a touch or a look awoke a different kind of hunger, and the day turned into night without either of them giving it any mind. Shortly before midnight, while they dozed within crumbs and jam stains, holding onto each other tight with arms and legs entwined, the happiest house elf of Britain vanished the last tray from the room.
The morning after found Severus early up and out behind the house. It was chilly but the sun found a way to shine down on him. He felt so easy as if nothing could ever erase the secret grin from his face.
Taking stock in the light of his last night of all the occurrences of these last few weeks – much longer if counted what he spent out of time – he discovered he wasn't anyone's obedient servant anymore. If that wasn't enough, he also loved the most astonishing, exciting, and wonderful witch of his acquaintance three additional times after the first, right until he felt like a quivering and sore soup of plasma, unable to move or think anymore.
When he woke, she lay in his arms. Stark naked and trustful. Gods! She slept so deep beside him he could dress and walk about the room and she didn't even move! Severus slowly walked over to the wych elm, leaned his head onto its tough bark, and let the laughter peel out of him. He hadn't felt this utterly satisfied in body and soul in his entire life, and now he could only compare it to being high as a kite.
Thoughts and emotions tumbled through his mind without any filter and he enjoyed every second of the experience! This was the turn of untampered joy. He'd already been through awe, gratitude and irrational fear on his way down to the kitchen.
When the laughter subsided, Severus turned to lean his back onto the tree trunk and attempted to rationalize again. It must have been a habit at this point. So he was free. He was loved and trusted. He was also expected to pay for his transgressions and bad choices in front of the Wizengamot, and if he was completely honest he couldn't make himself give a fuck about it because first time in his life he was happily in love.
Severus stared up at the sky and noticed it was clear and blue. Just to add to the miracle, a clear day at the end of February! – He grinned again.
Way to go, old chap, you'll surely convince all to let you walk away with whatever they'd come up against you. You're in love after all! – His ever-present inner voice's cruel sarcasm was unwelcome this time. With a bitter grimace, Severus still had to acknowledge that the voice had a point.
He stared at the back of his house blankly for a long time. There was a witch inside. This simple fact, the events of the last few months, and especially the last day and night all pointed to one resolution: he wanted to make it his life's mission to keep her as happy as the day before she told him she felt. At least. Now was it possible to make and keep her happy with a hearing and possibly a Death Eater trial in his imminent future? With Dementors and Azkaban?
Shite! – Severus' right hand roughly collided with the bark of the tree trunk, in a vain attempt to ease his frustration.
Maybe Minerva was right and he had a good defence. Killing the Dark Lord had to count in some way! On this particular morning, it was hard not to hope. Severus apologetically caressed the bark and endeavoured to maintain optimism.
The best outcome would be a short and final hearing, so he could join Sage to take back what was hers. Then he could maybe repair this house…or another. She might as well choose to stay with him if he did… probably it wouldn't be so hard with Chubby's help… Gods, he wished she stayed as long as–
A distinct noise of Apparition sounded from the other side of the house. Somebody Apparated just a few streets down towards the river! Severus reached for his wand, but he left it in the house. Idiot! He ran towards the backdoor and the elf opened it for him before he could reach for the latch.
"Mrs. Malfoy is going to knock in a minute. Master wants Chubby to answer the door?"
His first thought was to marvel at the elf's efficiency, then… Narcissa?
"No, it's better if I greet her, you should stay hidden," – he replied and hoped Chubby understood his reluctance to show the Malfoys he acquired an elf.
Chubby presented his wand with a deep bow and disappeared just before the knock sounded on the door.
Cissy looked around the empty street with visible anxiety. Her hooded cloak hid her pale and frightened face. She hastily knocked, and Severus stepped aside to let her in. It would have been foolish to deny her now of all times, she would have known he had something to hide. That was the last thing he wanted.
"Oh, Severus, I've been searching for you everywhere!" – She already began. "Draco arrived home yesterday but he had no idea you had left Hogwarts!"
She hurried to the living room's door without invitation with the ease and comfort of their long acquaintance, and she stopped there perturbed. It took Severus a moment to catch up with her and follow her gaze to the haphazardly thrown away Beauxbatons blue skirt by the couch. Curiously, there were no other traces of their last day tryst with Sage, and Severus began to a have a strong suspicion about his elf… That must be a question for another moment to clear up – he decided and with a quick wand move he sent the item up to the bedroom.
"Do you care to sit down?" – Severus tried his best to look as unfazed as he possibly could.
