Note: I did promise you two weeks, didn't I? Well, here it is, the second half of chapter 6. J Hope it was worth the wait … and if it was (or wasn't), drop me a note, please? Enjoy! DB
Times Present, Times Past
Chapter 6: Hope And Need, Pt.2
Angel Grove, The Past
It wasn't there.
The meadow where, in their time, Angel Grove Park existed was the same serene stretch of plain, empty grass it had been the moment she and Jason had tumbled out of the time hole. Only the small stone cairn they'd set up to mark the spot was different. And there was no sign at all that a time hole was forming, had formed when nobody had been looking or would form in the near future.
*It's not fair!*
Kat hadn't truly believed that she would find a way back home when she'd ambled over from their camp, but she had hoped … and with more than a trace of desperation. Today marked the one-year anniversary of their temporal displacement, and while she'd actively tried not to put too much significance on the date, she hadn't been able to help herself. So, after feeling increasingly antsy all day, she'd finally abandoned her chores and made her way back to where it had all started.
"I should have known," she sighed forlornly. The blonde sank to her knees, staring blindly at the ground, fighting tears. Why, oh why had she let herself believe that just because 365 days had passed, today would be the day their friends would rescue them? If they managed the feat at all, it was just as likely that it might have happened last week, would happen tomorrow or a month from now …
*… or maybe not at all.*
For the first time, Kat fully faced that possibility, something she'd been reluctant to do until here and now. However, it had always been at the back of her and Jason's minds, but so far, both of them steadfastly refused to think of it – because it would take their already difficult situation beyond desperate into utterly hopeless.
Her shoulders shook as she fought her tears. Crying, as she had learned, served no purpose and would only give her a headache on top of the always-present faint hunger pangs. Jason did his utmost hunting and fishing, and Kat herself had become quite adept at foraging for edible fruit and plants, but somehow it was never quite enough. The days when they could both eat their fill were few and far between, and after a year the effects of a pretty monotone diet were starting to make themselves felt. She'd even had dreams of milk, bread or sweets sometimes.
*I always wanted to lose those eight extra pounds, but not like this!*
"They have to get us back. They have to!" she whispered into the wind, clenching her fists around clumps of grass to prevent herself from beating the earth in utter desperation. "Tommy, why haven't you found us yet? Why are you leaving me here all alone?"
Naturally, no reply was forthcoming, and Katherine breathed harshly, trying to stifle the need to sob, to cry out her anguish as waves of need for her friends, her family, her boyfriend warred with upsurges of fear that she'd never see any of them again – that she'd be left stranded in the past, all alone and helpless. She couldn't remember ever feeling so lost … or so abandoned by everything or everyone.
~But you aren't.~
The thought managed to still her trembling. *I'm not?*
~No. You have Jason. As long as he's with you, you're none of these things.~
It was like talking to herself, in a way, and yet it wasn't; Kat was familiar with that little voice at the back of her mind; it usually helped her argue a way through her small (and not so small) dilemmas. She didn't want to go so far as to call it her conscience – most of the time, anyway – but it often came very close to being just that. The voice did always manage to give her some insight and perspective, however, and now was no exception.
*Okay. So where does that leave me, though?*
~That is entirely your choice.~
*Huh?*
~Either you decide to stay as miserable as you are now … or you throw your lot in with him.~
*But I've already done that!*
~Have you really?~
And with that enigmatic question, her little voice fell silent again.
*What's that supposed to mean?*
There was no answer, but the Australian neither expected nor really needed one; she knew all too well what her 'nag' was hinting at. She had grown very close to Jason; not a totally unexpected development, given their isolation and mutual dependence, but much to her secret chagrin, there was more to it than that.
