YAY! About 5 hours of submitting and I already have 3 alerts. (I sound like a idiots, getting excited over nothing XD!) But this is the one fic that I'm actually going to finish. So..1 chapter down, 29 to go..29..thats a big number..Aren't I supposed to be finishing my weeks worth of homework..?
Oh yeah, forgot to mention something in my first chapter. My parents are really strict about me getting on the computer during school days. So getting a full 10 pages of fanfiction for a chapter will take longer than you would expect (especially seeing as my grades are getting low and I have to get up!).
Bleh..guess I'll start now.
After Maes had left, Roy now wished that he'd accepted his offer on staying at his place. But he'd just have to stop him before Maes would mention the 'partying'.
Elric now said that Alphonse had actually seen the Tattoo for the Homonculus on the Fuhrer, but Roy wasn't sure if he fully believed them. Alphonse was trustable, but Edward on the other hand...Well, you get the point.
Roy lay, seated, against a busy wall in the street. Yes, the street. From what he got at the store next door before it closed, it was just around midnight.
He fumbled with his fingers as the cold air was wisping around his body (A/n: HOBO ROY!). He was still in his military uniform (As if he had anything else to wear).
"Damnit, Hughes, where the hell are you?" Roy muttered as a cold chill swept throughout his body.
It wasn't as if Roy was scared. He didn't have much to fear on the streets. Sure there were a couple of women now and then, but he was sure that he'd stick to Hawkeye.
'Hawkeye...' Roy though, 'she's been so cold lately. As if something's on her nerves and getting to her.' It hadn't been just today. She'd been like that since Wednesday (a/n: just note that today's Friday).
"I know where Maes lives..." Roy spoke to himself. 'But if I go there myself, he'll taunt me for not getting a place to stay! But he's the one who offered a place to stay in the first place. So it would be fine, right?' Roy argued to himself as he tried to decide whether to go to Maes's house.
Roy got up from his little sitting place and tried to get his feet to balance. Sitting down for 3 hours had gotten his legs to fall asleep so many times. He slowly started to walk down the street towards Maes's house.
'It's better than staying on the streets for a month...'
/knock knock/
The door opened pretty much right away.
"ROY! I KNEW YOU'D COME!" Maes happily yelled the moment Roy's hand knocked on the door. "Look, I got chips and soda!"
"What the hell was I thinking.." Roy muttered as he saw his friend get excited over nothing.
"Come in!" Maes practically dragged a miserable looking Roy into his house. "Look, I have the entire living room set up! We can tell ghost stories and have so much fun!"
Upon hearing the noise, Maes's daughter, Elysia walked into the room.
"Daddy, why's Mr. Mustang here so late?" Elysia rubbed her eyes as she tried to clear her vision. She'd been sleeping, but obviously Maes's noise had woken up.
"Mr. Mustang's going to be staying at our house for the next month! Isn't that wonderful, pumpkin!" Maes said excitedly and held on to Roy as he tried to edge his way toward the door.
"Uhm..yeah..sure.." The five year old left the room without another noise and went back to her room to sleep.
"Oh yeah! Speaking of Elysia, you're going to be here for her 6th birthday!"
"Oh hell no.."
"It's going to be so much fun, Roy! And you'll be there too!" Maes said excitedly as he looked through his pockets for countless pictures of his daughter. "Why haven't you come to the last 5? They were so much fun!"
"Why do you think I didn't come?" Roy nearly yelled as he tried to break Maes's grip from his arm. "And living here won't change my mind! I'm not coming!"
"Are you sure..?" Maes suddenly got this downtrodden look and his eyes started to water.
"YES, Maes! I am not going, and nothing's going to stop- Hey..what are you doing..?..MAES!"
Roy stared grumpily down at his hand. He wanted to burn it or even better, rip it off. Maes had apparently prepared for this and kept a pair of handcuffs under the sofa where they were near. Maes's 'What are these doing here?' act didn't go too far.
"See? Now you can stay for Elysia's birthday!" the over-obsessive father said happily with glee.
"Maes...Has is ever occurred to you that we have to sleep?" Roy angrily said with clenched teeth.
"Hmm..I wasn't prepared for that." Maes said, now thinking. "I guess we can use the bed."
"Oh oka- WAIT. THE BED! WHAT!" Roy yelled in shock. 'He can't put me in the same bed as HIM!' "What about your wife? Isn't she supposed to be in your bed!"
"Yeaaaah, but she's out of town for the week to see her sister..Didn't I tell you that?"
"NO!"
"Oh well..Now I did," Maes dragged Roy to the bedroom, while Roy was flailing around, trying to get out. It was hopeless, the handcuffs were metal. He couldn't break them.
