The bell rang again. Chazz groaned, still murmuring "Locked Up".
"Chazz do you know what we have next?" asked Alexis.
"Banner...," said Chazz. "I bet he'll make us sing the ABC's and make us play Duck, Duck, Goose."
"You gotta point there." she said.
"This is a total waste of my life!" said Zane. "I could be...hmm...beating up Jaden by now, or giving Syrus an ultra, supersonic, nuclear wedgie."
"He destroyed everything in the whole underwear drawer...the WHOLE UNDERWEAR DRAWER!" Syrus said mounrfully and messaging his butt.
"Heeeey...Alexis...," Jaden purred. "Wanna..."do"uel with me after third period?"
"YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND "DO"UEL YOUR MAMA!" said Alexis with disgust.
"Pervert...," Syrus coughed in his shirt sleeve.
"Are you okay Syrus?" asked Jaden. "You have an awful cough, it sounds like your accusing me of being a pervert. But I don't even know what that is...,"
Chazz snorted loudly.
"...but, your my best friend, so even if it was something bad, you wouldn't say it, right? BEST BUDDY in the world?" Jaden put his arm around Syrus.
"Yeah...best buds...great...," Syrus nodded, yet his mind was screaming. "OH MY GOD! HE ACTUALLY THINKS I'M HIS FRIEND!"
Banner's class room had the faint smell of that scented stuff you can get for your cat litter box you can get at K-Mart with a mixture of Clorox. When the students walked in they could hear rap music playing and there was professor Banner, singing along...
"Lil' mama show me how you move it go ahead put yo back into it Do ya thang like there aint nothin to it Shake.. sh..sh..shake that...Aaaaas I WAS SAYING...welcome to class...erm..kids...heh, heh...," Banner quickly turned off the music and sat at his desk with a cheesy smile on his face.
The students were afraid to move and they stared at him. Then they cautiously walked into the classroom, "That was weird...,"
"Alright, SIT DOWN! Must I define each sylable? There are desks you know!" said Banner slamming the door and knocking over a jar of mayonaise.
"Professor Banner, may I...," Alexis wanted to ask.
"INCORRECT!" Banner yelled slamming his fist on her desk. "Now I hope you did your homework last night!"
"But, Professor, it's just the first day, you never assigned us any homewor...," Chazz said.
"THEN YOU GET A 50!" said Banner.
"Sorry, Sir." said Chazz.
"Well, this is Alchemy class as you all know, and...," Banner said.
"I watch Full Metal Alchemist!" exclaimed a random voice.
"I'm sure you have Ryan...now who can tell me what it is?" There was an awkward silence, the entire class stared at Banner with their mouths agape and drool dripping down their chins like little kindergarteners listening to a storybook being read to them.
"Okay, let's move on now, THIS is your Alchemy textbooks!" Banner held up a book to the whole class.
"IT'S SEXY!" exclaimed Zane pointing to the book.
"Well...I don't think I'd use that adjective to decsribe a book...but...HOLY (censored)!" Banner exclaimed as he realized that the book he really was holding was a Play Boy magazine with a realistic (not cartoon) picture of a...well...you know what a Play Boy is! Blushing, Lyman took out another book.
"Sorry, about that...,"
"NO NO IT'S OKAY!" the boys exclaimed, "We like the old one!"
Professor Banner said something under his breath and then displayed to the class the Alchemy textbook. "What Syrus?" he asked, acknowleging, Syrus' raised hand.
"Professor Banner, why was there a random bleeping sound in the background after you said 'holy'?" asked Syrus.
"Because, Mr. Truesdale, I said a word that was not approriate and since this is children's television show being aired in America, the programmers blocked it out, now if we were in Japan..." but Banner was cut off when there was a knock at the door. He sighed and walked to the door and there stood Chancellor Shepard.
"Well, hello Lyman! I thought I heard someone yelling. Is everything alright?" he asked.
"Oh yes, we are just mine. These students are learning so much...no, no, there's certainly no problem at all!" Banner said putting on his fake smile that you usually see him wearing.
"Okay! I have to confront one of our new students, Blaire, he "shot the birdie" at Crowler. See ya later!"
"Good-bye Chancellor! Remember, Jesus loves you!" Banner said cheerfully as Shepard left.
"Professor Banner, what's shot the birdie mean?" asked Syrus again.
"Nothing, Syrus, you can ask your brother later." said Banner. "Now continuing with the introduction to our textbook, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah..." his voice faded with a bunch of "blah's" as Syrus and Zane began their conversation.
"So what is it Zane?" whispered Syrus.
"Something you shouldn't know!" said Zane flicking Syrus in the head.
"Please tell me!" Syrus begged.
"Shut up!" Zane hissed. Banner's voice was still going "blah, blah, blah..."
"Tell me what it is! Please or I'll show everyone the forbidden page!" Syrus threatened slowly removing his science book from his backpack.
"You better not or I'll have my Cyber End Dragon slice you up until the contents of your abdomen are spewing on the floor!" said Zane clenching his fist.
"Come oooon!" Syrus said. "Or I'll start crying!" He began to screw up his face and whimpering.
"Ask Chazz, he's the smart one, I'm just the King." said Zane jabbing his finger in Chazz's direction.
"Hey Chazz, what does it mean to "shoot the birdie?" asked Syrus.
"Why would you ask me that? Do I look like Zane to you?" asked Chazz.
"No, but my mom says your cute." said Syrus.
"Oookaaay...,"
"Just tell me!"
"Why?"
"Cuz, Zane says so."
"And is Zane the boss of me?"
"No, but he's the king." said Syrus.
"Okay, holding up your hand." said Chazz. Syrus did so. "Now put all your fingers down except the middle one."
"Like this!" Syrus said loudly.
"Sssh!" Zane hissed.
"You've got it, Syrus, now keep it in that postition for right now." said Chazz he chuckled evily. Chazz quickly raised his hand. "PROFESSOR! PROFESSOR! SYRUS DID 'THE FINGER' AT ME!" The blah's ceased immediatly.
"Syrus!" Professor Banner exclaimed.
"What? What? What did I do? What did I do?" Syrus asked.
"Here we go...," said Chumley.
"Syrus! Since I'm too lazy to take you to the Chacellor's office now, I'm going to threaten you with 16 hours of detention!" said Banner.
"I didn't know Chazz was a birdie!" Syrus sobbed.
"JUST SHUT UP!" Banner and the rest of the class demanded.
After class...
Syrus was walking out of the classroom, softly sobbing. "I hate your living guts Zane!"
"What did I do?" demanded Zane.
"Cuz'..." said Syrus. "I wouldn't have asked Chazz if it weren't for you!"
"Oh so it was MY fault that YOU asked Chazz what it was?" asked Zane.
"Yeah! That's what I'm saying!" Syrus said angrily wiping tears away.
"Well don't CRY about it! You look like a wimpy baby!" said Syrus.
"I AM NOT!" said Syrus.
"Fine."
"Fine."
"FINE!"
"FINE!"
"STOP SAYING FINE!"
"Fine!" Zane said. "What is UP with you? Are you on crack or something?"
"What's crack?" asked Syrus.
"Go ask Chazz!" Zane yelled and walked away grumbling.
"Okey dokey!" Syrus said.