Author's note: Yay insanity! And I own nothing but my own twisted little self!

Lord Voldemort was irked.
Really irked.
Severely irked.
If he was any more irked he would be an Irkin.
If he were an Irkin he would be an Irkin elite.
…which was, more or less, his problem right now.

"Potter… isn't it insane enough in here right now without the invader Zim lines?"

"EEH?"

"Oh potter…"

"I AM ZIM!"

"No, no your not. If you were Zim, who didn't sign our contract with the giant eyeball, I would have killed you by now."

"Tom, you really need to lighten up."

"Fine… fine… I AM ZIM!"

"See? Much better!"

Voldie retreated shortly afterward to get away from some of the madness. Not that he had anything against madness, it just rather felt like they were overdosing on it right now. He walked over to the cabbage patch and picked one, stared at it for a moment. It, being a cabbage, did not stair back.

"…I need to do something evil."

The cabbage did not stir.

"You know… something to get the old dark lord juices flowing…"

(flashback to the giant flaming eyeball fiasco)

"…something a tad less suicidal than the last thing I did."

The cabbage agreed.

Voldemort stared at the cabbage. "…a little odd… and wrong, Very wrong."

The cabbage began to smoke. "And on fire! Very much on fire!"

The cabbage exploded into a million tiny fragments. A very burnt Voldemort stared in disbelief at the combustible vegetables around his feet.

"…I invented the exploding cabbage… good to know. I am in pain… a lot of pain…"

Voldemort crawled away quickly.

A moment later a Nazgul came over and picked up several cabbages, he looked around, sneakily, and tiptoed off.

#7. Do they suspect anything?

#1. …Well, they might now. But we must continue operation 'Detonation to Saner Stories' at all costs.

-

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Harry looked at the burnt dark lord, raised an eyebrow in surprise. "… There's something different about you. Don't tell me! Let me guess…"

"Oh, hahahaha Potter, how rich, how funny how…auuugh…"

"It's your head isn't it? You polished your head."

"Shut up Potter, just, shut up.

"What the hell happened Tom? You look like… like chicken"

"…I look like what!"

"Like chicken, burnt chicken."

"AAAaaaauuuggghhh."

Suddenly, like a bolt of lightning setting fire to a Nazgul, the insanity warped. It grew without warning a semblance of a plot, as the mighty author smote into creation…

A little madness.

It was a convention, right in the middle of the Word program.

Characters seemingly from all over creation had sprung up from nowhere and started mingling. Harry P. Looked upon the swiftly developing chaos and choked on a slightly sizzling cabbage. Voldemort was still burnt. "Potter… it's spreading… they aren't even all from books anymore!" Potter continued to choke. "What is she doing? Is this punishment? Did we forget the plot again? …hey look, aren't those our nine sombrero wearing Nazgul meeting their more cannon versions?" Harry, performing the Heimlich maneuver on himself was too busy to reply. "I didn't know that there was still such a thing as actual characters… oh wow… must… go… mingle…"

Harry watched helplessly as Voldemort was drawn into the crowd. He finally dislodged the cabbage from his throat. "NO! TOM! They'll corrupt you!"

As swiftly as he could manage he ran after, only to be stopped by the cast of Narnia as they walked past. "This is madness… a crossover of this scale could start a war! TOM! Where are you Tom! OH ALL RIGHT! LORD VOLDEMORT! HAPPY NOW! GET YOUR SCALEY BEHIND OUT OF THERE!" There was no reply but a perturbed group of Jedi who walked past a little faster. Harry sank to his knees defeated.

He was then run over by a hobbit.

Meanwhile, Voldemort had moved further in, there was a battle raging before him, as an upset and offended witch king charged the peaceful sombrero wearing rip-offs. Blade met hat as piercing screams split the air. Well, this was getting those juices flowing all right, a regular recipe for evil was all around him, and insanity ran a close second. To his left the cast of Hellraiser watched perturbed, trying to figure out what was with all the madness. Soon they too were fighting, at a challenge issued from John Constantine they attempted to mightily smite him. Voldemort watched in morbid fascination as the bloody destruction continued. "This is the most crazy I have seen… since that entire cabbage incident… not good, not good at all."

"No, it isn't."

Surprised, Voldemort looked to see who had spoken. Erik from the musical Phantom of the Opera watched with bored eyes.

"…You look, familiar."

"Do I?"

"…yes…yes you do."

"Oh, that makes sense, I've been in a Harry Potter crossover recently."

"Have you really?"

"So have we."

Both turned shocked to Vegeta and Goku (from the long departed from favor Dragon Ball Z series.) "We were in a crossover, you were there." Vegeta paused. "…I think kakkarot killed you, but only because I was using the facilities at the time." Voldemort paled.

"You killed me? What about that whole prophesy thing!"

Goku shrugged. "Discarded in the very first chapter."

Erik laughed. "I just love a good original plot bashing! It reminds me that on the large scale of things, I could be considered sane."

Just then a very beaten and bloody sombrero Nazgul passed by. Another in character Nazgul shot the group an odd look as he moved in to finish of the kill. The Witch King however decided to join them; he dragged a trampled Harry behind him. Voldemort blinked again. "…and what happened to him?" the Witch King made a gesture of casual disinterest and dropped Harry at their feet, then hissed in an ominous whisper…

Hobbits have large feet…

No one decided to comment. The point had been made. It was all too evil.

Mercifully the hand of the author smote them all a mighty one, and the entire convention vanished. The screen was blissfully blank.

…blank.

…utterly blank.

…even the cabbage was gone.

"…Oh Crap." Quoth the author,