Evening, Fenris's Mansion

Fenris was, rather manically, looking for the hiding place of the emergency pack of slow death—because if trying to get along with a magister-cosplaying mage didn't constitute an emergency, nothing could. He agreed with Anders to "go out". And bond. Urgh.

He looked in the top drawer of his desk, on the off chance he was a complete idiot. No death sticks in there, though. Only sweet sticks. He'd been stocking up on lollipops for the last year. They were for his "special guest". It was later revealed to the host's dismay that sucking on sugar helped the brooding process.

He put a reddish one in his mouth—apple and raspberry—and stood up. The quest for the world's rankest tranquilisers continued. He was going to die at sixty. But he was going to die making sure Hawke knew it was all her fault.

After the fifth place he looked in, he stood up and gazed at his memorabilia shelves on the left of the fireplace. There was the demon eye ball from the Deep Roads. Everyone wanted one, including him, but for different reasons. The miner troglodytes and Carver wanted demon relics to attract mates, while he was "not like the other boys". He didn't need silly souvenirs for that. Hawke seemed impressed with him, and he felt good. But the reality was his mind was simply not on that, at the time. He was not like the other boys in ways he hadn't understood. Now he felt just like any other—foolish, repressed and very horny.

He looked at the black wing from his old leggings Hawke found in Tantervale, when she led the bounty hunters away from Kirkwall on her travels. He looked at the rose now pressed inside a book he once gave her as a joke the night she came back, after the ball. In hindsight, it was more than a joke. It wasn't about romance. He was mad at her. She'd fallen on the floor and picked herself up on one knee and made a sarcastic remark about how she'd dreamed of that day since she was a little girl. He derided her for being so desperate and lonely she'd tie down the Tevinter next door. She chuckled and smirked at his choice of words and said he wasn't entirely wrong. He had no disposition for her kinky remarks, and she whined that he didn't have a personality. So, he told her to hold on and got the rose out of his fancy breast pocket and completed her ensemble. He had a personality. It just came out at unexpected times. He held her wine hostage like a little sadist and told her to stay there and explain her absence. How did he not see what he was doing? She was the one who decided to put the rose in his memory shelves. To remember… "Whatever that was." Well, he remembered it now, and… he understood. He huffed a little. He found it kind of funny.

There was Shartan's book, the merula, one empty bottle of Aggregio Pavali. So many memories. He took Armand's silver leaf necklace off the shelf and put it around his neck, under his jumper. It felt nice and cold against his skin.

There was a thunder outside.

Speaking of which… the other problem. He rather felt he was ready to be fully intimate now. Well, sort of. He was still nervous and afraid. But the concept of fear every so often couldn't even make it past a proto-formation of thought. He was starting to feel like an animal at times, and that was not his colour. A while ago, he preferred waiting until after seeing the pain specialist. Now, his tired brain was fighting a losing battle. A losing battle against a big, beating, seething heart and a never-ending train of blood-boiling erections.

It didn't help that Hawke decided to "change her look". Not for him. No. For her… "archenemy". Fenris would have rolled his eyes, except they were coming out of their sockets. Hawke liked to say she wore her heart on her sleeve. It was a lot of metal and stripes and splashes of colour. And always in two's—two pigtails, two braids, two belts, two swords (regular and fun). Clown meets warrior. But now she said she wanted to wear her power on her sleeve. For the Knight-Commander. For Kirkwall. For the system. His eyes… refused to roll.

Her power looked like long, loose red hair with bangs that covered half her forehead. She had nice eyebrows, she had black eyeliner, she had brownish bow-shaped lips. She had a black choker and he had an aneurism. She had a very long black tunic with a collar and the red Amell symbol. The birds and lines covered and curved over her chest. His cock curved and crushed into his pocket belt. The material fell down tightly and opened over each thigh. She had one belt. Her trousers were black and tight. His trousers were black and tight. She had straps on her thighs, on her elbows, her shapely arse was carrying the tunic tail up at a distance…

He couldn't think anymore.

It didn't even matter. The mere concept of Hawke randomly popping into his mind made blood shoot through his veins like a pressurised faucet before the image even formed. Hawke was a feeling now, first and foremost. His first and foremost feeling. A feeling of happiness and home and… need. It wasn't easy being outside. But Mojo gave him the gift of a lot of distracting poop and one oddly long testicle. For a long time, his cold-shower strategy used to be thinking of Anders, but… Hawke shat all over that today…

At least it was her time of the month. He thought—Good going, Mother Nature. Keep me back. Keep him back. He is crazy. He wants her to sit on his face right now and for eternity, and when the apocalypse comes, he will throw her down and pile-drive her into oblivion!

