Star Trek: Ranma's Story 82 – By DS Wynne

Disclaimer: "Ranma ½", "Sailor Moon", "Star Trek" and other genres belong to their respective owners.

Note: This is a multi-genre story.

Part 82

Location: Deep Space.

"I tell ya, that Kilowag got nothing on me," Green Lantern Ranma Saotome said, as he and his personal "Guardian of the Galaxy" Lianna flew back to the Federation starship Enterprise-D. Lianna, who was something out of a "Heavy Metal" cover, merely grunts her response.

"What?" Ranma asked.

"Did you have to embarrass me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Let me recap. One, you insult an entire species in one setting-"

"Hey, I hate it when anyone calls humans 'monkeys'…"

"Two, you almost ate a fellow Green Lantern-"

"Hey, I thought that Aldar Wer was part of the orientation dinner!"

"And, three, instead of accepting responsibility for your lacking in proper protocols, you decided to challenge your 'drill instructor' to unarmed combat."

"And I WON. I told Kilowag that I wasn't an ordinary human, you know."

"Look, all I ask of you is that you should at least make the appearance of being 'proper'."

"Hey, I told you before, I'm a chaos magnet. You'd think that you would have known that by now."

"Then I have much to teach you."

"We'll see, oh great guardian. We'll see…"

From the last projection point, the Enterprise-D was to investigate reports that a Federation science ship, the Tsiolkosky, had stop feeding information back to Starfleet. To that end, Captain Jean-Luc Picard and crew were to see why the science ship was not reporting. The Tsiolkosky was investigating a collapsing star, and could collapse at any time.

"Hmmm," Ranma said, as he and Lianna approached the two ships, which were drifting ever closer to the star. "This is Saotome to Enterprise-D. Please come in."

There was silence.

"It seems that you humans are in trouble," Lianna says.

"Whatever," Ranma replied. As he began to focus his willpower into his power ring, his aura began to glow green. "Can you give me a hand, at least?"

"Humph," Lianna said, as her aura began to glow as well.

Together, the two began to push the two ships to safety, away from the collapsing star.

"Well, that's that," Ranma says. "Now, let's see what's up…"

Thirty minutes later…

In the bowels of the Engineering Room, the Queen of Hearts was holding court. She was concerned about the presence of the space knight and her blue-skinned trollop.

"Now, knave," the Queen of Hearts said, as she waved her heart-tipped scepter. "Tell me why I should not off with your head?"

Ranma grimaced, as he tried to break his gold bonds. Unfortunately, gold, being a yellow substance, was preventing him from breaking them. Next to him was an equally bound Lianna, who couldn't move as well. She was dressed as "Alice" from the book "Through the Looking Glass".

"Damn it, Usagi, cut this nonsense out!"

Usagi and the rest of the crew were suffering from a virus that was rendering judgment moot. A similar situation had happened before, back when the crew of the original Enterprise had picked up a similar virus on a doomed planet. Usagi was indeed infected by the virus, and likened her self to the Queen of Hearts from the movie "Alice in Wonderland". Unfortunately, her nature warped everything around her to mimic the book itself. While the crew was infected (Picard wore a Napoleon costume, for example), Ranma and Lianna were not infected; Ranma's body was saturated with Green Lantern energy, and Lianna was an Oan.

"Usagi!"

"Now, now, you will address the Queen as 'Your Highness'!" Picard says.

"But it doesn't matter, loyal subject," Usagi replied. "Executioner, off with his head!"

Mr. Worf, who wore an executioner's cowl, stepped forth with his axe.

"Damn! Lianna, if you have something to contribute, now is a good time to do so!"

"Very well," Lianna said, as she broke her bonds.

Ranma looked at her incredulously.

"I was simply waiting for you to ask me to free you, Ranma Saotome."

"Fine, fine…can you free me now?"

Lianna broke Ranma's bonds.

"Sorry, Usagi, but you need to be stopped," Ranma said, as he cracked his knuckles…

Regardless of the method and the means, Ranma was successful in restoring the crew back to normal.

Location: Logon II (a week later).

"Okay, kiddo," Ranma said, as he rubbed the shoulders of his "apprentice" (and fellow crew mate) Tasha Yar. Ranma wore a knit caps, gray sweats, and had a white towel over his neck. "Now, remember, used your opponent's 'flow' to engage in misdirection."

"I know what I'm doing, sensei," Tasha replied, as she adjusted her headband. "You ARE my teacher, you know."

Ever since Ranma rescued Yar from a failed Federation colony, Ranma has taken upon himself to train the security chief as his student (in spite her age). He was well aware that Tasha had a crush on him, but paid it no mind.

