To Secret Companion: Well, if you wanna keep this awkward exchange of messages by me replying in the introduction of every chapter and everyone seeing, then by all means don't make an account :D But it's a bit frustrating for me, as you might have guessed. To answer your question: I have seen it and I went haywires, even though they spoiled too much. It brought me relief to know that there will be enough Old Gods and darkspawn business aaaaand that apparently we will meet Hawke and the Warden (if that was just a hoax I will fucking kill someone). Gaider kept saying the tale of the Warden is done, but maybe he kept saying that just to make our surprise even bigger when he/she shows up, even if they won't really play a big role (KING OF SEMANTICS THAT GAIDER IS, no wonder he was the one that wrote Fenris). Only thing I wish is that I could sleep 'til November, really :)
His hand was not only colder, but it was stronger. No, not in the physical sense, although that was also true. As sturdy and robust as her trained hand was, it was still had the petite womanly, more fragile form in his much larger, muscular one. But this was not about strength, as much as it was about … some kind of curious magnification. It was vehement and motioning, though she did nothing. "Fenris," she said in amazement, inhaling quickly as her eyes widened. She felt it and she saw his markings glowing blue. The searing energy; it had a will of its own and she was absorbing it. "Are you doing this?"
"No, but I can feel it," Fenris said with distress in his tone. "What is it?"
"I think," she paused and let the energy flow rapidly in her veins. "I think your markings are giving me strength."
Fenris frowned in confusion. "But I'm not a mage; I can't heal you."
"You're not healing, you're…" she frowned and examined the feeling, "…giving me your energy. The lyrium gives you the power and you don't need to be a mage; I need to be one," she said with her tone heightening by the second, almost about to smile, "But we're both doing this."
He shook his head hesitantly. "I don't understand. I'm giving you the lyrium?"
"No, it is already burned in your skin, it can't be taken out." She arched her eyebrow and continued, "The matter is what it is doing. It amplifies my magic."
He remembered how she explained to him in the Deep Roads that the markings did half the job in healing him, because she was deeply inexperienced and there was no way she could have directed the spell with such precision. "So it works both ways?" Fenris asked in amazement. "I can enhance your regeneration?"
"If you're good-intentioned; if you allow it. Yes, I think you can," Hawke said quickly and started to smile with all her teeth. "This is amazing. I feel it everywhere."
"Good," Fenris said sharply. "You will save a lot of coin on potions then."
"No!" she shouted quickly. "This is a nice trick, but it's not without consequence. Don't you feel a little light-headed?"
"I… don't know. I was already weak."
She sought to take her hand away in an instant, but he caught it insistently and wouldn't let go. "Take it, Hawke. It matters little now if it gives me a bit of haze."
"…Fine," she muttered in annoyance. She let the pressure in her heart go and focused on the energy from his withered calloused palm, though much focus wasn't necessary. It was as if the energy had a mind of its own, offering permissions with no speck of conscious thought. "You really are a double-edged sword."
She heard Fenris chuckle from the other side, "Will wonders-"
"Never cease," Hawke finished joyfully. A little joke came back to her. "An iron fist quietly sits inside the velvet glove."
"Isn't it the other way around?" She didn't answer. "Hawke?... Hawke!"
She was pressing her eyes tightly shut and groaned, "Let go."
"Why?" Fenris asked urgently. His hand was numb. He couldn't bring motion to it. "I can't."
"Fenris, let go," she repeated commandingly. "Damn it," she shouted and tried to get out of his firm grip. His fingers twitched and loosened their hold, letting her get the hand out.
"What was that?" he asked in alarm. "I went numb."
"You were already weak, like you said," Hawke said in-between panting. "Better not move up the career ladder to royally dead."
"Yes, I am quite content with being royal only if it is followed by," he said and paused to clear his throat, "pain in the ass". After a moment of silence, he sought to press, "How do you feel now?"
"Who cares? You're the one in trouble now. How is your head?" she asked in worry.
"I'm perfectly fine," Fenris almost lied. "What n-"
A large boom came about from her cell, shaking up the ground, making Fenris fall and blasting dust everywhere as a roaring wave refracted through everything. What followed was an awkward silence, before hearing Hawke's grumpy childish voice eventually going, "…Crap."
"You do realize if these bars hadn't been magically sealed I would have gotten us out by now," Fenris said grumpily as he rose from the ground.
"It didn't hurt to try," Hawke shouted back. "Well… so I made a hole in the ground. It's not like I… oh."
"Oh," Fenris repeated ironically.
"I'm sure no one heard us," Hawke said optimistically. "They're probably too busy trying to brainwash Armand."
"And somehow I find myself actually seeing that as something to hope for," Fenris said waspishly. He shook his head and sighed. "Please don't do that again." But the ground shook again with a boom and he fell to the ground again. "Venhedis. Are you trying to get us killed?" No answer. Of course she had to play childish now, as if that would lift up his spirits.
Why? Just why? With all the irrevocably crazy that had been surrounding them for years, it wasn't at all inconceivable now that his markings made her go insane. Perhaps that prayer was necessary. Perhaps he hadn't prayed enough. Just when he managed to get up, the floor collapsed beneath him in an almost precise circle. He held on to the edge as he remained suspended in the air. As he looked down, Hawke was standing with a wide and cocky smile in an empty spacious place below. "You were saying?"