Narcissa didn't play along. "Are you having a guest?"
"As a matter of fact, I do," – Severus straightened his back. There was no point to deny it. "So why don't you just tell me why you're here?"
Narcissa sat on the shabby couch and had no idea why she looked more out of place than usual.
"You are full of surprises," – she tried to begin again. "People are… talking, Severus. Lucius is a fugitive. Bella tells me you've been there. She is full of unbelievable stories of all kinds… like…"
Severus patiently waited but it seemed Narcissa had a hard time finding the courage to go on. Finally, she asked only above a whisper: "Did you really see HIM die?"
Severus swallowed hard and tried to figure out what she was really up to. The fact the Dark Lord was gone was all over the Wizarding World for days.
"If people talk as much as you claim, you must have heard that I did."
Narcissa leaned closer and grabbed his arm eagerly. "Did he really die?"
Now, Severus had finally a hunch about what took her to his doorstep.
"He's as dead as it comes, Cissy. He will not return." Saying the words somehow soothed even his nerves after having his feathers ruffled with her sudden appearance.
Narcissa jumped from her seat and hid her silent yelp behind both hands.
"How?" – She demanded as soon as she regained some control.
Severus saw the relief in her eyes, but his over-trained sense of danger kicked in with force and made him hold his tongue.
"What do they say?" – He asked back instead of confessing.
Proving that he was right, Narcissa looked suddenly embarrassed. "Bella… Some say, and even the Prophet suggested that– that it was you…" – she tried to swallow what must have been nerves. "I could not believe it!"
Severus tried to conceal a grimace when he suddenly had déjà vu. Only years of practice could make him Occlude quick enough to escape the recollections of his last day since Sage said the same. It is true, she only did so by misunderstanding.
"Are you here then to ask me if I killed the Dark Lord, just to decide your quarrel with your sister?" – He eventually resorted to asking back again.
"I didn't mean it that way…" – Narcissa changed tone with disturbing ease, and she was by his arm again, to touch it. "Severus, we have always been friends. Good friends, haven't we?" – She stepped even closer. "I cannot have them plot against you, unjustly…" – she said with a suggestive look in her eyes. "They don't know you as well as I do, and I could help…"
Severus suddenly stepped away. It was clear Narcissa wanted him to find out what she couldn't say, but her closeness wasn't welcome anymore.
"I just wish to see my husband without fear. And you're the only one who didn't flee and no one arrested you… People talk, you know, but I could help…"
Severus turned on her with the ire of the realization.
"Are you trying to threaten me?
"I just want my family safe, is that too much to ask? I told them Dumbledore must have defended you. He's already helped you once out of Azkaban!" Now her voice sounded desperate, but Severus couldn't find it in him to trust her. She wanted a free pass for Lucius and she might even get her wish granted someday, but not like this!
"I doubt he would listen if I tried to defend your husband, Cissa. You probably should go home."
"But this time he hardly did a thing!" – Narcissa cried out. "Even that on order! He's been more to France than at home, what does the Ministry know?!"
In her eagerness to convince Narcissa finally uttered the exact words to turn Severus against her and she must have seen his gaze hardening because she changed direction again. "If you truly betrayed us all, they will come for you, Severus. Mark my words! If I don't help you… Bella believes it was you. A lot follow her, and they want revenge. Are you ready to face them?"
Now Severus regarded her threats with open hostility, but she pushed on until it was all out in the daylight: "If you help your friend, I'll convince them it couldn't be you. I can do it, Severus, you know I would do anything for a real friend. Is it too much to ask of you to help your friend?"
Thinking about his whispered words in the door leading to the Department of Mysteries, Severus clenched his teeth against his awakening ire. He shouldn't hold it against Cissy if she didn't know about that, but a Pensive memory would suffice any day. He decided if Lucius wanted his wife to know about his dealings, he would have told her. What was the bastard thinking about him betraying their lot? There was no way to ask if Cissy spent her time with her sister.
"Tell your sister you couldn't make out what truly happened," – Severus said calmly. "You may also know that I'm not afraid of her. If I help anyone it's solely up to me, and rest assured, Narcissa, that I will take my time to decide if I would risk my station or would not."
Severus gestured to the door, and Narcissa was trained from an early age to obey. She only tuned before leaving, showing how desperate she was.
