Chapter 46: Gods Have Mercy On This Fallen Angel
Severus and Kreacher sat listening as Mag and Regulus played the song together, combining their talents. Regulus's guitar kept a rhythm while Mag's fiddle played a high lead. When Regulus began to sing, his light husky voice was full of emotion. Though the words he sang were relatively depressing the raw feeling he put into them had Kreacher itching to curl into a ball of misery. From the look on Severus Snape's face, he felt exactly the same. The song wrapped around Kreacher's ears like a blanket of despair. In that moment, everything felt suddenly overwhelmingly futile and miserable. Though Master Regulus had freely admitted to using music to work through his emotions, the songs he had shown Kreacher previously didn't inspire anything like this level of depression! Master Regulus sang of being a fallen angel, down on his knees in the depths of hell and begging god to have mercy on him for all he'd done. It appeared that the Blacks had a bardic gift somewhere in their ancestry that now belonged to Regulus. The emotion conveyed within the words and melody were far too powerful for it to be otherwise. As Regulus sang of freedom being nothing but a cup of water in which to drown, his despair crashed over the room like a relentless ocean. Kreacher fixed his gaze on the person he loved most and hung on to the arm of the chair, hoping it would be over soon. It better be, else Kreacher would probably begin to cry uncontrollably over a misery that wasn't precisely his even if the power of the song whispered otherwise. Often the more one wanted something to be over, the longer it seemed to last. So it was with the song. Mag's fiddle screamed and cried as she seemed to make the strings writhe in agony as if the bow in her hand was torturing them. It was fitting, though, because it matched the obvious agony in Regulus's soul that currently poured out through his mouth. Even more shocking to Kreacher, as Mag played, her green eyes shown with an exulted joy as if the experience was a pleasant one! At one dreadful point, Regulus and Mag combined their vocal efforts in the song's bridge to make a wordless if quite melodic wail of misery. Regulus carried the lower notes and Mag's far higher ones were like broken glass, shards of soul wrenching pain that wove through and complimented his. When at last the final notes faded and the two lowered their instruments, Severus let out an unabashed sigh of relief that Kreacher was hard pressed not to echo.
"What the hell was that," Snape demanded.
"What," Mag turned to him with a look of honest surprise at his reaction. "It was great! I never thought it would be so invigorating to play with another bard! The power was more than doubled! That was amazing!"
"I hardly think I'm a bard, but thank you," Regulus told Mag with a slightly embarrassed smile. "It was grand fun to play with you, though. Your additions made the song far better in every way!"
"Oh yes you are a bard!"
Mag and Severus spoke the words simultaneously, though in quite different tones. Mag's was adamant and Severus's was horrified.
"As you are aware, bards cause people to feel things, and you had me wanting to curl up into a ball on the bloody floor and give up on life," Severus continued darkly. "Please don't ever do that again!"
"Oh but you must," Mag insisted excitedly. Then turning to Severus she spoke dismissively. "It wasn't that bad, Severus. You're fine."
"As a bard yourself, you are obviously unaffected," Severus shot back with a scowl.
Ignoring Snape for the moment, Mag turned to Regulus. Her large green eyes were intense and serious as she regarded him. "It's a gift, Regulus. Use it."
"Alright," Regulus said, a smile ghosting over his face. "What did you think, Kreacher," he asked, turning to the elf at his side with a searching look.
Kreacher internally cringed as he steeled himself to make a loving, supportive and unselfish reply. He smiled. "Everything Master Regulus does is wonderful."
"Thank you," Regulus said, giving Kreacher a devoted smile as he returned his guitar to its case. Severus let out a sigh of relief, clearly thankful that the emotional torture was over at least for tonight. "So is the Dark Lord angry that you are no longer able to report on Potter's whereabouts," Regulus asked Severus.
Severus shrugged, thin lips tightening. "Not at me. He knows I have no control over what the boy does. I always told him the truth about Potter as often as I could. I figure if they have their confrontation sooner than expected, the prophecy should still play out. There wasn't a date on the bloody thing and Voldemort's continued trust is key to my survival."
