Part 21
Jr: What
got her panties in a bunch?
Nephilim: --turns to Jr-- How
can you be so mean and perverted?
Jr: --flops down on the
floor-- Well, it's rather personal.
Nephilim: Tell us, or
chaos shall rip it from your mind.
chaos: --shivers-- Don't
make me go there!
Jr: --sighs-- Well...you
know, I am in love with MOMO, and I love every inch of that
adolescent body of hers, but...
Jr: --takes out one of his
guns and self-consciously starts playing with it-- I
mean...chaos...you've seen her transform before, right?
chaos:
--nods-- Yes, of course...
Jr: --points the gun at a nearby
wall and pulls the trigger, but no shots are fired-- Well...that's
what she really looks like.
chaos: You don't mean...
Jr:
--throws his arms up in the air in defeat-- YES! SHE'S
ANDROGENOUS! Do you KNOW how much control I must
muster every day! Remember, my body is about fourteen years old,
with ALL of what that entails!
chaos:
--gasps-- No wonder your mind is such a mess! You must have so much
built-up levels of teenage hormones that it's nearly driven you
insane!
Jr: --jumps up and points the gun
underneath chaos's neck and grins wickedly-- NOW you're getting the
picture!
chaos: GAH! DON'T KILL ME!
--Jr pulls the trigger, causing chaos to scream out like a girl before realizing no bullet was fired.--
Jr: --chuckles wickedly--
Idiot. I didn't load the thing.
chaos: --calms down-- Just
like in life, eh?
Jr: --tries to shoot chaos, but KOS-MOS
wrestles his arm down-- I just want to shoot him...just one little
shot...angel boy can revive himself or something...come
on...
Nephilim: Enough. We have far greater problems.
We must reach MOMO before her devestation.
KOS-MOS:
I may be able to infiltrate Vector...
chaos: --shakes
head-- No, you have changed too much. Wilhelm shall be extremely
difficult to deceive, if he is indeed behind all of this.
Nephilim:
--turns to chaos-- Is that where he has been hiding?
chaos:
--nods-- Yes, and he has command of the new loyalists.
Nephilim:
Was that not your assignment?
chaos: Indeed.
Jr:
Well that is all nice and $#$#ing cryptic, but what does that mean
for us?
chaos: We need someone Wilhelm will least expect,
someone hard to predict, someone nearly insane.
Jr: Oh?
Like me? --strokes his gun and grins maliciously--
chaos:
No, you're just a sociopath. We need someone just plain insane.
Jr:
Hmm, well there is...
chaos: --groans-- Not him...
Jr:
Got anyone else in mind?
chaos: --sighs-- Not really...
Jr:
--grins widely-- I'll go recall him from his "mission".
chaos:
--shakes his head-- What have we gotten ourselves into?
--Meanwhile, somewhere on a distant planet in the middle of nowhere, a familiar figure stares at two out of hundred monitors with a wicked grin upon his face.--
I wonder if it's too late to join the party. Mwhahahahahahahahahaha...hahaha...haha...ha...ah, $#$# it. I wonder if the Dumilan twins are taking a shower. --proceeds to stare at another monitor, gaining a different expression altogether-
Part 22
chaos:
Alright, I have contacted the Elsa II. They were going to stop at
Dock Colony to drop off some cargo, but they'll take the nearest UMN
Column and should get here within 5 minutes.
KOS-MOS:
--nods-- In that case, I'll go check on Shion and Allen.
chaos:
Nooo! Give them some privacy!
KOS-MOS: Very well. --moves
over next to chaos-- Say, chaos...
chaos: Um,
yeah?
KOS-MOS: Is this your first time being a boy?
chaos:
...Yeah...
KOS-MOS: --smiles-- I see. This is also my first
time having feelings about a boy, too... --blushes a bit-
chaos:
--blushes profusely-- Ahaha...haha...well, that, um, was my future
self, not me...
KOS-MOS: --looks down-- Are you saying you
do not find me physically attractive?
chaos: No! Of course
not! Why if I were a boy, I'd...well, you don't want to know what I
would do...
KOS-MOS: --looks up with a puzzled expression--
You are a boy.
chaos: Oh, that's right! --slaps
forehead-- Um, well, you still don't know what I would want to
do...
KOS-MOS: --raises an eyebrow-- Would?
chaos:
Err, if given the right scenario...
KOS-MOS: --stands right
next to chaos, who's height puts him at chest level-- And what type
of scenario would that be?
chaos: --gulps, and looks
in a different direction-- Err, like I said, you don't want to
know.
KOS-MOS: --bends down and whispers in chaos's ear--
Maybe you can just whisper it to me, I won't tell anyone...
chaos:
Um, well, I, um...
--chaos grows red all over, and starts breathing heavily. He slowly turns to meet KOS-MOS's face. KOS-MOS puckers her lips slightly in anticipation. chaos takes another deep gulp, and suddenly gains a very weird expression on his face. With a look of panic, fear, and confusion, he screams and runs into a corner.--
KOS-MOS: Mop-top? What's wrong?
chaos:
N-no! Go away!
Nephilim: chaos...
chaos:
Leave me alone!
KOS-MOS: What did I...do?
Nephilim:
chaos, your mind is swirling with anxieties. What is the
matter?
KOS-MOS: --looks down-- I was too
forceful...
chaos: --holds himself-- I-I'm feeling things
NO woman should feel...blood is rushing to parts of my body that
shouldn't be there...and...
chaos: --takes off HIS shirt--
Look! Even my nipples are hardening! --pinches them-- But these are
MAN nipples! It just doesn't feel right...-puts his
shirt back on and starts sobbing-
KOS-MOS:
chaos...
Nephilim: --floats over to chaos and slaps on the
face-- Snap out of it.
chaos: Ouch! What was that for?
--rubs his cheek-
Nephilim: You're being such a baby. Jr
loves MOMO and she's not even biologically female. What defines you
is inside.
chaos: Yeah...wait, what did you just
do?
Nephilim: --slaps chaos again-- You mean this?
chaos:
Ouch! Yeah! You slapped me!
Nephilim: --slaps chaos
yet again-- Indeed, and it seems I can do it more then twice.
chaos:
Ow! Hey, quit it!
Nephilim: --continues slapping chaos on
the face-- This isn't good...
chaos: --breaks away from
Nephilim's slap-fest-- You're telling me! That stings! --rubs his
very sore cheeks-
Nephilim: Reacting to organic matter
means I'm only existing somewhere inbetween second and first state.
Once I reach first state, I'll be completely tangible, and the
universe will be on the brink of destruction.
Part 23
--Meanwhile, somewhere else on the Durandal, Shion is crying in her room.--
Shion: --sobs-- Men are
all PERVERTS!
Allen: --walks into the room, which was
already open-- Knock, knock...
Shion: Go away, you
PERVERT!
Allen: --stratches the back of his neck--
Look, I don't know what you are talking about...
Shion:
GET OUT OF HERE! --starts crying full-stream again-
Allen:
--gulps and starts to back away slowly, stops, and takes a big gulp--
Umm...no?
