Growing Together

Part 8

Summary: There comes a time when you have to step outside.

A/N: I hope these conversations are IC and are fitting for the situation. Thanks to Ace for her help.

xxxxx

The diner was packed with people noisily inhaling their breakfasts. Sara tensed up even more at the thought of discussing things in a crowd like this where everybody could listen.

Nick must have seen her reluctance and offered that they could order and take the food somewhere else.

They found a quiet spot in a nearby park.

By an unspoken agreement, neither had brought up going to one of their apartments. She didn't know Nick's reasoning, but she would have felt caged and cornered. She didn't want to risk lashing out at him again. They were here to resolve things.

Sara chewed on her food listlessly, worrying about her pending conversation with Nick and the state of her relationship with Grissom

She had not told him that she was leaving work with Nick. In fact, she had made sure that they were out of the building before Grissom would even come looking for her.

Now, with a bit of physical and emotional distance, she wondered if that was the right decision. Had she overreacted?

Sara forced herself to eat a few more bites, knowing that her energy supply would thank her later even if it was rebelling now, but then she called it quits and waited for Nick to finish. First she would sort this out, and then it was time to face Grissom.

Before she could worry further about Grissom, Nick pushed his food away, also anxious to get this over with it.

He sighed and decided to make the first step. "I'm sorry. I know that's not worth much right now, but I really mean it."

He expected her to cut him off, but she remained silent. She merely waited for him to continue.

"It was a misplaced effort. I shouldn't have pushed you and I shouldn't have given you the impression that I think you are…unstable."

At this, she gave him a hard stare, and he could see the anger rising in her eyes. To prevent another outburst, he hurried on with his apology. "I had it all wrong. I wanted you to be happy and didn't see that you already are. You can make your own decisions, and the last time you did the hard part. I don't know why I felt the need to intrude although I know perfectly well that it's your life."

He fell silent, having nothing more to say but 'I'm sorry,' and he didn't think she would want to hear that again.

Sara remained quiet, letting his words flow through her head. She believed that they were sincere; Nick was truly sorry.

The thing she was afraid of was that, in the heat of the moment, it would happen again. One thoughtless moment without some necessary information, something similar might occur with the same damaging effects. How much should she divulge to him?

Nick was still watching her, waiting for her to make a decision. Gathering her courage, she finally made one.

"Nick, to make this clear, whatever I tell you, it remains between us. If you so much as breathe a word to somebody else, you'll wish you'd never even met a CSI."

Nick swallowed hard, a bit scared of her. Sara was so passionate about many things and she would find a way to get back at him. He wouldn't put it past her to take a decomp just to drag him with her.

"Crystal," he was whispering, treading carefully.

"I am in a relationship with someone. I kind of already told you that." Her voice had softened, but now something indefinable swung with it.

"It's very recent and still stumbling along on shaky legs. But it's my relationship and no one is allowed in right now. When the time comes, I will introduce you to him, but I decide when. Until then, that is all I'm going to tell you."

She had gained strength towards the end, and she had intimidated Nick enough that he didn't ask for more information. He remained quiet, knowing she wasn't finished.

"Now, about the other thing."

She fidgeted in her seat, feeling more uncomfortable with this revelation than with the first. "I can't tell you much about it, but…I have had a tough time growing up. There weren't a lot of happy times. I have difficulties keeping a positive outlook on the world. That's weird considering the profession I've chosen, but doing something good helps. I can't explain it better, but you have to trust me that I have it under control. There are bad days for everyone; mine are just a bit worse."

She paused briefly, but continued, "I really sound crazy, but I swear I'm not."

Her hand gripped his over the table, whether to reassure him or her, she wasn't sure. "Everything's okay."

Despite her own vow to be honest with him, the last part was a lie. A lie that she hadn't wanted to admit to herself.

xxxxx

After the second glass, Grissom's tongue was getting loose, but not loose enough to open his heart. Brass had been able to gather some information, though, after showing enormous patience.

