So hoist up the John B's sail
See how the mainsail sets
Call for the captain ashore
Let me go home, let me go home
I wanna go home, yeah yeah
Well I feel so broke up
I wanna go home
Why don't they let me go home
This is the worst trip I've ever been on

Sloop John B.

I Wanna Go Home

She heard his voice float over the wind, and she cried a little harder. She thought she could escape it, but he was always there in the back of her mind. A surge of anger burst in her and she threw a handful of sand at the ocean in front of her, screaming obscenities at the waves that crashed onto the shore ceaselessly. Kate hated this place. Everything about it was wretched. It was too hot and sticky, there were monsters in the jungle, and she had no one to love her.

Another peal of pitiful wails tore from her, and Kate fell back on the sand. It felt good to cry. Release frustrations, anger and the terrible, deep despondency she'd recently fallen into. It was Jack who'd been thing to finally break her. After getting taken by the Others, Kate had been disconnected from the doctor. He was giving her the cold shoulder, being civil and polite, but there was no warmth in his eyes for her anymore. That was the worst punishment he could've inflicted. She'd rather been beaten and broken. Just that morning, Kate had smiled and said hello in hopes of getting him to forgive her. But he just said good morning and walked past, he hadn't even looked at her.

Kate furrowed her brow, wiping her wet face, which was immediately streaked with tears again. Most of all, she hated how she needed him. Needed his approval. Kate had never needed anyone. But somehow, without even trying, Jack had become the most important person in her life. Kate slapped herself in the forehead repeatedly, cursing herself for her stupidity.

"I wanna go home." She whispered. Anywhere seemed better than here, but Kate especially wanted to go back home. Back when her mom was well and not afraid of her, when Tom loved her, when she had a place to belong. She missed the familiarity, the people who needed her.

"I wanna go home." Kate whispered again, covering her eyes with her hand and crying silently again.

"Tell me about it." His voice came from down the beach. Kate pushed herself up off the sand so quickly it made her dizzy. She put a hand over her eyes, subtly wiping the tears from them.

"You scared me." She said with a sad, forced smile.

"Sorry," Jack smiled, sitting down in the sand. When Kate hesitated, he looked up to her expectantly.

"So, you're talking to me again?" She stated as she lowered herself to the sand, a good distance away from him.

"Sun saw you run off, she was worried about you."

"Ah, I see." Kate nodded, understanding now. He was doing his job. Nothing more. Why was she so disappointed? What did she expect, really?

"So, are you alright?" Jack asked lamely, looking out to sea, then down at the sand between his knees, which he had drawn up, elbows resting on them.

"No." Kate sighed. She was sick of lying to herself, to him. "I'm really not." Kate laughed once, but stopped when she heard her own hysterical voice. Jack was quiet, and Kate thought she'd burst.

"It's just that I," Kate began suddenly, the words spilling forth, "I feel so miserable here all of a sudden. I see the worst in everything, and I know that I wasn't exactly Miss Optimism before but this depression is ridiculous. I just wanna scream and cry and run away. Go home." Kate mumbled the last words, but Jack still made them out.

"I know." Seeing Kate all broken down was strange for Jack. He was hesitant about disturbing her at first, when he'd seen her crying, but decided if there was a perfect time to come clean about everything, it was now. When she was most exhausted, too tired to care and to lie. He'd get the whole truth, they'd be honest with each other. "I'm sorry I've been…distant lately. I'm done being mad at you now."

Kate smiled a small, tired smile, drawing her brows together and swallowing hard to keep the tears at bay. "Good."

"The truth is," Jack sighed to calm his nerves, "I was jealous."

"Jealous?" Kate asked skeptically.

"You and Sawyer seemed to be getting along so well. I was busy with running…everything and he had the time for you. I didn't. I might have a bit of a control issue."

"Hah! Might?" Kate exclaimed sarcastically with a grin.

Jack laughed, "I'm sorry, Kate. I really am. I made a mistake. And if it's too late, if you've given up on me…I'll give up on it, too. But I want you to know, I care about you. I've missed you."

Kate could hardly believe the words were coming out of Jack's gorgeous mouth. Tears brimmed her hazel eyes, which glistened at him in the setting sun. She leaned toward him a little, as if to tell him a secret, and he reciprocated the action.

"Jack, I'll never give up on you." Her voice was breathy, on the verge of breaking down again.

Jack inched in a bit more, gauging her reaction. Her eyes begged for him; he glanced down to her lips, red and swollen from crying. God, she was beautiful when she cried. A hand slipped down to her thigh, another under her jaw. Kate's eyes slid shut upon the contact, and she leaned her forehead against his cheek. A tear fell onto his jeans, soaking into the dirty, torn fabric.

Tilting her head up gently between his hands, Jack wiped her tears away with his fingertips, trailing soft kisses from her chin to her cheeks to her nose and forehead. Kate's eyes were barely closed, lips parted slightly. Jack grazed his lips down her face before faintly touching his lips to hers.

Sloop John B. is a Beach Boys song.

Reviews, criticisms, praises, and hello's welcome.

-Austin B.