Note: Okay, this has taken long enough – and was getting WAY too long – so I decided to split the chapter into two parts and post the first bit now rather than keep everybody waiting. The second half probably won't have quite as many pages, but still …better than nothing, right? Feedback, as always, is welcome, and hopefully the rest will be done within the next two weeks. Enjoy, I hope! DB
Times Present, Times Past
Chapter 6: Hope And Need Pt. 1
Angel Grove, The Past
Darkness had fallen and the first rays of the moon were painting the water's surface with a tremor of silver light before Kat could bring herself to return to their campsite. After Jason had left, she'd walked to the shore, dried herself as best she could and sat against a tree, her mind in turmoil.
What had happened here?
She didn't believe for a second that Jason had deliberately been spying on her while she was bathing; most likely, it was by chance that he'd entered the clearing just as she was standing up. Anyway, she didn't held it against him that he'd seen her in the nude – however, she couldn't help asking herself why she didn't.
By rights, she should feel offended, or outraged, embarrassed at the least, but … she didn't. If anything, she'd felt surprised, stunned, completely pole-axed. Instead, the fact that he couldn't control his body's visible reaction to what he'd seen made her feel curiously flattered.
*That's exactly the problem.*
She knew enough about Human biology to realize that becoming aroused by the sight of a naked female was quite a normal reaction in a healthy young man, especially in light of their friendship and isolation. However, she had very much not expected the butterflies starting to dance deep in her own stomach or the ache within her belly, the responding tingles skittering along her skin.
"I shouldn't feel that way," she moaned softly to herself, burying her face in her hands. "Not now, not here, not about Jason!"
It had taken her the better part of an hour to even acknowledge to herself that most likely, she wouldn't have stopped him if he'd chosen to come to her. Desperately, she called up images of Tommy – her boyfriend, the man she loved – but even recalling his smile and warm brown eyes didn't prevent the realization that after months of separation from him with no contact at all she craved more than memories. Their situation was so dire, the hardships of living in the wilderness without adequate supplies and protection so severe, that she often felt lost and very much alone, only Jason's company helping her over the rough spots.
While she freely admitted that she'd always thought of him as cute and a generally nice guy, Kat very much wished she could forget one late-night conversation with Tanya while her friend had still lived at her house. For she had confessed with a slightly guilty giggle that if she had met Jason first, or at the same time as Tommy, without Rita's interference, she had no idea whom she would have fallen in love with. And now, at the worst possible moment, her words came back to haunt her.
When he'd first come back from Geneva to join the team, she'd registered his good looks (which not even nearly a year's worth of hard living and the resulting scruffiness in his appearance could hide), but thought no more of it. She'd been prepared to like him, if only as Tommy's best friend; it had come as a pleasant surprise that they meshed well together on their own, too. In time, Kat had come to value his integrity, intelligence and dedication. The thing to cement their relationship, though, had been the events following Tommy's abduction by Prince Sprocket – Jason had been her rock then, supporting her in her efforts to snap Tommy out of the brainwashing without question, and it had made them friends as well. Only now, being marooned with Jason in the past, this friendship apparently had begun to change into something … more.
And it had happened without Kat even noticing.
The blonde young woman sighed deeply as she slowly stretched her legs and leaned back against her tree trunk.
"Why me? Why now? Why do I always fall for guys who should be off-limits?"
Kat had no answers for her questions. She'd mooned over Tommy while he was still together and happy with Kimberly. It had taken her a long time and a lot of patience to get together with him, she missed him terribly every day – and now that they were a couple at last and everything was fine, she had to get sucked into the past with Tommy's best friend. A man she knew she could easily care for just as much … if she let herself.
*Well, I'm not going to! I love Tommy, I'm not going to hurt him like Kim did, we'll get back and all will be well. So there!*
If only her resolution didn't sound so weak to her own ears!
Swallowing hard, Kat slowly got to her feet and turned towards their camp site. It was past time she returned, although she wanted to do anything but that. How could she face Jason after what had happened between them earlier?