They stood in the room for awhile, trying to figure it out.
"Ok..I'll get this side, and you get that side." Roy pointed to each side as Maes listened intently. Well, at least Roy hoped he was listening.
"Oh, but I'll get so lonely on my side. It'll be so quiet-
"FINE, I'll snore for you so it won't get quiet. Happy?"
"Ew...You snore.." Maes looked at Roy disgusted.
"Ew...EW? You're trying to get two grown men in a bed together! Isn't that EW!"
"Oh but Roy, we've known each other since we were children!" Maes whined.
"I don't care if we were brothers!" Roy yelled, "I'm not sleeping with you!"
"Oh fine," Maes said, finally giving in. He grabbed some chalk from his pocket and walked toward the door, dragging Roy along with him. He drew an alchemy array and somehow put both of his hands on the array, causing the door to melt shut.
"You know alchemy..?" Roy asked disbelievingly.
"No, Roy. I don't. I just used magic to seal that door shut." Maes said sarcastically. He took the handcuffs and ripped them apart with his bare hands.
Roy stared disbelievingly at what Maes had just done. "Wha...How'd you do that!"
Maes looked at him dead in the eye and repeated what he had said earlier. "Magic, Roy, magic."
Roy turned away in anger after his friend had ripped apart the cuffs before his eyes. If he did that..then it means the things were plastic and he could've gotten out to begin with.
"There we go!" Maes went again in his usual sing-song voice. "Now...we tell ghost stories! You first, Roy!" He sat down on the bed and waited for Roy to start.
Roy couldn't believe this. Did Maes take some sort of anti aging pill or something? Because it really seemed like it. He was acting as if he were 5.
"Okay..." Roy began. "Once there was a man named Maes Hughes. He was an overly obsessive parent and complete nuisance. One day, his best friend, Roy Mustang, who was a very handsome man with the title of Flame Alchemist, decided to get rid of Maes. He snuck into his house one night and killed him. The end."
Maes caught along to Roy's little 'joke'. Whatever it was. "Okay...my turn. Once upon a time there was a man called Roy Mustang. He was the great Flame Alchemist. HE NEEDED A WIFE. EVERY SINGLE DAY MAES WOULD COME AND TELL ROY TO GET ONE, BUT DID ROY EVER LISTEEENN?"
"MAES!" Roy yelled.
"Wasn't that a great story? I hoped you learned the moral! Good night!" Maes shut the lights and went to sleep before Roy could say a thing.
"Nng..." Roy mumbled. He couldn't get to sleep last night. He was in fear that Maes would do something. And knowing him, he probably would. So Roy decided to sleep on the floor and use a pillowcase as his covers.
He opened his eyes wearily. They were blurry, but they could still see something on top of him..Something with black hair and glasses.
"AAAH!" Roy screamed. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING MAES!"
"5 more minutes..." Maes groaned and flipped over, still on top of Roy, crushing his bones.
"Damnit, Maes.." Roy yelled and punched him straight in the jaw.
"Eh..." Maes groaned and rolled over, finally getting off of Roy.
Roy took deep gasps of breath from shock. "What were you doing down here! I didn't sleep on the bed for a reason!"
"Must've been sleep-walking." Maes said as he tried to get up. 'You know what, I had the strangest dream.."
"Oh no." Roy said, remembering the last time Maes had told him one of his dreams.
Flashback
"You were stripping, Roy! In my kitchen! Right over here in this spot!" Maes explained when Roy had come over to see if Maes was alright. Well..apparently he wasn't.
"Maes...I don't strip..Women strip..I don't care if men do. But I don't." Roy said with his teeth and hands clenched.
"But you were stripping! And you had scaley, blue skin!" explained Maes.
"I am NOT a FISH!"
end of flashback
"I don't want to hear it," Roy decided while remembering the last creepy dream Maes had.
"But you weren't stripping in this one!" Maes laughed. "Besides, I was sick that day! It was no wonder I had a weird dream!"
"Maybe your still sick, because I said I don't want to hear it.."
"Oh, come on Roy! You'll like this one, I'm sure you will!" Maes assured, trying to get Roy to listen.
"FINE." Roy gave in, hoping this would be worth hearing.
"Ok, we were all in the park, and there were statues of you and me everywhere." Maes started. "And there was this bus ride, where everyone dressed like you and were holding pictures of you!"
"It must be a vision!" Roy concluded. "I will become the Fuhrer, and I will become famous!"
Maes stared for awhile. He decided to leave out the end of his dream. Where he and Roy got in the bus and got driven off the road and into the giant lake. Then they all died.
It would probably be better if Roy didn't know.
Silence.
"So now what?" Roy asked looking around the room with a bored expression.
