Disclaimer: As usual … see previous chapters, please!

Note: Sorry about being late in updating again, but several things went very wrong lately – starting with personal health issues in September/October and ending with a death in my closest family in late November. Somehow, writing about fictional deaths/grief was rather impossible while dealing with our own. :-( This is once more only kind of half a chapter, so expect more of this at some later point, okay? Anyway, a belated "Happy New Year" to everyone; on with the tale … and don't forget to pass by the feedback box on your way out, please? DB

Times Present, Times Past

Chapter 15a: Riding The Shockwaves

Sunday, The Wee Hours

Tommy let himself inside his house as quietly as possible; it was the early hours of Sunday morning, and his parents would hopefully be fast asleep by now. It wasn't easy not to make a sound – he was so upset that he wanted nothing more than to slam a few doors, shout out his anger, pain and confusion … but a last remnant of control dredged up from deep within enabled him to keep silent.

Perhaps it was just as well, because there also was that part of him who wanted to hide away as far as possible, to crawl into the deepest hole he could find and pull it in after himself so nobody could ever find him and see him lick his wounds.

After Jason and Kat's shocking revelation/confession at the Juice Bar, he'd waited until everybody's attention was elsewhere, then managed to slip away unnoticed and jumped into his car, just wanting to get away from it all. Right then, he just couldn't deal with the situation – especially not, as he was sure would come, any show of sympathy, or worse pity,from his friends. He also found himself unable to face his family just yet, who'd worried and suffered with him during the time it took to search for Jason and Kat. So, he chose to drive aimlessly through Angel Grove until his gas almost ran out and he'd reached the edge of the desert. All the while, he alternated between desperately trying not to think at all and attempting to put a lid on his wildly churning thoughts. Once it was only him under the cloudless night sky, Tommy left his red jeep and just stood numbly, staring unseeingly at the arid vastness. Eventually, without a conscious decision, his feet began to move out into the desert, step after step, getting faster and faster until he was running as hard as he could.

Get. Away.

At last, though, even his athletic body gave out. Exhaustedly, fighting the urge to just fall down where he'd stopped and lie on the hard-packed soil until daylight came, Tommy trudged back towards his car, forbidding his mind to function beyond the necessity of going home – to find sanctuary from the world at large … and his roiling emotions. He was lucky that there was just enough gas left to make it to his parents' house on nearly the last fumes. The long-haired young man felt weary beyond belief as he finally let himself into his dark room and threw himself onto the bed. Only there did he manage to release some of the tension that had been gripping him for hours in a series of deep, shuddering breaths that weren't quite sobs.

Whether they were born of anger, despair, betrayal or sorrow, he couldn't tell.

Jase and Kat were … lovers. Not only that, they had a baby.

It defied belief.

How could they?

Part of him knew exactly why, and how – after all, he loved both of them. If anyone was aware of the attraction Jason's as well as Kat's characters exuded – and never mind their looks – it was he. Or he would never have called one his brother or let the other heal his broken heart. The rest of him was another matter, though. Tommy had believed that both loved him in return; so how could they have forgotten all about him, gone behind his back and betrayed his trust like that?

How am I supposed to deal with this?

Tommy just didn't know. He'd thought his world had come to an end when Kimberly sent him that damnable letter. The pain of that had been worse even than losing his Ranger Powers – not once, but three times, and for a while he'd believed he'd never recover from that devastating blow. But nobody ever died of a broken heart, and with the resiliency of youth, plain Human nature (and more than a little help from his friends) Tommy had healed – or so he'd believed. He still had no idea what had gone wrong between him and Kimberly, but at least he'd learned to accept that whatever once was between them was now over. Especially as he'd found a new love with Kat.

Deep in the farthest corner of his heart, a voice whispered that it was not over, not completely anyway, or why had he been able to gain so much comfort from Kim during those harrowing four days? But it was a very soft voice, nearly inaudible, and in his current state of mind Tommy was not inclined to notice, or even listen. Instead, all he could focus on were his feelings of betrayal, which grew stronger by the minute.

Why me? Why am I always the one to lose everybody whom I let get close to me? What did I do to deserve this?

