Cœur de Lion
By Katie
Chapter 14 The King's Tent
"B'Elanna, I want you to stay in Sickbay," Chakotay said, after he'd nodded at Tom in an appreciating manner. His concern about the half-Klingon woman was almost boundless. He'd have
already lost her for several times, both back in Maquis-times and
here in the Delta Quadrant, but losing her now seemed almost
unbearable to him. Maybe he was being selfish and didn't want tolose her because he needed a friend in the days and weeks to come.
A difficult time was awaiting the First Officer of the Voyager, not
only in terms of having to negotiate with the Hirogen, but also in terms of finding a resolution for his relationship with his Captain.
During the simulation they had become lovers, his wildest dream had become true at a most unsuitable time. First of all had
he—they—been brainwashed by an alien device so that he wasn't
aware of it, at least not as Chakotay. Then this had happened at a
point of time where he'd come to finally accept the fact that
Kathryn and him were sharing a deep friendship, and were not
lovers as he'd once hoped them to be. He'd finally come to peace
with himself and with his relationship with Kathryn when the
Hirogen had taken over Voyager. They had not only half destroyed
their ship, they had also destroyed their lives, or if not seen that
drastically, had caused major changes in them.
Take Tom and B'Elanna. They were going to be parents
because of some sick idea of the Hirogen. They had been raped,
and to top it all they weren't allowed to see their child grow up to
become as fine an adult as they had become. But at least did they have the chance to love this child. But was this really a blessing?
Losing a child was the most horrible thing that could happen to parents. There was no doubt that Tom and B'Elanna were going to
love the child, even if it didn't seem so now.
And what about Kathryn and himself? By letting their
characters become lovers, the Hirogen had put the entire command
team into jeopardy. But then the Hirogen hadn't planned on ever
letting the command team run the ship together again. How would
Kathryn react once she realized what had happened between
Catherine Leroux and Frank Miller? Certainly she would make
herself believe that none such thing had ever happened, she would
deny it and make herself forget about it. But with it, she would
leave both of them restless and hurt. He would give it a try, it had
worked in their Holodeck reality after all, and none of their fellow
crewmembers had objected to the relationship between the leader of the Maquis and the American spy.
B'Elanna looked at Chakotay askance. "Why would I stay
here in Sickbay when we need everyone to get the ship up and
running again?" Chakotay almost lost it again. It was unbelievable how
heavy the burden of command was weighing on his shoulders. It
was all he could do to keep calm with the help of his hands
hanging curled into tight fists next to his body. His knuckles were
white with barely contained rage. "B'Elanna, you are very
pregnant. Do you think you can accomplish anything by crawling
through narrow Jeffries tubes with that belly of yours?"
Tom and B'Elanna were taken aback by Chakotay's
bluntness. Neither of them had ever seen him like this. "I think the
Commander is right, Miss Torres," Tuvok chimed in. "If you want
to help, then please stay here and give your orders from here. From
what I understand your pregnancy and delivery might be risky, so
it would be wise to stay in Sickbay to get quick help in case
something happens."
B'Elanna looked at the dark Vulcan and found that he was right. She was getting tired quickly now, and she didn't want to leave Tom, not now. "Okay, I'll stay here."
Chakotay, who had lowered his head after his fit of rage,
was pinching the base of his crooked nose yet again. Eventually, he
raised his head and said: "I'm sorry I'm being so rude. I don't
mean it."
"Of course you don't, Commander," the Doctor said,
joining them. "This is very difficult for all of us. Maybe you should
all take a good night's sleep."
"Easier said than done, Doc," Tom commented. "What
about a cup of coffee for all of us?"
"Perhaps that'll wake the Captain," Chakotay thought
aloud. His need for her being by his side right now was so great
that he didn't care what the others were thinking. Having been
trapped in World War II together, they knew about Kathryn and
him anyway.
"That won't wake the Captain, I'm afraid," the Doctor
said. Just as the mood had lightened up a bit, he had to dampen it
again. He noticed the alarmed expression in the Dorvanian's dark
eyes. "Mr Paris and I have deemed it necessary—from a medical
point of view—to put Captain Janeway into an artificial coma. The
injuries she has suffered in the various simulations were severe,
and her body badly needs the time to heal."
=/\=
Seven went directly to the Bridge after she'd brought Janeway to Sickbay. When the Doctor had told her to leave him
and Lieutenant Paris alone, she had felt the strong urge to disobey and stay. She knew that she couldn't have done anything to help,
and yet did Seven have the feeling that her presence would have helped Janeway in *some* way. But Seven had then decided that
she would be of more help if she went to the Bridge to help Harry
shut down the Holodecks. They hadn't been able to even freeze the
programs yet, and since the Holodecks were—because of their
extreme enhancing by the Hirogen—consuming a lot of their
precious energy, it was their primary goal to hack into the Hirogen
codes and put an end to World War II, the crusades and some
Klingon war.
The former Borg trying to find her human self again found the ride in the turbolift longer than usual. She knew that time was always passing at the same rate, it didn't pass quickly or slowly. This was just an impression Humans were having based on their
perception, on their opinions and emotions. Something that was—according to Tuvok—completely illogical. And she didn't want to
be illogical, not now that Captain Janeway needed her so badly.