"We wait," Maes said seriously.
"What...? Wait for what?" Roy said in slight anger. If Maes was pulling one of his crazy theories again, which he probably was, then no doubt this would be stupid.
"We wait...for the monkeys.."
"WHAT!"
"Geez, Roy. You have no patience at all. We're waiting for Jean Havoc to come." Maes sighed.
"After spending countless years with you, no wonder I'm not patient." Roy angrily muttered.
Maes looked downtrodden. "But I'm your best friend!"
"What gives you that idea!" Roy said incredulously.
"Roy, you're so cold!" Maes whined as he whimpered to the corner of the room and began to 'cry'.
"Maes..."
"Roy, I can' t believe I offered you to stay in my home!"
"...Maes..."
"You're so cold! You can't even admit that you're my friend!"
"Maes! You have dreams of me STRIPPING!" Roy yelled, "I think that's self-explanatory!"
The doorbell rung. Roy walked to the door, and sure enough, Jean Havoc was there to save the day!
Okay, not save the day, but save Roy from losing his mind.
"Hey, Maes called me ov-" Havoc looked across the room, past Roy. "Is he crying?"
"Ignore him," Roy mumbled. "He's faking it.."
"You made him cry, Roy! You're so cold!" Havoc gave a glare to Roy which had its own words for 'go-and-burn-insert creepy curse word here'.
Havoc couldn't believe he was doing this. Somehow, Maes had promised $50 if he did do it.
And that was why he was here.
-flashback-
Maes walked over to the phone right after Roy had fallen asleep. He told Havoc not to go to bed any time soon that day. He hoped he had listened.
Maes dialed up Havoc's number, and a super sleepy Havoc had picked up the phone almost instantly.
"Maes...Why'd you tell me to...stay up..." Havoc groaned.
"Jean, you sound drunk. Calm down and let me explain." Maes sighed.
"What...?"
"We need to go and play a prank on Roy, just for fun you know!" Maes explained. "In the morning I want you to-
"Wait, whaat?" Havoc's mind was only half-functioning.
"What, what?"
"You want us to go and play Roy for fun...?"
"...No..." Maes was about to hang up on him for Havoc's stupidity. But it was his fault that Havoc was crazy like this. "I said we half to play a prank on Roy, just for fun."
"But I don't want to play with Roy...Roy cheats...always.." Havoc still didn't get it..
Maes covered his face in his hands. Could Jean seriously get this stupid from lack of sleep. "I'll call you in the morning."
"But I don't want to get mauled in the morning..."
Maes hung up.
-end of flashback-
When Maes called back a little later, Havoc understood. He hesitated with his answer, but Maes promised $50. Which is how he's here.
"I didn't make him cry!" Roy explained, "He was acting like an idiot, like he always does!"
"Don't call your best friend an idiot!" Havoc gave another death glare.
"But it's true!"
"Maes has gone through so much in his childhood! How could you turn on him now of all times!" Havoc gave a fake cry. "Today is the day his father was butchered!"
"...what?" Roy looked with blank look on his face. Did Havoc just say..butchered..?
"Yes! His father was butchered!"
"...Havoc...you're just making this up, aren't you?"
"Of course I'm not! Maes's father was a cow and his mother had to kill him to feed all her 13 children!"
"...cowsex...interesting..." Roy said in a fake tone. "But I've met Maes's father. He's human! HUMAN!"
Havoc thought for a split second. "He paid that man $100 to fake himself as Maes's father!"
"...And I bet Maes is paying you to do THIS!"
Havoc looked around uncertainly.
"He did, didn't he?"
"Yes," Havoc said in a guilty tone.
"Darn it, Havoc! You weren't supposed to tell him!" Maes sighed from his corner of the room.
"But he already figured it out! There's no point denying what he already knows!" Havoc complained. "And you owe me $50! Come on! Hand it over!"
Maes sighed and handed over the 50 from his pocket. "But you can't leave!" Maes ran to the door and slammed it shut. He pushed the sofa in front of the door.
"I'm being held hostage. I sure feel special now." Roy shook his head and sat down on the other couch on the other side of the room.
End of chapter 2
Wow..I haven't updated in awhile. But I have a perfectly good reason for that! Uhm..and that reason is..I got Call of Duty 2, and I got insanely addicted to it! So, I've been playing that game for..a long time...
Roy: What kind of crazy excuse is that? You left your fans hanging.
Me: You have no authority to talk to me like that! I shall kill you in the next chapter!
Maes: WOOHOO!
Roy: MAES! You're supposed to be on my side!
Author's note: I may not update in awhile again. XD It'll probably take another month to write a chapter. Wow, I suck.
But, I have GOOD news!
I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico. :)