Shion: --stop crying-- What did you say?
Allen:
No?
Shion: You said no...
Allen: Yeah, I
did.
Shion: --looks down-- It was just like that
time...
Allen: --creeps closer to her-- What time?
Shion:
Kevin...he...he...
Allen: He molested you! That
pervert!
Shion: --jumps up suddenly and turns to
meet Allen in the face-- No! It wasn't like that!
Allen:
Err?
Shion: --looks down and clutches her left arm
defensively-- Yeah, he did grab me once...but then...
Allen:
So he DID molest you!
Shion: --shakes head-- No! He
wouldn't let...let me molest HIM!
Allen: HUH!
Shion: That stupid man! I kept grabbing, but he kept
saying "No, no! Think of what KOS-MOS will say when she sees us
together!"
Allen: --is speechless-
Shion: I
think he had the hots for KOS-MOS, even though she was like a
daughter to him! It was incest, I tell you! The programs he tried to
load into her...
Allen: Oh yeah, I wondered where those
programs came from...
Shion: You mean they're still inside
of her! Then I could have...no, wait, MY KOS-MOS is gone,
isn't she...-sniffles-
Allen: --gulps again, and reaches
out to hold both of Shion's shoulders-- H-hey now...don't be sad.
Although I'm sure this will be a very small consolation, at least you
got me, eh?
Shion: --looks up and smiles--
Yeah...
--Pulling all of his courage, Allen reaches down and kisses Shion. She was taken by surprise from the sudden kiss, even more so surprised that Allen didn't pass out this time --- a matter which surprised Allen, too.--
Shion:
--blushes profusely-- Say, Allen...
Allen: --blushes even
more then Shion-- Yeah...
Shion: Can I call
you...Kevin?
Allen: Umm...no.
Shion: --grins
mischeviously-- Ok, Kevin.
Allen: I said no!
Shion:
Ooo, I like that attitude! --pinches his butt-
Allen:
--leaps up, turning redder then a raddish-- Ow! Hey, what was that!
Shion: --pinches his butt again-- Tee-he-he!
Allen:
Ow! Quit it!
Shion: You KNOW you like
it!
Allen: No, I don't!
Shion: But Kevin always
liked it!
Allen: Err...I'm not Kevin. And by your
description, neither did he.
Shion: --smiles seductively--
You know you want me to...
Allen: No, I really don't! Ow!
--Shion pinches him in the butt yet again-
Allen: That's
it! --shields his behind with his hands-
Shion:
Hmmmm...ohh...-grins even more mischeviously as her eyes look him top
to bottom-
Allen: --looks down, then back up quickly-- O-oh
n-no you DON'T!
Shion: Oh yes!
Allen:
--retreats out of the room, narrowly evading her grab--
AHHHHH!
Shion: --runs after him-- Kevin, my dear! Come
back!
Part 24
--Back in the observatory with chaos and co., A nearby panel lights up with the always angry face of Matthews upon it.--
Matthews: Well! We're here! Get
your $#$es on down to the Elsa II and explain why you needed to drag
us out here!
chaos: Oh! We're on our way. --walks towards
the door, followed a bit too closely by KOS-MOS-
Nephilim:
--floats next to them-- I will accompany you. --runs into a wall and
falls back on her behind after flatening her nose-
chaos:
Nephilim!
KOS-MOS: I will assist. --helps Nephilim to her
feet-
Nephilim: --re-adjusts her nose like it was silly
putty-- This...isn't good. We don't have much time.
--A scream usually emitted by little girls grows nearer and nearer to the group once they entered the hallway.--
chaos: Excuse me.
--chaos extends out his arm towards the left wall and moves a foot over to the right. It only takes a couple of seconds for Allen to come charging down the hallway and trip over chaos's arm.--
chaos: Come on Allen, tell Shion
that we're boarding the Elsa.
Allen: B-but Shion wants to
grab me in n-naughty places!
chaos: Yeah, I know. Who do
you think told her to? Besides, any normal man would WANT to be
grabbed in those places.
Allen: B-b-but...
Shion:
--halts suddenly when she sees the four in the hallway-- Oh! Wh-what
are you all doing here...?
chaos: Talking about your
strange fetishes.
Shion: --blushes profusely-- Ahaha...I
don't kn-know what you are talking about...
Allen:
--sighs-- Trust me, he KNOWS.
Shion: You keep quiet!
Allen:
What if I don't want to keep quiet!
Shion: --blushes even
more-- Oh...um...then th-that's f-fine...s-sure...-clenches her fist,
trying to control her emotions-
Jr: --runs over to meet the
group-- What are you guys waiting for! The Elsa has docked!
Shion:
--breathes a sigh of relief and thinks to herself-- That was
CLOSE!
--Aboard the Elsa II, Captain's Office.--
Jr:
Well Admiral Matthews, seems this old clanker hasn't blown up like
the last one.
Admiral Matthews: Don't be callin' me
Admiral! I ain't the type!
Jr: I DID make you an admiral,
remember?
Admiral Matthews: --grumbles-- That's the last
time I sacrifice my ship to save you bums, if you be givin' me these
stupid titles...
Jr: If you want, I can knock you
down to Luitenant...
Admiral Matthews: --takes a flask from
his shirt and takes a swig-- Nah, don't you be doin' that now. I must
admit, your admirals are allowed more drinking
privilleges...
Jr: --grins-- Like that stopped you
before!
Admiral Matthews: --chuckles-- Ya got me there! Oh,
by the way...nice ta see ya again, chaos!
chaos: --nods--
It's good to be back on the Elsa.
Admiral Matthews: So!
What am I doing here?
KOS-MOS: We require your assistance
to stop the end of the universe.
Admiral Matthews: --shakes
his head-- The universe seems to get in more trouble then my liver!
What is it now, some space cow knockin' down a lantern!
Nephilim:
Actually, we believe Vector Industries somehow uses MOMO to instigate
this...
Admiral Matthews: Well I'll be a monkey's uncle!
Say, who are you little miss, and why are ya wearin' a
nightgown?
Nephilim: I am Nephilim, and this is not a
nightgown, it's just a gown.
chaos: She's one of people
like me.
Admiral Matthews: Oh, the #$#$ cryptic type too,
eh? Look, I'm getting tired of this (#$#, so's why don't you just
tell me who you REALLY are?
Nephilim: I'm sorry, but we
really do not have time.
Admiral Matthews: --sighs-- Fine.
Guess if I can put up with chaos's "don't ask no questions",
I can accept ya.
Part 25
Admiral Matthews:
--leans over and peers at KOS-MOS-- Say...you look
different...
KOS-MOS: I am a newer version of KOS-MOS, from
the future.
Admiral Matthews: Ohhhhhh NO, NO, NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO! Don't say another WORD! Time paradoxes make my
head feel like it's going to explode!
KOS-MOS: --nods-- As
you wish. To put it briefly then, I am advanced Synth model of
KOS-MOS, which is why I look so human.
