WOOHOO! Anyway...new storyline..
Summary: In a random day, the Fuhrer of Amestris decides to have all military personnel take a month's break. It'll be 30 days of Hell for Roy Mustang.
"Goooooood Morning, Amestris! Today we have clear skies and a 80 degrees temperature. Yes, it seems like the day to go out and have a nice time at the beach!"
Roy shuffled in his bed. He tried to shake away the source of the voice, but failed.
"In other news, Roy Mustang seems to be a bedhead and is sleeping in again!"
Roy punched the source of the voice and hit the target. The stomach. Of Maes Hughes.
"Ow..." Maes jumped back as his friend punched him in the stomach.
"MAES! How did you get in here!" Roy jumped up from his bed and stared at his friend in shock.
"Window," Maes said simply.
"I thought I told you never to say the word 'window' again.." Roy said with clenched teeth.
-flashback-
Roy shuffled his desk for his keys. He couldn't find them again. Note that again is the key word. He opened and closed his drawers. And looked under everyone's desk. He just couldn't find them. But then Maes walked into the room.
"Roy...what are you doing?" Maes raised an eyebrow as he saw Roy's pair of feet emerging from Hawkeye's desk. 'Wait..this can't be right...Why's Roy looking under her desk...He's not doing anything BAD, is he?'
"What do you want, Maes..?" an annoyed Roy Mustang asked his ever-so-happy friend.
"I should ask the same thing...well almost..What do you want from under Riza Hawkeye's desk?" Maes got an unusually perverted glint in his eyes.
"SHUT UP, MAES! I was looking for my keys! I can't find them!"
"Again," Maes reminded.
"Again.."
Maes walked forward to Roy's desk and stood dumbstruck for awhile. He picked up a magazine which lay on the desk.
"What's this? A naughty magazine?" Maes gasped.
Roy jumped up and hit his head from under Havoc's desk. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" Roy almost slid on the floor and finally grabbed hold of Maes. He took one look at the magazine..
It was one of Riza's gun magazines.
"Such a dirty mind you have, Roy!" Maes taunted in glee.
"Shut up! There is nothing dirty about having a gun magazine!"
"But it's dirty that you're actually looking at one!" Maes gasped. "Imagine the great Roy Mustang looking at gun magazines! The great Flame Alchemist gone wrong! What have you turned into, Roy?" Maes gave a fake sniff and brought his head down.
"Maes..." Roy muttered in anger.
"And your children will taunt you one day for looking at these awful devices of terror!"
"I'm NOT getting ANY KIDS!" Roy yelled.
"Your friends will abandon you! And Riza will dump you!" Maes said dramatically.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!"
"And then the Fuhrer will give you a demotion for doing awful things! And then you'll get turned by the entire town!"
"..."
"Then you'll have to move to a new town and start a new life! You never know, you may get a wife, Roy!"
"MAES!"
"Ok, ok...I'm leaving...by the way..your keys are on your desk.." Maes laughed.
"...what..." Roy angrily said.
"I can't believe that you, who can sense that someone is getting a promotion, cannot see that your keys are on your desk!"
"...Maes...get out..."
Wooooo...wooooo..woooo...
"Police sirens..." Maes said bluntly.
"Huh?" Roy said, obviously confused.
"THEY'RE AFTER ME, ROY!" Maes yelled.
"EH? What are you talking about?" Roy backed away from Maes. He backed right into the window.
"I know! I'll use you as a decoy!" Maes ran forward and picked Roy up.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, MAES!"
Maes threw Roy out of the window.
-3 days later-
"I can't believe you threw him out of a window..."
"But they were after me!"
"They weren't after you then. They certainly are now."
" I know those officers' evil plans...Those disgusting creatures.."
"You're part of the military, Hughes...We all are.."
"I KNEW IT!"
"Eh?" 3 men's voices all said.
"You're all impersonating my subordinates to get me aren't you!"
"No! We're really us!"
"Don't lie to me! I know perfectly well through your evil tricks!"
Roy opened his eyes. He looked forward and saw Maes holding one of his throwing knives and Fury, Havoc, and Falman cowering in a corner.
"Oh, hi, Roy!" Maes said in his happy voice.