"Kaffas," he cursed angrily.
"You can let go anytime now," she said in amusement.
He growled in annoyance and let himself fall. As he prepared to land on his feet, she caught him in her arms and gave him an arrogant smirk. "Abracadabra," she said mockingly and dropped him nonchalantly like a corpse.
Good thinking, taking revenge for her own amusement at such a time. He eyed her murderously as he rose from the ground. "You couldn't wait to get a chance to do that."
"Nope," Hawke said childishly.
"You realize you are like a child, I hope," Fenris growled disapprovingly.
She chuckled as she grazed the dust off her coat, "Well good thing I have daddy here to scold me."
"Don't tell me you're going crazy and seeing the ghost of your father in me again," Fenris said angrily.
"If I did, I wouldn't call you daddy," Hawke said in amusement.
"Reckless and disturbed. What a charming mind you have," Fenris said grumpily and started to walk. "Keep me out of it."
She turned around chuckling and walked forward, then arched her eyebrow with a grin. "If only he'd spank me, too."
"This is not the time," Fenris said sharply.
As he caught up with her, she gave him a cocky smirk. "So you're saying there'll be a time?" Hawke laughed. "Is that a promise?"
He drew up a faint ghost of a smile through his hair. "If you get us out of here alive, make no mistake that I will personally ensure you are disciplined correctly."
"I should start saving up on compresses, then," Hawke said in amusement, then frowned. "And look who's not playing Mr. Innocent doesn't-get-dirty-talk anymore."
He didn't answer, but she could see a small contained grin on his face before being enveloped by the darkness of the corridor they entered. She stopped suddenly and whispered, "Wait. This is reckless."
"Now you realize?" Fenris whispered back grumpily.
"Do I need to remind you how you ended up in here?" Hawke whispered angrily. He remained silent as he admitted defeat. "Didn't think so."
"I don't recognize this part of the catacombs," Fenris said quietly.
"Well we can't sit here and wait to get ambushed again." She put a hand over her forehead. "Ah, think, think, think."
Fenris contained his laugh. "Is your brain defying your wishes, little Hawke?"
"Stop that," she hissed angrily.
"Stop what?" he asked in confusion.
"The ever so subtle dirty jokes," she said. "I need to concentrate."
He crossed his arms in amusement. "I'm sorry, am I suddenly to understand that you can't think clearly in my presence?"
"No!" Hawke said assertively and sighed. "Now I wish I'd brought that Magical Ball of Fortune with me and gag you with it."
He snorted and remained unimpressed, saying in a sarcastic grumpy tone, "Oh, talk dirty to me."
"Oh, you want dirty talk? I'll give you dirty talk, just you wait," she threatened angrily.
Fenris tried to contain his laugh again. "Let us focus on one thing at a time. Getting out of here would be a reasonable main priority, I suspect."
"Exactly my point a minute ago, genius," Hawke said meanly. "Ah, if only …" Then it hit her, remembering her fall in front of the blood mage and the childish father references now.
"If only?"
Hawke sighed and smiled crookedly. "Can you be a dear and turn into an elven torch light for a few seconds?"
She heard him sigh grumpily in the dark before glowing blue. "Thank you ever so much," she said childishly and brought up her hands together.
"Is there a point to this?" Fenris asked calmly.
"More like a speck in space," Hawke said joyfully and closed her eyes to concentrate. A little bulb of light started to form spherically around the contour of her hands. It immediately started to fly around them as if it had a mind of its own. As it came near him, Fenris ducked down and growled angrily. The shimmering little orb hovered over and its magical hum tickled the hairs on the back of his neck. "Relax, Fenris. It won't bite."
He came back up and sighed as he turned off his glow. "I hope it has a function though."
"It does. It's going to find our friends," Hawke said confidently.
"What in blazes is it?" Fenris whispered angrily.
"Uh, it's a wisp?" she whispered back. "Haven't you seen one before?"
"Yes, all the time. Magisters just go head over heels for little summoned flying snowflakes, you know, when they're too tired summoning demons," Fenris said grumpily.
"You're right," Hawke said joyfully. "It does look like a little snowflake. I'll call it Fenris."
"Great," Fenris pretended sarcastically. "And when we get back home, remind me to name the three ugly mushrooms growing on my floor Hildegaard, Bianca and Hawke."
She snorted. "Joke's on you, Fenris, for having bad taste," Hawke stung back calmly.
She returned to concentrating on the tiny wisp with barely any consciousness to call its own. It was humming playfully in front of her, so she raised her palm to catch its attention. "I need you to be quiet," she whispered suavely. "You can do that, can't you?"
"And now she's talking to flying light balls," Fenris said in an ironic tone.
"Maybe I should have let you rot in that cage, hm?" Hawke said meanly. He rolled his eyes and decided to leave her do what she was doing. A tiny part of him still had her under a wild suspicion that she was not in her right mind because of her withdrawal. He killed that thought in his mind, because some things he did not want to remember. The horror she put him through in the Deep Roads, he did not need to see again.
The wisp dimmed and started spinning joyfully throughout the corridor. After a few moments, they could barely see it anymore. He pressed, "How exactly is it going to find them?"