Tommy couldn't think of a single thing. Even when he tried to be ruthlessly honest with himself – he knew he wasn't perfect, not by a long shot, and that he had his fair share of flaws – he still didn't think that any of them was so bad that it should turn his closest friends against him.

Maybe it's not me. Maybe it's them!

For a few moments, that gave him some comfort. However, soon his innate honesty reasserted itself. He knew Jason and Kat; better perhaps at times than he knew himself. Under normal circumstances, neither would hurt him or anyone else if they could help it.

Confused, hurt and stressed as he was, it completely eluded Tommy that being stranded in the past for over two years subjective time hardly counted as 'normal circumstances'. Instead, his thoughts fell back into the endless circle of questions and doubt.

Then why did Kim leave me for someone else? Why did Jase and Kat choose to betray me?

He had no answer; and as his tired body gradually succumbed to exhaustion and nudged him into sleep, a final thought swam sluggishly to the front of his mind, to linger there until he woke again.

To learn the truth, he'd have to ask them.

Sunday, Early To Mid-Morning

The mood was very subdued as the current and former Rangers met at the Youth Center on Sunday morning. Nothing much was being said except quiet greetings and general directions on what to put where and how to dispose of the party paraphernalia and foodstuffs they'd brought the day before.

It was a drastic change from how things usually went. There was none of the chatter, light banter and cheerful insults that generally accompanied their meetings, but the friends didn't feel very light-hearted. Unspoken, but present nonetheless was the awareness that everybody was still in shock over last night's revelation. Not surprisingly, Tommy was conspicuous by his absence; but given his disappearance after the aborted party, none of his friends had seriously expected him to show up, even though Billy had thoughtfully left a message on the Olivers' answering machine.

When the Juice Bar looked ship-shape again, they all filed out and gathered in the parking lot. TJ locked the door, pocketed the keys to the establishment and cleared his throat.

"If it's okay with you guys, I'll go by Lt. Stone's house and drop these off so he'll have them for opening time this afternoon."

"Thanks, TJ," Adam answered for the group. "We owe you one. Again."

"No, you don't," the Red Turbo Ranger grinned fleetingly. "But if you ever feel the urgent need to do any of us a favor, don't let anything stop you."

"I'll remember that," Adam smiled back. "See you, guys."

"Ditto. Bye!"

The two groups said their mutual good-byes, then the ex-Rangers watched as their successors left for the Little Angels Children's Home, to pick up their last team member. Justin wasn't allowed to go out on Sunday mornings unless with family, so they went to the shelter instead to give him an account on what had happened.

"What do you think they're gonna do now?" Cassie wanted to know as they walked down the sunny street.

Carlos shrugged. "Go somewhere private and talk, I'd say," he ventured. "It's what we would do, right?"

"Yeah," Ashley agreed with a small sigh. "What they have to deal with now just isn't something for outsiders to hear."

"We're not really outsiders, though …"

"Yes, we are," TJ contradicted Carlos firmly. "We may have become friends with them, we were – or are – all Rangers, we have helped to recover Jason and Kat, but let's face it, we do not belong in that gang. Not in this."

Cassie shot her team leader a dark look. "I hate to say it, but when you're right, you're right."

"I know," TJ grinned somewhat smugly, then jumped to evade her not-quite-playful smack. "Ow!"

"Behave, or else," the Pink Ranger threatened, only to be interrupted by her yellow-clad friend.

"Ah, stop it already, guys. There's a problem we have to deal with in about ten minutes!"

"What's that, Ash?" Carlos wondered, only to receive an exasperated glare from the former cheerleader.

"Duh. What, and how, do we tell Justin about what happened last night? You know we promised him all the gory details."

"Yeah, we just didn't know when we promised just how gory they were gonna be," Cassie grimaced. "When Jason unwrapped those bone fragments and it turned out they were from their baby … ugh!"

"Ouch," Carlos winced, seeing the problem immediately. Justin was certainly mature for his age, but there were things that might not be altogether suitable for even a twelve-year-old genius to know, Ranger or no Ranger. "Can I pass?"

"In your dreams, bro," TJ declared. "All for one, and one for all."

"I was afraid you'd say that," the Black Ranger muttered, all of them stopping as the shelter came into view. He drew a deep breath. "Okay, let's get it over with."