Admiral Matthews: I
see... --notices KOS-MOS holding chaos's hand-- Oh-ho! what be this
now?
Jr: --grins-- chaos is in love with
KOS-MOS!
chaos: --blushes along with KOS-MOS--
I-I...
Admiral Matthews: --slaps chaos on the back hard,
almost making him lose his footing-- Well I'll be #$#$#ed! Way ta
go!
chaos: Err...we're only suppose to fall in
love...
Jr: Yeah, after chaos turns into a girl!
Admiral
Matthews: --chuckles-- I KNEW IT! I knew it! Me and the
boys had a bet goin', and I just won jackpot! Hammer and Tony
weren't convinced you'd do it, but I KNEW you'd die a girl!
chaos:
It's not like that!
KOS-MOS: --looks down and releases
chaos's hand-- So...you don't even like me, do you? --runs out of the
room-
chaos: Aw (#$#. KOS-MOS, wait! --runs after
her-
Admiral Matthews: --shakes head-- Them's got it
bad...
--Meanwhile, on the bridge...--
Tony:
Hey, hot cheeks. --turns around from his post to look at
Shion-
Shion: Oh hello, Tony.
Tony: --stretches
and flexes at the same time, then gets up and walks over to Shion--
Say, you wanna go grab a bite to eat?
Shion: --shakes her
head-- No thanks, I'm not hungry.
Tony: --grins
mischevously-- Well, there ARE other urges to fufill besides
hunger...
Shion: What, are you talking about comfort
food?
Tony: Oh, I'm sure we'll be plenty
comfortable...through most of it...
--Allen notices Shion's confused expression, and Tony's very mischevous smile, and walks over to them.--
Allen: Hey Shion!
Shion:
Allen!
Tony: Whoa, whoa. --takes Allen's arm and pulls him
away from Shion-
Tony: Listen here...don't you EVER
interrupt me when I'm making the moves on a fine lady!
Allen:
I-I'm sorry...I j-just wanted to know if Shion would go get a bite to
eat with me...
Tony: --laughs-- Someone like you just
doesn't measure up to a chick of those measurements, if
you know what I mean!
Allen: Oh, o-ok. But I'd still like
to ask her, just to make sure.
Tony: --slaps Allen on the
back-- Go knock yerself out, kid!
Allen: --rubs his back as
he walks over to Shion-- Kid? I'm older then you are...
Allen:
Shion...
Shion: Yes, Allen?
Allen: Would you like
to go get something to eat? I'm starving.
Shion: Of
course!
--Shion takes Allen's arm and the two walk over to the elevator. Tony just stands there with a expression of complete disbelief. Thirty minutes later, Matthews comes back to the bridge to check on Tony.--
Admiral Matthews: Yo! Tony! Get your lazy --#$ downstairs, we gots buisness to discuss!
--Tony remains silent, his mouth wide open aghast.--
Admiral Matthews: YO! NOODLES-FOR-BRAINS! SNAP OUT OF IT!
Tony: ...what...what...WHAT THE $#$#!
Part 26
--Meanwhile, somewhere else aboard the Elsa II...--
chaos: KOS-MOS, wait!
KOS-MOS:
--stops in the middle of the hallway-- Leave me alone.
chaos:
--slowly walks up to her, panting from lack of breath-- Look,
I--
KOS-MOS: --spins around suddenly, her eyes turning from
blue to red-- Let me reiterate. Leave me ALONE! --runs
off-
chaos: --#$$# it. --runs after her-
--Soon, KOS-MOS found herself cornered in what appeared to be a storage room. chaos walks slowly towards her, still trying to catch his breath. KOS-MOS has her back towards chaos and is facing a nearby wall.--
chaos: Enough. I can't take any more of
this. My legs are a lot shorter then yours.
KOS-MOS: Must I
keep repeating myself? --glances back with her eyes still red-
chaos:
Why are you being so difficult?
KOS-MOS: Difficult? You
basically announced to the world that you do not love me.
chaos:
Will you listen to yourself? The chaos you love is the future me, not
the current me.
KOS-MOS: Irrelevant. A being such as
yourself does not age so...
chaos: What, I'm not allowed to
be human? How could I have prior feelings for someone I haven't even
met?
KOS-MOS: Did you...did you love the original
KOS-MOS?
chaos: What kind of question is that?
KOS-MOS:
One that requires an answer.
chaos: Look, the truth of the
matter is, I'm so screwed up inside, I don't think I even love
myself!
KOS-MOS: Irrelevant. Once again, a being such as
yourself can transcend beyond such plights.
chaos: --raises
an eyebrow-- For a machine, you certainly know a lot about
spirit's.
KOS-MOS: As well I should.
chaos: And
what is that suppose to mean?
KOS-MOS: You still
haven't answered my question.
chaos: --sighs-- Well...fine.
I wanted to $#$# your predecessor, does that make you feel
better?
KOS-MOS: --turns around slowly-- Do you really mean
that?
chaos: There are times when I must lie, and there are
times when I cannot.
KOS-MOS: Once again, that doesn't
answer my question. Additionaly, your statement is needlessly
cryptic.
KOS-MOS: --smiles slightly as walks towards chaos,
her eyes turning back to blue-- I've always enjoyed that about
you.
chaos: --chuckles-- Guess people like me really don't
change, do they?
KOS-MOS: I wonder...what it is like to
kiss a boy...-leans forward slightly-
chaos: I'd wonder
what it is like to kiss a girl, but I'd just be fooling myself,
wouldn't I? --grins-
--KOS-MOS leans forward more, puckering her lips. chaos and KOS-MOS kiss for almost a minute before a muffled sound from a person distracts them.--
chaos:
Who's there?
UURRGGHH!
KOS-MOS: State
your name immediatly.
Aw --#$#, now it's all over
my hands and my pants! Ack, it's so STICKY!
Part 27
--chaos and KOS-MOS both exchange worried glances before investigating the matter further. Behind a nearby storage shelf they find Hammer, who is sitting on the floor, partially covered in some white, sticky substance.--
Hammer:
Oh! H-Hi! Didn't see you guys here!
chaos: Please don't
tell me that's...
KOS-MOS: Currently, there is a 60.78
percent chance I am going to beat you senseless.
Hammer:
Whoa, whoa! Wait, you think...ha! Haha! Seriously now, it's just
glue!
chaos: And how did glue did all over your hands and
partially your pants?
Hammer: Um...
KOS-MOS: You
have 5.7 seconds to comply.
Hammer: Fine! Then it's not
glue! It's whatever you were thinking!
KOS-MOS: Very well.
Prepare for a loss of consciousness.
chaos: --extends his
arm, halting KOS-MOS's attack-- Wait a moment...-bends down and
sniffs the substance, then takes a quick taste-
KOS-MOS: My
logic circuit's are failing. I cannot believe you just did
that.
chaos: It IS glue.
Hammer: N-no!
It's not! KOS-MOS, now is the time to bludgon me to death!
chaos:
--notices Hammer is gesturing with only one hand, with the other
behind his back-- Wait...what do you have behind your back?