*Nothing really did happen, though. And I'm going to make sure nothing more will.*
Wishing desperately that she could believe in her pep talk to herself, Kat left the clearing with dragging feet.
~*~
Jason sat at the fire idly plucking feathers off a decent-sized turkey when Kat returned, piling them in a heap next to him. He seemed oblivious to the serene beauty of the moonlit night at the shore of Angel Grove Lake, but then, he was taking great pains not to let his inner turmoil show.
He'd never been more grateful for – or more frustrated at – an interruption as when that bird had started to squawk up in the trees and thereby broken the tableau they were caught in. The temptation to wade into the water and crush Kat in his arms had been near overwhelming, and when the electric mood between them was so crudely shattered he'd taken the opportunity to disappear post-haste, his mind in turmoil and his body throbbing painfully with unfulfilled need.
As Jason moved away as fast as possible, he fought the desire to hide behind a convenient bush and relieve the ache that had literally sprung up by his own hand, but he knew that it would only be a temporary surcease. Plus, he was all too aware that he'd only be fantasizing about Kat while he was doing so, and that simply could not be. She was his friend, yes, but … nothing more. No matter how much he might wish it to be otherwise. Furthermore, Kat was his best friend's girl. The one woman he knew he dare not think of in that way – not if he had hopes of retaining his sanity and what little honor he had left in the matter.
For Jason knew only too well that what he had come to feel for Katherine went far beyond friendship by now. He'd been attracted to her from the moment he'd first looked into her clear blue eyes in the Power Chamber, but as she had eyes only for Tommy, he'd put that attraction aside. Shortly after, he'd met Emily, and was able to forget about it … but he was single again now, had been for a while, and being isolated with her had brought back all the old sensations he'd believed safely buried in his subconscious. Kat was everything he could dream of in a girl, from her stunning looks to her sweet personality, and the way she was coping with their situation went beyond anything he had expected. She didn't whine, didn't complain (well, not much; both of them groused now and then when things got too hard), and her quiet strength and determination to endure whatever it took to survive had increased his admiration tenfold.
*If she were anyone else's girlfriend but Tommy's, I'd do whatever I could to make her mine instead.*
But she was, and that was very definitely that.
So, Jason gritted his teeth and continued walking through the gathering darkness until he had himself under at least nominal control again, torn between unrequited needs and the demands of his body, mind and heart. At last, close to exhaustion, he'd stopped. Taking a look around, he realized that he'd walked almost halfway around the lake – far farther away from camp than was safe, especially at night when the local predators were about to come out from their lairs to hunt.
Jason laughed mirthlessly to himself.
"Great. I have a choice between getting attacked by wild animals, or face Kat. Dunno what's worse."
He felt his ears burn at the thought that there was, in all likelihood, no way that she could not have noticed what the sight of her standing naked in the water had done to him. And it was anyone's guess how she would react to that.
*If I'm lucky, she'll ignore it. As I'm gonna have to.*
Really, there was no choice at all. He could not and would not hurt either Kat or Tommy, and that was what was going to happen if he ever gave in to his desires. So, he would pretend nothing had happened, and try to go on as normally as possible. No matter what it might cost him.
Jason prayed that the control he'd learned over the years, both as a leader and through his karate, would be equal to the task.
Heaving a sigh that seemed to rise from the very earth beneath his feet, he squared his shoulders and made his way back to their camp, firming his resolve as he wended his way through the shadowy forest.
Once he arrived, he saw that Kat hadn't returned yet either. Grimacing at the thought what her probable reason might be, he looked around somewhat helplessly for a few moments, before he shrugged in resignation. He hadn't meant to intrude on Kat's privacy, had certainly not intended to reveal his growing feelings to her. But he inadvertently had, and there was nothing he could do about it now but face the consequences. They'd just have to deal with them together as best they could.
*Hopefully, she'll just think it was a purely physical reaction for me. I mean, it's only natural that I'd react at seeing her naked, especially unexpectedly like that – and won't realize that I feel anything else for her. Even if I do. Maybe then we can at least salvage our friendship.*
Because that was the one thing Jason didn't want to lose, even if he'd lost a chance at anything more even before he knew her.