But Captain Janeway wouldn't leave her mind, regardless of what Seven was trying. It was as though she was still holding
Janeway's broken body in her arms, because she was remembering
the weight of her body in her arms so vividly. Janeway had been so
helpless, something that Seven couldn't quite understand. To her,
the Captain was never helpless, she was the one who was in
charge, who was in control, who was there for anyone who needed
her. She was the Captain. But when she'd held her in the damaged
corridor, she'd been so still, and there'd been so much blood all over her, and she had been so pale. Seven then realized how much even she depended on her strength. Whenever there was something she didn't quite
understand, there was always the Captain she could go for help to. And she would always try to explain anything to her, and she
would try to understand, try to find out where the Borg had left just
a little bit of her humanity alive. Seven herself knew that there
were those bits, but she was reluctant to open herself to them,
because they often entailed weakness, fallibility and loss of
control—things Seven didn't want to experience. But if she wanted
to become human, or at least as human as possible for her, then she
had to give in to them. The taking of risks was something she
knew, but only on a physical basis.
Captain Janeway had told her often, though, that with
friends by one's side this kind of taking risks wasn't that difficult,
or painful, or whatever it was that one dreaded. And she had
proven a good friend often enough, and more than once had Seven rejected her friend instead of letting her in, had she disobeyed her direct orders instead of trusting her, instead of thanking her for
what she'd done for her, or at least letting her know that she wasn't angry. Trust was something that was still difficult for Seven to
understand. But maybe this was the key to finding a bit of Annika
within her, a bit of the person she'd been before the Borg had
assimilated her. She had trusted Harry Kim in the King's tent, hadn't she? And everything had worked out well, so maybe it was
worth taking a risk to trust in the young man—and to trust more in
the Captain when she was fine again.
The doors of the turbolift finally hissed open and let her
enter the Bridge. There wasn't much damage here, except for the
additional devices the Hirogen had installed in the engineering
section. From what Seven could see at first glance she was sure
that this was nothing that couldn't be repaired easily. The Bridge
was manned with the most important crew only, mainly by junior crew since the command team was unavailable at the time being. Ops, though, was filled with a member of the senior crew, Ensign
Kim.
When Seven spotted the young man immersed in his work at his console, she realized that it had been the prospect of meeting
him on the Bridge that had let her leave Sickbay in the end. She
had trusted him in the King's tent, and he hadn't disappointed her.
On the contrary, he had even shown her something wonderful.
Harry Kim had shown her that a kiss was more than just two people pressing their mouths together and depriving each other
of oxygen. There had been a lot more in the kiss he'd given her in
the King's tent than when she'd tried it out in the Jeffries tube
several weeks earlier. Harry had caught her completely off guard
when he'd gathered her in his embrace and had started to kiss her.
If it hadn't been for her surprise, she wouldn't have ever let him
kiss her. But looked at it now, she didn't find any wrong in his
action. She even remembered the kiss, and she remembered the
funny feeling that had warmed her abdomen and her crotch. She didn't remember closing her eyes, but she must have closed them
because she hadn't seen the Hirogen stand in the entrance of the tent. This funny feeling in her abdomen and the warmth that had
spread from there down to her crotch and even her feet were
haunting her. She was certain of its cause, namely Harry's tongue
gently entering her mouth and caressing it. When she had tried to imitate him, he had withdrawn his tongue from her mouth to let her try for herself. What had struck her first was the taste of his saliva,
and the wetness. It hadn't been like anything she'd experienced
before, nothing she'd tried had tasted like him.
"Mr Kim?" she asked to draw his attention to her. She'd
been told repeatedly that this was the way to engage a conversation
in a case like this.
Harry looked up from his work. At first he looked neutral,
but then concern took over. "Seven. How is the Captain?" He
knew, of course, about the Hirogen's attack and had been trying to
distract himself from his concern about the Captain with work. "The Doctor and Lieutenant Paris are treating her. She was still alive when I left Sickbay," Seven reported dutifully, albeit
anxious to talk to the Ensign about her reflections.
"Oh," Harry made. Seven's optimism was as refreshing as
always. "I'm sure she'll make it, she's made of sterner stuff than
one would think." "She ..." Seven began, but stopped when she recognized
the idiom in Harry's comment for what it was, just an idiom. "Yes,
I think so. I must talk to you, Ensign."
Harry didn't quite know what to make of Seven's
intention, but something in her eyes told him that she was very
anxious to talk to him. "Then I must listen."
"Humor is not the support I require, Ensign," Seven
rebuffed him, but it sounded strangely sad.
"I'm sorry, Seven. Go ahead, I *will* listen," he
apologized. Then he added quickly: "And I'd be glad if I could
help you."
Some time later—Harry didn't know how much time had passed since Seven had asked him to listen to him, actually it
didn't really interest him either—Harry was sitting on the floor behind his console, holding Seven in his arms. She hadn't cried
when she'd told him everything that had kept her preoccupied.
Because her feelings were so new to her that she'd been too
fascinated by them and too interested in finding out about them as
though she could have cried. However, the support and the comfort Harry's embrace
was offering her felt good, and for the first time in her life on
Voyager did Seven feel not alone. And—as strange as it was—it
felt so good to talk about herself with someone else than Captain
Janeway. Not that she didn't like talking with the Captain, Seven
was just discovering that she needed friends next to the Captain as
well if she wanted to be not only accepted by the crew, but also
treated as an equal—at least in some regards. This was a hard thing
to do, and trust was an essential part to it.