Fenris bit on his lollipop and forgot what he was doing. He looked in the mirror. He looked like a fucking idiot.

But that deviant in him wouldn't let it go. He had… workaround ideas. He imagined his reflection in the mirror breaking symmetry and grabbing the edges, trying to come out on the other side. A hard-up grinning lunatic. He was saying—Who cares about Mother Nature? Forget the Wilds. Forget that shit! Just put your dick in her mouth! She loved that. See how deep her throat can take you. Spank her like a rockstar! Pull her hair! Tie her up! Slap her! Fuck the police!

It was a lot to keep down, a lot to control. He didn't like feeling out of control. He didn't like feeling like a desperate, ravenous animal. He was going to be a calm and collected man, like he'd always been. He just had to think of the other animal.

Mojo. Mojo's asymmetrical manhood. Mojo's gargantuan dumps. Dog slobber.

There… Done.

The reflection seemed disappointed.

Lollipop in his mouth, he flipped himself off, and went on searching.

Hawke broke into the mansion, as per usual. She didn't think it all the way through, holding a fluffy purple pillow under her arm. The trap door fell on her head. Fenris had clothes and care products and books at her house, and she had a brain injury.

"Freeze!" Donnic's voice came from above.

"'Tis just me!" Hawke said, holding the pillow up like a shield.

Donnic helped her up. "Don't they knock back in Ferelden?"

Hawke sneered. "Did you answer?"

Donnic chuckled. "Not yet time for exchanging keys?"

"Like I need keys," Hawke fibbed, dusting herself off.

"Think he needs a cheer-up," Donnic said sweetly, pointing with his thumb back upstairs.

"I figured," Hawke said, sighing. "Mad at me, too, I presume?"

"Oh, he's mad at everyone… He has a whole list..." Donnic said tiredly, nodding to himself. "But… you weren't in it."

"Aww."

It was always nice when she wasn't on his list.

"But if you can find out why he's mad at Tabitha Ellerby, that'd be very helpful, thanks."

"Tabitha Ellerby?"

"He couldn't really get to her. She was too far off on his list. It's driving me insane!"

He wasn't mad at Tabitha Ellerby… He was mad at the new prospective smut writer.

"I think Tabitha Ellerby is just code for… me."

"Aww, well," Donnic said amiably, tapping her on the shoulder. "He can't stay mad at you for long."

"Sure," Hawke said, chuckling. "The day Fenris is mad about something only for a short amount of time is the day dragons become vegetarians."

Donnic laughed. "Seems that way, doesn't it?"

They went on chuckling, then they both looked away and gave a big, loud sigh.

"By the way," Donnic said, scratching his ear. "You're the best friend, right?"

"Yes. And by the way, if you hurt her, I will smother you with this pillow," Hawke said, holding it up.

"Merciful. I like it," Donnic said, smiling. He rubbed his neck. "I'm uh… I want to tell her… you know…"

"Aww! You want advice?" Hawke said warmly, rubbing him on the arm. "Don't make a big deal out of it. She hates that. Just tell her one morning in bed or something, very casually, before you leave. Then come back in the evening and take her out. She'll have had so much nervous pent-up energy she'll probably blow you in the hallway."

"Whoa, that's… very specific," Donnic said, chuckling nervously. "Is-is that… is that how it went with you?"

"With us?" Hawke said, her eyebrows rising. She guffawed and slapped her knee. "No! No… I shouted it at him while destroying a statue!" she said, chuckling. "And then the Guard came upon us…"

"What?! Oh!" Donnic said, breaking into all sorts of laughter. "Shit! That's… that's…"

"Crazy?" Hawke said, smiling.

Donnic couldn't stop laughing, but nodded in agreement.

"Yeah… I'm not too proud of that. But then again, he can't even pronounce it, so… you know…" Hawke said, shrugging. "Quirky meets peculiar."

"What're you on about?" Donnic said, chuckling. "He pronounced it just fine an hour ago."

Hawke inhaled deeply, involuntarily. Her chest expanded, contracted, expanded, contracted. The world felt unreal. She may have died. This could have been reality inertia into the Fade and beyond.

Donnic froze, his eyebrows reaching for the moons. "Oh, shit…"

Her world simply went, "?!". Maybe that's what her tombstone should say. A tombstone for the brain. It just couldn't contain. The girl went cray.

There was no reason and rationality! The fuck were those? Astute observations squeezing through the waves of warmth and excitement, like—Uh… you basically knew that already? Plus, he said it to some guy. He probably said it all dead-pan, like it was nothing and moved on. There is literally no reason to be reacting this way right now…

Ha. Nice try, brain.