On this day, Tasha was about to engage in "mortal combat", thanks to a custom that allowed the head of this planet, Lutan, to steal Tasha from the Enterprise-D as he new bride. The crew was originally sent to Logon II to acquire a rare vaccine for a sick Federation colony. Unfortunately, local politics and the Prime Directive, the rule for non-interference, got in the way. As a result of Lutan's actions, his intended wife Yareena got upset enough to challenge Yar to mortal combat. Meanwhile, Picard inadvertently learns that Lutan sets the whole thing up in order to ensure his ascendancy as the one who gets to keep Yareena's dowry without the need to marry Yareena. In fact, Picard surmised that the people of Logon were originally from Earth's African continent, who were taken to the stars, along with many other cultures and peoples, by the enigmatic "Preservers"…which Ranma, in his capacity as a Green Lantern, confirmed. And since Ranma is under strict protocols as a Green Lantern, he could not interfere in that capacity as such.

Still, that didn't mean that Ranma the Starfleeter could not.

The arena for combat is two-fold. One, the bars of the cage-match was electrified, and two, the intended weapons for use have been dipped in a deadly poison. Neither Ranma nor Tasha were particularly worried about the outcome, since Yar IS Ranma's protégé, and Dr. Beverly Crusher, the Enterprise-D's chief medical officer, is preparing an antidote for the poison. If all goes well, Yareena will be convinced that Lutan was nothing more than an opportunist, and thus secure the rights to the vaccine.

At least, that's the plan.

DING!

"Go break a leg, kid!" Ranma says.

"Of course, you mean HER legs, right?" Tasha replies with a smirk.

"Ah, no."

Location: Gamma Tauri IV (a week later).

Ranma Saotome stood in front of the guardian of the last outpost of the T'Kon Empire. The guardian was white-haired, and wore an elaborate ceremonial robes. He steps forth and presents his glaive.

"Master Ranma, the legends of your prowess proceeds you," The Guardian says. "We of the T'Kon knew of your ancient Jedi Order."

On this day, the Enterprise-D was chasing a Ferengi warship, which had stolen an energy converter from a nearby Federation outpost. The Ferengi were not known that well in the Alpha Quadrant, so much of their culture and ways were not that well known either. Both ships entered the unknown, uninhabited Gamma Tauri System, where the fourth planet had locked on a tracker field on them. Forced to work together, the Ferengi and the Starfleeters were forced together to solve the mystery. Thus, after a slight confrontation between the Away Team and the Ferengi, the guardian of the late T'Kon Empire shows up to test the two groups. However, the entity was impressed upon learning the presence of Ranma Saotome and Usagi Tsukino. He knew of the existence of the late Moon Kingdom, so he knew of Usagi's role as the fabled "Moon Princess". He also knew of Ranma from the archives that the T'Kon had acquired from their numerous exploratory pursuits throughout the universe.

"Thank you, ancient master," Ranma replied. "I didn't know that my…reputation proceeded me."

The Guardian turns his attention to the big-eared Ferengi, who were sexually harassing Tasha Yar.

"Hey, hey, HEY!"

"Come, female," said Daimon Tarr. "I'll pay you gold-pressed latinum if you get naked for me…"

"Um, Daimon, remember 'Rule of Acquisition #2'?" Ranma said.

"Ah, I see," the Ferengi says. "Backing off now…"

"What is this 'rule'?" Riker asked.

"'Rule of Acquisition #2' states the proverb, 'Acquire another one's acquisition at one's peril'," Data says. "I believe that Lt. Yar is Ranma's 'acquisition'."

"I'm no one's acquisition!" Yar fumed.

Something dawns on Worf.

"I see. Commander Riker, since Tasha is Ranma's student, she is HIS 'acquisition'!"

"How do a hu-man knows about the Rules of Acquisition?" Taar demanded.

"I've ran into you guys a long time ago, Daimon. And I also know that your failure in handling these 'negotiations', I'm sure the Grand Nagus would be 'pleased' at your accomplishment."

Taar looks at Ranma incredulously.

"You MUST have Ferengi ancestry, hu-mon."

Location: the edge of the Universe (a week later).

Ranma had told Captain Picard that achieving trans-warp was a bad idea. After all, he was the one who put out the theory on how to achieve such a state, back when he pushed the warp curve so that it was possible to reach 'Warp 11'. That is why warp factors between ten and eleven within the 'trans-warp' category. Starfleet wanted to force Ranma to continue his research in warp propulsion over the years, but Ranma saw no point to it, especially since the engineering tech levels were not up to par. So they handpicked a man by the name of Starfleet Warrant Officer Kosinski to complete Ranma's research.

