Disclaimer- No, I own nothing I tell you... NOTHING! -sobs- Apart for Cay, that is
Notes- This chapters going to be slightly... insane. And our guest Fellowship character is... Boromir! Oh, and forgive me for all spelling mistakes. I dont have word check, and I seem to always miss a load. Oh, and 'Smells like Teen Spirit' belongs to Nirvana
Pronunciation of my characters-
Caisha-
Cay-sha
Ysan- Ee-san
Dyanai- Di-yan-ey
Illyra-
Ill-aye-rar
Línarai- Lee-nar-ey
To my
beloved reviewers- MORE REVIEWS! -shifty eyes- sure, they're from
the same two people, but what do I care? xD
GothicShadow- Yep,
I'm an Englander From Manchester
ChronicCheddar- Huge
wall of text? -hides under blanket- Im sowwi... Ill try breaking it
up more Im used to writing actual stories, so my paragraphs get...
lengthy. And I've actually not decided who Caisha's romance shall be
p Depends which character I like best... She will have one,
eventually, but right now shes far too confused to be thinking past
Mars Bars. Even though that made no sense. We can just say that
Boromir rode in on a liver chestnut It doesent alter the story
that much. Right then... Lets get started 3
-----------
Last time on 'Oh sweet God, I'm a Mary Sue':
She had begun
her meander from the courtyard when she was cleanly, and elegantly,
bowled over by the muscle-laden body of a destrier-type of steed, a
war horse if she ever saw one. It was a fine, attentive liver
chestnut, with a flaxen mane and tail, which she noticed was braided
just before she made contact with the ground. It was very hard
ground, she decided. A very good quality, oh yes. Just not the sort
for falling on, really. She preferred falling on feathers, come to
think of it... The massive equine was reigned to a halt, the rider
said something she didnt bother to listen to- no doubt insulting her
for being in the way... That seemed to be how things worked around
here. She could see the rim of the horses hooves out the corner of
her eyes, and she became dimly aware of how familiar this situation
was to her. No doubt this was going to be a regular
occurance...
Suddenly, as she remained unmoving on the floor, she
felt herself be picked up as though she was as light as a feather,
and set back on her booted feet... Wasnt that nice? Said a weak voice
in the back of her head. She heard a voice asking her something, but
she seemed fairly disconnected, and the world only stopped being so
blurred when she was turned to face her helper, who had been riding
the liver chestnut, considering they were holding the reigns in their
hand...
Her sullen blue eyes found the face of the said person,
and she swallowed thickly, finding her throat had suddenly dried up.
Oh crap... This wasnt possible... Was it?
Chapter Two- Of Trees, Lego-Man and Broken Bones
Flashback-
Two
green eyes found hers as they stared solidly in return. They were set
in a handsome face, framed by a crop of brown hair that fell to the
rider's shoulders, looking slightly dishevelled at the moment. The
males thin brows had pressed themselves into a concerned line as he
looked at her- Caisha couldn't help but notice he looked
disapproving, as well. Hell, was it her fault his horse knocked her
over? Nope, I didnt think so...
When she finally dragged her eyes
from his, she looked at his attire. He was wearing a plain front lace
close-fitting leather doublet, with black surcoat of rich material,
along with what looked like classic, black leather riding boots. She
noted the rounded sheild strapped to the horses saddle bags, along
with what she presumed to be provisions. At his waist she saw he wore
the ivory horn of Gondor, bound to his waist by a braided leather
chord, finished in gold wrap, besides a sheathed sword with a
cross-hilt. As she surveyed him, she felt those green eyes studying
her own rather... improvised ... clothing, and it made her shift
uncomfortably, glaring at him until his eyes returned to her... He
wore plain black gauntlets, which he waved infront of her face to
make sure she was fully focused,
"Are you okay? That was
quite a... spectacular fall."
Caisha just gawped; she seemed
to be doing a lot of this lately... Firstly, she was knocked over.