"It's a summoned speck of a spirit," Hawke said and before he could frown and start with his magic paranoia, she added, "A good spirit. It will only find whoever is good to me. If it senses anything else it will simply fly back at me and let me know and if it encounters hostility, it explodes and deals damage. So it's a win-win."
"It seems your friend is getting distracted," Fenris said calmly, as they moved through the corridor and the wisp started tethering to every possible object and wall.
"It takes a bit until it gets used to this world," Hawke explained. "Good spirits, even the tiny speck of one; they do not have interest in crossing the Veil and they don't wish to linger whence they understand they have crossed it. They will return immediately, unless a mage asks them with the purest heart that they need their help."
"Oh? I imagine Anders must have had the purest heart when he asked that spirit of justice to help," Fenris said sarcastically as they walked side by side in the dark.
"That's different. Justice didn't cross the Veil by choice; he was cast out. If such a thing happens, the spirit can't cross back and it inevitably inhabits whatever corpse they encounter."
He had forgotten that part. "And he thought it was a good idea to do the spirit a favour and merge with him."
"That was not a good idea. I still stand by that," Hawke said calmly. "I'm not an expert at this, though. Father never mentioned anything about beings merging with spirits. Which only proves it is unnatural, I suspect."
"You suspect?" Fenris asked ironically.
"Well, it's still a good spirit," Hawke sighed. "But nevertheless, you're probably right. I mean, as far as I know, spirits are only good and useful if they are summoned. They retain their mind and will and help the mage with healing or protection, but not much else. That's kind of why I've never even heard of spirits of justice in the physical world. The only ones you hear of are of compassion or fortitude. They're living, objective virtues that have only one way of doing things: help, protect, heal. Justice… well, justice is more complicated than that. It depends on the one who wishes it upon the world. It… can be subjective."
"It turns into vengeance," Fenris said sharply, more to himself.
"Pretty much," Hawke said bitterly. "But enough. It's dangerous to make sounds in here."
"I agree," Fenris said calmly. Maybe she wasn't going crazy. She seemed in her right mind and reasonable enough in her explanations.
She whispered sometimes to the tiny spirit to come back if it sensed magic or saw a one-eyed raven statue and they would soon turn around and go through another passage that wasn't harbouring any magical wards. For a time, it seemed as though they had been passing through the same corridor over and over again. Hawke kept vigilant and focused, but hear and then she would look at Fenris in the dimness and see his face twitching and containing what she could only suspect were groans of discomfort. She didn't want to make him feel mothered, not unless he really was having trouble and his health was decreasing, but how could one even begin to guess what he felt? He understood and swallowed pain better than anybody. Sometimes she'd mistake his subtle flinches of pain for giving her the saucy eyebrow and then she would feel stupid. The only times she could be certain he was being in serious pain is when he was actually bleeding. She contained these thoughts, soon about to break and blast at him.
But it wasn't necessary, as it turned out. He finally stopped, his face appearing feverish and gasping for air. There he stood, his forehead pressed to the bars on the wall, both hands clutching at the iron. She saw his face wrinkled deeply in his wary scowl, the painful flutter of his gaze, a thin layer of sweat clinging to his cheek.
"You're not alright," Hawke said in a sharp, disapproving tone.
He shook his head. He tried to speak but he couldn't. He tried to gesture but he couldn't. His heart thundered in his chest. He glanced back at her and the small far-flung light of the wisp coming back from a distance to get beside her, but getting distracted and whirling around the walls. She heard his heart galloping and the shock, his fear, and it was fear for her, not for him. Fear that some awful fate could befall them because he was losing the state to function.
"Fenris, come here," Hawke pressed calmly. But he wouldn't. He clung to the bars stubbornly, right arm hooked around and left hand clasping it as if he wouldn't be moved. She told him back there, she told him it was going to weaken him, but he wouldn't listen. "Damn it, Fenris."
She issued the wisp to come back as fast as it could and once it arrived, luminously twirling and floating around her, she looked at it and said in a warm voice, "I need you do one other thing for me. Would you help me with another thing?" The wisp spun around and hummed excitedly, its small ethereal threads on the edges swaying in the air and glowing with an incandescent white. "Alright. Come with me," she said calmly as the wisp came into her palm. She approached Fenris, who was trying with his whole being to contain every bit of gasp and pant that were attempting to get out.
The light from the little spirit shimmered in her big, childlike eyes and he could see they were filled with concern and a bit of anger towards him. He hung on the bars, his eyes drawing a sorrowful look as if he was apologizing for being a burden. She knew this and she rolled her eyes, quite fittingly. Another second and he would have burst, but she caught him by the shoulder and told him, "I need you to keep it together and trust me. Can you do that for me?"
What a sublime, delightful tone she had, even amidst this wreckage and havoc. For a moment, he didn't even think she was talking to him, but instead to the wisp, because she spoke so gently that she seemed like a flower in bloom. He swallowed heavily in his throat and clenched his teeth before he gave her a silent nod.
"Still your heart," Hawke said quietly. He looked down at her, his chest heaving as though he were out of breath. "I'll take care of you."