"But what if he gets into Azkaban? They are preparing for trials–"
"Surely, he knows his way around a trial by now," – Severus told her with just enough cruelty to discourage a sentimental goodbye and shortly after that he could close the door behind her with a discontented grimace.
"You have way more friends than anyone believes about you," – came a dry remark from the kitchen's door, and Sage's form became visible as her Disillusionment Charm faded away.
Instead of feigning surprise, Severus only stepped closer and pulled her into his arms. The relief he felt when the scent of her skin filled again his senses was imminent. He missed her like an addict already, Merlin help him, it was almost disturbing.
"Did you hear everything?" – He only asked.
"Enough to be astonished," – she pulled away to look into his eyes. "There was a moment I even thought you were quite familiar."
"That was long ago, and it has never been anything you should be worried about."
"Are you sure? Because she seemed she would do anything. If you hurry, you may still catch her before she–" – her words swallowed into a high-pitched yelp when Severus pushed her to the wall and silenced her nonsense the best way he could.
It was rewarding how easily he could deter her thoughts; the only problem was that the method worked against him too.
"Come back upstairs," – he grunted out, touching for her waist and he revelled in her answering kiss as long as he could.
"But I'm starving," – she whispered into his mouth as if it was a secret. Unfortunately, under the circumstances, this counted as good news. Severus called the elf and tried and failed to hide a sigh. At least she was amused.
Chubby outdid himself and served a breakfast worthy of Héloïse's porch. Finally, Severus also learned that the food came from a wizarding market, where the elf paid with his galleons, for the goblins recognized the bond between elf and master, which gave Chubby free rein in his vault.
He had to wonder what other surprises were in his future considering house elf magic… Surely he rarely stepped as blindly into a bond as with the – oh, who did he try to mislead? He was an expert when it came to binding arrangements! The only new thing was being this time the master...
"You made me feel at home" – Sage pulled him out of his reverie. She'd just finished her meal. "Aren't you frightened to hear it?"
He wasn't before he heard the typical tone of pureblood witches elbow deep in meddling. "Should I be frightened?" – Severus asked back with narrowing eyes.
Even more suspiciously, she didn't answer straight away. She chose a plum from the bowl and divided it into halves.
"Maybe," – she explained it all, eating one juicy side of the fruit. Severus began to worry about his patience rapidly wearing off. "You know, Narcissa was right," – Sage noted with an air of nonchalance.
"Must we discuss her?"
"I don't give a pixie about her liking you obviously much more than a married witch should," - Sage told him very unconvincingly. "But she was right. You are in trouble."
Severus leaned back against the wall. "Am I again?" – He provoked.
"Yes." The second half of the plum landed on the table as if it had any value as an argument. "You either tell the truth to the Wizengamot, wash your name clean and have Bellatrix hunt you, or act as if you were still loyal to the cause, and sit your due in Azkaban. I hate this."
Severus decided to try and maintain some peace of the morning. He picked up the half plum and ate it. At least she had no more plums to choose from.
"How could I convince you to hold back your optimism?"
"Severus, this is no joking matter."
"And is that a reason to ruin the day?" He reached for her hand and tried to caress her fingers in the most calming way. "I am uninclined to choose either of the ways you mentioned. And I'm not afraid of Bellatrix, as I'm sure you heard. My plans are much more peaceful today if you need to know."
Finally, her eyes sparkled with affection.
"Am I included?"
"They revolve around you," – Severus admitted, and Sage circled the table to sit on his lap. That was much better than worrying.
"So… if your plans already include me, wouldn't it be sensible to make them our plans?"
Now Severus could even snicker. "Witch, aren't you curious?"
He kissed her again in good humour. This was probably the happiest day of his life, and Severus wasn't about to let it just slip away. Sage kissed him back with abandon, adjusted her seat on his lap to reach him everywhere–
– and then half a dozen loud pops of Apparition sounded just outside the house.
They both cursed before they stared at each other with alarm.
"Fight or flee?" – Sage asked with ready practicality.
Severus looked around in the kitchen. She had no wand, she was hurt, and his books had already been soaked into different potions to prevent them from burning in case of a fire. Also, he was too aroused to focus and defend themselves.
"We flee," – he decided. "Chubby, take whatever you can and disappear before anyone sees you!"
He grabbed Sage's hand ready to Apparate from the backdoor when she stopped him.
"Hogwarts?"
"I can't see where else we could go," – he admitted with a painful grimace.
"Then I know better. Do you trust me?"
Severus only grinned at her before Sage Side-along Apparated them away.