Hammer:
N-N-nothing!
--KOS-MOS twists Hammer's arm, making him drop something on the floor. chaos picks up the object and examines it closely.--
chaos: It's a...doll?
Hammer:
Um, I don't know how that got there...
chaos: This doll is
yours, isn't it?
Hammer: --tries to control himself, but
fails-- It's not a doll! It's an ACTION FIGURE!
chaos:
--peers at it for a moment-- Specifically, it's a robotic doll. I
wonder how it works...
Hammer: --snatches it away from
chaos-- No! Don't you DARE try to upset poor Ms.
Machina!
chaos: Uhh...
Hammer: --gives the doll a
quick kiss, then places it in his pocket-- Um, you didn't see
that.
KOS-MOS: The probability of my disgust has risen to
78.45#.
Hammer: --looks KOS-MOS up and down-- Man...you
sure have changed...you seem less attractive now...
KOS-MOS:
--eyes turn red-- The probability of your demise has risen to
70.12#.
Hammer: Whoa, whoa...I'm sorry, but I'm more into
the mechanical type, if you know what I mean...
KOS-MOS: I
am a Synth version of KOS-MOS, which is why I appear to be more
human.
Hammer: Synth, eh? That means deep down you're still
a collection of tiny machines...oh yeah...
KOS-MOS:
Excuse me?
Hammer: Say...do you have any cybernetic parts
to you? What about your X-BUSTER module? I've never seen it in
action...
KOS-MOS: If I used the X-BUSTER in here, I would
vaporize the Elsa II.
Hammer: Come on, can you just open up
the hatch? Pleaase!
chaos: Wait, didn't all your
organs fall out last time?
KOS-MOS: I have since fixed that
error, and the X-BUSTER module should at least be able to open.
--concentrates as her stomach opens, displaying a huge cannon-like
interface with many glowing and blinkg lights-
Hammer: Oh
yeah...oh yeah...OH YEAH! OOHHHH--
chaos: Um, he's
getting WAY too excited, you should probably close it.
KOS-MOS:
Agreed. --closes her stomach hatch-
Hammer: --pants while
blushing furiously-- Hah...hah...well, I, um, need to go. But before
I do, do you, um, have any old design schematics?
KOS-MOS:
If it will make you leave us alone for the rest of the trip, I have a
copy of my prototype's chassis design.
Hammer: --gulps--
C-Complete with circuit diagrams?
KOS-MOS: It's mostly
circuit diagrams.
Hammer: --grows even redder-- I-I'll take
it...
KOS-MOS: --reaches into her bossom and pulls out the
plans-- Here you go...
Hammer: Thank YOU! --dashes
out of the room-
chaos: --looks over to KOS-MOS-- So those
things are used for storage too, eh?
Part 28
--Meanwhile, back in Admiral Matthews's office, Admiral Matthews and Tony walk in to find Nephilim alone.--
Admiral Matthews: Where's
Jr?
Nephilim: He went off to make sure your "cargo"
is secure.
Admiral Matthews: --groans-- I hope he doesn't
wake him up...
Nephilim: Unfortunately, I believe that was
the general idea.
Tony: --pokes Nephilim-- Cool, now
there's a floating chick in my dream!
Admiral Matthews:
--smacks Tony upside the head-- This ain't no chick, this here is
Nephilim. She's somethin' like chaos's sister. And fer the last time,
ya ain't dreamin'!
Tony: Yeah, yeah, sure. Say, I wonder if
I'm having one of those dreams where I make out with underage
girls?
Nephilim: I do not like where this is headed.
Tony:
Come here you little lolita! --tries to grab Nephilim, but she
teleports away-
Nephilim: Admiral Matthews, please take
care of your crewmember.
Admiral Matthews: --pounds Tony's
head HARD-- YA AIN'T DREAMIN', YA MORON!
Tony:
--falls down, almost passing out from the pain-- OWWW!
Admiral
Matthews: Wake now, ya moron?
Tony: Man, this dream
really sucks!
Nephilim: This is not a dream. This is
reality.
Tony: --shakes his head-- No, no, I MUST be
dreaming. I saw Allen upstage me with Shion! It just isn't
possible!
Nephilim: That was fate. You cannot fight
fate.
Tony: Well my little missy, I can. My moves
have never failed me before!
Nephilim: Your "moves"
are archaic at best. Only an ape would fall for them.
Tony:
Guess that's why all my scores had so much backhair...
Nephilim:
No, that is for a different reason.
Admiral Matthews:
Sheesh! Moron!
Tony: Hey! Since this is a dream, you
can't treat me that way!
Admiral Matthews: --takes out a
flask and starts drinking from it-- ...Moron.
Tony: And
another thing! I want a taste of your booze!
Admiral Matthews:
This here 'll rip the hair right off yer chest, along with a few
vital organs. Sure ya wanna try it?
Tony: --snatches
the flask away from Matthews-- GIMMIE! --guzzles down it's
content-
Admiral Matthews: Ya finished?
Tony:
--wipes some froth from his lip-- Yep!
Nephilim: What proof
is that liquor?
Admiral Matthews: Bein' a boozer all my
life, I gots a high tolerance fer the stuff. Anything less then 100
percent just gives me a little buzz.
Tony: That's weird, I
feel fi--- --passes out and starts foaming at the mouth, then
involuntarily wets himself-
Admiral Matthews: Aw man, I
just cleaned the floor!
Jr: --pops inside-- Hey
guys! Look who I found!
Ziggy: DIE, GNOSIS SCUM! --tackles
Nephilim and starts beating her up-
Nephilim: --teleports
out of Ziggy's grip, then continously teleports around the room-- A
little assistance, please...
Jr: --shoots Ziggy in the
leg-- Stop that!
Ziggy: AHH! MY $#$#ing leg! WHY DID YOU
SHOOT ME!
Nephilim: You shot him in the leg.
Jr:
--shrugs-- Only thing I could think of.
Ziggy: You ended
that sentence with a preposition...you must be a clone of Jr!
I shall avenge the death of Bunnie!
Jr: Bunnie? Wasn't he
one of your enemies?
Ziggy: What are you talking about!
Bunnie is the Lord of Fluffy Castle, hidden on the Planet of Rainbow
Sunshine!
Admiral Matthews: --leans over to Nephilim--
He's turned looney!
Nephilim: It seems Ziggy's neural
network is failing.
Ziggy: --picks up Jr and starts shaking
him-- Where did you take the Lollipop Guild, WHERE!
Jr:
To the wizard's house?
Ziggy: --throws Jr down-- So, the
Wicked Wizard...we meet again. I shall not let you obtain the
secrets of Rainbow Sunshine! --runs out of the room-
Part 29
Nephilim: ...This isn't good.
Jr:
Uh...
Admiral Matthews: Don't tell me Ziggy's in on this
mission! He's marbles be so far gone, they be rollin' off the
end of the universe!
Jr: --sighs-- He's the only one who
can get us into Vector...
Admiral Matthews: --turns over to
Nephilim-- Say, where did yer bruises go?