"Harry?" Seven asked, turning her head to look up at him. Her head had been resting against his shoulder, they had been quiet
to think their own thoughts. "Yes?" "When I told you about the kiss," she began. "Oh," Harry made, and felt his face warming when he
remembered the description of what she'd felt when they'd kissed
in the King's tent. It touched something deep within him, and it
had let him feel the first signs of arousal, but he had forced himself
to forget about it successfully.
"I did not tell you that I found it pleasant and comforting.
Is that the right way ..." her voice trailed off. For once she wasn't
afraid of admitting her insecurity.
Harry smiled. "Absolutely, yes." It was incredible how she
managed to touch him so deep inside. For the first time since
they'd gotten stranded in this goddamned quadrant did he stop
thinking about Libby every second. He had let Seven into his life
and into his heart, and he didn't have a bad conscience because of
the woman he'd left behind. Life had to go on, Libby sure would want the same for him, and for herself as well. Of that he was certain.
"Will you make me feel like this again?" Seven asked. "Please?" Harry's head swam, but before he even felt the shivers
running down his spine he found himself cupping Seven's cheek
with his hand. He pulled her gently closer to him, and when their lips met, he felt her arms going around his back and neck. She had
let him embrace her earlier, but she hadn't answered the hug. Now
she did, and when their lips parted to let the other in, they became
completely oblivious of everything around them.
This time their kiss deepened, for it was a genuine kiss.
They were kissing because they wanted it, not because it was
forced upon them by each other or by some alien power, or out of
necessity, like in the King's tent.
And this time, neither of them had to conceal their arousal.
They just had to keep it in check, for they were still on the Bridge
after all, with quite an audience.
=/\=
Only few people got the rest they needed so badly this very night. Engineering was as busy as ever, as were the Mess Hall and
Sickbay. Neelix had—after he'd left the kitchen of the *Cœur de
Lion*—recaptured his realm and with the help of several hungry
crewmembers had produced a meal as if by magic. Since they were
running on the additional energy units of the Hirogen, Neelix
hadn't hesitated for a single second to use them to feed the
replicators with them, there wasn't that much about his magic.
Actually, the crew were happy about that since they hadn't had
anything palatable to eat in almost three weeks. Compared to the
Hirogen's cuisine, they felt like God in France when Neelix was in
his element.
In Sickbay the Doctor—with the help of Sam Wildman and
a few volunteers—was busy treating the crew from the Holodecks.
They had to be examined for any injuries and the neural interfaces
had to be removed. Many of them were very concerned about the
fact that Borg nanoprobes were in their system, but the Doctor
quickly managed to convince them that they had to fear nothing. He'd reprogrammed the nanoprobes in a way that after
deactivating the neural interfaces they clung to them. In that way
he could remove the interfaces together with the nanoprobes
without setting the health of his patients at risk.
Naomi Wildman was one of the few lucky who got some rest, but despite everything that had happened—maybe even
because of that—she had trouble getting to sleep. Even Neelix, who had been summoned by Naomi's babysitter, and his
storytelling about the Great Tree weren't able to help her. The
Talaxian soon found the reason for her being wide awake. The
little girl didn't have an explanation to anything that had happened
to her on the Holodeck, nor what had happened before or after.
Those questions were haunting her, of course, and Neelix
understood her completely, but he didn't have any idea how to help
her.
He himself remembered the goings-on on the Holodeck
vividly. If it hadn't been for the assassination of Seven, he
wouldn't have given this another thought, because he remembered
the simulation to be peaceful. He'd heard rumors, of course, that
the World War II scenario hadn't been the only scenario the
Hirogen had run, but he didn't know whether they were true,
because he had no memories other than the *Cœur de Lion*. Those rumors made sense, because they'd been trapped on their own ship
for more than three weeks—at least did the Doctor say so. Neelix
for his part had the memories and the experiences of Jean, which
spanned more than the alleged three weeks, a whole lifetime even.
But how much did Naomi know? And how much had the
events touched and influenced her? He remembered the deep state
of shock she'd fallen into on having witnessed the Hirogen's shooting Seven. Neelix could never forgive himself if his
goddaughter had been traumatized by those alien armadillo-
skinned Hunters.
So there he was sitting on the half-Ktarian girl's bed,
toying absentmindedly with that unidentifiable furry stuffed animal
she loved so much. She'd named it Larx, after a hero of Rinax'
early history. Neelix desperately tried to find a way to address the
matter as discretely as possible. Part of it was a smile, but the
usually cheerful Talaxian failed miserable at his attempt.
"What is it, Uncle Neelix?" Naomi wanted to know when she recognized his misery. She sat up and petted the dark shaggy
fur of whatever kind of animal Larx was.
"You know, sweetheart," Neelix began, this time
succeeding in looking cheerful, "maybe you should begin the
storytelling tonight. I'll add anything that's missing. How does that
sound?"
For a second or so Neelix had the impression as though
Naomi had bought his white lie. But being the smart girl she was,
she couldn't help herself. Her curiosity got the better of her. "But
Uncle Neelix, this is not a story, this is what really happened. I
can't remember anything that happened before the Captain hugged
me. But there must have been something, because I can't
remember how I got on the Holodeck in the first place."
It was all Neelix could do then to suppress a joyful cry.
Instead he let out the breath he hadn't been aware he was holding.
So Naomi had in some way been spared remembering everything
that had happened. "What is the last thing you remember,
sweetheart?"
"Well, Momma asked me to go to Sickbay with her. The Doctor wanted to give me some medicine there. But I wasn't ill at all," Naomi quickly added as though she had to defend herself. It
wasn't her fault, she hadn't wanted to join the grown-ups on the
Holodeck.
