Chapter 84: The Many Uses For Good Wine
"Well for a vampire to throw up we have to consume either too much blood or something our body is no longer supposed to process," Dora said.
"Such as food or drink," Regulus asked, glancing at the remains of Kreacher's lunch, or dinner, or whatever it was.
Dora nodded. "Yes, that should work, and the more the better if you want to make sure to get all of the potion out of you. If you just throw up a little, it may not be enough to bring the potion out of the lower level of your stomach where it likely is. Eating only a little will make you throw up only a little so eat a lot. Or drink, either way should work."
Regulus made a face. The concept was abhorrent, but he knew it had to be done. Being frequently miserable and full of self hatred was worse, after all. Having any part of that cave inside of him, anything that Voldemort created inside of him was far far worse. "Let's do it, then. Shall I drink or eat?"
Dora shrugged. "Neither is going to taste desirable to you anymore, so in that it hardly matters. Drinking is faster, though."
Regulus nodded. "We have wine and fire whisky stored in the basement. I suppose I'll have a bottle of wine. Is that enough to do it, do you think," he asked Dora and she nodded.
"It should be but you could always make it two to be safe." At Regulus's reluctant expression, she raised elegant brows.
"That potion isn't normal. It may need to be...loosened up or what have you for all I know."
"Fine, two bottles of wine to be safe, then," Regulus said, standing with a sigh. "I'll go get them and drink them here with the two of you. I do hate the idea of drinking alone," he quipped, lips curving into a slight smile as he found a mild bit of humor in the blasted situation.
Kreacher shifted the tray of food on his lap and stood. "Kreacher shall bring the wine up for Master Regulus," he said.
Regulus shook his head firmly. "You stay and finish eating. I won't have you interrupting your meal to do what I can easily do for myself."
"But Kreacher can do it faster," the elf protested with a slight exasperated frown.
"Not much faster," Regulus said and feeling a grin spreading on his face he applied vampiric speed to the situation, darting from the library in under a second. In less than ten he had vaulted the stairs and was deep within the dark cold basement. It took him half a minute or so to locate the wine wrack, but soon he'd grabbed two bottles and was heading back up stairs. When he reentered the library, he grinned at Kreacher. "Kreacher still could've done it faster," the elf challenged with a resentful frown.
"Nonetheless, it didn't take me long at all, and I am tired of you doing everything for me all the time when I want you to relax a bit more." Regulus placed one bottle on the table and studied the cork on the other. He'd forgotten an opener.
With a smirk, Kreacher pointed at the bottle and the cork flew out with a loud pop. "Kreacher does hope Master Regulus did not mind the help," the elf murmured dryly, and Regulus laughed.
"And now you're just being mean." Even as he spoke, he felt his stomach turning at the very scent of the wine. Dora was correct. It was not going to taste good. When he'd first become a vampire she'd told him that he would not mourn the taste of food or drink for it would no longer appeal to him and in fact would be repulsive instead. This had been true. It still was. Making a face he stared at the bottle, steeling himself for what was to come. The label read eighteen-ninety-five. It was old and should be quite good, but for him it would not be. Best get it over with, though, he told himself. He sighed and turned it up to take a large drink.
"Master Regulus does not want a glass," Kreacher asked in mild disapproval. Regulus was as proper as anyone and any other time he would've insisted on a glass were he actually going to enjoy the taste of the wine. "Why bother? I am drinking it in order to throw up so that I might rid myself of a foul potion that is lingering in my stomach, infecting me with its miserable effects. Why make it nice? It would just feel strange. Besides we had a goblet for...the other," he reminded with a small shudder that he could not suppress at memory of the cave and its basin of green potion. Kreacher glanced down, expression apologetic. "Master Regulus is right. Kreacher did not fully consider his words before speaking."
Regulus shrugged. "It's fine, really." Taking another deep breath he turned up the bottle to allow more of the now disgusting liquid to spill down his throat. He thought he could probably throw up right away, but if Dora was right and the potion needed more...help coming up, he did not wish to waste his effort.
Dora laughed and began to clap rhythmically. "Poor Regulus! If you could just see your face. Just get it over with and it'll be better. Now chug, chug, chug, chug!"
Regulus grinned and by the second (Chug) he was using the encouragement to do just that. He closed his eyes and just kept drinking, his body shuddering in protest as he struggled to keep it down. It tasted rather like vinegar with an extra sour twist and a dollop of revolting on top. When he finished the first bottle, Kreacher opened the second, the cork springing forth with a pop at a look from the elf. Regulus reached for it reluctantly and with Dora's encouragement's, he began to...chug. "Is Master Regulus feeling drunk at all," Kreacher wondered when Regulus had to lower the bottle in order to give his senses a short break. "No. Not at all," he said and Dora nodded.
"Spirits won't effect us unless we drink the blood of someone who is drunk," she explained to Kreacher who gave her a perplexed frown. "Because it won't process for us the normal way," Dora explained. "Our bodies will process the blood and thus the alcohol in it but the wine won't process so neither will its effects." Kreacher nodded as Regulus determinedly raised the bottle again. He'd managed to make it approximately half way through it when his stomach violently and decisively revolted. "I think I am going to throw up now," he announced with as much dignity as possible when speaking of throwing up.
Rising he put all of his focus into dashing for the nearest bathroom. He heard Kreacher and Dora hot on his heals. It appeared they were going to watch him throw up. Probably to see if the potion came up as expected. If it had kept its phosphorescent green hue, they would definitely be able to see it, he thought with a shudder as he fell to his knees in front of the toilet, placing the half full bottle on the floor at his side. Insanely enough, he laughed as the first stream of foul liquid expelled itself from his mouth because the fact he'd never expected to use a toilet again was the first thing to cross his mind. Heave after heave shook his body and when he was emptied out, he sat shivering on the floor of the bathroom with his face in his hands. "Is Kreacher's Master Regulus very unwell," Kreacher asked worriedly.
Regulus felt Kreacher's warm strong hands on his shoulders, then rubbing his back. With a small moan, he closed his eyes, allowing the warmth from the elf's slender hands to sink into his shivering body. "I just don't feel well," he managed softly after a few seconds. "But that feels very nice. Please don't stop."
"Kreacher won't," he promised soothingly. "Does Miss Dora see the potion in there?"
Only at Kreacher's question did Regulus sense Dora leaning over him to peer into the toilet bowl.
"I don't," she replied.
Though her tone was calm it was laced with frustration. The news was so dire that it took a moment to actually sink into Regulus's mind. "Are you saying that it didn't work," he nearly shouted. "Are you saying that I drank that liquid abuse for nothing?"
Kreacher's hands withdrew and Regulus saw him coming into view on his right side as he also came to peer into the toilet. "Kreacher is afraid so," he murmured regretfully.