A/N: I didnt know if was going to continue or not... but i did anyways.. and i might have ruined it.. lol.. but yeah.. im sorry for the spelling errors or grammar or whatever... and this chaptermight be a little cliched... so just tell me if you want me to continue or to stop.. so i'll know..

Chapter 2

4 years later

"Hi, You've reached Addison Montgomery's please leave your message. Beep"

"Addison, its Richard Webber. I was wondering if you could come here in Seattle for a case. Well, just give me a call"

I woke up when I heard Richard's voice filled up the room and someone was constantly poking me.

"Mommy…. Mommy…." My daughter was poking me, trying to make me open my eyes "Wake up, mommy!" she whispered

"No, sweetie, mommy is tired"

Yes, I have a daughter. She's 3 years old. Her name is Taylor.

Two weeks after I got back to New York I found out I was pregnant.

Talk about wrong timing.

I raised her all by myself, well, not exactly true. I had help from friends and family and a nanny.

Miranda Bailey was right, there's something better that what I had in Seattle.

I may have lost Derek, but I gained Taylor.

"Mommy….."

"What is it, Tayl?" I asked opening one eye

"It's morning. I want breakfast" she said kind of mispronouncing some words

"It's early, Taylor"

"It's not"

"How did you know? You can't even tell time" I asked, opened my eyes and smiled at her. I looked at the time. 10:00, she's right. It's not early.

I stood up and put on my robe went to the kitchen and got my kid something to eat.

I watch her eat as I inhale the addictive aroma of my coffee. Now I should think about why Richard called.

He needs me for a case? Déjà vu

I don't think I can ever go back to Seattle. 4 years of no communication with Derek and then suddenly I'd just show up? That doesn't seem right.

As much as I dread to go back to Seattle, I can't refuse Richard's offer. He has done a lot of things for me and the least I could do is go there for a case.

But if I go, where will I leave Taylor? And even if I leave Taylor I don't think I'll last a day without her.

I picked up the phone and called Richard

"Hello?"

"Richard, its Addison"

"Addison, nice to hear from you"

"I'm considering your offer. But I'm having problems. I can't leave Taylor"

"We have daycare here in the hospital, Addison."

"Why do you want me instead of other doctors?"

"You're the best"

"Richard, I don't think I can go back to Seattle"

"Addison, you moved on. He moved on. It's time to face the demons. And I promise you will just be here for a week tops"

"Okay. When should I be there?"

"As soon as possible"

"Is tomorrow fine?"

"That's great"

"Okay, goodbye, Addison. I'll see you tomorrow"

"I'll see you tomorrow, Richard" I said and hung the phone up. "Taylor, honey, we're going to Seattle"

"Huh?" She stared and looked at me.

Poor girl doesn't even know.

The next day, I packed up and went to Seattle. I'm braver than I thought I'll be. A billion things floating in my mind, will Derek be there? Of course he'll be there. Is he married to Meredith? He probably is.

After I got to my hotel and checked in, I went to my room and dropped our stuff. And then I took Taylor to the hospital just to check in on Richard. Though I will officially start tomorrow, might as well get a head start.

As the cab pulled up in front of the hospital, my heart started pounding. I want to turn and go back home. But I can't.

"Mommy, are you alright?" She asks me with her eyes full of curiosity

"Yeah, sweetie. Are you ready?" she nodded. We got out of the cab and went in the hospital.

As I got out of the elevator, first person I see was the first person I was dreading to see.

"Addison?" He asked. I looked around the people around him and they looked at me as if they saw Satan. Izzie, Cristina, Preston, and yes, there she is, Meredith.

"Hey guys" I said trying to sound nonchalant. But honestly, I'm dying inside. I took my daughter's hand and walk towards them

"What are you doing here?" He asked, the rest just looked from Derek to me waiting for an answer.

"A case. Yes, Derek, Satan's back, but don't worry. I won't make hell out of you. I'm just here for a few days. A week tops" Then I looked at him. His sight shifted and looked at Taylor, and so did the others.

"Your daughter?" he asked. Stupid question, I know.

"Who else would it be? Why would I bring a child that is not my own?" I asked

He just stood there, awkward silence. I looked at his finger, no ring. So he's not married. Maybe he's not married. They all just stood there, until Preston broke the silence.

"Well, we're glad to have you back, Addison" He just and stretched his arms out for a hug. I hugged him.

"I guess you're the only one who feels that way" I said looking at the former interns and my ex husbands who looked like they just saw a ghost.

"So you're just going to stand there and not introduce us to you daughter?" Derek said

"Oh, right. I'm sorry." I looked at Taylor who was just looking from one person to another trying to absorb who these people are. "Taylor, honey, this are the people mommy used to work with when she lived here"

"You lived here!" She asked in disbelief or whatever.

"Yes, I told you that remember?"

"Oh yeaaahh" she said then I looked at them again and smiled.

"How's Mark?" Derek asked. Why was he asking stupid questions?

"Married. Two kids."

"Congratulations"

"Huh?" I asked confusedly. Then when I finally got what it meant.

"You're not? I just assumed, I'm sorry" Derek said

"Are you really that shallow, Derek? You'd just assume that went back to Mark? You think I could do that? No, Mark is married with another woman. 2 kids, a two year old girl and a six month baby boy. We became friends again after his wife became my patient."