Nephilim: Another
one of those --#$$# cryptic things.
Admiral Matthews:
--nods-- Fair enough.
--A nearby screen lights up with the picture of a bruised man in a maitenence uniform.--
Fred:
Uh, hi, this is, um, Fred, one of Neo-Kukai's maintence workers. Some
cyborg came rushing down, asked me if I was the wizard, then beat me
up. I, um, wouldn't have said anything, but he, um, went and killed
my dog too.
Ziggy: --heard from a distance-- The wizard! He
still lives!
Fred: Um, gotta go. --dashes out of camera's
view, followed closely by Ziggy-
Jr: --looks around the
room as everyone engages in a moment of silence-- ...Yeah, yeah, I'll
go get him.
--Meanwhile...--
KOS-MOS: "I
have longed for you since the day I first saw you."
Hammer:
"Say nothing more. We are together now."
chaos:
"Not if I have anything to say about it!"
KOS-MOS:
"chaos!"
chaos: "Mwhaha, you shall be mine
again, KOS-MOS, that is to say, you shall belong to me and me
ALONE!"
KOS-MOS: "No! I'll never go
back to you!"
Hammer: "Leave her
alone!"
chaos: "Fool! I have brought my Killer
Death Robot Squad!"
Killer Death Robot Squad: "CRUSH.
--beep-- KILL. DESTROY. --beep-"
Hammer: "No, it
is YOU who are the fool! I'll summon Gigantos!"
chaos:
"Mwhahaha! If you summon Gigantos in here, the roof will
collapse, and that would be bad, because if the roof collapses, it
would crush KOS-MOS! Mwhahaha!"
Hammer: "But
wait! I have added a shrinking mechanism to Gigantos!"
chaos:
"WHAT! NO! How can I stop such a power! It is
inconcievable! I am left without any hope, recourse, or otherwise
means in which to defeat you!"
Hammer: "Aha! Take
THIS!
chaos: "Argh! I must retreat, vamoose,
scram, escape, that is to say, RUN AWAY!"
Hammer:
"Fret not my dear. I think we have seen the last of the evil
chaos."
KOS-MOS: "My hero!"
Jr:
Yo! Doll boy! I need your help out here! Ziggy's gone
haywire!
--Hammer turns around to stare at Jr for a moment with a very pale face. In his hands is a miniture version of KOS-MOS, and himself, all fully posable and with amazing detail. Lying next to his hands is some generic robot that appears to be some type of an AGWS, and a miniture version of chaos.--
Hammer:
H-h-how l-long have you b-been there!
Jr: --grins-- Long
enough to hear you make the smoochy sounds for your dolls.
Hammer:
Don't you know how to knock!
Jr: Listen geekazoid,
Ziggy's neutral network is scrambled so bad, I'm about ready
to serve it with a side of bacon. You're the only one who can fix it,
'sides Shion, and I don't know where she's run off to. Unless you
want your little dollies to be the butt of everyone's jokes, I
suggest you come with me NOW!
Hammer: --puts down
his toys and sighs-- Fine...
Jr: Good! I'll go try to catch
him off at the pass! --runs out of the room-
Hammer:
--rushes after him-- WAIT! THEY'RE CALLED ACTION FIGURES! ACTION
FIGURES!
Part 30
--BLAM! BLAM!--
Hammer: W-watch where you're aiming
that thing!
Jr: Sorry, but Ziggy keeps moving!
Hammer:
You're not much of a gunman, are you?
Jr: --holds
the gun right under Hammer's chin-- Wanna try saying that
again?
Hammer: --gulps-- Umm...
Fred:
--distant shout-- AUGGHH!
Jr: Aw (-#$, he's found
Fred again.
Ziggy: --heard from a far distance-- Wizard! I
shall defeat you here and now!
Jr: Come on!
--grabs Hammer's arm and runs towards the scream-
Fred: I'm
not a wizard! I'm just a maitenence worker, and a Realian at
that!
Ziggy: Fool! I am onto to your tricks...
Fred:
PLEASE don't twist my nipples anymore...
Ziggy: Aha! Trying
to protect the source of your power...disgusting...
Jr: The
source of his power are his nipples?
Ziggy: Jr! Hold this
man down, for he is the wizard!
Jr: He ain't no
wizard, he's just a maitenence worker...
Ziggy: Lies! The
wizard has clouded your mind...I will uncloud it!
Jr:
Wha--
--Before Jr could finish his sentence, Ziggy kicks Jr in the head HARD, sending the boy flying across the room.--
Hammer:
AUGH! You killed Jr!
Ziggy: No I didn't. Besides, even
death would be better then to remain in the clutches of the evil
wizard.
Hammer: --runs over to Jr-- A-are you...OK?
Jr:
--gets up slowly, holding his head tighly-- That stupid $#$#ing
cyborg, that HURT!
Hammer: --#$#, nothing keeps
you down, huh...
Jr: --gets out both his guns-- I'm gonna
kill that $#$#ing $#$#er!
Hammer: --wrestles
Jr down-- Whoa, whoa! We can't kill him, we need him for the
mission!
Jr: NO! LET ME GO! I WANT TO KILL HIM!
Hammer:
--slaps Jr across the face-- Snap out of it!
Jr: --falls
silent for a moment, rubbing his cheek-- Thanks, I needed
that...
Hammer: --smiles-- Anytime!
Jr: --pokes
one of his guns in Hammer's mouth, then the other at his forehead--
But if you EVER do that again, I WILL KILL YOU!
Jr:
--retracts his guns, then leans over to Hammer and smiles sweetly--
Got it?
Hammer: --falls over, unconscious-- Guhh... --foams
at the mouth-
Jr: WAKE UP YOU $#$#ER! --shoots near
Hammer's leg-
Hammer: --jumps up with a start, screaming
like a little girl-- I'M AWAKE! I'M AWAAAAKE!
Jr: --blows
the smoke from his gun-- Good. Let's go subdue Ziggy.
--Jr and Hammer walk back over to Ziggy, who is still beating up poor Fred.--
Ziggy --kicks Fred-- And THIS is for all
the flowers you trampled! --kicks Fred again-- And THIS is for all
the lollipops you stole from the children of planet Rainbow Sunshine!
--kicks Fred yet again-- And THIS is for Bunnie!
Jr: Hey,
Ziggy!
Ziggy: Yes, what is i--
--Before Ziggy could finish his sentence, Jr pulls out his guns and shoots Ziggy in the arms, legs, and chest. Ziggy tenses up, then falls over, unconscious.--
Hammer: You $#$#ing KILLED
him!
Jr: No, he's a cyborg, remember? All the parts I hit
are just machine. Get to work fixing him, and take a look at his
neural net while you're at it.
Hammer: I'm no brain
surgeon, I can't do that!
Jr: --points his gun at Hammer--
You'd $#$#ing better. --holsters his gun-- I'll be back in an hour.
--grins wickedly-- Until then.
Fred: --scrapes himself to a
standing position-- I-is he really down?