Ever since that little episode at the water a few weeks ago there had been a new awareness between her and Jason – not enough to make her truly uncomfortable, but it was there. He had changed from being just a friend (albeit a very close one) to … well, a man, and a very attractive one to boot. She knew in her innermost being that it was the same for him, even though they hadn't spoken about it. It was disturbing, yet oddly comforting, too – it gave her a feeling as if she only needed to reach out, and she'd be safe again.
"I can't," she whimpered very softly to herself. "I must not see more in him than my friend!"
For if she did, she'd be betraying Tommy.
Only, Tommy was so far away, possibly out of her reach forever, and the distance between them seemed to grow with every passing day. What was she going to do if they were truly stranded in the past – permanently? Even now, there were moments when she had difficulty recalling Tommy's smile, his touch. Kat fought it as much as possible, but it was getting harder and harder.
And she needed so!
Needed to be no longer hungry, scared and alone, needed to feel safe, needed to have someone hold her …
Moaning, she clutched her middle and bent over, hiding the tears she could no longer hold back behind her long hair.
~*~
Jason was watching Kat from the tree line, giving her as much privacy and space as possible. The camp had been uncharacteristically deserted and he'd seen that not much had been done. He had a pretty good idea where he might find her, though, so he'd quickly seen to it that their fire would not go out and had followed the path to where he suspected Kat had wandered off to. For he, too, was aware of the date; while he tried not to put too much significance on it, it had been a constant companion in his thoughts all day. His suspicions were confirmed when he saw Kat kneeling next to the low cairn they had erected a year ago, and it pained him to observe her anguish.
Kat's body language spoke volumes, even from a slight distance, but Jason didn't want to intrude on her. *I've done that once already, even if I didn't mean to; I'm not gonna do it again!* He felt himself grow hot all over as he recalled the image of her in the nude, standing only hip-deep in the clear water, her skin beaded with glittering droplets and looking so very desirable that he still didn't know how he'd managed to walk away. With an effort, he wrenched his thoughts back to the present.
*I'll just keep close, in case she needs me. But I will stay away until she asks for me.*
However, Jason's resolve was shattered when he saw her doubling over, her slender body wracked with crying. Taking a few long, hasty steps, he stood behind her, a last vestige of insecurity staying his hand from reaching out.
Kat sobbed once, then emitted a sound halfway between a moan and a wail.
It was too much for Jason; without further hesitation he sank down next to her and gathered Kat in his arms.
She froze for an instant, then gave in to her feelings; she turned into the broad chest, flung her arms around Jason and started to cry in earnest.
He held her, rocking her gently just like he'd done a year ago when they'd first realized what had happened to them. As then, he crooned softly without words, hoping that just the sound of his deep voice would soothe her enough to let her regain her composure. Jason knew that she might need the relief her tears would hopefully give her; to be honest, it awarded himself no small measure of comfort to be close to someone, to experience the simple ease a friend's touch could bring. And by resting his bearded cheek on the flaxen tresses, he could let himself shed a few tears of his own at the apparent hopelessness of their situation.
"Shhh, baby. It's okay. I have you." His voice was rough with emotion.
Kat just continued to tremble in his arms. Jason tightened his grip.
"Let it out, hon. Just don't make yourself sick," he murmured, swaying back and forth just a little. Kat must've heard him, because she wept harder, great wrenching sobs that tore at Jason's heart. He desperately wanted to do more, to ease her anguish, but didn't know how – not when he was feeling pretty much helpless himself. So, he just stroked her hair, her back, her arms, anywhere he could reach, easing them into a more comfortable, half-sitting position on the springy turf, praying it would be enough.
Seemed it was; after a long time, the desperate crying abated gradually, but the two continued to cling to each other; Kat was still shaking, and Jason was loathe to let her go.
*I just wish it didn't feel so damn good to be holding her!*
It would be far too easy to shift just a tiny bit, to brush Kat's smooth forehead with his lips … giving her a caress that had been innocent once, but would no longer be so.
