Growing Together
Part 10
Summary: Grissom has to deal with the aftereffects of his 'conversation' with Brass.
A/N: I hope you like the resolution of this, because this is just a warm up for something else.
xxxxx
There was water running in the bathroom when Sara woke up.
The bed next to her was still warm but Grissom was not there, again. This time she knew it had nothing to do with her. He had most likely been feeling the aftereffects of the alcohol. As long as he was there and willing to talk, she was okay with him taking the time to clean himself and find out what had happened.
She wanted coffee but was too lazy to get up. She pulled the covers up to her chin, deciding to rest some more. The coffee could wait. Besides, if they were to talk, she would need her strength.
It took another twenty minutes for Grissom to return to the bedroom. She needed him to make the first move. He would have to act.
They remained in their positions for a while, with Grissom staring down at her. She wanted to turn around to see his eyes, but she couldn't. This was all his responsibility.
And he knew it too, because not one minute later, she felt the bed dip behind her as Grissom climbed in beside her again.
"Sara?" The worries and insecurity were hidden by the roughness of his voice after all the alcohol, but she knew they were there.
He was sorry, although she guessed that he remembered only half of what she had said. "I'm sorry for drinking so much."
Slowly, she turned around, looking at him. He looked tired and unwell, which was to be expected, and she refused to feel sorry for him. It had been his decision to drown his sorrows. She just nodded at him, waiting for him to continue. Hopefully he had been lucid enough to know what she expected from him now. He squinted, looking down for a moment.
"Take something for the headache if you haven't already." Those were the first words she had spoken, and they were clearly not what he had expected.
In surprise, he shook his head, indicating that he hadn't taken anything. "Go, I'll be waiting," she told him, as if she were talking to a child.
When he returned to the bedroom, he sat down next to her with his back on the headboard. To give him a break, Sara decided it was time to end his state of confusion. "What do you remember about this morning?"
Grissom looked straight ahead and Sara began to wonder why he wasn't looking at her. "I had too much to drink. I'm sorry."
Sara recognized his avoidance tactic and felt her temper flaring although she tried hard to control it. She sat up straighter and took his hands into hers to keep them from worrying the covers.
This new position made her face him. As soon as he lifted his gaze, she would be able to see his face and his eyes. "You know very well that I'm not talking about the amount of alcohol you have consumed."
Normally this would be the point where either of them backed off, but they had promised each other to change some things.
Grissom seemed to remember their promise as well because he sank a bit into himself, a clear sign that he would no longer put up resistance. "You told me you thought I didn't want to be close to you anymore."
Afraid her voice would give out, she could only nod. She hoped that her silence would not make him want to retreat before they had cleared the air between them.
"I didn't even think about that. I just couldn't sleep, but I guess it caught up with me. It had nothing to do with not wanting to be with you."
Misunderstanding number one solved.
If they had gotten all the facts straight beforehand, this would have been nothing. This was a relatively harmless example of blowing things out of proportion. She had reacted badly, and in turn, Grissom had done something irrational. The consolation was that this was a mostly normal relationship bump in the road.
"I distanced myself because you seemed distanced." He paused briefly, obviously trying to find the right words. "We still have a long way to go to unlearn these automatic responses."
For now, Sara was satisfied with his acceptance of the situation. She only had one more thing to say. "I'm sorry that I reacted so badly without making sure that there was a reason. We have to learn these things together."
Grissom tugged on her hands, pulling her closer to him. Soon she was in his arms, glad that they had been able to deal with this.
xxxxx
Work was much more relaxed that night. The air between Nick and Sara was cleared and Grissom and Sara were able to go back to their normal distanced behavior. Everything was back to normal… almost.
Sara was glad not to be working with Brass but he had found her during one of his breaks. That morning, her whole attention had been focused on Grissom, not at how mad she was at Brass for letting him drink that much.
Knowing Brass, she thought he had probably not only allowed him to drink, he had also encouraged him. She had wanted to talk to him – thank him for taking care of him and set him straight for even letting it go that far – but she had needed a break. Taking care of Grissom took a lot of strength out of her.
But Brass had found her, and now she had to deal with him whether she liked it or not. He had asked how it went after they had left and also apologized to her.
"Just promise me to never do that again. One drink or two is fine, but this was way over the top. Don't encourage him." She had nothing more to say, not willing to let that ruin her day.
Brass nodded, apologized again, and went off to apologize to Grissom too.
Glad to have repaired all of her relationships for now, the work didn't seem so gruesome tonight.
xxxxx
They had left work separately. Sara had an appointment. Grissom wanted to use the time apart to clear his head. The after-effects of the day before were still lingering and he needed to think clearly.
Yesterday had made it quite obvious that he had to face his future…with Sara. He knew what he wanted, now he needed to figure out how to get there.
On the way home, he stopped for food. As he was packing stuff into his cart, he realized that he was buying enough for two. He was getting used to Sara's presence, which was one of the things he had to think about.
Where were they going with this?
The memory was hazy, but Sara had told him that she wanted to wake up next to him, of that he was sure. But, considering how sick he had been feeling he'd had no choice but to disappoint her again. The taste in his mouth had disgusted him and he had felt like they wouldn't even need a K9 unit if he got lost. Not to mention the headache he had had. It had been so bad he couldn't stay in bed. He needed a shower, and Sara had woken up alone.
Now, with some time to think, Grissom wondered how serious she had been. Could they already move further?
He decided to keep this thought in mind, but for now, nutrition and rest were more important.
After a quick meal, he went back to bed, taking the side Sara had slept on. It still smelled like her and made it so much easier to fall asleep.
xxxxx
Six hours later, it was his phone that woke him.
By the time he had found the cordless unit, the answering machine had already picked up. Sara's voice rang through the room. "Uhm, I guess you're still sleeping, but I wanted to tell you that everything's fine. My appointment went better than expected and…"
At that moment Grissom had finally found the phone and picked up. "Sara?"
"Oh, hey." Obviously she hadn't counted on him actually answering. "Did I wake you?"
Her confidence seemed to be a bit low, and Grissom wondered if that was the result of her appointment.
"Yes, but my alarm would have gone off in ten minutes anyway, so don't worry." There was no point in lying; Sara would know.
"Sorry, that wasn't my intention. I just wanted to let you know that it went okay. Nothing big, just a warm up." She paused briefly and then she suddenly switched topics. "I was wondering if we could go to dinner before shift."
Grissom was a bit confused. The investigator in him wanted to know more about her visit, but on the other hand, he was too worried about her to push her into talking. He let it go, satisfied with the knowledge that the first step was done.
"Are you still there?"
He had wandered off with his thoughts and hadn't even noticed. "Sorry. Yes, dinner would be nice. When and where?"
They finally agreed on a small restaurant, and although Grissom was happy to spend time with her, he wondered how he should hide that he had some important things on his mind. He needed to sort this out for himself before he talked to her about it.
TBC