And second, there was no way this was Sean Bean, was there...? Maybe
Illyra had kidnapped him...? She wouldn't put it past her... She was
addicted to Boromir; almost as much as the Lego-Man... Somehow,
however, she didnt believe that Illyra having kidnapped him was
possible. So what the hell was he doing here? And why was she
there?
With her mouth hanging open, eyes wide in shock and
surprise, she had the feeling she resembled a Guppy fish at feeding
time, but it didnt stop her continued to gape at him, looking
entirely gormless. He returned her look with confusion, inching
backwards a moment to try and escape the idiot she knew she must look
like,
"Are you okay?" he repeated, touching her shoulder
hesitantly, as though the insanity might be contagious... She noticed
he was wearing leather diamond shaped vambraces, edged with fold over
leather trim, with a silver tree tolled and painted on the bottom
half... Had she of cared, of course, she would have marvelled at the
beauty of such creations. As it was, she did not, and she was only
vaguely aware of the fine war charger lipping at her blue hair, her
mind was awash with new thoughts, so much so she failed to notice.
Automatically, her hand petted the steeds muscular neck, and he
nuzzled into the space under arm, whuffling into her skin. She wasnt
paying much attention, though, instead keeping her eyes trained on
his face...
"Uhm... Hold on, I'll go get you some help...
Just you wait here..." he was speaking again; she noticed people
did that a lot around here.
Sean-Bean / Boromir- whatever his name
was- took another few steps back, pulling the horse with him, looking
thoroughly worried.
That was too much for her... She was in a
strange land, staring at someone who belonged in a film, not stood
with a horse infront of her. She was wearing a tunic from ancient
times in a way she wouldnt have worn for a Halloween party, she was
armed with a mascara brush, people spoke strangely to her and she'd
been knocked unconscious for two days by a pointy wooden stick, with
no way of getting home...
Caisha snapped...
End Flash
Back.
It had taken them an hour to get her out of
the tree. And even then, they didnt actually get her out...
For
once, the boughed creation didnt want to let her go; everytime
someone attempted to climb up to her, they fell, elf or no, leaving
her watching them, wide-eyed and petrified from the top branches,
singing Smells like Teen Spirit desperately. It was probably
the first time anyone had seen an elf look dishevelled; Elrond was
almost bouncing on the ground, glaring up at her, trying to catch her
attention as she watched Elrohir and Elladan slide into a heap at the
bottom of the tree, having tried to climb up it yet again. No matter
how hard they tried, they couldnt get a solid perchase on the
branches. Caisha put it down to them trying to climb in those
outfits. They didn't look like they were made for scrabbling up the
scenery...
Besides Elrond, she spotted Boromir, still holding the
liver chestnut horse, watching her with a worried expression; once
Caisha had snapped, she'd shoved him out the way and darted to the
nearest tree, screaming about Mars Bars and having blue hair,
forgetting completely about her dress-like tunic as she clambered up
the branches. She'd been sat up there for a while now, on the top
boughs which overhung the river, having momentarily forgotten her
hatred of all things tree-like, or green. No doubt he thought she was
completely mad. Not to mention how terrified she'd been when she
thought she was seeing double, when Elrohir and Elladan had arrived-
she thought she was seeing two of Elrohir, having no idea they were
twins... And then, when the two tried to climb up the trunk, it had
only served to scare her more, thinking her visions were coming to
get her...
She just wanted to go home.
Elrond was still trying
to catch her attention,
"Lady! Lady Caisha! You must come
down from up there!"
She ignored him, singing loud and
amazingly off-key. Normally, she wasnt a bad singer, but today, fears
were making her jittery and she only sang to try and block out all
the days events;
"With the lights out it's less
dangerous,
Here we are now,
Entertain us,
I feel stupid and
contagious,
Here we are now,
Entertain usssssssssss!"
she clamped her eyes tight shut, not looking at the dizzying distance
between herself and the ground; oh yes, did I forget to mention she
was terrified of heights?
Actually, no, that was wrong. She wasnt
afraid of heights; she could walk past tall trees and buildings
without batting a eye. It was being ontop of those heights and
falling from them that worried her; hence her fear of depth.
