Remedies for Loneliness

We appeared on the edge of a sweeping lawn to the front of what was Lucius' home. I looked at it in awe; it was far grander than my own manor. I gasped in delight and turned to Lucius who had a smile on his face, pleased by my reaction.

"Lucius! Your home is absolutely remark-" my raving about his house was cut short by Lucius who had placed his lips firmly on mine in passionate kiss. My hands crept up his shoulders and entangled with his hair as I deepened the kiss. I loved his kisses and this was one of the most sensuous yet. As his hands moved down my back, onto my hips and pushed me closer to him, a thought surfaced in my foggy mind. What happened to 'give it time' Blair? Do not let him think you are this easy to manipulate. I pulled back roughly from Lucius, pulling his hair with me,

"Ouch! Blair, what is the matter? Did I do something wrong?" he was confused and slightly agitated at me for breaking that intense kiss.

I was frustrated that I couldn't get my feelings in line; I rubbed my forehead feverishly and looked tiredly at Lucius.

"Oh no, no, no! It is not you Lucius. I – um – I need to think for a bit. Alone." I winced apologetically at him.

He reached out and pulled me into a tight hug,

"Blair, my dear, take all the time you need. Explore the grounds if you will, the air here is good for clearing thoughts." He said in a chilling whisper which brushed against my ear, enticing shivers up my spine.

"Thank you." I mumbled into his velvet cloak, I stepped away giving him a weak smile and walked off up the sweeping lawns to sit under a wide birch tree while Lucius strode up into his home, wondering what was still bothering me.

The cool breeze of the night startled me awake as I felt the small hands of a house elf shake me,

"Miss, you must be getting up. Master Malfoy wants you to sleep inside not under a tree! Miss please be getting up!" I put out a hand to stop her from shaking me further,

"I am up; I did not mean to fall asleep. I was lost in thought." I winced as I stood up; my back was stiff from sleeping on the hard ground. My mind flew back to what I was pondering before I fell asleep, as the house- elf led me up the grounds to the house. The house was bathed in a pale glow which emanated from the silvery moon that rose above the tree tops. In my thoughts I was conflicted with the idea of what Voldemort has asked of me and my feelings for Lucius, I did not want to hurt him. Before I would further anything in our relationship, I needed to know what he thought of me and where we stand. I was not going to just use him for a child if he did not love me. But he doesn't love you a dark voice from the back of my head piped up He would have said so instead he stopped himself. That thought hit me hard, for it was true. It was only a matter of time before he came to say he wanted nothing to do with me. I doubted his apology was that sincere.

I shook my head morosely, as I bumped into the house-elf who has stopped suddenly.

"Here Miss, this is the room Master Malfoy said you are to sleep in." she led me in the room and waited until I sat down, "Goodnight, Miss Blair. Call Crinky if you need anything." Crinky disappeared in a puff of smoke after I nodded my acknowledgement. I quickly dressed for bed in a slight midnight black slip, I stared fixed on nothing in particular for half an hour before another thought hit me What if he is too scared to say I love you and he was trying to cover his embarrassment? I jumped up from my chair and paced the room, running my hands continuously though my hair. When that attempt to clear my thoughts turned futile I collapsed back into the chair.

"I do not want to be alone tonight, I need…" I stopped myself from finishing that sentence, admitting out loud that I needed Lucius meant acknowledging my weakness for him and I was not ready to change that much.

"Crinky!" My call was responded to by a loud pop revealing the house-elf I was after.

"Yes Miss Blair? What can Crinky do for Miss?" Crinky leaned forward eagerly, awaiting her orders.

"Crinky, I was wondering… can you show me where Lucius' room is?"

"Certainly Miss, follow Crinky, Miss!" she squeaked as she grabbed my hand and pulled me towards Lucius' room stopping just outside his door, which was slightly ajar.

"Thanks, Crinky." I offered, in my haste to prepare my self for entering his room, I uncharacteristically showed kindness to a house-elf. Crinky's response was wide incredulous eyes and a loud pop marking her exit. Evidently, that pop was louder than expected because the next moment, the door was thrust open and a sleepy half-dressed Lucius stood there; his face a mixture of surprise and delight.

"B – Blair? What is the matter? Is there a reason why you are standing outside my door looking nervous?" he shot at me startling me out of my own shock of seeing Lucius half- dressed and hair tousled.

"Um-I- No, Lucius, I just love standing outside people's door's for the fun of it." I countered, covering my embarrassment and surprise.