"Yes, I know. The Doctor and your mother were just
worried that you might get ill," Neelix explained. He thanked his
Talaxian Gods for the Hirogen's having spared the child the worst
part of the simulation. The memories Naomi was sharing with him right now must stem from the day when the Hirogen had seized
Voyager. Then there was a gap in her memory—Neelix presumed
that the Doctor had put her to sleep—until the moment the Captain
had hugged her in the nightclub, which had happened after the
incident in the woods.
"That's nice," Naomi decided, her face brightening. They
sat in silence for a while, both of them lost in their own thoughts.
"Uncle Neelix?"
"Yes, little one?" Neelix looked up from his intense petting
Larx.
"I was wondering why the engineer woman was so fat all of a sudden. Is this Uncle Tom's fault?" she asked, looking very
serious and really interested. Neelix knew that the girl didn't like
B'Elanna, so it took him by surprise that she showed genuine
interest in her well-being. On the other hand did it bring the
Talaxian into a difficult situation. The girl wasn't old enough yet to
know about where the babies come from, or at least did he not
know how much she already knew. Neelix chewed nervously on
his lower lip. "Well, in a way he is, yes," he eventually managed to say,
only to realize a moment later that this was definitely something he
hadn't wanted to tell her. But Naomi had already another question
she wanted answered.
"Is there a baby inside her belly?" she inquired.
Neelix hesitated. "Yes. But you know, there isn't really a baby inside her."
"How so?" The poor girl was utterly confused by now.
"It's just a holographic baby. It's part of the game we were playing," Neelix tried to explain, as patient as ever. For a while
Naomi seemed satisfied with his explanation. But she was a very
curious and thirsty for knowledge little girl, her mind never really
unoccupied. "But why would ..." Neelix then decided that she definitely needed some rest. "Naomi, it was a game, that's all there is to it."
"But how and why did I join you? I can't remember a
single thing between going to Doc and hugging the Captain!"
Naomi protested. She somehow sensed that there was more to the
story than her godfather cared to tell her. Why was it that the
grown-ups never cared to tell her the whole story?
"I'll tell you tomorrow, okay? I'm really very tired now.
And you should try to get some sleep as well," Neelix decided. He
was well aware of the fact that there was no way for him to dodge the thirst for knowledge of the half-Ktarian girl. "Promise?" Naomi asked suspiciously.
"Promise," Neelix said solemnly and raised his freckled hand. "Now try to get some sleep, will you?"
"Okay." She lay back well-behaved, taking Larx with her. Neelix tugged both of them in and kissed her cheek before bidding
her good night and turning the lights down.
=/\=
Before Chakotay left Sickbay to get at least a few hours'
rest, he stopped by by Kathryn's bed. It had certainly been a good
thing to put her into an artificial coma. Knowing her, the Doctor
had deemed it the only means to make sure that she recuperated
properly. Chakotay couldn't but approve of this decision, even if it
meant that he had to take over responsibility for the negotiations
with the Hirogen. He would rather Kathryn, Tuvok and he could
have negotiated together. Kathryn had an insight he sometimes
lacked, and vice versa. Chakotay was afraid that this time his
strong emotions would harm his discernment. But this wasn't
because Kathryn and he had been lovers on the Holodeck. The
entire crew had been affected by the sick and cruel game of the
Hirogen, so no one could blame him for feeling the way he did.
The Dorvanian wondered how Kathryn managed to keep calm at times like this. On the other hand did he know that Kathryn
sometimes drew her calm and strength from his presence. It was
this mutuality in their relationship that made it so special—among
other things. There were a lot of other little things that made their
friendship precious, and maybe even more than just a friendship.
Maybe the events of the past twenty days would serve as a
catalyst that turned Kathryn and him into lovers. If not, Chakotay
would of course accept that and try to be content with their
friendship. He'd managed to get as far as this by time the Hirogen
had seized Voyager. On the other hand did he know what he was
missing, now that he'd made love to Kathryn, and she to him.
Maybe she'd realize that, too. Chakotay prayed to the Spirits of his
ancestors that they make her realize that.
He looked at his lover. She was still pale, but she was on
the way of recovery. Her hair was still curled à la mode of the
1940s, albeit ruffled up. Her left hand was resting on her chest and Chakotay noticed the simple golden wedding ring on her finger
almost instantly. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth when
he realized that he too was still wearing the ring Catherine had
given him back in Sainte Claire. He pulled it off his finger and read
what was engraved on the inside: Catherine 20 Juin 1935.
Knowing that the same date but Maurice's name was engraved in
her ring, he didn't remove it from her finger. Maybe it would help
her make the right decision. Chakotay also thanked in silence
whomever it was that had left the ring on her finger—either the
Doctor or Tom.
With one hand Chakotay covered her hand, brushing his
thumb over the golden ring as he did so. With his other hand he
cupped the top of her head, lowering himself so that his lips almost
touched her left ear. "Get well soon, Kathryn. I love you." Then he
kissed her gently on the cheek. He brushed across her forehead
with his thumb and gave her small hand a squeeze.
When he turned to leave he found the Doctor standing next to him. "I'm sure she has heard you, Commander," the hologram
offered. He knew that the crew found the certainty that people in a
coma could hear them comforting.
"Yes, I hope so. Good night, Doctor. Take good care of our
ladies," Chakotay smiled wearily.