Surely, anyone in their right mind would be petrified of falling from
a height to their death at the hands of the ground? She knew she
was... Then again, she wasnt exactly in her right mind at the moment,
was she?
"Dár! Caisha!" that was Elrohir, she
noted, though tuned out the rest of his sentance; sounded something
like 'Not safe'... What wasnt safe? Her mental stability? She knew
that much...
She was oblivious to the fact she had twigs and
leaves sticking out of her hair, so that she resembled a rather
impressive human nest, nor that a rather friendly little sparrow had
perched itself on her shoulder, chirping down her ear in union with
the song... All she knew as the Nirvana track repeating itself in her
head;
"A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My
Libido
Yeeeeeaaaaaah!"
Something small, sharp and
shaped suspiciously like a stone hit her in the side of the head,
which rocked her out of her song; she almost fell from the tree with
her shock, but managed to somehow cling to the branches, glaring down
to see who'd do such a henious crime. Everyone was staring at
Boromir, astonished, who was looking anywhere but at them, innocently
whistling. Even the horse was looking nonchalant, tossing his head to
and fro and nickering in what she presumed to be amusement. Caisha
glowered, leaning forward out of the tree to shout at the steward of
Gondor's son, hodling on tightly to two of the thicker boughs;
"You
son of a ---!" only she never quite got there. The tree had
decided finally had enough of her weight and off-key singing, and
deposited her rather rudely on the floor at their feet. Oh, she knew
it looked like she'd slipped on her grip, but really, she knew it was
different. The tree had chucked her. All trees were evil; there was
proof. She'd been holding on tight enough- it just didnt like her.
She was dimly aware of pain shooting up her entire left side as she
landed awkwardly, and several cracks as the tree threw a few branches
down after her, some bouncing and rolling away, others just landing
on her and staying there happily... Just before she blacked out, she
was aware that she was once again laying on the grass, and could see
Boromir's horse's hooves out of the corner of her eye... That was too
rich... Oh, someone was going to pay for this...
"I hate
trees." she muttered thickly, before slipping into
unconsciousness once again...
And it would seem the trees hated
her.
------
When Caisha finally awoke, she wished she
hadn't.
Dimly aware that she was actually in a bed this time,
rather than sprawled across the floor, she had wakened to see four
faces pressed over her bed, looking at her curiously. She recognised
them immediately, and groaned; Boromir was nearest, on her left,
looking rather worried about the whole thing, taking a step back when
he saw she was awake. Elrond was on the right, looking stern but
rather amused, and at the foot of her bed, the twins Elrohir and
Elladan were watching her curiously, trying to hide their entertained
smiles.
Elrond was speaking, but she wished he wasnt, purely
because she had yet another pounding headache and the world was still
spinning into focus;
"We are glad to see you awake, Lady
Caisha."
Caisha snorted in a most unlady like fashion, and
pulled a face, "Its just Caisha." she growled, glaring up
at the elf Lord, who gave her the Holier-Than-Thou smile. Elrohir's
smile widened at this comment, and he whispered something to Elladan,
whose own smile became broader. She noticed Boromir had backed a
significant way, so that he was leaning against the window-less
arches that were trying to be windows, and that Elrond had become
incredibly stern, glaring down at her. She wondered why the hell the
elf lord was wearing a dress...
"What the hell happened?"
she muttered, trying to move her hands up to rub her pounding
temples; only her right hand responded. She was incredibly freaked by
this new slot of information, and tried to struggle into a sitting
position, whilst attempting to move her left arm, noticing for a
moment it was in a sling that hung about her neck. Elrond's hand,
about ten times stronger than Caisha would have guessed, pressed her
back into the pillows,
"You fell from the tree, La---"
there was not a elf, human, dwarf, hobbit or other creature in the
world that could have carried on speaking with that glare. It was a
Grade A glare, that Caisha reserved only for her little brothers when
they'd stepped over the line again.