"I'm sorry, Addison. I just assumed since you have a daughter"

"Yeah, well stop assuming" I snapped "Well, I'm going to Richard now. I guess I'll see all of you later" I picked up Taylor and walked as fast as I could.

After I found Richard, he suggested for us to get some coffee and catch up.

"You already saw Derek?"

"Yeah, on my way to your office, there he was."

"Wow, I wish I saw that"

"It was very awkward. He assumed I went back to Mark and got knocked up by Mark and married Mark."

"You told him?" He asked. And I already knew what he was talking about.

"No. I don't have any intentions to" Then I looked at Taylor who was busy playing with her cupcake.

"Addison, you know you should."

"I know. But I can't. I just can't show up and tell him. It'll ruin him"

"Addison –"

"Please, Richard. I came here for business. And I'm intending to keep it that way unlike before. He has a life now, I have a life now. You were right, we've both moved on."

"Fine"

We headed back to the hospital and went to the elevator. The elevator door opens, and there was Derek. He went in and made things even worse.

"Addison, Chief, and Taylor, right?" He said and then looked at Taylor who nodded to him.

"Derek" Richard said acknowledging his presence. I just half-smiled at him.

"So, Addison thanks, really, for coming here. You can have the rest of the day. I'll need you tomorrow though" Richard said

"Yeah, maybe I'll show Taylor around" I said twirling my fingers in her auburn hair

"She'll love it" Richard said

"Wherever you take this kid and give her a bag of Skittles or jellybeans, I don't have a problem. She'll love it for sure, even if I take her to a mental asylum or something like that"

"Well, you took her here, didn't you?" Richard said and we laughed. Derek was just standing there. Richard got out of the elevator and I was stuck there with Derek.

"Going down?" He asked me. I just nodded.

There was silence. Nobody wanted to talk.

"I miss you" he said

"What are you trying to say, Derek?"

"I miss you. That's what I'm trying to say"

"So, how are you and Meredith?"

"We're colleagues. We got back together and then broke up"

"Oh, I'm sorry"

"Yeah"

Then there was silence.

"How are you, Addison?"

"I'm fine. You know, work, and go home, sleep, same old stuff everyday"

"You have a daughter"

"Yeah, I do"

"She's beautiful"

"She is"

"She looks just like you" He said and smiled

"I get that a lot"

"I bet she looks like the father too"

"When she was younger she did look like her dad. But that changed"

"I see. So, where are you heading? I mean I was wondering if maybe you want to catch up"

"I just had coffee with Richard. But I'm just planning to go to that park near the river, get some air. If you want to catch up, sure, that will be great. But don't you have work?"

"I'm on my break. I'm entitled to have break, you know?" He smirked

"I know." I smiled. I miss him. I really do.

We walked to the river and sat on a bench. I was Taylor as she walked near the dock.

"Be careful, Tayl!" I called out. I saw her nod.

"So, I'm really happy to see you again, Addison"

"Me too" I said. There was a hint of sadness in my voice. "Derek, why didn't you stop me?"

He just looked at me. I don't know him anymore. I can't read what he's thinking anymore.

"I don't know, Addi. I thought it was what you wanted. I thought you wanted to be set free."

"You knew all I wanted was to be with you" I said

"I was not sure because you're the one who signed the papers first. You're the one who decided to leave so I thought that's what you wanted."

"I wanted you to be happy"

"I wasn't"

"Are you happy now?"

"You could say that. In some way, I am happy. I have great work, great friends. But I'm lonely too. How about you, are you happy?"

"I have work and Taylor. But I don't have you, so I guess I'm not happy"

Then there was that comfortable silence again.

"What happened? After I left, I mean" I asked

"I went back to work the next day. I was a wreck. People kept on asking if I were alright. And then of course everyone in the hospital knew. Everybody looked at me with either pity or anger. I don't know. I didn't know what to do next. I don't know if I should call you or go to you. It has been like that for years. Until there was Meredith –"

"She pulled you through" I said finishing his sentence. He looked at me and smiled.

"Yeah, she did. We were together for about a year until we broke up"

"What happened?"

"We drifted apart, I guess. We happy one day, then the next day she wants to see other people. She's into someone else."

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright. How about you? Are you going to tell me your sob story? Or do I have to interrogate you?" He asked and chuckled. I just smiled at him.

"Well, I got knocked up. I didn't know what to do. Abortion or adoption? I didn't know. I was going to give it to Sav and Weiss. But then Sav made me realize that I can't give up my child"

"What about the father?"

"He never knew"

"Why didn't you tell him?"

"I just don't see the point of telling him"

"I see. Do you think things will be different if you told him?"

"I don't know."

Then there was silence.

"Do you think you and Meredith will get back together?" I asked trying to break the silence

"I don't know."

"Do you still love her?"

"I don't know" he said while both of us were looking at Taylor who was playing and running after birds. "After Meredith and I broke up, I just realized how much you mean to me. I realized how much I need you"

"Then at that time, why didn't you look for me?" I asked

"Pride stopped me"

"Pride"

"Yes, pride"

Then that silence again.

"I miss you, Addi"

"I miss you too" I said. My eyes still focused on Taylor. I want to cry. But I can't. I want to kiss him. But I can't.

I wish I could tell him.

But I can't.

I won't let my heart break again.