"You need to leave," Hawke said flatly.

It started to rain, and it sounded so very nice. The familiar knock came on his bedroom door. "Did someone order a slice of pure sexiness?!" Hawke's voice resounded dramatically.

Fenris laughed, coming up. He cleared his throat, straightened his back, and then opened the door. "Serendipity," he said, grinning.

Hawke looked… different. It was in the eyes. Softer, yet somehow… chilling. They were pretty and languid and piercing him. Like he had something she wanted and she knew she was going to get it. He swallowed. She took a step in; he took a step back. She threw a fluffy purple pillow on his bed, snapped her fingers, and the candles came alive. He held the door for her and waved inside. She took his banded wrist, then the other. He stared at her as she walked him slowly into the wall next to the fireplace. Her lips opened and came to his right ear, and she didn't say anything. Her leg came up and brushed his thigh.

Thud!... Thud!... Thud!

"First of all…" Hawke said softly, her lips just slightly touching his ear. Her fingers scratched gently up his arms and landed on his shoulders, sending shivers down his spine. "…you can Sunset me anytime, Fen Fen."

Fenris inhaled, his eyes going sideways towards her as she unbuttoned him. Her hand was firm around his cock, her eyes sweet and evil.

"Second of all—" she said, and pulled him by the collar of his jumper to her lips.

Thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud!

The madness in the mirror was in him. He clawed her thigh up to him, grabbed her ass, pulled her jaw down. She was rubbing and kissing him and stealing his breath away. As if he wasn't struggling enough, she pushed him back to the wall and licked his neck. He gasped, closed his eyes. It was… expectedly good. She pulled his hair sideways, her tongue going up and up on his ear, then her teeth gently brushed back down. He groaned, sank his claw in her arm.

"Maker, I love the sounds you make, Fenris," Hawke said. There was a deeper lilt to her voice. The way she said his name made him lose his mind. He scratched a side of her hair and pulled her head closer to his face. They breathed, stared at each other. Her eyelids were heavy, her eyes filled with hunger. Her lips were ripe and perfect.

"Would you like to hear more?" Fenris said in a deep, deep voice.

"Fuck yeah," Hawke whispered, grinning.

She squeezed him harder towards the top of his cock, biting his ear. He closed his eyes and groaned, biting on his index finger. She planted little bites down his neck. He grunted, filled with intense need, and a lot of resistance. The sting and the desire came in flashes. Pleasure. Pain. Pleasure. Pain. He didn't even see it when his hand went around her neck and pulled her away. He breathed, stared into her eyes, his teeth coming together.

Hawke breathed, grinned. "Do we have a struggle of power here?"

"So it seems," Fenris said, staring her down.

"Good," Hawke said, biting her tongue and gazing down for a moment. "That's my favourite kind." Her eyes came up on him and she rubbed him faster. He couldn't help himself. He bit on his index finger and his nails sank into her neck. She closed her eyes, taking in the sensation. Then her pretty eyes opened. "Do that again when my pussy's back in the game." Her eyebrow came up and she took a step back in. "It's hotter when I don't know if I can win."

All this time, he had been obsessing over his beast and forgot about hers. It took up a lot more space, and it smelled like vanilla and coconuts.

His eyebrows twitched in surprise, and they went on rising when she came in closer and cupped his balls and pulled a little with her maddening, delicate fingers. Finally, he was moaning outright, and couldn't pretend he wasn't. Her face went to his, and she locked onto his eyes, taking in his expressions. They were full of patience and curiosity and poise, and the firelight flattered them. She didn't give one fuck about his choke hold, and his militant hand forgot its purpose. She was just… dazzling. The excitement surged even as he tried to hold it back. He knew he was losing. And how easily! Why had she restrained her power before? Did she think it was going to frighten him? He wasn't frightened. He was flustered. To be desired this much, it was an enormous compliment.

He abandoned her neck and just pulled her to his lips, hands in her silky hair. He wanted to be inside her and he couldn't and his body was cooking all over. He needed her. He needed her all at once and much too completely.

She bit and pulled on his lip, her hand squeezing him tighter. She slid her tongue back in and pushed up on his prostrate and he moaned in her mouth. It was too much, too many sizzling sensations. He was losing so, so hard.

Hawke was a kinda-sorta woman, kinda-sorta possessed. She was thrilled to see Fenris enjoying himself, and she wanted more. There was resistance and eagerness in him firing at once, and it was beautiful. He was fucking beautiful. What did he look like when he was all undone? She wasn't going to see it today, but… she could steal a glimpse.

She started to slow everything down. He broke the kiss and held her face. His eyes were tougher now, but he was trembling with pleasure. He breathed in, shaking his head. "I want to fuck you so hard," he said, strangely soft-spoken.