"I did not fall from the
tree. It chucked me. And my name is just Caisha; I'm no lady."
she continued to glare, until it was broken by Boromir's words;
"That
much at least is true..." he gave a snicker of laughter.
She
turned her head, even through the pain of her headache, to gawp at
him,
"Excuse you?" she tried to struggle up again,
looking defiant, but Elrond kept her pressed down with his sturdy
hand. The twins could not help but laugh at this point, watching the
scene fold out.
Boromir shrugged, looking out of the
arch-type-window thing casually, scratching something into the stone
with the tip of his nail;
"I was merely implying that you,
lady,-" he but an exagerated emphasis on the word,
clearly mocking her. Caisha's eyes narrowed dangerously, still
struggling to sit up despite the pressure on her right shoulder,
"-have no idea of how to act with the dignity and self-respect
expectant in Ladies."
How strange... You could almost hear
the capital 'L' in his voice. She was livid at his insult; but then
again, she couldnt falter him on it- she had just climbed a tree and
sang off-key Nirvana tracks for an hour.
"Well you---"
she began, but it was Elrohir that cut her off, turning to look at
Boromir,
"And yet you, Boromir, son of Denethor, are not
acting like a gentleman of your station. Elladan did himself see you
knock her over with your charger." Elladan nodded, "Aye,
that is true. And you claimed it was her fault, for being in your
way..."
It was Boromir's turn to glower at the twins, and
Caisha continued to gape at the Gondor steward's son, secretly
pleased the two twins had stuck up for her, "Really? Because
thats not fair. It was your fault! And---"
"Peace, hîn-"
she was interupted in her angry flow by the elven Lord. Seeing her
confusion, Elladan mouthed the word 'Children' at her from the end of
her bed. She turned her glare onto Elrond now. She prefered 'lady' to
'child'. Elrond chose to ignore her for the moment, "-As I was
saying, Híril Caisha-" she got the distinct impression he
was calling her 'Lady' again, and her glare intensified itself, "-You
fell from the tree... We believe you somehow injured your head when
Boromir knocked you down-" now it was Boromir's turn to glare
"-and that was what caused you to act as you did..." There
was a disbelieving snicker of laughter from the corner holding
Boromir. Elrohir and Elladan both turned to glower at him, and Caisha
wanted to punch the air; take that, arrogant son of Demblebee or
whatever he was called... Only, she would have punched the air-
despite the fact it was physically impossible for her to move her
left arm. Elrond continued on, noticing her distress, "When you
fell from the tree, you broke your arm."
Caisha was alarmed;
she'd never broken anything, apart for other peoples noses and that
really expensive vase her mother had brought- she struggled
desperately to sit up, fighting against Elrond's hand. Elrohir looked
rather worried at her shock and alarm, but Elladan seemed amused- and
Boromir? She couldnt care less about him.
"Settle, hén-"
that must mean child, she concluded. "-I have mended the bone.
It will be numb for a day or so, so that the effects of the healing
can wear off. That is why you cannot feel it..." Elrond placed
his hand on her forehead, and the pounding headache that was haunting
her slowly coiled away, leaving her thinking clearer than she had
done in a while; his touch calmed her significantly, and she stopped
struggling, staring up at the elf Lord and planning her revenge on
the tree.
No doubt, it would involve a sharp, pointy-ended object
and possibly a burning torch...
"So..." she began,
relieved to find her voice was smooth and she sounded sane again- the
other four looked fairly relieved as well, and Boromir even risked
taking a few steps closer to the bed, hesitant, wary of Elrohir and
Elladan's glares, "Tell me truthfully. Where am I?" she
looked at each face carefully, looking for signs of lying. She was an
expert at telling when people did so; you didnt live in a house with
two younger twin brothers and three younger sisters without picking
up on the tricks.
Elrohir sighed, as Elrond rested his hand
against the tip of her forehead, which had cooled significantly- she
presumed she had a fever, judging by the heat she'd felt when she'd
woken up, "You are in the Last Homely House of Lord Elrond,
Caisha, in Rivendell."