To be continued ...
By Katie
Chapter 14 The King's Tent
"B'Elanna, I want you to stay in Sickbay," Chakotay said, after he'd nodded at Tom in an appreciating manner. His concern about the half-Klingon woman was almost boundless. He'd have
already lost her for several times, both back in Maquis-times and
here in the Delta Quadrant, but losing her now seemed almost
unbearable to him. Maybe he was being selfish and didn't want tolose her because he needed a friend in the days and weeks to come.
A difficult time was awaiting the First Officer of the Voyager, not
only in terms of having to negotiate with the Hirogen, but also in terms of finding a resolution for his relationship with his Captain.
During the simulation they had become lovers, his wildest dream had become true at a most unsuitable time. First of all had
he—they—been brainwashed by an alien device so that he wasn't
aware of it, at least not as Chakotay. Then this had happened at a
point of time where he'd come to finally accept the fact that
Kathryn and him were sharing a deep friendship, and were not
lovers as he'd once hoped them to be. He'd finally come to peace
with himself and with his relationship with Kathryn when the
Hirogen had taken over Voyager. They had not only half destroyed
their ship, they had also destroyed their lives, or if not seen that
drastically, had caused major changes in them.
Take Tom and B'Elanna. They were going to be parents
because of some sick idea of the Hirogen. They had been raped,
and to top it all they weren't allowed to see their child grow up to
become as fine an adult as they had become. But at least did they have the chance to love this child. But was this really a blessing?
Losing a child was the most horrible thing that could happen to parents. There was no doubt that Tom and B'Elanna were going to
love the child, even if it didn't seem so now.
And what about Kathryn and himself? By letting their
characters become lovers, the Hirogen had put the entire command
team into jeopardy. But then the Hirogen hadn't planned on ever
letting the command team run the ship together again. How would
Kathryn react once she realized what had happened between
Catherine Leroux and Frank Miller? Certainly she would make
herself believe that none such thing had ever happened, she would
deny it and make herself forget about it. But with it, she would
leave both of them restless and hurt. He would give it a try, it had
worked in their Holodeck reality after all, and none of their fellow
crewmembers had objected to the relationship between the leader of the Maquis and the American spy.
B'Elanna looked at Chakotay askance. "Why would I stay
here in Sickbay when we need everyone to get the ship up and
running again?" Chakotay almost lost it again. It was unbelievable how
heavy the burden of command was weighing on his shoulders. It
was all he could do to keep calm with the help of his hands
hanging curled into tight fists next to his body. His knuckles were
white with barely contained rage. "B'Elanna, you are very
pregnant. Do you think you can accomplish anything by crawling
through narrow Jeffries tubes with that belly of yours?"
Tom and B'Elanna were taken aback by Chakotay's
bluntness. Neither of them had ever seen him like this. "I think the
Commander is right, Miss Torres," Tuvok chimed in. "If you want
to help, then please stay here and give your orders from here. From
what I understand your pregnancy and delivery might be risky, so
it would be wise to stay in Sickbay to get quick help in case
something happens."
B'Elanna looked at the dark Vulcan and found that he was right. She was getting tired quickly now, and she didn't want to leave Tom, not now. "Okay, I'll stay here."
Chakotay, who had lowered his head after his fit of rage,
was pinching the base of his crooked nose yet again. Eventually, he
raised his head and said: "I'm sorry I'm being so rude. I don't
mean it."
"Of course you don't, Commander," the Doctor said,
joining them. "This is very difficult for all of us. Maybe you should
all take a good night's sleep."
"Easier said than done, Doc," Tom commented. "What
about a cup of coffee for all of us?"
"Perhaps that'll wake the Captain," Chakotay thought
aloud. His need for her being by his side right now was so great
that he didn't care what the others were thinking. Having been
trapped in World War II together, they knew about Kathryn and
him anyway.
"That won't wake the Captain, I'm afraid," the Doctor
said. Just as the mood had lightened up a bit, he had to dampen it
again. He noticed the alarmed expression in the Dorvanian's dark
eyes. "Mr Paris and I have deemed it necessary—from a medical
point of view—to put Captain Janeway into an artificial coma. The
injuries she has suffered in the various simulations were severe,
and her body badly needs the time to heal."
=/\=
Seven went directly to the Bridge after she'd brought Janeway to Sickbay. When the Doctor had told her to leave him
and Lieutenant Paris alone, she had felt the strong urge to disobey and stay. She knew that she couldn't have done anything to help,
and yet did Seven have the feeling that her presence would have helped Janeway in *some* way. But Seven had then decided that
she would be of more help if she went to the Bridge to help Harry
shut down the Holodecks. They hadn't been able to even freeze the
programs yet, and since the Holodecks were—because of their
extreme enhancing by the Hirogen—consuming a lot of their
precious energy, it was their primary goal to hack into the Hirogen
codes and put an end to World War II, the crusades and some
Klingon war.
The former Borg trying to find her human self again found the ride in the turbolift longer than usual. She knew that time was always passing at the same rate, it didn't pass quickly or slowly. This was just an impression Humans were having based on their
perception, on their opinions and emotions. Something that was—according to Tuvok—completely illogical. And she didn't want to
be illogical, not now that Captain Janeway needed her so badly.