*Tommy, you have no idea how much I envy you, man. And with any luck, you'll never find out. I'll bring her back to you even if it kills me – if just by making sure we both survive until you guys can get us back.*
However, if – when – that should ever come to pass, there were more immediate concerns to be dealt with. Like, seeing that their food supply was adequate. And while he was waiting for Kat to return, as she eventually must, he might as well do something useful. With a resigned groan, Jason retrieved one of the birds he'd stowed in their "cellar" earlier and began to pluck the coarse feathers.
~*~
The two looked at each other across the flickering flames of their fire, trying to read each other's thoughts … and failing miserably. Both could feel the color rising in their cheeks and were profoundly thankful that the other couldn't see it in the uncertain light.
Feeling awkward and slightly foolish, Kat at last stepped into the circle of brightness cast by the fire and sank down across from Jason. She wished she knew how to break the uncomfortable silence between them, but couldn't find the words.
Neither could Jason; he'd paused in his plucking and regarded his blonde companion warily, not knowing at all what to expect. Anger and recrimination? Cold fury? Tears of embarrassment? All of the above? He had no idea at all how Kat might react, but anything had to be better than the way she was pointedly avoiding his eyes. Jason really wished to say something to end this impasse, but simply didn't know what or how.
*Damn,* he thought.
And repeated it aloud almost immediately as a small but strong breeze blew from the lake, stirring their fire into sending up a shower of sparks … and caught the pile of feathers next to him, making them dance and fall all over the place like a multi-hued very small snowstorm.
"Damn!"
Jason dumped the bird's carcass onto a convenient stone slab, jumped up and hastily started collecting the feathers again; they needed them for ground cover. Moss and dried grass just didn't cut it – not in the long run, anyway, and with inadequate weapons they couldn't get enough animal hides to provide bedding as well as clothing and shelter.
With a soft exclamation of dismay of her own, Kat hurried to help him, quickly grabbing the rather tattered blanket from their shelter. It was hardly sufficient to store their supply of feathers, but it would do to collect and contain them until morning.
Like a well-oiled machine, the two castaways fell into a rhythm of working together, like they had learned to do during the long months of their stay in the past. When they were done at last and had secured the tightly-folded blanket with a rock, they shared a triumphant smile and settled back at the fire, more than ready for their dinner. Which Kat provided with a few practiced movements. It was too late now for the stew she'd planned to start, but there was no reason why they couldn't munch on the strips of dried meat and few vegetables that were supposed to go into the pot instead. Hungrily, they started to eat.
The brief, frantic activity, though, served to break the ice between them, and they were able to converse naturally again, for which both were grateful. By mutual, if silent, consent, they decided to ignore the little scene at the water inlet. That is, they didn't mention it at all – except when Kat got up to stow their utensils, Jason softly called her name.
"Um, Kat?"
She froze momentarily, but made herself look over her shoulder. "Yes?"
He looked contrite … and just a tad sheepish. "About earlier…" He swallowed hard. "I, uh, I didn't mean to barge in on you like that." For a second, it looked as if he wanted to add something, but didn't. Instead, all he added was a very sincere-sounding "Sorry."
Now Kat knew she was blushing. Fiercely. This was all? There had been so much more to it than simply coming up on her unawares; Jason had to have watched her at least for a few minutes to react as he had, and all he could say was that he was sorry? Kat suddenly found herself wanting to discuss what had happened, very reluctant to do just that and at the same time relieved that it had been mentioned and forgiveness been asked. Relief won out. Thus, she was unable to do anything other than accept the simple apology.
"I know. It's okay."
The broad shoulders sagged in obvious relief. "Thanks."
"Don't mention it."
"I won't."
She couldn't help herself, she just had to say it, with a big show of wiping off an imaginary sweatdrop. "Whew."
And had the satisfaction of hearing Jason's laughter follow her.
~*~
Angel Grove, The Present
"How are they holding up?"