She was silent for a long time,
mulling this other; "And you wouldnt lie about this?" she
couldnt help the hopeful tone of her voice.
Elrond spoke up now,
shaking his head, "No... Why would we do so?"
Caisha's
hope deflated and she sighed, shrugging her right shoulder, "I
thought it was an elaborate joke of my sisters..."
"Ah
yes. Illyra. So you kept saying..."
Caisha sighed and nodded,
biting her bottom lip nervously, worrying the skin; "So, its
definately not a big set up?"
"Im afraid not... But now,
you must rest. It seems your body does what it can to return to bed;
perhaps you should stay it in a while... The maid Línarai will
tend to you... When you are fully recovered, we will talk properly.
Rest well, Tithen Vanwa Min..." and Elrond was gone again,
sweeping out of the room, followed quickly by Boromir. She looked at
the two twins, who were grinning at her, and blinked,
"What
does... Tithen Vanwa Min mean?" she blinked in her ignorant
confusion. Elrohir's grin widened;
"It means Little---"
he began-
"---Lost One." Finished Elladan for him. Wow,
this was going to get confusing... There were like older versions of
Coal and Ryan... This realisation made her insides squirm unhappily,
and she dropped her gaze to the sheet covering her... She noticed, as
she did so, that someone had changed her clothes, combed her
dishevelled blue hair and slipped her into a nightgown; she hoped to
god it had been that Línarai girl...
The tunic and boots
was no-where to be seen, though someone had left her white belt on
the bedside table, along with the mascara brush. With her right hand,
she turned herself and gripped it tightly, squeezing her eyes shut,
trying to blot out the realisation that, maybe, just maybe, she
really was in Middle Earth... And that she wouldn't be seeing home
for a long while...
When she was sure she had conquered her tears,
she re-opened her glistening eyes to look around the room carefully;
nothing else had changed, except that someone had left a gown folded
neatly over the back of a nearby chair, as well as a matching cloak
and boots...
She rolled her eyes irritably; it figures...
Her
day could not get anyworse.
As always, she was dead
wrong.
------
She didnt like the dress.
It was made
of pale blue silk with a beautifully scooped oval neck and a cowl
draped collar, with the body traced in an eight-point petal pattern,
in silver and white, made of thread and pearls, chain stitched to
form the expanding petals and hand beaded in the centre. The skirt
flaired wildly and the train must have been at least ten inches on
the ground. The sleeves were a cream silk, full length and which fell
down to cover her hands, embroided in a different pattern to that of
the main dress, though they weren't patterned at top of the arms, and
the whole thing was bound by a loop-lacing, tied by a narrow
chord.
Over this, she wore a long, pale silk satin cloak, slightly
off-white in colour, like a creamy silver, with self-lined hood and
worn with the edge folded back. It had a wide over shoulder yoke that
dropped to a point at the front and back that descends almost to her
waist. The yoke had narrow piping on the edge. There was a tassel in
the back. There was also a couched cord design on the cloak hood and
large yoke, and fastened about her neck with a leaf-shaped brooch. It
was elegant, and beautiful; it so did not belong on
Caisha...
Especially not when she had blue hair.
When Caisha
had told Línarai she was getting up, having only spent an hour
or two in bed, the elf maid had first tried to stop her, but when she
discovered Caisha's stubbornness, Línarai had insisted she
wear it- she kept repeating something in Sindarin, or maybe it was in
Quenya. She had no idea about the difference.
All in all, Caisha
was now dressed up like one of the porcelain elves, and she hated
it... She'd pulled the hood of the cloak up to hide her hair from
view, so that she wouldnt be quite so noticeable or recognisable in
the crowds... Of course, her arm was still up in the sling, numb and
unable to move, but at least now she could go on her way unhindered,
under the pretence she was a fellow elf- dressed like this, at least,
she didnt get weird looks...