But Captain Janeway wouldn't leave her mind, regardless of what Seven was trying. It was as though she was still holding
Janeway's broken body in her arms, because she was remembering
the weight of her body in her arms so vividly. Janeway had been so
helpless, something that Seven couldn't quite understand. To her,
the Captain was never helpless, she was the one who was in
charge, who was in control, who was there for anyone who needed
her. She was the Captain. But when she'd held her in the damaged
corridor, she'd been so still, and there'd been so much blood all over her, and she had been so pale. Seven then realized how much even she depended on her strength. Whenever there was something she didn't quite
understand, there was always the Captain she could go for help to. And she would always try to explain anything to her, and she
would try to understand, try to find out where the Borg had left just
a little bit of her humanity alive. Seven herself knew that there
were those bits, but she was reluctant to open herself to them,
because they often entailed weakness, fallibility and loss of
control—things Seven didn't want to experience. But if she wanted
to become human, or at least as human as possible for her, then she
had to give in to them. The taking of risks was something she
knew, but only on a physical basis.
Captain Janeway had told her often, though, that with
friends by one's side this kind of taking risks wasn't that difficult,
or painful, or whatever it was that one dreaded. And she had
proven a good friend often enough, and more than once had Seven rejected her friend instead of letting her in, had she disobeyed her direct orders instead of trusting her, instead of thanking her for
what she'd done for her, or at least letting her know that she wasn't angry. Trust was something that was still difficult for Seven to
understand. But maybe this was the key to finding a bit of Annika
within her, a bit of the person she'd been before the Borg had
assimilated her. She had trusted Harry Kim in the King's tent, hadn't she? And everything had worked out well, so maybe it was
worth taking a risk to trust in the young man—and to trust more in
the Captain when she was fine again.
The doors of the turbolift finally hissed open and let her
enter the Bridge. There wasn't much damage here, except for the
additional devices the Hirogen had installed in the engineering
section. From what Seven could see at first glance she was sure
that this was nothing that couldn't be repaired easily. The Bridge
was manned with the most important crew only, mainly by junior crew since the command team was unavailable at the time being. Ops, though, was filled with a member of the senior crew, Ensign
Kim.
When Seven spotted the young man immersed in his work at his console, she realized that it had been the prospect of meeting
him on the Bridge that had let her leave Sickbay in the end. She
had trusted him in the King's tent, and he hadn't disappointed her.
On the contrary, he had even shown her something wonderful.
Harry Kim had shown her that a kiss was more than just two people pressing their mouths together and depriving each other
of oxygen. There had been a lot more in the kiss he'd given her in
the King's tent than when she'd tried it out in the Jeffries tube
several weeks earlier. Harry had caught her completely off guard
when he'd gathered her in his embrace and had started to kiss her.
If it hadn't been for her surprise, she wouldn't have ever let him
kiss her. But looked at it now, she didn't find any wrong in his
action. She even remembered the kiss, and she remembered the
funny feeling that had warmed her abdomen and her crotch. She didn't remember closing her eyes, but she must have closed them
because she hadn't seen the Hirogen stand in the entrance of the tent. This funny feeling in her abdomen and the warmth that had
spread from there down to her crotch and even her feet were
haunting her. She was certain of its cause, namely Harry's tongue
gently entering her mouth and caressing it. When she had tried to imitate him, he had withdrawn his tongue from her mouth to let her try for herself. What had struck her first was the taste of his saliva,
and the wetness. It hadn't been like anything she'd experienced
before, nothing she'd tried had tasted like him.
"Mr Kim?" she asked to draw his attention to her. She'd
been told repeatedly that this was the way to engage a conversation
in a case like this.
Harry looked up from his work. At first he looked neutral,
but then concern took over. "Seven. How is the Captain?" He
knew, of course, about the Hirogen's attack and had been trying to
distract himself from his concern about the Captain with work. "The Doctor and Lieutenant Paris are treating her. She was still alive when I left Sickbay," Seven reported dutifully, albeit
anxious to talk to the Ensign about her reflections.
"Oh," Harry made. Seven's optimism was as refreshing as
always. "I'm sure she'll make it, she's made of sterner stuff than
one would think." "She ..." Seven began, but stopped when she recognized
the idiom in Harry's comment for what it was, just an idiom. "Yes,
I think so. I must talk to you, Ensign."
Harry didn't quite know what to make of Seven's
intention, but something in her eyes told him that she was very
anxious to talk to him. "Then I must listen."
"Humor is not the support I require, Ensign," Seven
rebuffed him, but it sounded strangely sad.
"I'm sorry, Seven. Go ahead, I *will* listen," he
apologized. Then he added quickly: "And I'd be glad if I could
help you."
Some time later—Harry didn't know how much time had passed since Seven had asked him to listen to him, actually it
didn't really interest him either—Harry was sitting on the floor behind his console, holding Seven in his arms. She hadn't cried
when she'd told him everything that had kept her preoccupied.
Because her feelings were so new to her that she'd been too
fascinated by them and too interested in finding out about them as
though she could have cried. However, the support and the comfort Harry's embrace
was offering her felt good, and for the first time in her life on
Voyager did Seven feel not alone. And—as strange as it was—it
felt so good to talk about herself with someone else than Captain
Janeway. Not that she didn't like talking with the Captain, Seven
was just discovering that she needed friends next to the Captain as
well if she wanted to be not only accepted by the crew, but also
treated as an equal—at least in some regards. This was a hard thing
to do, and trust was an essential part to it.