*If I kiss her cheek, I don't think I can stop myself from doing more. And I must not do that … for all our sakes!*
So Jason kept hugging his friend, trying with all his might to ignore how well Kat fit against him, how soft her arms felt around his waist … how enticingly her scent surrounded him.
*Tommy'll never forgive me …*
His thoughts were interrupted by Kat's voice, hoarse from crying. Her tear-wet face was buried in the crook of his neck, her breath a subtle eruption of air against his skin. Involuntarily, Jason shivered, but managed to hide his reaction. Barely.
"I- I'm s-sorry," she gasped.
"Don't be. You've held up so great all this time, there's no need to be ashamed if you lose it just once. You're entitled."
She gave a weak, humourless chuckle, closing weary, red-rimmed eyes.
"Like you aren't. But you don't."
"That's different."
"How? Don't tell me you haven't felt on occasion that you would like to cry … or at least cry out," she said on a heavy sigh.
*You have no idea how much, or how often, I wanted to do just that!*
"I won't, because you're right. But what good would it do?"
"About as much as it does – did – for me."
"Yeah well …"
There was nothing much either could say to the sheepish admission. Kat swallowed another, dry sob and finally voiced her greatest fear.
"We're never going to get home, are we?"
"I don't know," Jason admitted with painful honesty after a long moment. "I keep thinking that our friends won't give up on us, that they will find a way someday to get us back, but …"
"It's been a year, Jason," Kat murmured, sniffling. "Surely in all that time they ought to have found a way by now."
He sighed, instinctively rubbing slow circles up and down her back. "We don't know what's going on back home, babe" he reminded her. "For all we know, the guys may not be able to use the Power Chamber, whatever menace is threatening Earth by now may not leave the Rangers any choice to free resources to rescue us … the possibilities of something hindering them are endless." It was the leader in Jason speaking, used to facing and evaluating all angles of a situation. However, Jason the man found it nearly impossible to meet the pain-filled blue pools in Kat's pale face.
"Yes, but …"
He shook his head regretfully. "No buts, sorry." He inhaled deeply, wearily. "Kat, we mustn't give up hope yet. I honestly have no idea how long it's going to take until we get back to the present, but I do know that our friends will try everything they can to find us."
Kat was quiet for long moments, then whispered softly, so low that he almost couldn't hear.
"What if they can't? Ever?"
It was a possibility neither of them dared face. Jason's breath caught on the answer he wanted to give – 'they won't' – but couldn't. After twelve months, he very much feared it might be a lie.
So, he just held Kat more tightly, giving and finding solace in their embrace.
Kat waited for a reply; when it didn't come, she sighed tiredly, closed her eyes again and nestled against the broad chest, feeling herself gradually relax as the solid warmth of Jason's arms surrounding her eased the ring of pain around her heart.
"We will get home one day. We have to," he murmured like a mantra.
"I guess," Kat sighed with very little conviction, then fell quiet. After a short while, she spoke up again in a very small voice.
"Jase?"
"Hmm?"
"Can you hold me just a bit longer?"
There was so much pain and need in that innocent-seeming request that he couldn't bring himself to refuse.
"Sure. As long as you want me to."
"Th-thanks."
They sat close together on the sun-warmed earth, the grass crushed beneath their legs smelling sweetly as they held each other. It was actually a rather pleasant feeling, Jason thought hazily, shifting minutely into a more comfortable position. Kat accommodated the movement by rubbing her cheek against his shoulder, leaning her forehead more firmly into Jason's neck. She found herself drifting into an almost dreamlike state, caused by both physical and emotional exhaustion. Liking the sensation, she let herself slip deeper into the warmth and comfort, letting the quiet sounds of nature embrace them.
~*~
Jason briefly tightened his arms, then allowed himself to indulge in the comfort their embrace provided. It was … nice, holding his lovely companion like this, sensing the trust she offered him by being so open and vulnerable, letting him share her deepest fears even though Kat must've known he couldn't ease them. He blanked his mind for the now, gaining as much support as he needed in the physical contact, knowing that the feeling was quite mutual. And that, despite their predicament, felt decidedly good.