Fury moved to wipe some sweat off his face.
"DON'T MOVE, YOU SLICK BASTARDS!" Maes yelled back at his subordinates.
Roy flinched at the sight of his friend's sudden personality change. But then again, Maes always seemed to be like that.
-end of flashback-
"Oh yeah..I nearly forgot about that..." Maes said, sitting down into a chair.
"How do you forget throwing your friend out of a window...?"
"I don't kn-Sirens..."
"EH?" Roy jumped out of bed and near the door.
"Aha! Just kidding!" Maes said laughing.
"Not funny..." Roy angrily said. "Now let's get to the point..Why are you here?"
"Oh yeah..Never really mentioned that...Well..The Fuhrer is having all of us take one month's break from duty." Maes said, getting into serious 'mode'.
"That's odd..." Roy stated, rubbing his chin. (A/N: xDD At the moment I wrote this I started to rub my chin, but then I remembered that I have a fricking pimple on my chin..So I was like "hm-OW!" XD)
"You bet it is..But we ought to just enjoy this break while we can!" Maes said happily.
"That's ironic..Hearing that statement from you.." Roy laughed. "You're always breaking...Running to my office, bragging about your family and telling me that I should get one.
"Oh, but I don't do that all the time," Maes reminded. "Sometimes I actually do my work!"
"Yeah...sometimes.." Roy said, not fully believing him.
"But I'm always so busy doing all those investigations! I'd take paperwork any day!" Maes said.
"No..trust me..you wouldn't..." Roy said sadly. "It's hell...It really is.."
"Somehow...I'm not surprised, hearing that from you.." Maes laughed.
"I ought to get packed...When's the first day of this thing..?" Roy asked.
"Today!"
"Where...am I supposed to live for a month..." Roy asked himself.. "I always slept in military lodges..."
"You can stay at my house!" Maes suggested happily.
"No thanks.." Roy said firmly.
"Oh, come on! It'll be so fun! We'd have sleep overs every night! And we'd eat chips and watch movies!"
"Maes...we're nearly 30...this is kind of sad.."
"Roy you party pooper! You should've learned by now that even if your 52 you should still be able to enjoy yourself as a child!" Maes exclaimed.
"But I'm not 52," Roy stated in a duh tone.
"I said IF," Maes said, slapping himself on the forehead. "You seriously need to listen to me more!"
"Listen to you? I swear, if I ever listened to you, you'd somehow probably convince me to jump off a bridge." Roy said shaking his head slowly. "I'd probably jump off anyway because of your crazy ideas and family bragging."
"That hurts,"
"You've hurt me more,"
"Pfft, yeah right." Maes said. "Anyway, now that I have you informed, I'm off."
Roy turned back to his bed when the rock of reality hit him hard on the back of his head.
"Wait..Maes..how'd you get in here?" Roy turned back to his friend who was just about to exit the room.
"I told you already..the window.." Maes gave a glare to Roy which obviously said 'You have major listening problems'.
"I'm on the 3rd floor!" Roy pointed out.
'It's called using a ladder..and being the point of attention for an hour,' Maes thought. "I flew, Roy." Maes stated bluntly.
Roy didn't catch the sarcasm.
"What do you mean 'You flew'? You can't fly!" Roy yelled. He was getting irritated now.
"Oh yes, Roy! I grabbed my magic pixie dust and flew all the way up here just to see you!" Maes said in a fake face of glee. He pulled some lint out of his pocket and dropped it on top of Roy's head.
"HEY!"
"Now you can fly m'boy!" Maes said happily, "Just jump out of the window and believe!"
"..Maes.."
"And then you'll experience the magical wonder of falling straight to the hard pavement and realize that your best friend was being sarcastic." Smiling, Maes walked out of the room and went to his own home.
"Damn, Maes.." Roy muttered under his breath.
He went back to his messy bed and tried to think of what to pack.
"So..I pack..uhh.."
'Everything...' the voice in his head told him.
"Which is..." Roy looked around the room. There really wasn't much there.
'Ever hear of clothes?'
"Yes! Clothes!" Roy walked to his closet to find that it was empty except for his extra pair of his military uniform. He pulled it out of his closet and shoved it in his empty suitcase. "Now what else..."
