Harry blinked, he felt pretty good for being dead. He then looked around and froze. The screen was dark, was the monitor off? "Voldemort… hey, Voldemort? Floating eyeball? Bridge man? Hello…?" he rose to his feet and brushed the computer dust from his clothing. He walked by the cabbage patch, passed the retreating forms of the Ringwraiths, and turned to face the screen.
"Dear readers, it has come to my attention that this fan fiction is not fulfilling its original purpose. To tell you what the writer hates about Authors. It has also come to my attention that you still do not know the fanficks that Tom and I were referring to in the first chapter. And that our author can't spell. For all of this…"
Entire fanfick cast: "WE ARE SO SORRY!"
Voldemort: "Well I'm not."
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9: Sssssshhhhhhh!
Eye of Sauron: I'm just here…
Harry: "So without further adue," (Jams the dark-lord-of-being-a-pain-in-the … with his elbow.) "We will move the story along and with a little help; get it going some where… GET ME OUT OF THIS SCREEN! GET ME OUT! I'M GOING CRAZY! HELP! HELPHELPHELPHELPHELP! AAAAAUUUUGGGHHHHHHH! ….thank you for your time."
Entire fanfick cast: "THANK YOU!"
Voldemort: … "...you're a dead man walking Potter… literally… heh."
Harry: "… … … just pass me a cabbage."