Too good.
Because while Jason might be able by sheer force of will to shut out his conscious thoughts momentarily, his body ran on instinct. Furthermore, that instinct had been honed by a year of living constantly on edge, trying to survive under most primitive conditions. The primal force of that had helped to keep them alive, but there was more to life than just subsisting. Life tried to reaffirm itself, in another basic urge, and that way lay danger.
This danger sent up screaming sirens of alarm as Kat's lips moved in a soundless murmur against his throat, caressing his skin in an unconscious touch that fired all of his senses. His heart began to race, and everything in him wanted, no, longed to take things just that tiny step further, to lower his head until his mouth would cover hers in a kiss that would sear not only themselves, but burn all bridges behind them.
*No …*
But the voice of reason, which had enabled Jason to step back into the solitary shadows of the forest only a few scant weeks ago, was growing weaker by the second, losing ground with every breath he took, with every pulse of his blood which yearned for completion, with every instant that he continued to hold temptation in his arms.
With a last-ditch attempt of his willpower, Jason let go of Kat.
Or at least he tried; for as soon as the blonde felt his arms loosen around her back, she held him more tightly, whimpering a wordless protest.
"Kat, don't," he requested, keeping his touch light with difficulty.
"Don't let go of me," she begged, lifting wide, desolate eyes to his. "I need you …"
Jason threw his head back and groaned, his face rigid. "I know. That's the problem!"
"I … I don't understand …" She only knew that she couldn't lose the feeling of safety she had just experienced in his arms, that she'd be utterly and completely alone if Jason moved away. *Tommy's already lost to me.* That thought somehow had crystallized in her mind without her realizing – nor wishing – it. *I couldn't bear it if Jason left me, too!*
Midnight eyes bored into hers with an intensity she had never seen in them before – except one time, when they both had done their utmost to free Tommy from his brainwashing by Prince Gasket.
"Yes, you do. Remember what happened at the inlet recently? I'm only Human, Kat; I can't fight both your need … and my own!"
She blushed fiercely at the reminder of his visible reaction to the sight of her, but didn't look away.
"I'm Human, too. And maybe …" Kat swallowed hard; the admission wasn't easy to make, but here and now it seemed the right thing to do. Even though it was defeat. "Maybe I don't want you to fight the need anymore," she finished in a whisper.
Jason's heart gave a lurch; had he heard right?
"…what?"
The blonde felt her shoulders slump and fresh tears gather in her eyes. "I'm tired, Jason. So tired and sick of being lost and alone and frightened … and when you hold me like you did just now, all that seems not quite as bad as it is when I'm by myself. Is it so bad of me to want at least a little relief?"
He felt absurdly pleased, and his expression softened. "No, of course not."
"Then why won't you let me stay here just a little longer?" 'Here' meant in his arms, as they were both aware.
It was Jason's turn to blush. He would have liked to give anything not to have to say it outright, but Kat left him no choice. "Because when I hold you like this, I can't help but want to do more. Like, kiss you. Really kiss you. And I don't think I could stop there," he confessed. "You know what would happen then, don't you?"
Her gaze never faltered as Kat pondered the implications of Jason's admission. Deep inside, she had known it would boil down to this – a choice between Tommy and Jason – and that it was going to be up to her to decide one way or another. After what seemed like a small eternity, she answered at last.
"Yes."
It was the merest whisper, hardly more than a breath, and yet Jason could hear clearly that the small word, all of three letters long, contained far more than a simple affirmative to his question. It was instead acceptance of everything he had just offered, against reason, fuelling his wildest hopes … and making his need almost unbearable.
His mouth grew dry, and he felt suddenly dizzy. A remnant of clear thought made him ask what he had to, given the man he was, even though it cost him dearly.
"What about Tommy, though?" he whispered hoarsely.