"Your paperwork," a voice behind him said.
"No, I wouldn't pack that..What a waste of space." Roy said, not realizing that a person had said it and not his head.
"I'd really recommend it, sir." He felt something cold behind his neck. "The nice 30 days would be a excellent time to finish up your work that you haven't completed."
'Do I dare..?' Roy thought as he flinched from the cold hitting his bare skin. Slowly he turned around and looked at his intruder straight in her eye. Er...her eye.
Riza Hawkeye stood there with her gun drawn and pointed at Roy. A serious expression on her face made her look as if she really was going to kill him.
"Lieutenant Hawkeye!" Roy said in a surprised voice even though he really wasn't that surprised. 'Maybe if she'd just keep that thing home for once, she'd actually have a boyfriend..'
"Good morning," she said sternly. "As I was saying, it would be a good idea to finish your paperwork over the holiday."
"But why would I do that!" Roy whined like a little child.
"It's not as if you're actually going to be doing anything else. Seeing as you don't even have a place to stay for the night."
'Got me there,' Roy thought. "But maybe if you'd let me stay at your house, I'd be able to finish up. And we'd be able to get to know each other more!" He put up his charming smile of his that usually got everyone's attention on his face.
"I don't think so," Hawkeye said closing her eyes. "I don't know about you, but I certainly am not interesting in having my superior as my lover," she put the gun back into the holster and left the room.
'DAMNIT!' Roy yelled at himself in his head and stomped his right foot on the ground.
"And do something about the paperwork!" Hawkeye's voice called into his room. And faded away.
'I hate her and love her at the same time..' Roy mentally slapped himself across the face.
"What the hell is wrong with me!" he yelled at himself.
"Lots of things! I'll be happy to name a few!" A certain overrated, alchemy-loving, midget walked into the room with a taunting smile spread on his face.
"Fullmetal Shrimp,"
"Colonel Bastard,"
"I'll get straight to the point. What the hell are you doing here?" Roy said, clenching his teeth.
"Aww, aren't I allowed to see my favorite Colonel? After all I won't be seeing him for a month.." Ed mocked, now leaning against the wall.
"I was actually thinking of it as a happy period of grace. Now that I won't have to get paperwork for all the havoc you cause." Roy smirked.
"Listen. I want to talk about the real reason I'm here." Edward said, suddenly getting serious. "Do you know why the Fuhrer gave us all a month off from duty?"
"Not a clue," Roy said, sitting on the edge of his bed. "I was thinking about that after Hughes told me."
"I'm thinking that it has something to do with the Philosopher's Stone,"
"You're kidding, right?" Roy looked at him jokingly. "The Fuhrer's the most powerful man in the country. What does he need the Stone for? Even if he was obtaining it, what makes you think he's going to get it in a month's time?"
"I have a small clue." Ed looked down and folded his arms across his chest.
"Edward, he can't possibly be getting the Stone. You've spent 4 years looking for it. He couldn't get it in a month."
"Time has nothing to do with it!" Edward argued. "He could've been looking the entire time he was Fuhrer! Plus he's older and has more ways to research!"
"Edward..What makes you think he's got the Stone?" Roy looked at Edward straight in the eye.
"Al says that he's a Homonculus," Edward stated. "So he obviously has something to do with it! Homonculi need the Stone to survive."
"Wait..Slow down..Homonculus?"
"He saw the Tattoo of the Homonculus in his eye."
"When?"
"Awhile ago. You weren't there."
"I've realized that."
"I just came here to see if you knew anything, seeing as you are my superior."
"Your superior that is a better alchemist that you," Roy corrected happily.
"My superior that is way too cocky and has too many girlfriends." Ed smirked.
Roy fell silent.
"I'll see you after a month. Have fun," Ed walked out the door and made his way down the hallway.
Roy still was sitting on the edge of his bed. He fell back and lay on his back wondering if what Elric said was true. 'You're thinking too much. This is just a little vacation. Nothing more.'
He absently gazed at the alarm clock on his bedside. It read 2 o'clock. He still needed a place to say. Now that he thought about it, he wished that he'd accepted Maes's offer. It was better that staying on the streets.