In the following moment, as the wisp floated up from her palm, little soft threads of light on its edges started to tether to his body and to her hand, almost seeming semi-liquid or gooey as they touched him. It sent flows of incredibly mellow, gentle energy in his veins. A good, forbearing spirit it was. There was no malice or cruel intent in it, not even desire. It felt as if only the merest fraction of its being was crossing into his body, like the twinkling of a divine eye. The strength of the wisp solaced his skin and travelled in his insides without so much as a speck of pain or a twitch from him. It was a sentient manifestation of the charge that bound particles together, a cooperative and compassionate force and the perfect expression of the mysteries of the universe. Only not to forget, it was not doing it alone. It was helping the mage beside him and this compassionate force was coming just as much from the spirit as it was from her.
Once it was done, the tether broke and tiny sparkles went shimmering around them and landing on his face. They felt like faint drops of water, perhaps they really were. The wisp twinkled again happily and Hawke laughed and whispered to it, "Thank you. Now can you stay quiet again? We'll soon be on our way."
Fenris remained a bit dazed in his head - but not from the pain. No, the pain was gone. The fever was gone. The curious haze was rooted into this sudden sensation of Hawke's healing touch through the wisp; it was light, he felt like a feather or just some point in the air, floating and looking at the world as if he was out of it and wanted to come back. As if one suddenly felt the urge to speak to flowers, pick them up in handfuls or talk urgently with the stars. The night would never desert him and remained faithful under Hawke's protective presence. He felt as if he was on the roof of his mansion with her again, when he had the sudden realization that he wasn't going to die; that loneliness and neglect were simply insufficient, and he could always either preserve his immunity to them or change for the better if only he breathed on.
"Thank you, Hawke," he finally whispered hoarsely.
"Don't thank me, thank this little guy," she said joyfully with the wisp flickering around her head. "It likes you." He hated himself for suddenly having such a good time in a miserable moment like this, thinking of dancing with her through the corridors. He pretended to brush his hair away from his forehead, in reality slapping himself to reality. He would have to hit himself over the face more often.
Once his proud calm came back, he answered, "It does, doesn't it?" he said softly with a faint, vaguely warm expression. "Thank you, Ser Wisp." The spirit spun around excitedly again, this time around him, tickling the back of his neck again and soothing his hair as it twirled and hummed in what one could only name as pure joy.
"Guardian wisp," Hawke corrected him quietly. "I think that would be an appropriate role."
"Indeed," Fenris said flatly, his eyes rotating as they followed the dance of the wisp that started bobbing and floating around the walls again. It didn't seem far-fetched to assume, that in a way, her fate and role were rather similar to the newly appointed one belonging to the wisp. If they would ever discuss the depths of the Qun again, he would have to remember to tell her this realization.
After a while, they stopped once they saw the remnants of some light coming from a torch. An opening was near and the wisp went through it excitedly. Fenris could see that this tensed Hawke, which was not a good sign. But as they remained calm and quiet for a minute, the wisp finally came back bobbing and swirling happily into her palm. He saw the subtle lines of her expression shift and her eyes widen and set blankly into the distance. "Hawke?" he whispered in worry.
She didn't answer, seeming as if she were in a paralyzed trance. He put a hand over her shoulder, then her face finally twitched and she drew away. "Sorry. I always lose myself and get the shivers when it sends me images of what it saw."
"That's what it did?" Fenris asked in amazement. "How?"
"That, I don't know how to answer," Hawke whispered calmly. "It's just one of those things."
That were bound to remain a mystery. He thought of the painting in his mansion, the one with the beautiful lively scenery above and the lake of fire and lost souls below. He would remember to always hold alive in his soul the definition of good. He would also remember just how remarkably titanic the difference was between things like this spirit, the little wisp or this strong and kind-hearted mage beside him; and the blasphemous and bestial creatures the magisters here and the demons beyond were.
Truly colossal difference.
Beyond all cosmic proportions.
"I need you to do what more thing for me, and then you're free to go back," Hawke whispered in warm tone to the guardian wisp. "Distract the assassins. We'll come from behind, no worries."
The luminous spirit complied and shot off in the direction from whence it came, followed quietly by the two warriors. Once it entered the new room, they heard a drab Antivan-sounding language being articulated in the form of curses followed by spits. Fenris rushed swiftly in the darkness of a corner and assaulted the first guard he saw. With his markings glowing again, he hit a soft point and put the elf to sleep. He would not kill unless it was in defence. They stripped him of all his hidden weapons. Not much. Two black stilettos, an Antivan pocket knife and a cross-guarded longsword. Fenris picked up the longsword and gave it to Hawke an instant. He could do fine without one, having the markings up his sleeve, whereas she needed all the defence she could get. They didn't say a word to each other, their strategy well known between each other by now, and moved forward past the empty cells. The wisp flickered in the distance and rushed back to Hawke to send her images of the next room.
"I see someone," she whispered the in the faintest possible voice.
His eyes flinched and widened, preparing for whatever plan they had and completely forgetting why he became tense. "And?"
"He's beaten up and chained to the wall. Nothing else. There was a figure, but it left. Either that or it's a statue. The wisp can see, but not perceive and give meaning to things that are completely alien to it," she explained, then drew her sword out. "Let's go."
The wisp went in first and tethered itself to the chained figure in the dense darkness far from the beaten path. Good sign? It was too dark to see and the light of the wisp became much too weak, so Fenris decided to turn on his markings. Zevran. He was excruciatingly bruised all over his body, bare-chested and full of sharp cuts. He also had a deep cut over the two-lined tattoo on his face and another one over his neck, as if someone threatened him with death and offered him a quick demonstration.