"Right …"

Four pairs of shoulders squared, and determinedly the four teens went to seek out the young Blue Ranger.

"Where to now?" Aisha wondered as the others turned a corner and disappeared from view. "We need someplace private …"

Nobody asked for what purpose; all eight felt the urge to talk to each other about last night's revelations, to share the welter of emotions they'd been too shocked to discuss the previous evening. They looked at each other indecisively.

"Anybody's folks not home today by any chance?" Rocky asked, and sighed when he only received negative headshakes in return. "Damn."

"You can say that again, bro," Zack muttered.

"Damn!" Rocky obliged, with slightly more emphasis. "And shit, hell and all the other stuff, too."

Trini shook her head disapprovingly, but refrained from commenting. If this whole sorry situation wasn't worth a few swear words, nothing was.

"Amen, Rocky," Tanya sighed. "But that still doesn't give us someplace private."

Kim echoed her sigh. She could only think of one spot – really the perfect choice and where they'd all have gravitated towards naturally before anyway – but due to recent events, the friends had experienced an understandable reluctance to go there. And yet, there was no other place as suitable, so she drew a deep breath and made the suggestion.

"Guys … I know it's going to be kinda uncomfortable, what with what's happened there and all, but … how about the park?"

Adam grimaced. "Do we have to?"

"I haven't been able to go there since that first time hole appeared," Tanya whispered, her normally lively features drawn into a frown.

"Me neither," Aisha agreed. "But Kim's right, where else could we go?"

Trini swallowed. "It is the logical place," she said quietly. "We always used to go there to discuss 'business'." Both Zack and Rocky opened their mouths, but she stalled them with a raised hand before they could object. "Yes, I know. I'm … not scared, really, but definitely spooked myself. However, we all have had unpleasant encounters in the park before, and it never stopped us from returning anyway. Why shouldn't we do so now?"

It was a perfectly reasonable observation, and she got thoughtful nods from most of the others. Zack, though, couldn't quite let it stand.

"Yeah, but you're forgetting one thing," he muttered.

"Oh? What's that?"

"We were Rangers then. We always had our Powers, or ultimately Alpha and Zordon to fall back on. Jason and Kat didn't – and neither do we, not anymore. What if something weird happens again?"

Nobody had an answer to his question – because that was precisely what each of them had been thinking, too. Then, Kimberly rallied again.

"Granted, but are we going to let that stop us from leading our lives the way we want to? If we start asking 'what if' at every turn, the bad guys will have won after all."

"There were no bad guys who created that time hole," Rocky protested. "That happened all by itself! Zack's right – what if it happens again? The park isn't safe!"

"Actually, most of the time it is," Billy interjected quietly. He'd been strangely subdued until now, contributing even less to the conversation than normally. "Statistically, the park is as safe as any enclosed public place, even considering all the activity taking place there since Rita first made an appearance on Earth. For civilians in any case," he amended after a moment's thought. Then he lapsed back into silence

Reassured by Billy's statement as much as by looking at the situation as objectively as he could, Adam found some measure of calm. "Billy's right. Besides, we don't know – can't know either way, can we? Not to sound like a cliché, but life isn't safe, Rocky. Instead of running into another strange phenomenon, we might as well get hit by a truck or something in the next ten minutes. Does that mean we're going to stand here in the parking lot forever, or until the police shut down all traffic?" As if on cue, a large van rumbled past the hedge edging the Youth Center's boundary.

"Gee, thanks, Adam – just the mental image I didn't need right now," Aisha grumbled, but had to fight a reluctant smile. She, too, was beginning to feel more certain. As a result, she stepped up to Kimberly and slipped her arm into the gymnast's. "But you do have a point – and I for one don't plan on taking root here."

Trini grinned slightly at her successor's spunk. "Me, neither. Besides, the park's much better for rooting." Her grin widened as Rocky and Zack groaned and rolled their eyes at her weak attempt at humor. She joined the other two girls, Tanya on her heels. As one, they cast a challenging glance at the boys. "Well? Are we going to the park, or not?"

The four young men exchanged rather dubious looks, then shrugged simultaneously. "Might as well," Rocky sighed. "But if we do run into weird stuff, I'll hold you all personally responsible!"