Trini's concerned question caught Tommy just as he entered the Power Chamber; Dimitria had agreed to issue the former Rangers teleportation devices that allowed them access, but nothing more. They needed to continue their rescue efforts if they ever hoped to get Jason and Katherine back, and it was just too impractical to have to rely on the active-duty team for transportation.
He shrugged, his expression hovering between depressed and resigned, and wandered over to the far side of the large room, where he sank down to lean against one wall, head bowed over his knees. He was the picture of abject misery. It was Kimberly who answered her friend, having teleported in right behind her ex-boyfriend. Sending a worried look in Tommy's direction, she, too, shrugged.
"How do you think? Eaten up with worry, cursing one minute, crying their hearts out the next. Well, at least Doris and Helen are doing the crying; the dads are more, like, trying to avoid drinking themselves into oblivion," she sighed. She and Tommy had just visited the Hillards and Scotts. It had not been a pleasant experience.
"I can't say I blame them," Trini murmured. "I don't even want to imagine my parents in that situation." She shuddered.
"Me neither. How are things at this end?" Kim wanted to know. Billy was hunched over a computer console, doing who knew what, with Adam hovering close by. There was no sign of the others. "Any progress yet?"
"Not really," the slender Asian sighed. "Billy really needs Justin to help him, as he's the only one who comes even close to understanding half the calculations he's doing, but what with school, living much more closely supervised at the shelter than we ever did and generally lacking the knowledge and experience that comes with … well, being just older, it's tough going."
"Not to mention that pirate chick interrupting at the worst possible moment all the time." Kim grimaced as the alarms went off yet again and five multi-hued streaks of light convalesced in the pit before Dimitria's warp tube. Billy visibly started, yanked out of whatever scientific realm he'd been in.
The girls rolled their eyes at each other and moved aside to let the Rangers have the room they needed to deal with the newest monster attack. They itched to help, but without a viable power source that naturally was out of the question. There was no choice but to stand back and let the newbies handle things. Soon, TJ gathered his team and vanished, leaving Alpha Six busy at the monitors, to engage Divatox and her minions in battle once more.
As the always-frantic activity surrounding a monster attack muted to a busy hum, Billy rubbed his eyes, stretched and got up from his chair, gradually working the kinks out of his back as he joined his friends.
"Have you got anything, Billy?" Kim asked hopefully, only to sigh when he shook his head no.
*We all seem to do a lot of that lately,* Kim thought privately to herself. *Sighing up a storm like characters in a gothic novel.* It made her smile briefly as she pictured herself and her friends wandering over storm-swept moors. Soon, however, the levity vanished, to be replaced yet again by a concerned frown.
"Nothing at all?"
"No," the scientist replied tersely, feeling immensely frustrated at his inability to produce results. "I've scanned the historical records of this area for any sign of Jason and Kat's presence; there's a minuscule chance that they might have devised some method of letting us know where – when – they are stranded, but that didn't produce any viable results. Which in all likelihood means they're too far back in time for there to be any chance to leave us a message of sorts. That is assuming that they even think of this method and/or have the means to implement it. Another possibility we may not disregard is that they might well be stranded beyond any form of civilization that would allow them to leave a clue for us."
Unspoken remained the thought that their friends were incapable of making a mark of sorts because they were incapacitated – sick, injured or worse. Billy was not a natural optimist, but against logic he refused to take that scenario into account; he had too much trust in Jason and Kat's ingenuity, determination and sheer stubbornness to believe that they wouldn't at least try to contact the future – them – if they could.
*Besides, if I consider failure I might as well save myself the effort of searching for them. What was it Jason was – is! – so fond of saying? 'With the Rangers, anything is possible.' Therefore, defeatism is not an option.*
Still, it was growing increasingly difficult to stay positive and keep working when one ran into one impenetrable wall after the other.
"Bummer," Kim muttered. She looked up briefly as the outer door swooshed open and their other four friends entered together – Rocky, Tanya, Aisha and Zack. Their eyes zeroed in on Billy as if drawn by a magnet. She hated doing it, but had no choice – before Rocky could do more than open his mouth to ask the question on all their minds, she shook her head to forestall him.
"Still nothing."