"But you can't," she said with playful pity, tilting her head.

"I know," he said, forehead in hers and closing his eyes. His eyelids went up languidly. "I know…"

"And how does that make you feel?" she said softly.

There was a thunder outside, and it started raining heavier.

"It…" His eyes became a little sad as they looked at the window, then his eyebrows came together as he looked back at her. "It drives me insane."

There it was. She grinned widely. "I know how you feel," she said bittersweetly. "I feel the same when I can't touch you everywhere I want."

Fenris gave a low, smouldering laugh. He bit his lower lip as his head fell against the wall. "You think you know how I feel?" he said in a deep voice. "It is a torment that I cannot be touched."

Was it? Good to know.

"Is it?" Hawke said with deceptively innocent eyebrows. "We must do something about that, don't we?"

"Find me a new skin?" he said sarcastically.

"I like your skin," she said, smirking. She pulled the bottom of his jumper up a little. "And it liked me the other day, didn't it?" He could deny it, but a dick rarely lied.

"Well… like the rest of me… it is very confused," he said with a hot little smirk.

"Yeah…" she said, grinning. She pulled his jumper up and threw it away. "I saw that," she said, grabbing his cock again and walking into his lips. He didn't even wait a minute. He pulled up hard on her tunic and made her abandon it. He clawed her breasts together, bit on the top of them, bit on her neck, her shoulder. He crushed her into him and breathed loudly in and out, trying to unhook her bra.

"How does that feel?" she said, checking in. For her it was incredible, feeling him naked, feeling him close.

"Extremely confusing," he said, throwing her bra away.

"More confusing than this?" she said, rubbing a little faster and cupping his balls. She walked her breasts into him and kissed him and he inhaled deeply, squeezing them tightly.

"Where even is the finish line?" he said, forehead in hers, staring at her.

"Let's find out," she said, smiling.

Her dominant hand continued its anti-pain efforts and the other took his right hand. He intertwined his fingers in hers and she held his hand tightly. She kissed his neck, and went down, planting little kisses on his shoulder. He merely watched her, breathing unevenly. He looked a little fragile. She kissed slowly down his arm. This was more thrilling than a thousand high dragons. She kissed down his other arm, beaming inside that he wasn't ending it. He was hissing and shaking and holding her hand tightly, but groaning all the same.

His chest was next, and as soon as she looked at it, it started moving more rapidly. Hawke looked up at him and Fenris's eyes were vulnerable. She smiled at him, took his hand, brushed it over her breast and then placed it on her Kirkwall heart and held it there for a while. His eyebrows twitched and his mouth opened slightly. His eyes were big and soft, filled with emotion. He took her hand off his cock and placed it on his chest. He gasped and groaned and he tried to steady his breathing as he looked at her. It broke her a little to see his eyes. It must have been hard for him, but he still tried not to look away. It was a conscious decision on his part. She smiled at him warmly and kissed his hand and placed it in her hair. Her hand went back more strongly on his cock and she put her lips on his chest. He breathed rapidly and moaned a loud moan, his head falling back.

"You okay?"

"Don't stop."

His fingers brushed tightly in her hair, so she planted another gentle kiss, then another, then another. She kissed down his abdomen until she had him in her mouth.

"Fuck, yes," he said in a deep voice. The hand in her hair pushed her down on his cock. She took no time and pulled his trousers way down. She looked up at him with an eager smile and sort of climbed up on his thighs, licking along the bottom of his cock. He looked very happy, despite his trembling.

She sank her nails in his thighs and sucked him like a champion. His moans and grunts remained loud and he grabbed onto her wrists. But they didn't stay there for long. They went to her breasts and pulled her hair and when his cum shot in her mouth he made the loveliest sound.

"Come here, ma adorae," Fenris said, pulling her up by the hands. His eyes were soft, but less sad. He hugged her tightly, and it felt amazing, the skin-on-skin contact. She put her arms around his back and he hissed and breathed out, but he kept hugging her and petting her hair.

"I've got you," Hawke said, kissing his deltoid smiley face.

Fenris inhaled deeply and let it all out. She felt his head nodding. "I've got you."

Fenris lay down with his head on her womb, while Hawke used her fluffy purple pillow and sucked on a lollipop.

"What's with the pillow?" he said. "Are mine not comfy enough?"

She took her lollipop out and pointed at him. "I'm a barbarian only by propaganda."

He scoffed, chuckled. "Noted."

She played with his hair while he stared at her crossed legs.

"What?" she said.

"Take your bloody boots off," he said grumpily.