The unfortunate thing about this was that Kosinski took himself WAY too seriously, and tried to show his displeasure at Ranma's unwillingness to further his research.

"If you won't take the glory, then I will," Kosinski sneers.

Ranma would have decked the man for saying that he was a coward. However, the martial artist was a bit more seasoned to let a man of Kosinski's ilk to get under his skin.

"Listen…Kosinski? I've checked your findings, as did Commander Riker and Chief Engineer LaForge…even Mr. Crusher checked them. And you know WHAT? They're CRAP!"

Kosinski turns bright red.

"We will see, Ranma Saotome!"

Throughout the test flight, Ranma noticed an unusual energy reading. However, it was Wesley Crusher who spotted the anomaly…in the form of Kosinski's alien assistant. When the Enterprise-D went past "Warp 10", they ended up in the Triangular Galaxy. Of course, Kosinski tried to take credit for it.

"See? Achieving trans-warp will NOT cause problems."

"That's because someone is helping you," Ranma replied.

"How dare you! I PROVE that I am right!"

When the Enterprise-D exited warped space again, the ship reappeared at the edge of the Universe. And it was then that the rest of the crew realized that the alien assistant, simply known as "The Traveler" was the caused. Unfortunately, his efforts in helping Kosinski were killing him. So Picard turns to Ranma for help.

"You're going to have to ask…Lianna," Ranma said. "Unless a Guardian approves of your request, I can't help in the capacity as a Green Lantern."

Picard sighs. For some time now, he was trying to ignore the non-aligned alien that was living with the Saotomes. So, he paid this…creature a visit.

"Hello, Captain Picard," Usagi says, as she comes out of her kitchen suite. Even thought she had accessed to "replicators", she liked to actually cook her family their meals. "I'm not on duty for another few hours…"

"Actually, I've come to speak with the Oan."

Usagi rolls her eyes, and pointed her finger in the direction of the front closet.

Picard nods, and enters the closet…

…And finds himself on an island paradise. The sky was blue, and the air was cool. A star of some kind hovers overhead.

"I need to speak to Ranma about this," Picard mused to himself, after remembering that Lianna installed a "tesseract" in the closet of his quarters, essentially creating a pocket dimension.

Picard looks around the tree line and the beach area…and sees someone rises from the waters.

It was Lianna…all in the buff.

Picard didn't want to intrude on the woman's private moment, but was already spotted.

"You humans are peculiar with your concepts of modesty," Lianna said, as she wrapped a long towel over her body. She then sat down on her lawn chair, and began grooming herself by taking a brush to her head of hair. "I take it that the reason why you are here is because you want my help?"

"Yes," Picard said, as he knelt down to Lianna at eye level. "We seem to be stuck at the edge of the Universe-"

"And you seek a way home. And I assume you want my Green Lantern to help?"

"Yes. I know that you do not want Oan business interfering with Starfleet business, which I am for, but…I need assistance on this one."

Lianna looks Picard for a moment, before resuming brushing her long hair.

"Ranma would know how to utilize your primitive technology to help you in your needs. He has my permission to help you."

"Thank you," Picard said, as he gets up. He then looks around a bit. "I must say that you have a nice…arrangement here. I would like to stop by here again in the near future."

"We will see, human. We will see."

With Lianna's permission, Ranma used his Power Ring to adjust the ship's warp fields. With just a fraction of the power needed, the Enterprise-D returned to Federation space. Thanks to Usagi, the Traveler was well enough to leave the ship, promising to return to help Wesley Crusher achieve his potential as the Wunderkind of space technology.

Location: En route to neutral world of Parliament (near a Space Cloud...a week later).

"Effective immediately, I will resign my commission," Picard said, as he addressed the Bridge Crew. "I and the entity that lives inside me will beam over into the cloud."

The Enterprise-D was assigned to escort the dog-like "Anticans" and the lizard-like "Selayans" (who were STILL trying to eat each other) to Parliament to help in their war with each other, so that they could be admitted to the Federation. Along the way, they passed a space cloud where they picked up an energy entity that was moving about the crew and the ship's systems until it possessed Captain Picard. And now…

"Captain Picard," Dr. Crusher says, as she gets up from the command station. "I declare that you unfit for command-"

The possessed Starfleet captain touched the helm control panel, and emitted an electric charged throughout the bridge, in an attempt to stun the Bridge Crew. Ranma, who just had gotten back from Oa, caught the charge in his hand…Jedi style.

'Nnnngh-!" Ranma managed to say, as through the charge back at Picard. The force of the counter-attack forced the entity out Picard's body. He then used his Power Ring to capture the entity in containment unit.

"That'll do, that'll do."

Ranma would later return the entity back to its home.

Tbc.