"Aw, man!" Zack groaned. "How long is it gonna take to find them, anyway?"
"I don't know," Billy admitted. "I am working as fast as I can, but so far any positive results remain unfortunately elusive. And I simply cannot risk choosing speed over diligence; not when their lives may be at stake."
"How long has it been now since they were sucked into that time hole?" Aisha asked. Tanya checked her watch.
"Almost forty-eight hours."
"I don't even wanna think about what all can happen to them in two days," Rocky mumbled. His imagination insisted on showing him pictures of wild animals attacking, Indians torturing them, desperadoes taking them captive …
*Stop it, DeSantos. You've been watching too many black-and-white Westerns again!*
"Neither of us does," Adam said quietly, having made a short detour past a food synthesizer. He wordlessly handed Billy a plate with sandwiches and a cup of juice. When Billy was about to refuse automatically, he copied his mother's best disapproving expression.
"I'm not hung-"
"Don't give me that. Your mind may not feel like eating, but I bet you anything your stomach does; you have been stuck at that console for – what, six hours now without a break? When was the last time you had a bite, anyway?"
As if on cue, the blond's stomach growled loudly. Billy blushed, and everybody managed a grin or a chuckle.
Adam barely suppressed a smug grin, just thrust the plate with sandwiches at his friend. Billy dearly wanted to refuse again, but a second loud rumble from his midsection changed his protest into resigned acceptance.
"Point taken. Thank you, Adam."
Feeling suddenly famished, Billy reached for and bit into the top sandwich. The taste of BLT on rye exploded on his taste buds, and he nearly moaned with pleasure; it had been ages since he'd had one of those! "I missed this on Aquitar," he admitted, barely remembering to swallow before he spoke. "Algae sausages and kelp pie may be both tasty and nutritious, but they don't really compare …"
He was interrupted by Tommy who had decided to join his friends now that the group was complete.
*Not quite. Two are still missing – the ones most important to me.*
Briefly, his eyes flickered to Kimberly, but he looked away again when he met her sympathetic gaze. He couldn't deal with her right now – not when there had been moments when all he'd wanted to do was gather her into his arms, hide his face in her caramel locks and pour out his anguish to her – like he'd done when he'd lost the Green Ranger powers, when Jason had left for Geneva or when the responsibility of being the White Ranger and new team leader had threatened to overwhelm him. Tommy knew, deep down, that he still had unresolved feelings for Kim which he kept buried most of the time, that he still cared, but he had not expected those feelings to resurface at this most unsuitable time!
*I should be worrying about Kat, my girlfriend, about how she's doing and trying to get her back safe and sound, not whether my Ex will think less of me when I lose it!*
To hide his embarrassment and twinges of guilt, Tommy searched for – and found – an outlet for his mounting frustration.
"How can you be eating when Kat and Jason could be starving?" he snapped, more harshly than he'd intended. "Waxing rhapsodic over a sandwich when they might be in danger …"
His rant was cut short by Aisha. Exasperated, she shook her head.
"Don't be an idiot, Tommy," she stopped him. "You know that's not fair; Billy is doing the best he can, and it's hardly his fault that things aren't going as fast as you – as we all – would like them to go!"
Tommy glowered at her mutinously.
More calmly, Aisha continued. "Besides, he has to eat.. And sleep, eventually. If Billy collapses from overwork, it'll just take us that much longer to get them back."
"Aisha is right, Tommy, and you know it," Trini soothed. "We all know how you must be feeling and believe me, we sympathize fully, but we have to be reasonable about the whole thing. As Billy and Justin said, we can't afford to make any mistakes; if we do, it could prove more dangerous to Jase and Kat than anything they're facing right now. It won't hurt them to go without food for a couple of days if they really have to, as long as they have water. And taking proper care of ourselves by eating and resting is the only way to make sure that we stay as alert as we have to be."
"I'm truly trying as hard as I can, Tommy," Billy supplied quietly, sending a grateful glance at the two former Yellow Rangers. Having Tommy mad at him was not something he cared to experience. "I care about them, too."