"Harry?" Seven asked, turning her head to look up at him. Her head had been resting against his shoulder, they had been quiet
to think their own thoughts. "Yes?" "When I told you about the kiss," she began. "Oh," Harry made, and felt his face warming when he
remembered the description of what she'd felt when they'd kissed
in the King's tent. It touched something deep within him, and it
had let him feel the first signs of arousal, but he had forced himself
to forget about it successfully.
"I did not tell you that I found it pleasant and comforting.
Is that the right way ..." her voice trailed off. For once she wasn't
afraid of admitting her insecurity.
Harry smiled. "Absolutely, yes." It was incredible how she
managed to touch him so deep inside. For the first time since
they'd gotten stranded in this goddamned quadrant did he stop
thinking about Libby every second. He had let Seven into his life
and into his heart, and he didn't have a bad conscience because of
the woman he'd left behind. Life had to go on, Libby sure would want the same for him, and for herself as well. Of that he was certain.
"Will you make me feel like this again?" Seven asked. "Please?" Harry's head swam, but before he even felt the shivers
running down his spine he found himself cupping Seven's cheek
with his hand. He pulled her gently closer to him, and when their lips met, he felt her arms going around his back and neck. She had
let him embrace her earlier, but she hadn't answered the hug. Now
she did, and when their lips parted to let the other in, they became
completely oblivious of everything around them.
This time their kiss deepened, for it was a genuine kiss.
They were kissing because they wanted it, not because it was
forced upon them by each other or by some alien power, or out of
necessity, like in the King's tent.
And this time, neither of them had to conceal their arousal.
They just had to keep it in check, for they were still on the Bridge
after all, with quite an audience.
=/\=
Only few people got the rest they needed so badly this very night. Engineering was as busy as ever, as were the Mess Hall and
Sickbay. Neelix had—after he'd left the kitchen of the *Cœur de
Lion*—recaptured his realm and with the help of several hungry
crewmembers had produced a meal as if by magic. Since they were
running on the additional energy units of the Hirogen, Neelix
hadn't hesitated for a single second to use them to feed the
replicators with them, there wasn't that much about his magic.
Actually, the crew were happy about that since they hadn't had
anything palatable to eat in almost three weeks. Compared to the
Hirogen's cuisine, they felt like God in France when Neelix was in
his element.
In Sickbay the Doctor—with the help of Sam Wildman and
a few volunteers—was busy treating the crew from the Holodecks.
They had to be examined for any injuries and the neural interfaces
had to be removed. Many of them were very concerned about the
fact that Borg nanoprobes were in their system, but the Doctor
quickly managed to convince them that they had to fear nothing. He'd reprogrammed the nanoprobes in a way that after
deactivating the neural interfaces they clung to them. In that way
he could remove the interfaces together with the nanoprobes
without setting the health of his patients at risk.
Naomi Wildman was one of the few lucky who got some rest, but despite everything that had happened—maybe even
because of that—she had trouble getting to sleep. Even Neelix, who had been summoned by Naomi's babysitter, and his
storytelling about the Great Tree weren't able to help her. The
Talaxian soon found the reason for her being wide awake. The
little girl didn't have an explanation to anything that had happened
to her on the Holodeck, nor what had happened before or after.
Those questions were haunting her, of course, and Neelix
understood her completely, but he didn't have any idea how to help
her.
He himself remembered the goings-on on the Holodeck
vividly. If it hadn't been for the assassination of Seven, he
wouldn't have given this another thought, because he remembered
the simulation to be peaceful. He'd heard rumors, of course, that
the World War II scenario hadn't been the only scenario the
Hirogen had run, but he didn't know whether they were true,
because he had no memories other than the *Cœur de Lion*. Those rumors made sense, because they'd been trapped on their own ship
for more than three weeks—at least did the Doctor say so. Neelix
for his part had the memories and the experiences of Jean, which
spanned more than the alleged three weeks, a whole lifetime even.
But how much did Naomi know? And how much had the
events touched and influenced her? He remembered the deep state
of shock she'd fallen into on having witnessed the Hirogen's shooting Seven. Neelix could never forgive himself if his
goddaughter had been traumatized by those alien armadillo-
skinned Hunters.
So there he was sitting on the half-Ktarian girl's bed,
toying absentmindedly with that unidentifiable furry stuffed animal
she loved so much. She'd named it Larx, after a hero of Rinax'
early history. Neelix desperately tried to find a way to address the
matter as discretely as possible. Part of it was a smile, but the
usually cheerful Talaxian failed miserable at his attempt.
"What is it, Uncle Neelix?" Naomi wanted to know when she recognized his misery. She sat up and petted the dark shaggy
fur of whatever kind of animal Larx was.
"You know, sweetheart," Neelix began, this time
succeeding in looking cheerful, "maybe you should begin the
storytelling tonight. I'll add anything that's missing. How does that
sound?"
For a second or so Neelix had the impression as though
Naomi had bought his white lie. But being the smart girl she was,
she couldn't help herself. Her curiosity got the better of her. "But
Uncle Neelix, this is not a story, this is what really happened. I
can't remember anything that happened before the Captain hugged
me. But there must have been something, because I can't
remember how I got on the Holodeck in the first place."
It was all Neelix could do then to suppress a joyful cry.
Instead he let out the breath he hadn't been aware he was holding.
So Naomi had in some way been spared remembering everything
that had happened. "What is the last thing you remember,
sweetheart?"
"Well, Momma asked me to go to Sickbay with her. The Doctor wanted to give me some medicine there. But I wasn't ill at all," Naomi quickly added as though she had to defend herself. It
wasn't her fault, she hadn't wanted to join the grown-ups on the
Holodeck.