Grissom's first bad mood after days of peace had nothing to do with work. It was about his personal life.

"There is some…thing that's confusing me," he had said.

The short pause told Brass that he had meant to say 'someone,' and 'someone confusing' usually only meant one person. Grissom was in trouble with Sara again.

That called for more drinks.

They had agreed not to do this in Jim's office. If it was to become more than one drink, the department didn't need to see this. Grissom had refused to go to his house that's why they were now sitting in Brass' living room, gulping down another drink. At least that was what Gil was doing while he was only sipping on his drink. Someone needed to keep a clear head.

When Grissom looked a little bit spaced out, Brass knew it was time to find out a bit more about what was bothering his friend. Soon there would be no coherent sentences anymore.

The thing that usually worked best was directness. "What did she do this time? Or…what did you not do?"

Grissom's head snapped back and he stared at Brass. This was the look of a man who was caught in the act.

"Which one is it?" Brass made it his point not to look at him, rather watching the liquid swirl around his glass. If he looked his friend in the eyes, he would clam up. Grissom was good at interrogating people, but you could not turn the table around

"If I knew." He really didn't, but Grissom did know that had just broken the agreement he and Sara had reached. Quickly, he gulped down the rest of his drink and refilled his glass.

Brass thought he'd had enough, but he knew that a word from him wouldn't stop the other man. It appeared that despite the amount of alcohol Grissom had already consumed, he knew what he was doing. He was trying to get smashed.

Another few sips and he started talking again. "Everything seemed fine and then suddenly she gives me the cold shoulder."

Brass had a few nice retorts that came to his mind, but for once, he decided to keep them to himself. Grissom would stop talking, and he needed more information to draw a complete picture.

"She hasn't spoken to me since. I don't know what went wrong. What did I do?"

Now, Brass had to bite his tongue not to let on what he was thinking. On some level, he felt that Grissom deserved what he got, but he also didn't want to see someone he called his friend in this kind of emotional pain.

"She shut me out and ran away." The tone had changed and Grissom had slipped into self-pity.

Brass had to do something. Keeping quiet was not going to do it anymore. Grissom had no right to pity himself. He had dug his own hole. "Now you know how she felt."

As if he had been slapped, Grissom recoiled. The words failed him, leaving him open for another blow, but Brass left it at that.

Neither man had used a name, but it had been clear who they were talking about. By knowing his secret, Brass had already crossed a line.

Now that Brass had defended Sara, Grissom didn't know what to say anymore. It hurt to hear the truth. Although Brass' words were neutral on the surface, he felt the sting behind them, telling him he was a bastard because of the way he had treated Sara in the past. It saddened him that he had sunken so low in his denial, and he vowed that he would make it up to her.

Maybe that was what was wrong with her. His mind couldn't come up with another solution, but this one sounded just as wrong as all the others. Why would it have emerged just now, now that she was determined to make progress in her life?

The ache in his heart was now accompanied by a headache. To drown everything out, he swallowed the rest of his drink and stared out the window.

Noticing his absence, Brass decided that now was a good time to insert some unsolicited advice. Not that he had any right to, but he couldn't leave the other man on his own. "If it's any consolation, I don't think that's the reason why she turned the cold shoulder on you."

That made Grissom look up, although he still seemed to be far away.

"Knowing you two, it was something unintentional, which would have been nothing with anyone else."

Grissom retreated a bit further, mulling over Brass' words. However, he still couldn't come up with a possible reason, even as he relived everything that had happened from going to bed until he noticed that something was bothering Sara.

"How am I supposed to find out then?" He sounded so terribly helpless that Brass was hard pressed not to feel sorry for him.

Having problems in a relationship was nothing unusual, even Gil Grissom wasn't spared that. Or maybe it was worse because he was who he was. "Talk to her."

When Grissom didn't react, Brass knew it was time and walked over to the phone. He dialed a number, and when he heard the click and the name as a greeting, he spoke. "I think I have something you would like to pick up."

TBC