"Can't reach that far," she said nonchalantly, sucking the lollipop.

Fenris grunted and stretched down to take them off. "You're a pain in my arse, Hawke."

"I know," she said gleefully. She waited for him to look at her and bit her lip.

He came back and looked up at her and smirked irresistably. "Don't get me going again."

"Can you?" she said, raising her eyebrows.

"Of course," he said, intertwining his fingers on his abdomen. "I'm an elf."

Plucky had all sorts of meanings. She was going to be very plucky with this new information.

"Whoa," she said, grinning. "I hope you liked sleep, 'cause you won't be getting much of it in the near future."

"Finally, my insomnia pays off," he said, smirking. He was very smirky. His face was all lit up and relaxed.

"So… why does it look like the storm came inside?" Hawke said, playing with his hair.

Fenris chuckled. "I bought a pack of cigarillos for emergencies and hid it… somewhere," he said, looking around.

"What's the emergency?" she said, chuckling.

He looked at her as if she was stupid.

"Oh… right," she said, smirking. "Donnic mentioned you were mad at Tabitha Ellerby."

"Really?" he said in a deep voice. "What else did that busybody say?"

"Nothing…" she lied. "He was pretty much just set on the mystery of Tabitha Ellerby."

Fenris scoffed. "He will never let that go. He is like a human emotion extractor. It's annoying."

"He does it all day I imagine," Hawke said, thinking. No wonder Donnic got him to pronounce the unpronounceable. That man had a gift. Although maybe that was an exaggeration. After all, Hawke had been smacking that pent-up bottle of emotions for a long time. All Donnic had to do was spin the bloody lid off.

"Well, he will be sorry soon enough," he said sulkily, playing with her fingers. He gave her a little glower. "And so will you."

"Oh, you will be sorrier. I promise," she said, grinning evilly. "I already have a draft. Want to see?"

"No," Fenris said sharply. He frowned even harder. "You really are twisted."

"I'm a visionary," Hawke said, smiling.

"And they're all twisted."

"I'm more than twisted. I'm diabolical."

He scoffed and turned on his side towards her. "And what does it say about you that you'd fantasise about your boyfriend and your friend together?"

"Oh, it's not fantasy. It's pragmatism. And a little comedy," she said, smirking.

Fenris grunted.

Hawke poked his nose. "Boop!"

Not one muscle moved on his face.

Sunrise, Fenris's Mansion

Fenris woke up, confused. The sunlight was making big flower shadows on the opposite wall, and it sounded and smelled like rain. She was sleeping quietly with the blanket in-between their bodies as a fort and her leg was slightly over him. He sighed a sigh of relief that he had a dreamless sleep. The birds were chirping outside and he could hear a magpie and a raven echoing from the windowsill of his bathroom. He had a bird feeder there and a little fountain. So the birds would bathe as he bathed.

He felt like he'd had so much armour, and it got heavier every year of his life. It used to serve a purpose. But it felt as if that purpose twisted in on itself over time and brought him more pain than anything else. That it made him weak. But with Hawke, he could take all that armour off, and he felt light and safe and he could hold his pain in his hands and it didn't feel so terrible. It just felt like an inevitability that was, on the whole, okay. She could hold it there with him. He could sit with it enough to feel her touch. It used to make him sad. It used to make him very sad. What kind of twisted Maker would damage his mortal coil so greatly but bestow upon it the need to be touched? Was one curse on his body not enough? Even so, sadness was behind him now. He felt happy. The damage on his mind and body were not enough to destroy him. He had more strength than he knew, and it surprised him greatly. He felt he should congratulate himself for being brave enough to just receive. Her touch was warm and soft and complete and unforgettable. What a gift... A gift that felt impossible, later merely improbable, and then… it was just there, and he felt like a person. He kept his eyes closed and pushed his forehead into hers. There was a lightness and warmth and an acceptance of being. For a moment, his soul was peaceful.

"Uhm… hello?" Lia's voice came from far away. "Hellooo?"

His eyes opened widely. "Kevesh."

"Smack'em—" Hawke mumbled, waking up.

He came off the bed in a hurry and tried to find his clothes.

"What's going on?" she said, rubbing her eye.

"Hellooo?" Lia said again louder.

"I told her to get here at sunrise and not a minute later!" Fenris said in annoyance, buttoning his trousers. "And even so, I'm the arsehole who's late."

"Told whom to what?" Hawke said in confusion. She frowned at him. "Wait a minute…"

"Lia. I'm training her so she applies for the Guard," Fenris said, putting his jumper on.

"Oh," Hawke said, thinking. "Wait… What?"

"Please don't sing," Fenris said flatly, his hair all messed up. He grabbed his sword and went out the door.

