Disclaimer: All Drake & Josh characters copyright their proper owners. I just wrote this.

A/N: Some questions are answered. This is the longest chapter, and with good reason. A lot of talking. Alison, I know you were hoping for a longer conversation between Ford and Drake...well, this is what I was waiting to come up with...

Chapter 12: What I Want You to Be

Drake slid off of his bed after his mom called him. Ford was there. He thought about what was about to happen. Maybe he really hadn't given Ford enough time to explain why he left. Drake sighed. He began to climb down the stairs. He met Megan at the bottom. She looked a little nervous.

"Hey," Drake said, "it'll be okay."

"I hope so," Megan replied.

Brother and sister walked toward the kitchen together. Audrey and Josh, sitting on the sofa, glanced at them as they walked inside. Hopefully everything would turn out for the better.

"I hope this goes okay," Josh said.

"I do too," Audrey replied. "Josh, what exactly did you say to Ford?"

"Not much," Josh replied. Drake and Megan didn't know, but Josh had had a quick conversation with Ford. About what, not even Audrey knew.

Drake and Megan sat next to each other in the kitchen. Drake had no idea how he would keep from losing his temper this time.

"Drake," Ford began, "I know our last conversation didn't go very well. There were some things I wanted to tell you that I didn't get the chance to say, and I owe a rather large explanation to Megan. I guess I'm going to start from the beginning."

"You mean when you left us?" Drake interjected.

"Do you even remember why your mother and I divorced?" Ford asked.

"Because...uh..."

"I didn't think so."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Drake responded.

"You have no idea what you're talking about. You barely remember what happened. You were angry; you wanted to forget, and you did."

Drake was quiet. Why did he have to be right? Well, whether or not Drake wanted to recall why his parents divorced in the first place didn't change the fact that Ford had run away from them. Drake decided to try and keep quiet and listen like he promised Walter he would. Besides, if he didn't, he might really snap.

"Now," Ford continued, "when the relationship between your mother and I first started to fall apart, we stayed together for you two. However, the arguments grew worse. Part of the problem was, I didn't love your mother anymore, but I think she still loved me."

Drake took that in for a moment. Maybe that was why he had been able to move on quickly and Audrey had taken a while longer to find someone else.

"I didn't think we'd end up divorced," Ford went on. "But eventually, your mother became increasingly upset because I wasn't being romantic. She accused me of having an affair, which I didn't, but all the same, she realized I didn't love her the way I used to love her. It was difficult to calm her down."

"I don't understand something," Megan said.

Ford looked a little startled. He hadn't heard Megan's voice in years.

"What?" Ford asked gently.

"How could you not love Mom anymore? After over eleven years?" she asked.

"I know," Ford replied. "We rushed quickly into marriage, and you would wonder why I didn't realize I wasn't in love anymore sooner. I think I started denying that the love was fading a while before that. I missed the rush of when we were young. I wanted to love your mom, I really did, but it just wasn't there anymore. Audrey soon figured that out and we began to argue. You two were never around, but there were sometimes when the arguments would get out of control, and someone would run into another room in tears. I wished I could be in love again, but it wasn't there. As much as I wanted it to be there, for you kids, for your mom and me, it was gone. When your mom started the accusations of me having an affair, we realized that even if we tried to have a relationship to raise you kids, it wouldn't happen without trust either. Ultimately, we decided to get a divorce."

"That would explain why you two divorced," Drake said. "But it still doesn't explain why you ran away and why you stopped writing to me."

"True, I did do those things. Before I explain, I have something to show you, Drake." Ford picked up his bag and pulled out a box. It was a shoebox decorated for Father's Day that Megan had made in preschool before the divorce. Drake was shocked to see it again. Ford slid the box over to Drake. Drake stared at it, wondering what could possibly be inside of it. "Well, go ahead and open it," Ford said. "It's not going to bite."

Drake slowly pulled the lid off of the box and glanced inside at the contents. He was surprised at what he found. He reached his hand in and pulled out an envelope, addressed to Ford in New York. Drake opened the envelope and found the letter he'd written seven years ago. He slowly began to look through the rest of the box. It was full of letters and emails that Drake had written to Ford since he ran away to New York. Drake barely noticed the tear slipping down his cheek. He quickly brushed it away before Megan could see. Why had Ford kept all these? Did they really matter to him?

"Every one you ever sent is in there, Drake," Ford said.

"Why did you keep them?" Drake asked.

"Now it's time for me to explain why I left," Ford said. "Maybe that will give you your answer."

Drake put the letters back in the box and slipped the lid back on the top.

"When your mother and I first divorced, I was going to leave, you all knew that. However, I was going to go to an apartment closer to where you lived. That way I could still see the two of you. After a time I thought long and hard about what I was going to do. I thought about what I wanted to leave the two of you with when I left the house. I realized that what I was wasn't the best for you to know. I didn't want you to see that a family should exist without love and trust between everyone. I was scared that the two of you would grow up and not think about love when it came to a relationship."

Drake turned red. Part of him wanted to shout at Ford that because of that, he'd become that way. But then, part of him wanted to keep listening. Thankfully, those days were over for him. He did miss them every once in a while, but for the most part, he was happy with his choice. Maybe he hadn't cared for Melissa as much as he should have, but it was nice to be committed to one person. Perhaps someday he'd have that again, and it would be true.