Hammer: Yep.
Fred:
--kicks Ziggy, then hops around on one foot-- AWWW man...shouldn't
have done that...owwww...I think I broke my --#$$# foot!
Hammer:
His body is made out of super-strong alloys, y'know.
Part 31
Allen: So then I said, "That's not a
multiplexor, that's the hyperconductor!"
Shion:
--laughs-- How could she have ever gotten them mixed up!
Allen:
--chuckles-- I know!
--Shion and Allen are eating a meal together in the mess hall. Tony walks over to their table.--
Tony:
Yo!
Shion: Oh, hi Tony.
Allen: --glances at Tony,
then back to Shion, ignoring him-- Well, so I asked her what size
wrench she uses for the ankle connectors, and she says, "Size
doesn't matter"...
Shion: --giggles-- Man, how did she
ever get into Vector! I mean, any idiot knows you need
a...
Shion # Allen: Size 8-B Square! --both start
laughing-
Tony: Hmmm. --wait's until Shion calms down--
Hey, Shion, let's ditch this geek.
Shion: --pushes up her
glasses closer to her face-- Excuse me?
Tony: He's
just dead weight. Why have him when you can have this?
--flexes-
Shion: Uhh...
Tony: If I told you, "you
have a beautiful body", would you rub it up against me?
Shion:
--blinks-- Why would I want to rub my body up against anyone?
Tony:
Err. Say, I lost my interstellar phone number. Can I have
yours?
Shion: Then how would people call me?
Tony:
--grumbles-- Well, should I worship you? Since you are definately
a goddess.
Shion: --looks down-- Nope, I'm human. I'm also
not very religious.
Tony: Err. Well, where have you been
all my life?
Shion: --blinks-- I only first met you several
years ago, so before then, I was mostly stationed around Vector.
During my childhood, I called First Miltia my home.
Tony:
--groans-- You know, you remind me of someone...that famous actress
on TV!
Shion: Which one?
Tony: The beautiful
one.
Shion: --laughs-- Yeah, that really narrows it
down!
Tony: You are so beautiful, you're better then all
those actresses combined!
Shion: I should hope I am better
then all the actresses combined --- that'd be one ugly
woman!
Tony: I mean their BEST features combined...
Shion:
Oh. Then it's rather flattering then. Thanks.
Tony: --sighs
deeply-
Shion: What's wrong?
Tony: Um?
Err...I...I've been rather down lately. My dog and cat died
recently.
Shion: How did your cat die?
Tony:
Eaten by the dog.
Shion: And your dog?
Tony:
Choaked on the cat.
Shion: --looks sympathetic-- You poor
thing...
Tony: Yeah...I don't know if I can go back to my
quarters alone, with the memory of the dog and cat haunting
me...
Shion: Oh, I know what we can do!
Tony:
--half-way smiles, trying to hide a grin-- You do?
Shion:
Allen can sleep in your quarters tonight!
Allen: --grins
widely-- Yeah! Sounds like a great plan!
Tony:
--almost falls over from surprise and disappointment--
Um...no.
Shion: Why, you don't like Allen?
Allen:
He doesn't like me!
Tony: Yeah, I don't like you! What
are you going to do about it!
Allen: --sniffs-- He
doesn't like me!
Shion: --consoles Allen-- You poor
thing!
Allen: I-I don't think I can be alone tonight,
knowing I am so unloved...
Shion: Then I'll sleep in your
quarters tonight!
Allen: --immediatly perks up-- Really!
I'm feeling better already!
Tony: NOO!
--runs out of the room-
Shion: --blinks in confusion--
What's wrong with him?
Allen: --grins-- No clue!
Part 32
--chaos walks into the mess hall, and Shion motions for him to come join them.--
Shion: --hands chaos
some of her food-- Here, I couldn't get to this.
chaos:
Thanks, I am starving! --munches down the food-
Shion:
--inspects chaos closely-- Say...there's a strange glow about
you...and your hair smells nice!
chaos: Yeah, I just took a
shower.
Shion: Ah. --looks around-- Where is
KOS-MOS?
chaos: She's taking a nap, after also taking a
shower.
Allen: Wait, are you saying that merhermphama--
--Allen is cut off by chaos's hand on his mouth-
chaos:
Silly Allen, such a dirty mind you have!
--Jr strolls into the room, and walks right up to the video phone.--
chaos: Hey Jr, did you manage to get Ziggy
under control?
Jr: --grins-- You could say that. Now stand
back, I need to make a call.
--Jr presses a few buttons on a nearby console and Gaignun appears on the screen. His hair is completely frazzled and he has lipstick kisses in various places on his face, collar, and body.--
Gaignun: This had
better be important.
Jr: --grins-- Hehe. I couldn't seem to
contact you any other way.
Gaignun: Well of course not. I
was a bit preocuppied.
Jr: Hi Mary!
Mary:
--jumps in view of the camera-- Hi litta masta!
Shion:
--gasps-- Uhh...
Allen: Good lord, she's naked!
chaos:
Oh for the love of myself.
Jr: Booyah!
Mary:
--looks puzzled, then looks down-- Ahh! Why am I naked!
Jr: --laughs-- You devil, you!
Mary:
Gaignun! What have you done!
Gaignun: Nothing. I
have done nothing.
Mary: Yes...nothing...wait...what was I
talkin' 'bout?
Gaignun: You were asking about flowers. I
think they are pretty, don't you?
Mary: Yes...flowers are
indeed pretty...
Gaignun: You will leave now.
Mary:
Yes...I will leave now... --exit's off camera-
Jr: You
could at least tell her to put some clothes on!
Gaignun:
Hmm. Slipped my mind.
Jr: --grins-- Along with a few other
little dirty thoughts!
Gaignun: My, my. If you consider
those "little dirty thoughts", then you're even dirtier
then I am.
Jr: No one can be dirtier then you, old
man.
Gaignun: --groans-- Well...what do you want?
Jr:
You know what I want.
Gaignun: Wait, wait...end of the
world?
Jr: I thought I thought that pretty
clearly.
Gaignun: Hmmmm. Another young girl...I'd like to
meet her in person...
Jr: --shakes head-- Man, you
are sick...
chaos: And besides, she's like me, and
we're both immune to your mind tricks.
Gaignun: Fair
enough. So, the answer is yes. She's being held in Vector.
chaos:
So, it IS Wilhelm...
Gaignun: Furthermore, they are
building some kind of big machine...
Shion: Well of course
they are! Vector is the major producers of AGWS!
Gaignun:
No, nothing as (-#$py as that. Supposedly, it stands 15 meters
tall.
Allen: My gosh! What kind of monster is that!
Jr: One that needs MOMO somehow. Am I right?
Gaignun:
It is true she is being held in Vector. I can't say why, though. What
do I look like, a mind reader?
Jr: YES!
Gaignun:
--sighs-- Granted, but I cannot read Wilhelm's mind for some
reason.
chaos: Of course you can't...
Nephilim:
We have already left the dock, and are on course to Vector.