"Zevran, can you hear me?" Hawke whispered in alarm as she tethered herself to the wisp to give it more light and energy to give to him. "Oi!"
It was a horrifying sight, even if he had seen this time a dozen in his life as a slave. Zevran's head hung low and swollen, half of it flowing with blood dropping to the ground and the once strong, but childlike expression, his aura of innocence, they were stained with the gore of evil. It became a cruel reminder of powerful men inflicting pain on others just for their amusement. Just to see how much they can crush something smaller than them without actually killing it; leaving it to whimper, suffer and rot in its helplessness. He would not remember. More so, that he was beginning to imagine – what if Hawke had pissed these people off with all her might, that he would come to find her here instead of this elf; stripped, bloody, scarred and beaten, almost lifeless and far beyond a chance to survive, since she was the only one who had the power to heal. Her eyes stripped of their radiance and the rich lines of her expression numbed out and cancelled, painting only a ghost of what she once had been. He would not imagine. This was not the time to go mad.
He knew he would go mad.
Vividly, the threads of the spherical guardian spirit glued to Zevran's bloody neck; at once it begun palpitating and his face shifted, but only in subtle, faint lines of movement, his eyes still closed and his breathing less than scarce. "Zevran, open your eyes. Do you hear me?" Hawke said in a quiet, soothing tone. "You're not dying on me now, you bloody idiot. Come back to me."
Zevran's pale lips flinched and his teeth gritted before he let out a ghost of a gasp. Then he said in the most warm tone they had ever heard, "Cara mia." Fenris went straight for the chains and punched them loose, as Hawke kept the tether alive and tried as much as she could to sustain the spell, although she was becoming weak. Zevran started to twitch his lips again and his eyebrows joined in a scowl, as he titled his head and lifted an arm with such difficulty one would think he was held back by invisible massive plates. He immediately coughed up blood and held on to Hawke's shoulder, then his palm came to her cheek. "Thank you, cara," he said in a hoarse voice, with his eyes half-open. "Let us go home."
He was seeing his wife. There was no time to correct him or snap at him to wake up in full vigilance. Patience. Patience was key. She let him hold on to her, with Fenris holding him by the arm from on his other side. This was not an ideal way of handling things. The wisp was too busy, Hawke was too busy. He had to watch out for surprises, so he kept his eyes forward.
"Forgive me, cara," Zevran said again in his hazed state, then he coughed brutally. "I should have listened to you."
"You're alright," Hawke replied firmly. She was beginning to lose her vision, but she wouldn't stop now. She let the wisp continue its work and didn't even begin to let herself think to ask Fenris to do their new private trick again. "Come on, Zev, open your eyes." She might as well play along with his dazed impression. "For me?"
"Anything for you," Zevran replied with the most determined voice, despite the painful huskiness that accompanied the tone. He eventually managed to open his eyes and stand on his own two feet without falling. When Hawke broke the tether and let the wisp float around bump into walls again as if it needed a break to replenish its energy by hitting itself (or perhaps it simply wanted to go back to the Fade – yes that was more likely), it appeared as though Zevran finally came to his senses. Breathing heavily, he widened his eyes with a terrified lift to his eyebrows. "Cara, where did you go?"
"She had to leave. I'm her taller clownish replacement," Hawke said in amusement.
"Braska," he cursed like a child, in-between panting.
"Where are the others?" Hawke pressed. "Oh and look where our swords went," she said and pointed at the sword-stand near the torture rack.
"Oh, give me a moment," Zevran said in pain. "Shit. This is what dicks in vinegar feel like."
"I… could have lived without knowing that," Hawke said while chuckling. "Where are the others?"
"Ah, we got ambushed. It overwhelmed us," Zevran said in pain.
Hawke's breathing could not get more haunted. "Us?" Her tone could not be more contained. She clenched her teeth. She couldn't wait. Not for this elf to bounce back to reality, not for anything.
"I let your dwarven friend escape. As for Amadeo, I truly do not know," Zevran stated quietly.
"You let my friend escape?" Hawke asked in amazement. "Heh," she let out the air out of her voice in relief. "You truly are a professional good-doer." This was good. Varric was a mastermind in remaining invisible. He would be well. He had to be.
"I told you I am no liar," Zevran said confidently. He swayed a bit and let the bones in his spine crack as he stretched. "You know I had the weirdest dream?"
Hawke got out a compress from her hidden pockets and rapidly grazed all his cuts. "What was the dream about?"
He coughed and swayed a bit, almost tripping on his own feet. "I was falling down a flight of stairs and ended in a pit full of beautiful, radiant virgins. A macabre voice came about my ears, it was the Devil. He told me I had to deflower all of them to get out and if I didn't comply, they would all turn into hideous snakes and devour me for days and leaving me to die in agony."
"Here we go again," Fenris said grumpily with his head still turned to the door that separated them from hypothetical disaster.
"Exactly so. Here we go again," Zevran said in a serious voice. "Can you imagine? Having to go through all that nasty trouble again and again and again? Ay, caramba!" he almost shouted childishly and shook his head.
"I think he's fine now," Fenris said sharply. "Let us leave."