Kat sighed and grew slightly pale. She didn't really want to think about the decision she'd just made, but …
"I don't know," she replied. "I miss him, yes, and I don't want to hurt him, but … "
"We both will, if we do not stop."
*Oh God, this is so hard!* Haltingly, Kat tried to put into words what until now she'd only felt subconsciously.
"Possibly. Probably. But Jason … you and I both need each other, too. For survival. Physically, we've managed so far. Do you really think he couldn't forgive us if we tried to survive emotionally, too? Because that's what it is, this thing between us. Isn't it?"
It was that, and yet so much more, at least for Jason. But he couldn't tell Kat; not when she was looking at him with so much need and hope.
"I guess. And I wish I knew. I hope so." The instant he said that last sentence, Jason wished he could take the words back. It was as good as acquiescing to Kat's request. And he was too aware that neither his strength nor his will were enough anymore to refuse. His defeat was complete when Kat reached up with an unsteady hand and cupped his cheek.
"We'll have to trust he'll understand."
"Kat …" he murmured, torn with longing.
"Just hold me," she begged again. "Don't let go of me …"
It was too much. Surrendering himself to need and sweet temptation, Jason once more wrapped his arms around the slender form resting so trustingly against him and bent his head.
*God, forgive me. And Tommy …*
He kissed her. Softly, gently at first, then with gradually rising passion as he found no resistance, just unhesitating response.
*Kat. My Kat. At last.*
It was the last coherent thought he had for quite a while.
~*~
It was raining; one of the infrequent but steady drizzling downpours that wasn't really uncomfortable or overly cold – not in California, anyway – but which made any kind of outside activity thoroughly unpleasant. Consequently, Jason and Kat had quickly taken care of the most pressing chores around their camp, then spent most of the day in their shelter, doing nothing but fiddle with minor things – some sewing for Kat, sharpening knives for Jason – while they waited for the rain to stop.
Ever since their first kiss in the meadow, the two had grown closer with each passing day, but much to Kat's surprise, Jason had not made any more moves towards her. Yes, they kissed on occasion, he would hug her with no reason every now and then, but that was it. For three weeks now, she'd expected him to take their relationship to where it was inexorably headed – consummation – but he seemed content to take it very slow.
Although they'd never actually spoken about it, both knew that they would eventually become intimate. Given their situation, it was the next inevitable step. On one level, Kat was grateful for the reprieve, glad that Jason didn't rush things, but on another, she felt it gave her way too much time to think. She'd made her decision after her emotional breakdown; what she neither wanted nor needed was to re-evaluate every little detail. Somewhere along the line, Kat had decided to live just for the moment, not to worry overmuch about what the next day would bring.
*Well, unless it's about food and weather and so on.*
But she no longer fretted daily about getting rescued, and that new attitude brought her a measure of peace that she hadn't known for all of a long, wearying year. However, Jason's reticence threatened that peace.
*Why can't he go on with it already?* Kat thought a bit resentfully, watching him munch on an apple while he was idly honing the edge of a small blade against the rock he was sitting on. His face was turned towards the shelter's exit, lost in the monotonous drip of rainwater from the nearest trees. *If he's waiting for me to make the first move, he's got another think coming!*
Blowing a strand of hair out of her eyes, she packed her sewing away. It was getting too dark to see, anyway. Then, the look in her eyes softened as she caught a whiff of the blooming twig Jason had brought for her yesterday. The scent was sweet and elusive, and Kat loved it. Carefully, she ran a fingertip over one of the delicate blossoms. It had been such a tender, even romantic thing for Jason to do; she couldn't help but be touched.