Part 33
--Jr almost jumps backwards when he suddenly notices Nephilim is standing right next to him.--
Jr: AH!
Where'd you come from!
Nephilim: The stuff dreams are
made from, kiddo.
Gaignun: Hmm, you are
beautiful...
Nephilim: I am also not human.
Gaignun:
Why, what a coincidence...
Nephilim: --turns to Jr--
Do all of your kind act this way?
Jr: --shrugs-- When
you're genetically engineered to be born ten years old, you kinda
grow up crooked.
Gaignun: However, I'll have you
know that I I was born perfectly straight. In fact, I'm
straight right now.
Nephilim: --turns to chaos-- Do
you think I could get an allowance?
chaos: I've
asked on numerous occassions. It's always "only kill the bad
guys", blah blah blah...
Gaignun: Hey
now...
Jr: Enough, she's not interested. Do you understand
the plan?
Gaignun: Plan? ...Oh. Hmm, a bold move.
Jr:
You got it?
Gaignun: This may be just crazy enough
to work...Wait, no...it's just plain crazy.
Jr:
--grins wickedly-- I did make it up.
Gaignun:
Very well. I'll see what I can do. --screen fades to black-
chaos:
--yawns and stretches-- Well now that's out of the way, I think I'll
be taking a nap in my quarters.
Jr: Wait, isn't KOS-MOS
resting in your quarters? --grins-
chaos:
Huh, you're right. I guess I'll just have to sleep
on the floor...well, goodnight. --enters the elevator-
Allen:
--shakes head-- Sheesh...
Shion: --blinks in confusion--
What is it?
Allen # Jr: Nothing...
Admiral Matthews:
--exit's from the elevator-- What are you all doin' down here!
Nephilim: I informed them of our departure.
Admiral
Matthews: Well that's all nice 'n good, but where's dumb and
dumbest?
Jr: Tony is having a nervous breakdown after Shion
picked Allen over him, and Hammer is breaking down a nervous
system.
Admiral Matthews: Oh fer pete's sake! You all
should be --#$# glad that I can remember my flight
academy days!
Jr: I don't see how flying around in
airplanes has anything to do with flying a spaceship!
--grins-
Admiral Matthews: Hey now, watch it
there. I ain't that old.
Shion: What's an
airplane?
Jr: Yeah Admiral. What IS an
airplane?
Admiral Matthews: it's a flying vehicle used only
for inner-atmospheric environments, only morons wouldn't know
that!
Shion: Oh, I see...I think I've...read about one
before in one of Jin's books.
Jr: --grins-- I've never
heard of it either...
Admiral Matthews: You --#$$#
liar, I know you've heard of them before!
Jr:
--looks up innocently-- Hmm...not a clue!
Admiral Matthews:
--grumbles-- Just forget it!
Jr: I'm sure that'll
be easier on you, seeing as how you gots so few brain cells left
anyway...
Admiral Matthews: Why, 'cause I'm so old!
Jr: --points to the flask in Matthews hand-- No, 'cause
of that. Haha! --grins-
Admiral Matthews: Oh, ya do
gots a point there...hehe...
--An hour passes. Hammer comes down the elevator with Ziggy by his side.--
Hammer:
Alright! I think I got Ziggy fixed up and ready to go!
Jr:
That was quick.
Hammer: Yeah well, we're going to reach
Vector in only an hour, so I knew I had to hurry...
Ziggy:
What is this mission you require of me, Jr?
Jr: Well, I
need you t--
Ziggy: I AM A LITTLE TEAPOT SHORT AND
STOUT. THIS IS MY HANDLE AND THIS IS MY SPOUT. IF YOU TOUC---
Hammer:
--bangs Ziggy on the head HARD-- Ziggy! Get a hold of
yourself!
Ziggy: ...So, Jr, what do you want?
Jr:
Wait, what the was that!
Hammer: Oh,
um, just bang his head if he starts doing that again. But otherwise,
he's fine!
Part 34
--Matthews has joined the crew in eating dinner. Ziggy wait's paitently by the elevator door, while Nephilim has disappeared.--
Shion: Hey
Allen?
Allen: Yeah?
Shion: Do you
like...um...stuff?
Allen: ...Yeah...
Shion:
--nods-- Good.
Admiral Matthews: What the $#$# are you two
talking about?
Shion: ...Stuff...
Allen: Yeah,
stuff!
Shion: --notices her hand and freaks out-- Whoa! My
hand...it's so...
Allen: Hand-ish?
Shion: Yeah! I
was like, "whoa"!
Allen: Lemme see your hand.
--takes Shion's hand-
Shion: --blushes-- Umm...
Allen:
Your hand...it's...cosmic...
Shion: Yeah...hey, I got an
idea...
Allen: Huh?
--Shion leans over and starts furiously kissing Allen. Surprisingly, Allen doesn't even flinch, and just goes with it. Matthews and Hammer are left in disbelief.--
Admiral Matthews: --#$#!
Hammer:
What the $#$#!
Admiral Matthews: I want to get what
they're having! --chuckles-
Hammer: I know,
man.
Admiral Matthews: Say, do you seem a
bit...lightheaded?
Hammer: I feel $#$#ing stoned,
man.
Admiral Matthews: This ain't right...
Hammer:
But what I'm watching is SO right!
Admiral Matthews:
Ziggy! Yo, Ziggy! What the $#$# is going on!
Ziggy: My
mental capacities have been compromised. --slouches and closes his
eyes-
Admiral Matthews: Well $#$#ing tell me something I
don't know!
Hammer: Oh yeah! Way to squeeze
that t--
Admiral Matthews: --knocks Hammer upside the head,
interrupting him-- Go fix Ziggy and figure out what the $#$# is going
on!
Hammer: Alright! Alright! Sheesh, you've gotten a
--#$#$ dirty mouth all of a sudden...
Admiral Matthews:
JUST GO $#$#ING DO IT, YA $#$#ING MORON!
--Hammer walks up and inspects Ziggy, while Shion and Allen are nearing closer and closer to last thing you think they'd ever be doing.--
Admiral
Matthews: --#$#! The kid's going for it!
Hammer: I
think I figured out the problem!
Admiral Matthews: Well,
what is it!
Hammer: Ziggy wasn't getting enough air to
his brain for some weird reason!
Ziggy: --reactivates
completely-- Actually, none of us are. The chamber is slowly being
filled with carbon monoxide.
Admiral Matthews: --jumps up
out of his table-- WHAT!
Admiral Matthews: --runs
over to Hammer-- You'd better $#$#ing fix this!
Hammer:
Dude, my fingers have little valleys in them...
Admiral
Matthews: ...What?
Hammer: --puts up one finger to
Matthews-- Look, they got little valleys in them! Like the $#$#ing
canyons on Miltia!
Admiral Matthews: ...it's called a
fingerprint...
Hammer: I know, I know...but it's
like...what if tiny, little people lived on my hands? Would
they vacation on my fingers? That would be SO cool!