"And then mi cara showed herself to me. She took me away from that filth and raised me to the heavens," Zevran said softly as he breathed in and out. "Oh, and it was you, in fact. Ah, perhaps she sent you to me," he said deliriously, then finally shook his head rapidly and came back to his senses. He looked at Hawke and nodded knightly, "Forgive me, my dear. I was not in my right mind."
"No offence taken," Hawke said in amusement. "I never heard anyone speaking so warmly to a ghost before."
"What? Is it that inconceivable that I am capable of love?" Zevran asked in a bit of make-believe outrage as he sat down on a box.
"No, of course not," Hawke said sharply, circling her foot around the ground. "You can have plenty of love," she said with a smile, then arched an eyebrow. "Curable by marriage."
"Oh, what a cynic you are," Zevran sneered. "I grew up amongst whores and fucked half of Antiva and even then I was still not as doubtful as you."
"What? I just made a joke, lighten up," Hawke said with a raised eyebrow, not realizing Fenris was listening in carefully.
"My dear, half of any joke is just the bare truth," Zevran said as he tried to come back to all his senses. He put a hand over his forehead and tried to breathe. "And one does not need to be a genius or a clairvoyant to see do not see butterflies, rainbows and unicorns in your future."
"Yes, exactly so," Hawke snorted. "Idealism is not my strong key."
"Ah, but it needn't be," Zevran said calmly. "One simply needs to bump heads with reality before it hits them square in the jaw. Ah, but all these thoughts are moot. You will see when the time comes."
"Are you done yet?" Hawke asked with vivid annoyance in her tone. "Can you stand up?"
"Patience," Zevran said with a scowl. "Also, now I really do feel bad for your friend over there."
"I'm sensing another earth-shattering lesson coming about," Fenris finally joined in annoyance.
"Well, she makes you bark up her leg, taunting you with a bone you can't have. That much is clear, my friend," Zevran said calmly.
"I am not barking on anyone's leg," Fenris said in a sharp, controlled tone. "And you would do well to keep to your business."
"Ah, fine," Zevran yielded nonchalantly. "You two are a pain in my head anyway. Quite frankly, you deserve each other." He paused awkwardly as if he just realized he was insulting her. "I did not mean literally. I am grateful that you rescued and healed me, my friend. Forgive my impertinence."
"That's what I wanted to hear," Hawke said sarcastically. "Any time you're ready," she said impatiently.
Zevran tried to stand up, tumbling a bit in his walk towards them. "I did not mean to offend, my friends. But quite frankly, you would do well to look at me as proof it does get better if you stop fidgeting so much and brooding on your eggs of despair."
"Keep walking," Hawke interrupted his speech sharply. She sighed and called upon the wisp again. "Just a little bit more, my friend. I need you to find the others. If you don't want to, you can go back."
"See! That's it, right there!" Zevran almost shouted childishly.
"What is?" Hawke asked in confusion.
"That's how you make a marriage work!" he said eagerly and gestured while explaining, "You give the other the freedom to choose what they do next. You assure them of the safety that whichever decision they make is never the wrong one."
"We are in a prison," Fenris said sharply. "We are still missing two people, who are probably dead for all we know," he continued disapprovingly, "And somehow we're stuck with a former perverted assassin who is giving us soul teachings about eternal love and successful marriages." He looked up at the ceiling and sighed heavily. "If this is not a dream, mark my words; I will never ever doubt that the Maker exists anymore. No amount of hazardous particles floating about at random could ever gather up the strength to have such a poor sense of humour."
"Fenris… I can't even begin to express in words how right you are at this point," Hawke agreed grumpily.
"Good, let him be right once in a while. That also works wonders," Zevran said charmingly.
"Shut it, Romeo," Hawke hissed angrily, as they followed the wisp through the new dark passage.
Zevran grinned as he followed then and pointed at Hawke. "See, that… that you do not want to do, my dear." He paused to enjoy the murderous look she began to give him as they walked. "Not unless you're shouting orders either in battle or in the bedroom," he continued with his tips, amusing himself to bits at their annoyance.
"You're such a pie," Hawke said mockingly.
"Yes, I am a fountain of eternal clarity and wisdom," Zevran mused joyfully. "You would do well to listen to me, my dear."
"I'm too busy trying to save our sodding arses," Hawke said angrily, trying not to let the wisp craze and get distracted. She stopped and called upon it again in her thoughts so it would give her vision of the next room.
"Ah, exactly so. You are so much like my cara," Zevran said playfully. "Always too busy rescuing others, no one there to rescue her. Until I came along, of course."
"Oh yes, when you came to kill her," Fenris stung sharply.
"And look how it all turned out!" Zevran said joyfully while raising his hands in the air. "I am free, well, almost free – considering the prison – and I am a happy man. If the fortune teller in the whorehouse I grew up in had told me that such marvellous turn of events would be in store for me, I would have spat and laughed in her face."
"Not everyone is as lucky as you," Hawke said calmly. "But I get your point. You make the most of where you are, and it might surprise you how much you have just under your nose."
"She speaks words of wisdom, but does not see it for herself," Zevran said in amusement. "Ah, you are a fine one, Hawke."
"I'm a mage, as you have may have recently noticed," Hawke said with discomfort in her tone. "Like I said, not everyone can be as luck as you."