"You can sue us afterwards," Tanya deadpanned. The notion was so ridiculous that there was some laughter at long last, and they left for their favorite haunt in a much lighter mood.

The eight friends reached Angel Grove Park soon after, but despite their earlier bravado avoided the picnic area where they'd gathered only a few days before. Instead, they walked down the slope to the beach, thankfully still empty of swimmers and sun worshippers, and claimed a shady spot underneath the life guard stand. Rocky knew that it wouldn't be manned until after lunch, so they could expect a couple of quiet, undisturbed hours at least. The sand was dry and warm as they settled in a loose circle. For a few moments, they all stayed silent, absorbing the peaceful atmosphere before they tackled weightier matters.

At last, it was Rocky who spoke up in a hushed voice, expressing what was clearly on everybody's mind.

"Man, I still can't believe what happened last night," he said. "I hate stating the obvious, but … was everybody as floored as I was?"

"I should think so," Aisha said equally quietly. "I know I still am."

"About what, though?"

"What do you mean?" The former Yellow Ranger frowned uncomprehendingly at her childhood friend who'd uttered the soft question.

Adam quirked his lips in a wry grin. "Were you more shocked by the fact that Jason and Kat got together in the past, or that they had a baby?"

"Gee, you come right to the point, don't you?" Rocky grimaced at the bald statement.

"What's the use of pussyfooting around the issue? It's what happened," Zack supported his successor. "Using euphemisms doesn't change anything."

"Given their circumstances, if you think about it, the latter really is a logical consequence of the former," Trini mused.

Aisha had started to reply to Adam's question, then stopped. Thinking it over a few seconds, she finally shrugged helplessly. "I … I don't really know," she admitted. "Possibly that they became a couple, though. I mean, Kat was so obviously head over heels for Tommy, right from the get-go … and Jason's Tommy's best friend … it's hard to understand why they would go behind his back like that."

"Yeah, that's pretty uncharacteristic for both," Zack agreed. "I mean, I don't know Kat all that well yet, but she doesn't seem like a gal who would cheat on her boyfriend."

"She's not," Tanya concurred. She hesitated for an instant, leery of betraying a confidence, but then forged ahead anyway. If they ever hoped to understand their friends' motivation, they needed all the facts before anyone jumped to false conclusions. "I do know, though, that she's always found Jason very attractive. If she hadn't met Tommy first …" She stopped herself before she betrayed Kat's confidence. "Anyway, she did, and given that she truly was – no, is – in love with him, the fact that she would start something with Jason at all is surprising, to say the least."

"Or he with her," Aisha added.

"Maybe Jason … well, seduced her, sorta," Rocky ventured, blushing. The suggestion conjured up some rather disturbing images – which he neither could nor wanted to associate with his friends. He squirmed uncomfortably.

"Jason wouldn't do that," Zack protested immediately, coming to his friend's defense. "He's just not the type to betray a friend!"

"Apparently he did, though," Tanya murmured.

"Well … he's always had a thing for blondes," Zack admitted somewhat sheepishly. "And Kat seems exactly like the kind of girl he'd go for. You know, the cool, pretty kind? Like some of the actresses in the old Hitchcock movies?"

"Emily pretty much fit the bill," Adam remembered. "She wasn't quite as classy as Kat, maybe, but also blonde, blue-eyed, beautiful … just a bit more spunky, I guess."

"Maybe that relationship never went very far because she was the same type," Trini suggested, pursing her lips in thought. "If Jason maybe was also attracted to Kat, but didn't do anything about it because she was already involved with Tommy – his best friend …"

"It would certainly explain why he took up with Emily so quickly," Billy said softly. "It didseem rather out of character for him."

"Yeah, he usually liked to take his time with the ladies," Zack agreed.

"You mean, he fell for Emily because superficially she looked similar to Kat, but broke it off with her once he realized she wasn't anything like her in character?" Tanya wondered.

"Something like that," Trini nodded at her fellow ex-Yellow Ranger. "He wouldn't be the first guy to do so."

"And now that he had the real thing all to himself, far away from Tommy …" Adam shook his head. "I dunno, guys. Sure, it kinda sounds plausible, and maybe that's part of it, but I still can't believe that's the only reason those two got together."