"I know it's not gonna be easy, but be reasonable, man," Rocky added, for once very serious. "Billy's the best chance we've got."
Breathing hard, Tommy looked at his friends. They were right, but in his present state of mind, especially after facing the two sets of distraught parents, he simply didn't feel like being reasonable. He wanted Jason and Kat back, and he wanted it now! But in the face of their unstinting compassion, knowing that they all worried almost as much as he did, he couldn't say that, could he?
Feeling helpless and frustrated, he rubbed the back of his neck, searching for something to say to express his feelings, but nothing sprang to mind.
*I hate this!*
Cursing under his breath, Tommy whirled around and stormed away, out of the Power Chamber, leaving his friends behind.
"He's taking it hard," Zack commented.
"Wouldn't you, in his shoes?" Tanya queried. "I mean, we've all gone through times when one of us was in danger, right? And every one of us was going bonkers. But this time it's two, and the ones Tommy's closest to. He has a right to be upset."
"Even if it's more so than usual," Rocky added.
"Yes," Trini agreed. "Besides, before we always had the Power to help us; we don't now."
Aisha sighed. "I know how helpless I feel; I don't even want to imagine what it must be like for Tommy. If it had happened to you guys ..." She looked significantly at Adam and Rocky, who couldn't suppress pleased smiles at the unspoken admission of the affection the childhood friends shared.
"Yeah," Adam said quietly. "And we're not even in love." Instinctively, he moved towards Tanya and slipped an arm around her waist. She snuggled up against him and gave him a grateful look full of understanding. Slowly, the others nodded in agreement, and there were a lot of pensive looks in evidence.
~*~
Standing a bit apart, Kimberly's mouth formed a moue of speculation. She very definitely shared her friends' feelings, but … there was an added element for her that she was very carefully keeping to herself. She knew Tommy better than anyone else, and wanted very much to help him – only, there was nothing really that she could do. And the one thing she could offer him – a shoulder to cry on and her unconditional support – might be too much.
*What if he does come to me, and I can't stop myself from, well, kissing his worry away, like I did when Zedd was draining his Powers?*
Because that was what deep down she wanted to do. Breaking up with her boyfriend had been the worst mistake of her life, and she'd give almost anything to retract that stupid letter. However, the past couldn't be undone, and if returning another woman to the man she still cared about was what it took to make him happy, then that was what she'd do. Even if it meant burying her own feelings so deeply that nothing and nobody would ever find them.
*I just wish I didn't feel so good about it when he chooses me of all people to confide in,* she thought with yet another sigh. *I can't help but hope and wish that there's still something left between us.*
And not for the first time in the past two days Kimberly faced the thought that the way would be clear for her to win Tommy back if Kat would never return.
*NO! She's my friend, too. I do want her to come back, and Jase, and I want everybody to be happy again …*
Feeling horribly guilty about even thinking such a thing, the petite gymnast resolutely shoved her hair out of her eyes and left her friends quietly discussing things with Billy and wandered after Tommy.
She found him outside, on the rocks overlooking the desert. Her heart ached for him when she saw the dejected slump to his shoulders, and knew it was time for another pep talk.
*Not that I haven't told him not to give up on Billy and Justin yet a dozen times already … but sometimes, Tommy just won't listen.*
"Tommy? Are you okay?" she asked softly when even after a few minutes he wouldn't turn to look at her. It was a pretty silly question, all things considered, but she had to get him to talk somehow.
Kimberly wasn't surprised when he only replied with a mirthless laugh.
"What do you think?!?"
"I think that you shouldn't give up hope yet. It's not as if everybody isn't trying."
"Trying, trying … what if trying isn't enough? For God's sake, Kim, it's been two days! You know what all can happen in two days!"
"Yes, but I also know that Jason and Kat are neither stupid nor completely helpless. They will make sure to avoid danger." The petite brunette kept her voice deliberately low and soothing.
"What if they can't, though? What if whatever situation they're in is too much for them to handle?"