"Psht! As if that makes any difference," Zevran mused confidently. "You live, breathe and have a heart that beats just the same as me and big bad Fenris next to me." She had to admit, it was rather fascinating how little this elf cared for differences of any kind, let alone the fact that he was speaking freely to a human and condoning relationships between her race and his as if it was no titanic matter whatsoever.
"Oh, tell him there's happiness in store for him. Just test that and see what happens," Hawke grinned confidently.
"He's a man, my dear. It's fairly easy to make a man happy. They don't need to sit down and think on it or even realize that it's happening," Zevran said confidently.
"Really? Never would have guessed that," Hawke asked mockingly.
Zevran laughed quietly. "Men are very simple. And because they are so simple, the woman was created to, well, how to put it…"
"Complicate everything?" Fenris finally joined again.
"Na, that is a bit harsh," Zevran said calmly. "Let's say women exist to make up for the blind spots of men, for some fairly simple concepts are curiously hard for us to grasp. Like a glowing wisp to guide us in the dark," he said and pointed at the spirit in the distance. "And there are so many blind spots, am I right, my friend?" he asked and elbowed Fenris.
"I stopped paying attention after na," Fenris said in a serious tone.
"I stopped paying attention for a good half hour," Hawke sneered and walked faster.
"Ah, you are no fun," Zevran grinned joyfully as he followed from behind, looking at the two and shaking his head in delight at their deflections.
After what seemed like an hour of roaming suspiciously empty hallways, the wisp finally gave Hawke vision of some movement about. She would have been content to encounter a full nest of blood mage only if it would mean she could return to her charming dwarven friend who never bothered to keep her teachings on matters of the heart. Fenris also was growing fairly annoyed and wished that Armand would be alive to call him little bitch again. His harsh advice and name calling was much, much more tolerable than Zevran's eternal speeches of wisdom, however sane and reasonable they might have sounded.
"I think it's them," Hawke whispered as they hid in a corner. She tried with all her energy to concentrate on the little that the wisp understood from the images and picked up a strong image of Avicus. "It's that mage. Stay here."
"Come again, Hawke?" Fenris said sharply.
Hawke rolled her eyes. "I'll go in alone. You wait and come from behind if anything bad happens."
"Say that again and I'll personally cut you," Fenris whispered angrily.
"She is right," Zevran intervened. "That mage had a fascination with her. It might benefit us to use her as bait. We could have time to go around and look for Amadeo."
"I- We are not using her as bait." His tone was angry. Hearing his distressed, controlled tone, the whole manner in which Fenris spoke, she couldn't help but draw a smile. Good thing it was dark, for she felt her cheeks suddenly burn. No time for this. Concentrate.
"I'll be fine," she said confidently. "Have a little trust, will you?"
She turned her head to look at the twirling and impatient wisp and called it back in her hand. "Thanks a bunch, friend. Couldn't have done it without you," she said knightly. "Off you go," she saluted it warmly and in a second, the air rippled in waves around the spirit and swallowed it back into the Fade with a joyful hum, as if it had said goodbye to them.
Hawke sighed and nodded at them, then turned her back and walked forward into the room. Fenris watched her open the heavy door, making a roaring clank which echoed in his thundering heart as she disappeared.
It was a grand room, full of benches and raven statues, stunning arches and all in all, an eerie but beautiful architecture. This was an altar of sorts, and a figure was sitting on a chair up front.
Avicus, the mage. He sat down, boylike, casual, with one knee crooked, his face parchment white, hair a long in a tangled mess of dark curls. He looked up at her with predictable fascination as she approached.
In a way, he made her think of a child doll, with brilliant faintly grey-blue glass eyes—a doll that had been found in an attic and sought to possess the innocent passer-by. A vagabond child of the Void, put on this earth solely to piss her off.
"Somehow I could not expect less of you," Avicus said, his grin stretching out with deeply annoying delight all over his expression.
"Yeah, I have a great sense of making an entrance," Hawke said sarcastically, controlling her anger.
"You look good to me, you damnable little devil," Avicus said while showing his sharp teeth. He inhaled with a smile, "Good to embrace and good to love."
They eyed each other for a moment. And then he surprised her, rising and coming towards her just as she moved in defence. He stopped right in front of her and suddenly caressed the length of her shoulder. His gesture wasn't tentative, but it was extremely gentle. She could have backed away. She didn't.
"Are you done?" Hawke asked demandingly. "My nap time is due and I really want my friend back before sunrise."
"Friend, she says, as if it were nothing," Avicus said softly with a grin, starting to stroke her hair. She didn't flinch.
"You will tell me where he is. And don't try your nasty trick again, because it won't work," Hawke said confidently and smirked. "I just learned a new trick."
"Oh, forgive me for that. You gave me no choice," Avicus said softly, calmly. "I truly do not intend to hurt you."
"No, you just intend to capture me and put me to good use," Hawke said unperturbed. She didn't fear him. He knew that and it annoyed him just as much as it fascinated him. She had to keep it together.
"What I intend is exactly what I have made clear to you from the beginning," Avicus said calmly. "I want to help you. I want to make you rise to the highest form of your potential. I want to give you my leadership here."
"I'm sure you're a very busy man, with much to get busy with," Hawke said and looked at the altar, which sent shivers down her spine thinking how many died on that table.
"Ah yes! I am selfish!" Avicus said with delight. "It is indeed my own selfish desire to lessen my burdens. But as you can see, there are truly few of us left that could really live up to this role."