"Oh, okay well- wait what?" he paused as my sarcastic remark sunk in; he opened the door wider and gestured inwards, "Come in Blair." I stepped past him into the room as an arrogant smirk emerged on his face. I stood awkwardly at the side of the bed as Lucius sat down.

"I-I'm sorry Lucius, I did not mean to wake you. I will leave." I turned to walk out the door; I felt a strong hand clasp my wrist,

'Wait, Blair, it is okay. What is the matter?" He ran his hands up and down my arms effectively warming me better than any heating charm. A mixture from the cold and his touch caused me to shiver.

"Oh, Blair, you are freezing, here." He took off his emerald green dressing gown and placed it over my scantily clad shoulders. I hugged it around my arms, breathing in his spicy scent.

"Thank you…" I took a deep breath and continued, "I –um I did not want to be alone tonight." I looked up into Lucius' avid grey eyes and felt my breath catch in my throat.

Lucius looked intently at me for a moment before casually offering,

"Well, you are more than welcome to stay with me tonight, Blair. If nothing else but to stop you from feeling lonely." He tried to appear nonchalant but the apprehension showed in his eyes. I decided that regardless of whether or not Lucius was in love with me, I would take advantage of every comfort he did offer.

"That would… be nice… thanks." I replied, rushing into his arms hugging him tightly around his midsection. A full minute passed before I realised that I had been pressing my face against his bare chest. I drew back, my face flushed with embarrassment. I looked into his eyes, surprised to find amusement glittering there.

"Come, Blair, let us go to sleep." He took my arm and pulled back the sheets, allowing me to climb in first. After ten minutes of lying side by side, I moved closer into Lucius snuggling into his chest. All traces of my previous embarrassment disappeared as I fell asleep in his arms, safely ensconced in the warm embrace.

Lucius watched me as I fell asleep in his arms. He lay there absentmindedly stroking my hair and thinking about the pain he had caused me that day. He deeply regretted making that rash decision and hoped I had forgiven him. He admonished himself for not telling me how he felt. His musings, about the day, were interrupted by a soft moan emitted from me at his side. Lucius looked curiously down at me to see what was wrong.

"…child… love him… don't want to hurt him…" I mumbled in my sleep, much to the surprise of Lucius. He pulled me closer, allowing me to relax. The prospect of having a child is still hurting her, wondered Lucius incredulously, raising an eyebrow. That's it, he told himself, she needs to know that I will be there for her…and that I love her. Lucius nodded to himself and as he rested his head on top of mine, he slowly drifted off to sleep; the stream of moonlight that drifted in from the bedroom window illuminated the small smile that had formed on his face.

I stirred gently as the morning's first rays swept across my face, I yawned slightly and stretched, however the path of my arm was blocked by something hard.

"Merlin!" yelped Lucius, "I can think of a thousand better ways to wake me up!"

I sat up quickly facing him,

"I am sorry, Lucius! I forgot where I was for a moment." I smiled sheepishly.

"Have a good sleep then?" he asked, smirking suggestively.

I nodded slowly before answering,

'Why, yes, that was possibly the best night of sleep I have had in years."

Unable to control my impulses, I leaned forward to kiss him, climbing on top of him for better access. Lucius raised his eyebrows as I deepened the kiss, but any surprise at my positioning was forgotten as he responded to the kiss with as much fervour and passion as which I initiated it with. I was lost in his kiss, the desire and lust he stirred up within me was almost unbearable. His hands were moving slowly up my thigh when we were startled by a loud knock on the door, he sat up straight causing me to slip off to his side. "Master, breakfast is ready sir! Make sure Miss Blair comes too!" Crinky squeaked through the door, the house-elf seemed utterly unperturbed by the fact that I had moved from my room to his overnight.

"We will be there shortly!" snapped Lucius before turning back to me, "Now where were we?" he asked as his hand reached for my leg again. I gripped his wrist before he could move any further.

"I for one am in need of a good breakfast, so let's go." I laughed at the look of disappointment on his face as I slipped off the bed putting on Lucius' dressing gown and made my way down stairs for breakfast, leaving Lucius to scramble out of bed after me. As I walked down, I bit my lip with worry, was he only doing that out of guilt or not? This was the question that was looping its way around my head. I thought apprehensively what would have happened had Crinky not interrupted. I let my emotions run me again. I silently cursed myself, I was fast losing control.