She rolled her eyes at Tommy's back. He was being his usual stubborn self again, but the pessimism was not like him. At all. *Gotta snap him out of it, fast.* "Why do you keep on seeing things in the most negative light? For all we know, they may be sitting safe and sound at the lakeshore, just waiting for us to open a portal."
He glared at her briefly over his shoulder. "Or they could be fighting for their lives."
Kim huffed exasperatedly. "Against what? Or whom?"
Tommy shook his head helplessly. "How should I know? The possibilities are endless … wild animals, the natives, settlers … even the elements. What if there's an earthquake?"
She groaned. *Guess the Guilt King of Angel Grove is back. Sheesh.* "Tommy, Jason grew up here in California. He may not have been an Eagle Scout, with a bunch of merit badges, but he does have good enough woodsmanship skills to get by. Plus, he knows better than to risk a run-in with people, if there even are any. Remember that this region wasn't even really settled before the Gold Rush in 1848 except for some isolated farms and outposts? The name 'Angel Grove' may have existed already, but the city was founded well after that."
"Yeah well, maybe, but …"
"No buts," she interrupted him firmly. *Looks as if for once, being reasonable works …*
"Do yourself and us all a favor and think positive? If we use up our energies to imagine all the things that could go wrong for them, we won't have enough to spare to work on a solution on our end."
Kim's words made an awful lot of sense, Tommy knew, and part of him felt indeed cheered up, at least a little. He sighed deeply, and finally stepped away from the cliff's edge, to sit on a convenient rock. Running both hands through his long hair, he looked up at Kimberly, his brown eyes forlorn.
"I know that. But I can't seem to help myself."
She smiled and sank down next to him. Kim very much wanted to drape an arm around his shoulders, but didn't quite dare, for fear she wouldn't be able to stop herself from more.
*Like kissing him …* She pushed the thought away.
"The inactivity is getting to you, huh?"
"Yeah," Tommy sighed. "I mean, I know Billy is doing the best he can, but I just wish there was something I could do, y'know?"
"We all do," Kim agreed. "But except for Justin, and maybe Trini and Adam, we can't. At least not now, while we still have to find them in the first place."
Tommy snorted. "Yeah."
They were silent for a minute, then Kim nudged him just a little with her elbow. When Tommy sent a questioning glance her way, she ventured a tiny grin. "Waiting sucks, right?"
To her relief, Tommy gave her the hint of an answering grin. "No kidding."
The pause following this profound exchange wasn't as heavy or as long as some others before. Before it went on too long, though, Kimberly put a hand briefly on his forearm.
"Tommy … if you need to talk, about anything, I'm here. And willing to listen."
The offer was tempting. But could he really share his feelings for Kat with Kimberly – his ex-girlfriend? He knew she was aware of the bond he shared with Jason; after all, she'd been there every step of the way when they became the best of friends, as close as brothers. She would understand. But to talk about his new love to his former one … no. He just couldn't do that.
"Anything, Tommy. I mean it," Kim interrupted his thoughts gently, repeating her offer.
*Hmm. Kim is a good listener – always was. I can't tell her how much I miss Kat, but …*
"I'm just so afraid that they'll get hurt, or something, before we find them," he admitted at last, choosing a legitimate concern. It would help to share at least something of his fears, as his friends – and Kim especially – had taught him years ago. "I know Jase will look out for Kat, but what if he has an accident or stuff? What'll happen to her then?"
Kimberly opened her mouth to reply, visibly swallowed whatever she was going to say and instead just gave him a Look. One that made Tommy feel slightly foolish and put him instantly on the defensive.
"What? It's a perfectly good question!"
Kim tilted her head. "Maybe," she conceded. However, there was one thing Tommy – being Tommy – was conveniently overlooking. And it galled her. Well, apparently it was time someone pointed it out to him. "Tell me, Mr. Macho, has it ever occurred to you that if Jase should be hurt, Kat would look after him?"
Clearly, it hadn't.
"She's not some damsel in distress, you know," the gymnast added, letting just a trace of smugness show in her voice at his denseness. "Kat's been a Ranger, too; she may not have your or Jason's fighting experience, but she's hardly helpless."
"She's always calling for my help in a fight," Tommy protested. "You did, too!"