She was looking up at the sky, which
was nearing about midday, when she felt herself collide with
something at her waist; it caused her to stumble slightly, but the
other thing was knocked over... She blinked, and managed to stumble
out; "Nin díhen..." in a whisper, bending down her
good arm to help the person up- at least she had found out how to say
her apologies in Sindarin, thanks to Línarai.
It was only
when the person was stood up again that she noticed who it
was;
"Meriadoc Brandybuck!" she actually grinned; at
last, one of the only likeable characters... She hadnt seen hide nor
hair of Boromir, Elrohir, Elladan or Elrond since they'd left her
room. Línarai said they were talking in Elrond's study, and
Caisha chose to leave them to it. Boromir was probably seeing how
many points he could get if he knocked her over again... Maybe he'd
borrow a pointy stick from Elrohir or Ysan this time.
Merry
blinked in bewilderment, and stammered out a clumsy; "Suilads..."
as a greeting. He thinks I'm one of the elves... "Do I
know you?" he asked timidly when she didnt answer, staring up at
the robed girl...
Oh right... They didn't know about the book or
film here; "Uhm, no, you dont." he looked slightly
relieved; he'd probably heard how insane she was. Either that or she
didnt speak in Sindarin to him, "But I've heard of you; and of
the others."
Merry brushed himself off and continued to look
at her, curious, "Really? Because we havent heard of you."
that was Merry- straight and to the point.
"No, you wouldnt
have... I'm Caisha." her hand extended itself to shake his own-
he eyed it, then bowed low to the ground,
"Meriadoc
Brandybuck, at your service and your family's-" she felt a small
pang there "-Please to meet you, miss."
She had been
about to say something else when a second Hobbit-sized figure
catapulted itself from the shadows of the stone courtyard into Merry,
bowling him over and over across the slabs, tussling with
him;
"Ah-hah! Take that, Brandybuck! I'll teach you to steal
my carrots!"
It was Pippin... Who else? Caisha grinned with
delight as she watched the two short characters wrestle about her
feet, before she felt it was time to intercede. Like she would pick
up her twin brothers, she pulled the two apart with her right arm and
held Pippin by the scruff of his shirt, surveying him with amusement,
"Peregrin Took, I would have expected better than you."
Peregrin
squeaked in protest at being so manhandled, until he spotted Caisha
and her attire; he, like Merry, presumed she was one of the elven
kin, and flushed a deep red,
"But he'm stole me carrots,
lady."
Caisha put on a pained expression at the word, but let
it pass, smiling in her best serene way from one Hobbit to the other,
"And do you have no more carrots, Peregrin?"
"Yes'm,
lady..." he mumbled again...
She placed him back on the
ground, looking suddenly stern, "Call me Lady again and I'll
take your carrots and---"
The collison with quick and rather
painless. At least it was a stone floor. Thats all she could say.
There'd be no risk of getting grass stains on her
fantastically-not-for-her dress... As she lay on the floor for the
second time that day, swearing under her breath into the dust that
crowded her, she was vaguely aware of Pippin and Merry laughing in
the way of people who had heard a funny joke but didnt want to laugh-
stiffled giggles- as yet another pair of hands lifted her to her
feet, asking her apologetically if she was okay...
Not looking at
her helper, she brushed the elegant dress free of dirt it had
accumulated in her fall with her right hand and pulled the hood back
up, then turned to send her Grade A glare at the rider of the second
horse to have knocked her over that day... Prince Legolas of Mirkwood
stared back, unfazed, looking concerned for her health (or perhaps
her mentalility- perhaps Boromir had got to him first and given him
pointers on how to knock her down well). Behind him, she could see a
small group of elves who had followed him here, all reigning their
horses to a halt as their Prince spoke to the mad girl with blue
hair...
"Oh..." she said, like she couldnt believe her
eyes, "Its the Lego-man..."
It looked like the Council
of Elrond had begun...
To be Continued- Weee D
I
figured I'd best get the story moving on a bit.
I hope thats
broken up enough for you, ChronicCheddar
Anyone else who
reviews gets twenty minutes in a cupboard with a Fellowship member of
their choice (you so know you want to.)