"I think one of them probably needed comfort at some point, and then things kinda got out of hand," Aisha said. "Just think about it; how many couples at school started because a person was looking for a shoulder to cry on for whatever reason and found one just too handy? I can name at least four off the top of my head!"

"A lot," Rocky said drily. "Only, usually people realize pretty fast that it's a mistake to confuse sympathy with … well, something deeper, and it almost never goes beyond first, or maybe second, base. Jason and Kat went way beyond a home run, even!"

"Yeah … that ball went right out of the ballpark," Zack agreed. He looked puzzled. "Even if that's what happened, I still can't believe either one of them could be so … so selfish!"

"I don't think it's really 'selfish' to take what comfort you can from a friend in such an extreme situation," Tanya protested, wanting to defend their friends. She tried to put as much conviction into her voice as she could, but was miserably aware that she wasn't quite pulling it off.

"Isn't it? Even when it means betraying your best friend's trust and cheating on your boyfriend?" Rocky asked heatedly. "I call that plain mean!"

"Now wait a minute," Adam interjected. "Jason and Kat aren't mean people!"

"Well … no, not usually, but …!"

Within seconds, the group of friends was arguing passionately back and forth, both sides torn between wanting to find excuses for their friends and defending the absent Tommy's side.

Sunday, Around Noon

With a sigh, Helen Scott looked around her kitchen. She'd just returned from church, had changed into comfortable jeans and was trying to decide what to do next. She knew she really ought to start lunch, but found that her own appetite was almost non-existent. The blonde imagined that it her husband and son would feel the same once they returned from their errand, but still …

She was yanked from her musings when she heard a car pull into the driveway. That can't be John and Jason yet. Surely they're not done yet. But who …? She found her answer when the doorbell rang and Doris Hillard stood on the other side.

"May I come in?" the Australian woman asked hesitantly.

"Of course! Come, have some iced tea," Helen invited the other. She could see from the disturbed expresion in the grey eyes that Doris must feel at least as upset as she was deep down herself. Leading the way back into the kitchen, she motioned her new friend to sit at the table, then quickly poured two glasses of the golden liquid. "What brings you here?"

Doris sighed. "I … I just couldn't stay at the house by myself any longer," she confessed. "I'm so flabbergasted still … and I really need to talk to someone."

"Well, I'm here," Helen replied, taking the chair opposite her guest. "But where's Robert?"

"He's taken Kat to the hospital, to have her checked over. Our doctor gave her a once-over right after they got back, but I'm afraid she may have bigger health problems than just the nutrient deficiencies he diagnosed."

"Because of the birth," Helen realized at once. "Hmm, yes. Especially since Jason mentioned she was sick afterwards."

"Exactly."

"God, I hope not," Helen wished. "Did Kat mention feeling unwell?"

"No, she claims she's been fine, but …" Doris shrugged.

Understandingly, Helen nodded. "But you're her mother, and it's your job to worry." She patted Doris' arm. "I see your point. If it were Jason, I'd have him at the hospital, too."

"Where is Jason, anyway? Holed up in his room, like Katherine?"

"No, he and John stayed behind at church to talk to Pastor Shultz." Helen hesitated for a second, then added quietly, "They want to ask him if he'll agree to conduct the funeral. If that's okay with you, that is? We could use your minister if you prefer."

Doris shook her head. "No, it's okay. I wouldn't really be comfortable asking him, anyway."

"Whyever not?"

"Have you ever met Reverend Simmons?"

Helen thought for a moment. "I don't think so, but … oh, wait. You're Episcopalian, right?"

"C of E, yes. He's the only minister of our denomination in Stone County, and while I'm sure he has many excellent qualities, I've never quite warmed up to him."

"If he's the one I'm thinking of now, I don't blame you," Helen said dryly. "We're Lutheran, and I've always found that Michael Shultz, old as he may be, is one of the most understanding and compassionate people I've ever met. He won't judge the kids, and do a wonderful job."

Doris sniffled and fished for a handkerchief. Drying her moist eyes, she mumbled "If he does, it'll be the only wonderful thing about all this."

"Yes, I had quite a different scenario in mind as well whenever I fantasized about my first grandchild," Helen agreed, feeling rather weepy herself. Again. To her surprise, her guest stared at her with suddenly wide eyes.

