Disclaimer? I'll teach you disclaimer! (brandishes Hiro's guitar and starts waving it around crazily)
Broken Panorama
"Damn you, Yuki. Why are you always so mean? Why!" He grabbed Yuki's shirt by the collar. And deep inside, he desperately wished for his love to show something, anything.
Somehow he wanted to shatter the innocence etched upon sleeping face framed by golden threads. But he could not bring himself to. It was just like those rare times when Yuki's tears would fall, and the guilt would wash over him once more in a wave of panic. Or when he saw his lover bent down slightly in agony, a hand covering his mouth as blood slipped past. Every time he saw Yuki like that, a part of him died little by little. He wanted to take all that pain away, let himself endure it all if possible. So if had to endure hurtful words from the blonde novelist, if he had to undergo the anguish of having his heart broken again and again, it doesn't quite matter either most of the time.
He knew those three words were never meant for him, but for Yuki to say it to anyone else, it hurt more than he imagined. The blonde once said that he loves a dead man. That was fine. He could accept that. He said that he could not possibly say those words with emotion. That was fine too. But for him to say it to someone else, some one night stand, that was something he, Shindou Shuichi is unable to tolerate.
"You bastard, Eiri. I hate you. Hate you, hate you, hate you, hate you."
Those words fell like fragments of his shattered heart. They were not true, of course, but Shuichi desperately wished they were.
But what can you do, if what you said becomes true?
It'd break him, either way. No, it would shatter him.
"Sometimes I wish I can fall out love with you," he whispered into the slumbering golden-haired man's ear even as tears-induced sleep beckoned. "But, I can't…"
His violet eyes slid into hazy purple, as his eyelashes fluttered against his cheekbones. As his mind slowly fell into slumber, he thought he heard Yuki's voice.
"Don't."
Just one word could have filled him with blinding hope, but it didn't. He must have imagined it. Yuki couldn't possibly have said it anyway.
A lonely tear trailed down his cheek and was brushed away gently by a certain blonde-haired man, but Shuichi did not feel it.
Yep, I'll separate it...eaiser this way.