"We are both intelligent people here. You know I'm not interested in magic, any magic, and you can assume I am very busy myself," she said and looked around, pointing out the obvious that the difference between them was colossal and she was here for the exact opposite reason he was.
"I see, I see," Avicus said. "But there's little point to continue being so busy in your current situation. I mean, I do not doubt that there are more of you hiding around here," he said and laughed softly, going in circles around her, "You do inspire loyalty wherever you go."
"Yeah, it's called being good," Hawke said sharply. "So what do you want?"
"I want you to be good. I want you to do good and far and wide," Avicus said with a broad grin. "If only you would allow me a moment of your time."
"Lesser rage demons have come up to me with better and more convincing offers," Hawke stung, remaining unimpressed as she crossed her arms.
"And that is exactly why I want you with me!" Avicus said joyfully. "You are hard to tear down, are you not? It is much too difficult for any demon to pounce on your desires, insufficiencies or vulnerabilities."
"Nah, I'm proud," Hawke lied nonchalantly.
Avicus laughed softly. "A careful choice of words is in order. You are much too proud to rule. But do you see yourself as struggling with inferiority, with inadequacy… insufficiency?"
"On the contrary," Hawke said and smirked. "I'm too much."
"Oh, you are delicious," Avicus laughed joyfully, stretching his arms out widely. "Tell me, child. How did you become so resistant? What made you so merciless and unyielding in the face of pure evil?" he almost hissed with desire and joy through his teeth.
"Who said I'm any of those things?" Hawke asked in amusement. "It's not as if you've summoned a demon to cast me into the Fade and test out that theory. Not that I'm giving you any ideas by that, but alas," she finished nonchalantly.
He laughed with such delight, it was clear he was both sane and insane. "See? You are not a fool. But you do not fear for your life. You talk to me, a representative of a people you – I have no doubt – have enormous scorn for. You even give the villain ideas for your own torture. How is that not fascinating? How is that not simply… ah, a rare, purely brave heart."
"It could also simply mean I'm a masochist," Hawke said with a shrug.
"I doubt it, although I do not discard that idea," Avicus said calmly. "But seeing as how you are skilled in both swords and magic, well… what a waste. Your life would be a waste, if you'd put yourself in danger just to be punished. You may be perceived as indispensible to your friends, am I wrong? Do you see it as a punishment?"
"Being punished with having friends," Hawke said and pretended to ponder on it. "Wooh, a paradox," she said mockingly.
"You help, you save, you do all it takes," Avicus said perceptively. "So if I am to guess, their safety is a blessing. Even now, they are safe, are they not? So it is not a punishment you desire, their deaths."
"Not if I can help it," Hawke said flatly. She knew this was too much. This would end badly. She trusted though, that somehow Fenris and Zevran would find a way to solve their little problem and find the others. Her? It didn't matter. She was distracting him perfectly, if they truly managed to get away.
"Ah, this is good," Avicus said to himself. "You are a good woman."
"Your eyesight is working fine today. I hope to never see you tomorrow, however. Now how would I accomplish that?" Hawke asked nonchalantly. "How can I make you happy, without you making me unhappy?"
"Tell me everything," Avicus said with hunger in his eyes. "Everything."
Tell him everything? She would have to start with the colour of her smallclothes. That much was clear. "If I tell you, would you let my friend go?" Hawke asked mockingly. "If it's not too much to ask."
"Hmmmmm," he said childishly, caressing his chin in entertainment. "What say you, Amadeo?" he asked softly and looked to his left, where the strong posture of the red-headed elf came about from another room, looking almost positively taken with hunger. His eyes weren't his own anymore. His face was that of a stranger, not that she knew him very well. But it was changed.
Damn it. Shivers went up and down her spine, her blood froze in her veins and she was enveloped in the sudden urge to vomit. If this was all it took, she prayed for the miracle that Fenris, if ever faced with his master, would be different. But even so, Armand could have easily been pretending. Although, the look on his face, sharp and murderous, compliant and waiting for his master to give out the words – it was almost unbearable to watch and he could have had her fooled.
"Such mockery," Hawke said bravely. "How about you let him go. Or do I have to ask nicely, too?"
"Ah, you're making it hard for me," Avicus finally said with an innocent sigh. "I do not even know who I want more from the two of you."
"How about neither?" Hawke pressed aggressively. "Oh come on, old man. You have a cascade of slaves and assassins at your feet and I'm not here to rescue them all. Surely you don't miss him that much, since you seem to never have looked after him," she said and crossed her arms again with a perceptive grin. "You can't be this stupid, not to have found him by now."
Avicus looked at her with sudden discomfort in his controlled expression. Something sparked in his eye, something cruel. "How about this?" He beckoned for Armand to approach. "Since you seem to be so purely driven by doing what is good, how about you prove it right here and now."
She frowned and waited for him to continue, swallowing hard because she could not be more certain that this man would turn her virtues into weaknesses. "You fight to the death. If he defeats you, he is free to leave," he said and got out the vial necklace with Armand's blood out from beneath his robes. "Forever," he finished in an all serious tone and bowed to her. "This, I swear."
Don't hate me D: Please don't hate me for this turn of events. You won't be disappointed. And it's the final boss so rest assured, we're done soon enough. I can't wait to get them back to Kirkwall :)