"Aw, man…" Hawke whined to herself. But something was more important. When did he… why did he… what?

"Wow," Lia said with big eyes, taking in the main hall. "This is all yours?"

"No," Fenris said, stopping her in her track. "Be careful." He checked that the pressure plates were surely deactivated before he brought her to Elren with a giant arrow in her face. "Alright. It is safe."

"Oh, I see," Lia said, spotting the harpoons. "In case the tax collectors come."

"Among… others," Fenris said, picking up a couple of wooden swords. He threw one in her direction and she caught it right on the hilt. "Good reflexes."

"I play ball," Lia said, trying to be smug. She balanced the sword against the floor and leaned on it. It slid off and she tripped.

Fenris stayed poker-faced. "I can see."

Hawke came out, eventually. She had a lot of places to be today. They were sparring downstairs and Fenris disarmed her and showed her how he did it. But when Hawke came down the stairs, Lia stopped paying attention. "Oh my Maker, so it is true!"

"Hey, Lia!" Hawke said happily, sliding off the handrail. "What's true?"

"You're together!" Lia said, gushing.

Fenris looked up at Hawke with a raised eyebrow, as if to ask what in the Void was the appropriate response here.

Hawke leaned on the balustrade. "Yeah... he showed me his board game figurines and I just couldn't resist him," she said sarcastically. Fenris tittered to himself. "What about you? You still into that boy, Jacen?"

"Into? I'm with him now!" Lia said proudly, putting the wooden sword over her shoulder. It sank fast enough, however. "But uhm… but-but don't tell my pops."

"I won't," Hawke said, chuckling.

"Alright. This isn't relevant," Fenris cut them.

"You've got to teach me some moves, too!" Lia said, ignoring him.

Fenris looked hurt, but he tried to hide it.

"Everything I know, he knows," Hawke said, winking at him. "He taught me some neat tricks himself."

Fenris smiled a little.

"Really? I thought you knew everything," Lia said, confused.

"I don't," Hawke said, shrugging. "I'm always learning."

"As you should be right now," Fenris said grumpily.

"Yes, serah…" Lia whined, sighing. She looked at Hawke and rolled her eyes quickly.

"I saw that…" Fenris said.

Hawke laughed. "You two are adorable!"

Lia put the wooden sword along her shoulders, behind her neck, and rested her arms over it. She held a peace sign and smiled with all her teeth. Fenris face-palmed. Lia moved the peace sign behind his head as antlers, and took them back when he looked.

"You just cut your own head off," Fenris said, rubbing his forehead.

"I'm new to this, serah. Don't cut my head off!" Lia teased.

Maker, it was like looking into a mirror from when she was a student. Hawke pointed at her approvingly.

"It's already cut off," Fenris said, pointing to the floor. "It's right there, see? About to die and regretting her life choices."

He was so cute.

"I think I'm too young to regret my life choices, serah," Lia said with a coy smile.

Fenris smirked in Hawke's direction. "Young people do dumb things."

Hawke sneered at him. He just had the luxury of not remembering the dumb shit he did.

"Do you only do smart things now that you're old?" Lia asked.

Fenris looked at her, way too quickly. "Old?"

Hawke bit her lip on the inside. "He's about to turn thirty."

"Whoa, that's proper old," Lia said.

"It really isn't," Fenris said tiredly. He looked at Hawke, who was chuckling to herself. "What are you smirking at? She is essentially calling you old, too."

"I'm old and wise, like my father," Hawke said, flipping her hair. She crossed her arms and leaned on the handrail. "He once told me something very important about paying attention to what people are saying."

"And what's that?" Lia asked.

"Oh, I've no idea. I wasn't paying attention," Hawke said, shrugging.

Fenris chuckled. Lia looked at him as if she saw a ghost. "You can laugh?"

"It's been known to happen," Fenris said, smiling at Hawke.

Hawke winked at him, then looked at Lia. "Making a grumpy person laugh or smile is the best feeling in the world."

Fenris shook his head, trying to repress his smile.

"I know! My friend Arana has a resting bitch face! It's funny when we crack it into a smile," Lia said, amused.

"Arana?" Fenris said, frowning. "What kind of deranged lunatic would name their child 'my anger'?!"

Lia giggled loudly. "I'll tell her you said that. That'll definitely crack her up."

Hawke watched Fenris. He was rubbing his forehead, but… it was different. His breathing was uneven. Was he really getting worked up about a stranger's cooky parents or was it something else? "You okay, professor?"

"I'm fine," Fenris said flatly, leaving his forehead in peace.

Hawke might have believed him, if she were Lia's age. But she was too old for that shit. 'I'm fine' was becoming his signature line.