"Sometimes, yes," Kimberly acknowledged. "But that didn't mean that in a pinch I couldn't take care of myself if I had to – and my team mates. And I'm sure Kat can do it, too."
"How would you know? You never served on the same team with her," Tommy murmured petulantly, uncomfortably aware that the argument didn't quite wash. Both his girlfriends had demonstrated often enough that they were anything but the 'weaker' sex. He just didn't like to admit that if they were really as strong as Kim indicated, they might … not need him. And that was something Tommy knew he'd hate.
"I fought her on Muranthias, remember?" Kim said dryly. "It didn't look then as if she had any problems fighting back, or needed your help."
*Damn, she's right!*
"But … but …" he started weakly, only to be interrupted right away.
"But what, Tommy?" Kim wasn't cutting him any slack, neither now or when they still had been a couple. "You like helping others, whether they need it or not. Especially if you care for someone. Which is all good. And to be frank, it's kind of nice for a girl to have a big strong guy to call on, sort of like having one's very own knight in shining armor. But that doesn't mean we can't cope if he's not around."
That was exactly what he feared. He knew it wasn't a very healthy mindset, but couldn't help himself. Feeling wanted and, yes, needed made him feel good, and finding out that he wasn't … truth be told, it was one thing that had bothered him most about Kim breaking up with him. Tommy honestly wanted her to be happy, and if that was with someone other than him, well, he'd learn to cope. Somehow. But to think that she didn't need him in her life anymore – well, that had HURT. In a very big way. And he still didn't know how to handle that. If the same thing happened with Katherine … he shuddered.
"I need her," he whispered out of his thoughts. *To be safe, to come back, to need me …*
Kim winced inwardly. When had he ever said that to her? Even during the dark days when he was losing his Powers not once, but twice, he'd told her how much he appreciated her help and support, he'd given her words of love even once they became a couple, but never had he mentioned his need of her. And it hurt, now as much as then.
However, this was not the right time to bring it up. Right now, they needed to focus their efforts on bringing their friends back from the past, and to do that, they all had to be at their most efficient. Self-pity had no place, neither for her nor for Tommy.
"I know you do," she soothed, her heart breaking just a little. "But have a little trust in Billy and Justin, okay? When they find them, they're going to need all of us to help."
"How can we help them? How can I? I'm not a genius like them, there's no monster to fight, I don't even have Powers to give anymore …" He remembered how effortlessly he'd offered his own communicator to Billy when the then-Blue Ranger had asked for the devices to bring Kimberly back from 1880, not caring that as team leader he really shouldn't …
"How? By not nagging them; by giving Billy moral support, if nothing else. By letting them work at their own pace. And once Jase and Kat are back, they'll want you around to help them get over the experience, I'm sure. They're gonna need you then."
"You think?" The hopeful look in the chocolate eyes was almost painful to see.
"Yes," Kimberly smiled. "Trust me, Tommy, it'll be a long time until we can do without you. In a lot of things."
He gave her a grateful smile back, managed to draw a deep, cleansing breath and squared his shoulders. "In that case, I better see if there's anything I can do. Even if it's only to supply Billy with donuts, or whatever." He'd often teased his friend about his tendency to gorge on sugary things when he was working on a particularly hairy problem. Kimberly saw it with relief.
"You do that. I'll get the cola. We just gotta keep Rocky away from it," she grinned, got up from the rock she'd sat on and surreptitiously dusted off her bottom. "Yuck, my jeans!"
Tommy felt secretly amused, but made no comment. This was vintage Kim, and he still missed it sometimes. All he did, however, was hold out his hand towards her. When she placed her slender fingers in his palm, he gave them a small squeeze. There was so much he wanted to tell her, to express his appreciation for what she had done – was still doing for him, but couldn't find the words. So he settled for a simple "Thanks, Kim."
She pressed back. "You're welcome." She knew he was thanking her for more than the pep talk.
"Let's see if we have to make a supply run to the sweet shop?"
"Sure."
Together, the two returned to the Power Chamber.
To Be Continued …