"Oh my God, yes! I haven't even considered that yet," Doris gasped.

"Huh?"

"All I could think of was that Kat had a miscarriage with no medical help whatsoever; it never even crossed my mind until you mentioned it just now now that if the baby had lived it'd be my – my granddaughter!"

Jason's mother laughed mirthlessly. "It rather boggles the mind, doesn't it?"

"And then some!"

The two women were silent for a couple of minutes, thinking over what might have been.

"In a way, it's almost more shocking than when Jason dropped his bombshell last night," Helen mused at last.

"If I hadn't been so concerned about Kat at that time, I'm sure I'd have had hysterics," Doris agreed. "God, it hardly bears thinking about. They're barely out of childhood themselves, and to already have lost a child … and under such traumatic circumstances, too. I can't even imagine what they must've gone through!"

"It's about the most heartbreaking experience you can think of," Helen whispered, her expression sad. "I lost two myself, one before and one after Jason was born. It was just too much, so we stopped trying. I couldn't bear another. Literally."

Compassionately, Doris squeezed her hand. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well … it was years ago, and I'm over it, really, but … but sometimes it still hurts." Helen forced a smile. "Is Kat your only child?"

"Yes," Doris replied, now getting thoughtful herself. "She was … well, kind of an accident," she confessed. "Robert and I hadn't planned on having children yet at the time. But, as these things go, we slipped up." Her own smile turned a bit wobbly. "When I found out I was pregnant … it couldn't have come at a worse time for us. Don't get me wrong, once we got over the shock, I was happy, very much so, but … the first couple of years weren't easy because Robert's firm sent him around so much. He was practically all over the continent, for weeks on end sometimes. Then, he finally got more settled and we moved to Surrey Hills. It was a great place, we felt wonderful there and we thought now was the time to have another child."

"What happened? Obviously you didn't," Helen asked curiously.

The Australian sighed. "Robert's career happened. He was promoted unexpectedly, and I needed to be there for him as hostess and escort, that sort of thing, on any number of social functions. At the same time, Katherine started ballet classes, her diving really took off … half of what little free time I had was spent chauffeuring her around. So, we decided the time wasn't quite right to have another baby. Then …"

"… other things kept getting in the way, right?"

Sheepishly, Doris nodded. "We always said we wanted to wait for the right time, but …"

"There never is a 'right' time, I think," Helen shrugged fatalistically. "Especially not with babies. They come – or don't – as they please. I just wish our kids didn't have to have found that out the hard way."

"Amen," Doris sighed. Then, she swallowed hard. "I just wish it were all over."

"All … what?"

"The … the funeral, the repercussions … everything, really. For example … Tommy has been calling the house every day since they came back from the past, and now, when Katherine could really need his support and understanding, he doesn't."

The other woman winced. "He called Jason every night, too, and last night he just vanished, I think, when the truth came out like it did. But … can you really blame him? His girlfriend had a relationship with his best friend – one that even resulted in a baby. The two people outside his family he probably trusted more than anybody else. I'm sure he was even more shocked than all the rest of us."

"Well, yes, but …"

Helen gripped Doris' hand, which was clenched around her glass, hard enough to almost break it. "I know, I know, deep down I find myself wishing that he could put his feelings aside for the moment and just be there for the kids, but let's not forget – for all their maturity and the obvious feelings the gang has for each other, they're all only nineteen. They may be legally adults, but I don't think we can expect them to see past their immediate pain. Not now, anyway."

Wearily, the blonde Australian pushed her iced tea a few inches away from her. "That's true, but … my mind tells me you're right, but in my heart I can only see Katherine's pain."

Helen Scott laughed briefly, again without humor. "Trust me, I understand. Do I ever!" Before her mind's eye, the image of Jason's dark eyes, almost black with hurt and grief, appeared. Shoving it down determinedly, she was glad for the distraction of a car pulling into the driveway. "We'll deal with it, somehow," she murmured, getting up from the table. "I think that may be John and Jason."

Doris seemed equally relieved. "Or Robert and Katherine; I left a message for them that I'd probably be here."

Just then, a second car pulled up.

"Seems it's both. Let's see what they found out."

"Right." As mothers did everywhere, the two women pushed their own concerns aside and went to tend their families.

To Be Continued …