"Yes, I know. The Doctor and your mother were just
worried that you might get ill," Neelix explained. He thanked his
Talaxian Gods for the Hirogen's having spared the child the worst
part of the simulation. The memories Naomi was sharing with him right now must stem from the day when the Hirogen had seized
Voyager. Then there was a gap in her memory—Neelix presumed
that the Doctor had put her to sleep—until the moment the Captain
had hugged her in the nightclub, which had happened after the
incident in the woods.
"That's nice," Naomi decided, her face brightening. They
sat in silence for a while, both of them lost in their own thoughts.
"Uncle Neelix?"
"Yes, little one?" Neelix looked up from his intense petting
Larx.
"I was wondering why the engineer woman was so fat all of a sudden. Is this Uncle Tom's fault?" she asked, looking very
serious and really interested. Neelix knew that the girl didn't like
B'Elanna, so it took him by surprise that she showed genuine
interest in her well-being. On the other hand did it bring the
Talaxian into a difficult situation. The girl wasn't old enough yet to
know about where the babies come from, or at least did he not
know how much she already knew. Neelix chewed nervously on
his lower lip. "Well, in a way he is, yes," he eventually managed to say,
only to realize a moment later that this was definitely something he
hadn't wanted to tell her. But Naomi had already another question
she wanted answered.
"Is there a baby inside her belly?" she inquired.
Neelix hesitated. "Yes. But you know, there isn't really a baby inside her."
"How so?" The poor girl was utterly confused by now.
"It's just a holographic baby. It's part of the game we were playing," Neelix tried to explain, as patient as ever. For a while
Naomi seemed satisfied with his explanation. But she was a very
curious and thirsty for knowledge little girl, her mind never really
unoccupied. "But why would ..." Neelix then decided that she definitely needed some rest. "Naomi, it was a game, that's all there is to it."
"But how and why did I join you? I can't remember a
single thing between going to Doc and hugging the Captain!"
Naomi protested. She somehow sensed that there was more to the
story than her godfather cared to tell her. Why was it that the
grown-ups never cared to tell her the whole story?
"I'll tell you tomorrow, okay? I'm really very tired now.
And you should try to get some sleep as well," Neelix decided. He
was well aware of the fact that there was no way for him to dodge the thirst for knowledge of the half-Ktarian girl. "Promise?" Naomi asked suspiciously.
"Promise," Neelix said solemnly and raised his freckled hand. "Now try to get some sleep, will you?"
"Okay." She lay back well-behaved, taking Larx with her. Neelix tugged both of them in and kissed her cheek before bidding
her good night and turning the lights down.
=/\=
Before Chakotay left Sickbay to get at least a few hours'
rest, he stopped by by Kathryn's bed. It had certainly been a good
thing to put her into an artificial coma. Knowing her, the Doctor
had deemed it the only means to make sure that she recuperated
properly. Chakotay couldn't but approve of this decision, even if it
meant that he had to take over responsibility for the negotiations
with the Hirogen. He would rather Kathryn, Tuvok and he could
have negotiated together. Kathryn had an insight he sometimes
lacked, and vice versa. Chakotay was afraid that this time his
strong emotions would harm his discernment. But this wasn't
because Kathryn and he had been lovers on the Holodeck. The
entire crew had been affected by the sick and cruel game of the
Hirogen, so no one could blame him for feeling the way he did.
The Dorvanian wondered how Kathryn managed to keep calm at times like this. On the other hand did he know that Kathryn
sometimes drew her calm and strength from his presence. It was
this mutuality in their relationship that made it so special—among
other things. There were a lot of other little things that made their
friendship precious, and maybe even more than just a friendship.
Maybe the events of the past twenty days would serve as a
catalyst that turned Kathryn and him into lovers. If not, Chakotay
would of course accept that and try to be content with their
friendship. He'd managed to get as far as this by time the Hirogen
had seized Voyager. On the other hand did he know what he was
missing, now that he'd made love to Kathryn, and she to him.
Maybe she'd realize that, too. Chakotay prayed to the Spirits of his
ancestors that they make her realize that.
He looked at his lover. She was still pale, but she was on
the way of recovery. Her hair was still curled à la mode of the
1940s, albeit ruffled up. Her left hand was resting on her chest and Chakotay noticed the simple golden wedding ring on her finger
almost instantly. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth when
he realized that he too was still wearing the ring Catherine had
given him back in Sainte Claire. He pulled it off his finger and read
what was engraved on the inside: Catherine 20 Juin 1935.
Knowing that the same date but Maurice's name was engraved in
her ring, he didn't remove it from her finger. Maybe it would help
her make the right decision. Chakotay also thanked in silence
whomever it was that had left the ring on her finger—either the
Doctor or Tom.
With one hand Chakotay covered her hand, brushing his
thumb over the golden ring as he did so. With his other hand he
cupped the top of her head, lowering himself so that his lips almost
touched her left ear. "Get well soon, Kathryn. I love you." Then he
kissed her gently on the cheek. He brushed across her forehead
with his thumb and gave her small hand a squeeze.
When he turned to leave he found the Doctor standing next to him. "I'm sure she has heard you, Commander," the hologram
offered. He knew that the crew found the certainty that people in a
coma could hear them comforting.
"Yes, I hope so. Good night, Doctor. Take good care of our
ladies," Chakotay smiled wearily.
To be continued ...