"I left because I was afraid the two of you would become like me. That you'd grow up and love would not be a priority in your family. It should always be number one. I didn't want you to do make that mistake. That's why I left. I figured it would be better if you just had a mom who loved you without a man who didn't love her in your lives as well. I stopped writing because of that reason as well. I wanted to know you, Drake, but I didn't want you to know me. That's why I kept the letters, but that's also why I didn't respond to them anymore. I was scared. I was a coward. I wish I hadn't been now, but it's what happened. I've always made rash decisions. They do often hurt people, and I want it to stop. Now, Megan, the reason I didn't communicate with you was because I was worried about what your mother would think. Granted, I should have written to you. You're my daughter. However, I was worried about everything I'd already done and didn't want to cause anymore damage. I made the wrong decision. I've always made mistakes. I want to make up for them. You shocked me when you showed up last year, Drake. I realized then that I had to fix things between the three of us. I hope you two can forgive me."

Megan looked up at Drake. She was looking for an answer, what she found when she looked in Drake's eyes shocked her. There were tears. Drake was crying.

"I do forgive you," Drake said.

"I do too," Megan agreed.

"I just hate the fact that you were never around," Drake said. "I went through middle school and the first year of high school without a dad. It was hard. Megan went through most of elementary school without one. It's not easy at all. It hurt. But, I know it takes a lot to own up to mistakes. I know I've made a few. All you can do is try to fix them."

"Thank you for understanding, Drake," Ford said. "I don't expect you to love me either. I just want you to understand me. And, finally," Ford said. "Bobby. He still doesn't know about either of you. As soon as he's old enough to understand, I'll tell him, but right now, he's only six, and I'm afraid he wouldn't understand this at all."

"I guess so," Drake replied.

"Um, I'd like to be alone," Megan said.

"Fine," Ford nodded. He was exhausted from the explanation he'd given, but there was still something he needed to talk to Drake about. He waited until Megan had gone up the stairs. Apparently, Drake had been waiting as well.

"Listen," Drake said. "I know after all you've said, you still did care, but after not speaking to you for years, I just can't call you 'Dad' anymore. It's not fair to me, and it's not fair to Walter."

"I understand," Ford said. He expected that. Drake accepted Walter as his dad now. "I wanted to talk to you about something else."

"What?" Drake asked.

"Your brother Josh told me about a problem you've been having with Christine."

Drake turned red. Why was Josh talking to Ford in the first place?

"Now, before you get upset, don't worry about it. Listen. I know you don't want to tell her you care about her because you're afraid you'll hurt her, and you don't want to be like me. Like I said, I don't want you to be like me either, which is why you have to tell her."

"What?" Drake asked.

"I know I said I didn't love your mom anymore, but after a while of being alone, I realized I did still love her. I didn't want Megan to know that and I don't want your mom to know that. It just isn't explainable. Things just weren't as perfect in our marriage as I expected them to be, and I wasn't expecting that. I didn't try to bring back the old spark we used to have."

"Why didn't you try and talk to Mom again? You knew you loved her. You even told us you thought she still loved you."

"Yeah. I did, but I broke her heart, and I heart you and Megan. I couldn't go back after that. After I was in New York, I began to regret everything that had happened. Please don't make that mistake. If there's anyway you shouldn't be like me, that's it. Go find her and tell her that you care."

"But what if..."

"What if she doesn't care about you? What if she does? Don't give up on something when you haven't even tried hard enough for it. After a while, I realized that I could never have your mom back. I do regret what's happened, but I don't regret marrying again. I know what to do this time, but I wish I didn't have to find out the way I did. I don't want you to find out you lost the woman you love and still love sometime in your future. Go tell her."

"It's just not that easy," Drake replied. "She doesn't even want to date right now. She wants to focus on school."

"Drake, everyone needs love. You know that."

Drake didn't understand this. Ford was making sense. Everything he'd said ended up being right. Well, Drake was never going to look at Ford as a father figure ever again, but maybe he was right about Christine. Drake thought about how miserable he was when she was dating David. Then he thought about how out of control his emotions got when he found her diary. Drake sighed. How could he show her he cared about her more than David had? How could he show her that his feelings were more than friendship? Maybe by showing that he paid attention to her and that he knew what she liked and didn't like? He thought about the conversations they'd had before and tried to search for something that would help him out. Finally he stood up and looked at Ford. Walter had been right about Ford helping him out someday. Would Ford ever need him, though? He had Bobby and his new wife to help him when he needed it.

"I have to go take care of something," Drake said.

"Christine?" Ford asked.

Drake nodded. He checked to make sure he had his wallet and headed out the door.

Ford sighed. He'd always expected Drake would eventually end up with Christine. Drake had written to him that she'd moved away. He hadn't been responding then. It was the last letter Drake sent him. Ford didn't blame him. Now, he didn't want Drake to end up without someone he cared about.

"I don't want you to end up like me," Ford whispered. "What I want you to be is someone who doesn't let go of love, and does everything they can to hold onto it." Ford didn't know why he was still talking to Drake. After all, he had already left. But, it was the truth. Ford put Megan's shoebox back in his bag and pulled out two envelopes, one with Drake's name and one with Megan's name. He left them on the table. It was contact information. If they wanted it, they could have it when they were ready.

A/N: So...you might still hate Ford and think Drake's a fool for forgiving him, but I figured in the situation, Drake would. Also, he doesn't see him as his father either. I hope you can see where Drake stands on the issue. I've got one chapter left. I really don't have much of part three done. It may be a while before I even begin to post that, but it should be worth the wait. Either way, one chapter left of part two.