*Just like three days ago when he brought me those berries!* The first tiny strawberries of the year, found behind a rock, incredibly rare and so sweet the taste nearly brought tears to Kat's eyes as she slowly ate them from Jason's hand, savouring every morsel. Just as sweet had been the look from the dark eyes as he watched her blissful expression …
The memory caused a rush of heat to Kat's cheeks. She'd fed him the last berry, and had felt shivers race up and down her limbs when the firm lips nibbled at her fingertips, licking the last drops of juice away. And the kiss they'd shared afterwards …
*Oh my.*
Kat was still virgin; she and Tommy hadn't yet taken that final step in their relationship, but she'd thought often about how it would be like; if she would be afraid when the time came. Well, it wasn't going to be Tommy who would be the first man for her, but Jason – but that kiss had left no room for fear, just eagerness and anticipation.
Which Jason had summarily ignored, or so it seemed. And was still ignoring.
It was driving her crazy.
Slightly disgruntled, Kat decided to ignore him right back.
"I'm going to sleep," she announced, and without giving him another glance slipped under her covers.
"Good night," the deep voice just said, sounding faintly amused, or so Kat thought. "I'll be a little while yet. Sleep well."
"Hmph." Hitching the furs up to her ears, she turned her back towards Jason and determinedly closed her eyes. *I will sleep!*
It was easier said than done, though. The day of forced inactivity had let Kat rest, and while she dropped off quickly enough, she only managed little more than a light doze. Some time later, when night had fallen completely, she woke once more. Unconsciously, she'd turned and was now facing Jason again as she opened her eyes sleepily. He had moved to sit beside her, and was regarding her with an expression Kat had never seen before. She caught her breath, then felt her pulse begin to race as he reached out and gently stroked her face with his fingertips. The smile playing around the firm mouth was wistful and tender, and Katherine felt herself responding without thought.
Languidly, she captured the calloused hand and nestled her cheek into the palm, brushing the fleshy base of the thumb with her lips. The hand stilled.
"Kat?" he whispered, her name an eloquent plea on his lips.
As she had in the clearing, Kat replied simply and all-encompassingly.
"Yes."
Jason closed his eyes briefly. When he opened them again, Kat felt seared by the fire in the night-dark depths. Then he bent towards her … and his mouth and hands made her burst into flames.
~*~
Much later, the two lay closely entwined on their bed, skin to skin and heartbeat to heartbeat as they regained their breaths and their bodies cooled down. With a replete sigh, Kat rested her head on one broad shoulder, letting one hand trace idly around the hard sculpted muscles of Jason's chest. He, in turn, was doing marvellous things to her thighs and lower back.
"Mmmm," she purred contentedly. He chuckled.
"Little cat."
"Mreow," she smiled, then, with a slightly wicked grin, scratched him on the arm.
"Hey!"
"Cats do that," she said innocently.
"Only if they're not afraid to be punished," Jason rumbled.
"Punished? How?"
"You don't want to know."
Kat couldn't resist, she scratched Jason again. For good measure, she nipped his shoulder. "I'm so scared. Not!"
"Oh yeah?"
Before she could even emit a startled yelp, Kat found herself flipped on her back and thoroughly kissed. She was gasping for air and feeling more than slightly aroused – again! – when he let up. With a smug grin, he pulled her back into their former position. Kat laughed.
"If that is punishment, I'll have to be naughty more often," she murmured suggestively, sliding her leg over Jason's thigh. She wasn't quite bold enough yet to use her hands to explore.
"Mmmm." Jason replied, not in her former ladylike purr but a satisfied lion's growl. Then, he kissed her hair.
"No regrets?" he asked softly.
Kat took a few seconds to formulate her reply.
"Right now? Not a one," she finally said, feeling the broad chest heave a silent sigh of relief under her cheek. "I may have a million tomorrow, but here, tonight … everything is perfect. "
"Yeah," Jason agreed after a moment's reflection, completely understanding. They both fell silent again, listening to each other's heartbeats, idly kissing and touching until sleep overcame them both.
Outside, the rain stopped and thousands of diamond-like stars filled
the velvet of the nightly sky.
To Be Continued …