"Alright. Back to work then," Fenris demanded. He gave Hawke a little smile and a nod. "Good luck, ma adorae."

"Aww. What does that mean?" Lia butted in.

"Good luck, Fen Fen," Hawke said, very amused, and made her way to the door.

"She calls you Fen Fen and you're old?" she heard Lia say in amusement to him from afar.

"Thanks for that, Hawke…" she heard him grumble.

She chuckled as she went out the door. She looked up at the sky and breathed in the cool morning breeze. "Yeah, he'd make a cute father," she said to herself.

Afternoon, The Hawke Estate

"What a lovely surprise," Leandra said with a sunny smile. Mojo saluted him happily. "Have you eaten?"

"Yes," Fenris lied, wobbling. He was so incredibly hungry, but he was going to be late. "I am here for Mojo. Did… Hawke already instruct him?" he said, tilting his head at the dog. The dog tilted his head at him.

"They had a long chat, but I didn't pay attention," Leandra said. "What is he supposed to do again?"

"He is to… moderate… between Anders and I," Fenris said, rolling his eyes. "So we remain civil."

Mojo barked readily. Why was he so excited? It was not going to be fun.

"Oooh," Leandra said, chin in hand. "So that's why you're getting the special meat feast tonight, aren't you, boy?" she said sweetly, petting him.

Fenris sighed internally. What was he getting tonight? At a guess, nothing more than a splitting headache. "Off we go then…" he said softly, tiredly.

"Wait," Leandra said, touching his forearm. He twitched and she took her hand away quickly. "Oh, sorry, dear. Senior moment."

Fenris appreciated that. "Do you need anything?"

"Yes, in fact," Leandra said, and stepped in a little, as if it were a secret. "Now I know between my daughter and Mojo and Sandal, any intruder would be sorry—"

"What happened?" Fenris said sternly, frowning.

"Oh, nothing," Leandra said nonchalantly, brushing it off. "Some poor old boy broke in trying to steal things. Mojo did an excellent job running him into the closet, didn't you boy?"

Mojo barked proudly.

"But, you know, with all that's happened…" Leandra whispered, crossing her arms. "I'd rather not take any risks."

"How can I help?"

"Well, I heard you're quite the master of home defences…" Leandra said with a charming smile. "Aren't you?"

He beamed inside at the compliment. But something didn't feel right.

"Does Hawke wish home defences?"

"Don't worry about her. She doesn't know what's good for her. Plus, she's barely home these days," Leandra said, raising an eyebrow at him.

He felt guilty. What was happening? He felt like he was getting… played somehow.

"Nice try, Leandra," Fenris said, chuckling.

Leandra cleared her throat. "Mum," she said with a coy smile.

She was good.

"Nice try, Mama," Fenris said, smirking. He was getting dizzy. It didn't help that it all felt very deja-vu since Lia's friend with the unfortunate name. "If I start tearing down walls without her consent, she will have my head."

"Oh, don't worry about that. You can blame it on me."

"And what will it say about me that I can get manipulated by my…" He shook his head, blinking. "Mother-near-law?"

Leandra chuckled. She looked away, her eyebrows going up innocently. "Well, what will it say about you that you would disappoint your mother-near-law?" She put a hand on her chest. "And after she gave you her culinary legacy, no less?"

"Wow… That's quite the guilt trip," Fenris said, narrowing his eyes. "Are you sure you're not Tevinter?"

Leandra chuckled, shrugging. "We all were once, weren't we?"

"I don't know…" Fenris said, scratching his head.

"And let's not forget…" Leandra said, crossing her arms and leaning in. Fenris took a step back. "What will it say about you that you were so threatened by Sandal you retaliated?"

Andraste, what did he step in? First charms, then guilt-tripping, now blackmail. She was playing him like a fiddle.

Fenris pulled on his collar with an index finger. "Knowing her… she'd probably find it hysterical."

"Perhaps," Leandra said innocently, staring him down. "Then again, when was the last time someone was mean to him and she let it slide?"

Fenris sighed and brushed up his bangs. "Fereldans…"

Mojo spun around and barked happily, as if to say, "You're in the big leagues now, bucko!"

"Welcome to the family!" Leandra said with a little twinkle. She turned her back to them and waved. "Toodles!"

Afternoon, Hightown

"Maker, that was a close one," Fenris said to Mojo on the bench. He buried his face in his hands, then looked at the dog. "Can you tell I'm high?"

Hawke had left him a joint on the pillow with a little note that read, For emergencies. He didn't even think twice about it.

Mojo shook and wrinkled his snout, then stuck his tongue out.