Kreacher was intrigued when Mag frowned, giving her head a slight shake of negation. "I'm not so certain of that. My last rune reading indicated that he may strike out at you for an unrelated reason entirely, but it wasn't clear. Something about material possessions, odd as that sounds." She sighed, shrugging slender shoulders in obvious frustration. "That's why I didn't mention it at the time. The concept was so vague I knew it wouldn't be very helpful for now. Rune readings are like that," she added, directing the last bit of the explanation to Regulus and Kreacher. "They're very clear on some points and quite perplexingly vague on others. Of course later when the events come to pass about which they are vague, it's quite clear. You look back at the reading and it suddenly makes total sense, but not so much until then. At least I'm usually fortunate enough to have clearer answers, especially when it comes to Severus's situation."
Reaching for her hand, Severus gave the red head a look of apologetic regret. Kreacher found himself relating. At times there was too much to regret. Too many choices that could've been better. He wasn't surprised when Master Regulus understood Severus's expression as well.
"It will be alright. We'll all do what it takes to keep Severus safe," he assured Mag. At those words, Mag gave him a look of open gratitude that tugged at Kreacher's heart. He nodded his own agreement to Master Regulus's promise.
"You should see him now," Severus spoke suddenly, turning to the vampire. "The Dark Lord that is. He's practically half transfigured himself into a snake."
Kreacher couldn't help but shudder at that image. "I'm not truly surprised, considering his affinity," Regulus said. Then with a chuckle he added, "I'd also not be surprised if he were shagging that giant snake of his. Perhaps that's why he so wishes to appear as one."
Severus choked. "Gods!" Kreacher nodded fervently, as he agreed with Snape's sentiment! Regulus laughed again, clearly enjoying their strong reaction.
"Well I wouldn't. He always cared about that bloody giant snake more than anything else other than his own pathetic existence!"
Kreacher nodded his agreement, recalling with another shudder, how Voldemort had spoken of his connection with Nagini being like Kreacher's own with Regulus. At the time, Kreacher had not believed the Dark Lord understood just how deep his connection with Master Regulus was. After the disturbing image Master Regulus had just painted, Kreacher wasn't so sure, though. "I don't know that he likes himself," Mag said slowly. "To do something as abhorrent as splitting apart one's own soul, there has to be some self dislike. That lack of self value indicates as much."
"But he seems to value himself far more than he values anyone else," Kreacher pointed out.
Mag laughed merrily, but she nodded in agreement to his words even as she did so. "Exactly. He has no value for himself and even less for others."
Recalling how callously he had been treated at the Dark Lord's hands, Kreacher nodded. "Mag is quite interested in Muggle psychology," Severus explained proudly.
Kreacher felt his relatively high opinion of the red haired young woman dropping at Snape's words. "Though I hid among Muggles for nearly two decades, psychology was never something I thought much about," Regulus mused. "Do you find it useful," he asked Mag.
"I do," she replied. "Understanding the psychology of how people work gives you an edge on them and makes them far more predictable. Understanding a person's mind allows you to see their weaknesses and strengths."
"I never even considered that," Regulus said, respect for Mag's perception clear in his eyes.
"She is wise and perceptive far beyond her years," Severus said. As he spoke, he glanced away, causing Kreacher to wonder if the man was uncomfortable with the fact that a young woman was, at times, more perceptive than he. Or was the discomfort because his own admiration for her was so high? Love and devotion likely didn't come easy to someone as closed as Severus Snape, after all. The four talked late into the night about just about everything. When Mag and Severus departed, Master Regulus made them promise to visit again soon. This, Kreacher did not particularly mind in itself, because the visit had been pleasant and the conversation actually stimulating. The fact that Mag and Master Regulus would most probably sing together again, though, made him hope that soon wasn't too very soon.
(Dear Reader,
If you're curious as to how in the nine hells, Severus Snape actually ended up in a relationship, check out his story, Knowledge Is Power, also uploaded here. We promise you shall be thrilled, amused and a bit traumatized in the best of ways!)