"I always smell nice," Fenris said, offended. He smelled his jumper. "Like… caramel and skunk cabbage," he said, sighing.

Mojo shook and wrinkled his snout again.

"Well, I appreciate honesty," Fenris said grumpily. He looked around. It had rained all morning. It smelled nice and fresh. He stood up. "Off we go, then."

He barely took a step and Mojo started barking loudly at him.

"What?" Fenris said, glowering.

He was going to walk again, but Mojo went for his foot. He got scared for a moment that he was biting him, but he just had his teeth out and he was whimpering.

"What is your problem?" Fenris said, outraged.

Mojo pushed him back, and his snout came near a little snail and he licked the shell.

"Aww, buddy," Fenris said softly, picking up the snail. "You shouldn't be out here." A couple of women passed him and gave him weird looks. He cleared his throat and looked at Mojo. He put a hand near his mouth and whispered, "He shouldn't be out here."

Mojo barked in agreement.

Fenris put the snail on a higher level, near some bushes. "Off we go, then," he said to Mojo.

But when he started walking, it's as if he saw the ground for the first time. It was all wet, and grey, and gleaming and there were other snails in danger. There were some already crushed, and it made him sad. So, in the spirit of compassion, he proceeded to pick up every snail in his way, from big snails to medium snails to the tiniest baby snails. He had to rescue them all.

Afternoon, Café Olé

Fenris saw Anders come up the stairs to the roof terrace. As soon as the mage saw him, he inhaled and his shoulders sank.

"I really didn't think you'd show up," Anders said.

"Idem," Fenris mouthed through his sandwich.

"So… you really don't want that fic to get out there," Anders said, sitting down.

"Do you?" Fenris said, raising an eyebrow.

"Maker, no," Anders said, face-palming. "I ran into Isabela earlier and she gave me a little… preview."

"Well, we have one thing in common."

"That and neither of us want to be here."

"And we both hate this."

"We're doing so well already."

Mojo barked happily under the table.

"Holy fucking—" Anders shouted, holding his chest. "You scared me!"

"Good boy," Fenris said, throwing him a slice of meat.

Mojo growled at Fenris.

"I was just testing you," Fenris said. "Do you want me to take the slice back?"

Mojo essentially mooned him, took his slice and sat down.

"I thought so," Fenris said.

"My, my, you're really going Fereldan," Anders said, crossing his arms happily.

"Problem?" Fenris said, glowering with his mouth full.

"I suppose it's like a compliment," Anders said, scratching his neck and thinking. "The mabari left Tevinter for Ferelden, too."

"So, I'm a dog… again," Fenris said tiredly.

Anders shrugged, looking at Mojo. "A smart dog."

Fenris looked at Mojo. Of course he was happy. He was getting a compliment. He didn't understand the backhanded nuance.

"Ish," Anders said, shrugging and smirking.

"Alright, if you're going to play meta, I'm leaving," Fenris said, crossing his arms.

"Jeez, relax," Anders said, rolling his eyes. "It was just a joke."

'It's just a joke. Lighten up'. They all fell back on that excuse. Why wasn't it funny, then?

"You know what's another joke? An actual funny one?" Fenris said, looking away and brushing his chin. He opened his mouth and looked back at him. "You. Getting fucked. By a dog," he said, glowering and leaning his arm on the back of the chair.

Anders pursed his lips unhappily.

"Woof woof," Fenris said with a threatening flash of the eyebrows.

Anders looked away, sighing. "Touché."

"How was your day, then?"

"It was great. How was yours?"

"Good."

"Good."

They looked in different directions.

Mojo barked happily.

"Great," Fenris said, looking away.

"You're surprisingly civil."

"Idem."

"What'd you do? Read a book on how to make friends?"

"I am very high right now."

"Well, I am very drunk right now…"

Fenris frowned. "Have you eaten?"

"Have I eaten?" Anders said, outraged. "You're not my dad."

"Thank the Maker for that," Fenris said, rolling his eyes. "But you're a lightweight and I don't want your puke on my new armour."

"Oh, now, I wouldn't want to vomit on my new best buddy," Anders said sarcastically.

"We're not 'buddies'," Fenris said, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

"Unwilling comrades?"

"Reluctant acquaintances."

"That's what we've always been."

"Reluctant co-workers. There's a difference."

Anders tapped the table. "Potato, po-tah-toh. I'm gonna get some gelato."

Fenris watched him leave. "Hope you choke on it, 'buddy'," he mumbled to himself.

"What?" Anders shouted back.

"Get the chocolate one, buddy!" Fenris shouted. He rubbed his forehead. He looked at the happy dog wagging his tail. "Kill me."