Admiral
Matthews: SNAP OUT OF IT, YA MORON! --slaps Hammer on the
back of the head, knocking him unconscious-
Ziggy: You
shouldn't have done that. Hammer doesn't have a lot of stamina. And
it seems, neither do they. --points over to Shion and Allen, who are
passed out in each other's arms-
Admiral Matthews:
--wobbles a bit-- Whoa...seems I'm running out of time, too...
Ziggy:
Someone is blocking me from accessing the environmental controls, in
addition to the elevator.
Admiral Matthews:
...$#$#...
Part 35
Ziggy: Matthews!
Matthews! Hold on!
Admiral Matthews: No...I'm a goner...I
hope...I hope they got enough booze in heaven...
Ziggy:
Given your previous debaucheries, and depending on your religion,
that's not exactly a fair assessment...
Admiral Matthews:
--coughs voraciously-- Ah, $#$# you...-passes out-
Ziggy:
--falls to one knee and thinks to himself-- Admiral Matthews was
tough. Even with my cyborg lungs, I won't last much longer.
--Ziggy was just about to lose consciousness when the elevator doors fly open with tremendous force. As the dust settles, Ziggy's blurred vision is treated to the sight of dual-gatling gun weilding KOS-MOS and oxygen-mask wearing chaos. KOS-MOS inspects Shion and Allen first, equipping them with an oxygen masks, while chaos tends to Hammer and Matthews. Ziggy manages to rise to his feet and walk over to KOS-MOS to get an oxygen mask from her.--
Ziggy: What's
going on out there?
KOS-MOS: Unknown. I was recharging
in...chaos's quarters, when a warning on my environmental sensors
awoke me. I turned to find chaos, who was sleeping on
the...floor...was not breathing. After preforming
a...necessary...amount of mouth-to-mouth recusitation, I was able to
get him breathing again. I found some oxygen masks in the clinic,
which you are all now wearing.
Hammer: --looks around--
Where...where is Jr?
chaos: And Nephilim? Where is
Nephilim? Wasn't she down here?
Allen: I think I saw Jr and
Nephilim disappear some place...
chaos: --pounds one fist
into his other hand-- Oh, he'd better NOT be trying to do what
I KNOW he's trying to do...
Admiral Matthews: Look, Jr can
go $#$# Shion fer all I care, I just want my ship back ta
normal!
Shion: Hey! --slaps Matthews-- I'm not
like...that!
Admiral Matthews: --rubs his face and grins--
From what I was seein', ya definately got it in ya!
Shion:
--blushes a furious shade of red-- Umm...w-was I...really...I
mean...did I...really...OH NO! --runs off-
Allen: Shion!
Oh, --#$# you, Matthews! --runs after her-
Admiral
Matthews: Oh fer crying out loud!
KOS-MOS: Enough. We
must fix the controls, then find out who is behind this.
Environmental controls just don't go on the fritz right after a full
inspection. This is obviously sabotage.
Ziggy: Someone
locked me out of the controls. They must have known we were down
here, so that means...
KOS-MOS: --nods-- There is a 96.7
percent probability that it is someone on this ship. If we rule out
everyone here except for Shion and Allen, that leaves...
Hammer:
Nephilim, Jr, and Tony...but Tony couldn't ever do it...
chaos:
Neither could Nephilim...
Admiral Matthews: I doubt even
the litta masta would try something this stupid...
Ziggy:
Regardless, we must be on our way. Once the oxygen levels are
depleted, these masks will become useless. KOS-MOS, you're the only
one obviously immune to this danger, so you should lead the
way.
KOS-MOS: Affirmative.
--The group makes their way to a control hub and try to override the environmental controls.--
Ziggy: --#$$# it! This is no
good...we've been locked out.
KOS-MOS: All functions have
been re-routed to the bridge.
Admiral Matthews: Well then,
what are you lazy bums waitin' fer! Let's GO!
Part 36
--On their way to the bridge, the group meets a dazed Jr.--
Jr: Yo...you're all like...walkin'
and...stuff...
Ziggy: Seems a lack of oxygen even has an
effect on Jr.
Jr: Hey now! Chill! Chill...chill...whoa!
Look at my feet! They're so small! I'm 26, why are my feet so
small!
chaos: You have the body of a 12 year old.
Jr:
--laughs drunkinly-- Uhh...yeah, I know...say, where's that
translucent chick that was with me?
chaos: Nephilim?
Nephilim was here?
Jr: Is that her name? I must have
been trippin' bad when she was here, because she was all floatin' and
stuff...
Hammer: --hands Jr a mask-- Here, put this on.
Jr:
--declines the mask-- Naww, pure oxygen will make me even more
stoned. My body works differently then yours...phsaw! HAHAHAHA!
--laughs aimlessly-
chaos: --grabs Jr-- Jr! Where is
Nephilim!
Jr: She was like, "I got to go save people
and stuff"...she went to the bridge...
Hammer: Look!
There's someone on the video panel!
Admiral Matthews:
--groans-- Aw man...
Tony: --displayed on the video
panel-- Yes! It's me! And now, you shall all PERISH!
MWHAHAHA!
Admiral Matthews: What the has gotten
into you, ya MORON!
Hammer: --#$$# captain, you are cursin'
like a sailor!
Admiral Matthews: I AM A SAILOR!
Tony:
Yeah, Sailor Moon. --cackles-
Admiral Matthews: Oh-ho, an
obscure reference to some ancient television program. I see ya gots
LOTS of smarts about that stuff...
Tony: Enough!
Now...DIE!
chaos: That was totally unconcinving.
Hammer:
Yeah, Albedo was a much better villian...
Tony: $#$#
you all!
Jr: HEY! Hey, hey, hey...did you know...DID YOU
KNOW...if you rearrange the letters in my nickname, you get "U R
JIN" --- isn't that FREAKY!
KOS-MOS: Your nickname
contains an "o".
Jr:
Yeah...yeah...YEAH...yeah...well, then you get..."UR IN OJ"!
Whoa, dude!
chaos: So that is why you have such an
orange complexion!
Hammer: Look who's talking, angel
dude!
chaos: I'm not orange! I'm more...mocca.
Tony:
HEY! HELLOOO! Why isn't anyone paying attention to ME, the bad guy!
Hammer: Because you suck at being a bad guy!
Tony:
Ah-ha! But I have a hostage! Take a good look! --reaches out
to the side and brings someone into his grip-
Shion:
Mhelmp! --Tony's hand covers her mouth-
KOS-MOS:
Shion!
chaos: She's not wearing her mask, either!
Admiral
Matthews: At least let the lady breathe, ya MORON!
Tony:
Are you guys blind or sumthin'? I'm not wearing a mask either! it's
nice and comfortable up here on the bridge.
Hammer:
Tony...why!
KOS-MOS: Explain yourself immediatly, or I
will vaporize you into 3,423,751 micro-particles. However, there is a
65.4 percent probability I will have to do this anyway.
Tony:
Mwhaha! Shion rejected me...but not THIS time! I will erase all
competition, and then Shion will have no choice but to get jiggy with
ME!
Hammer: "Get jiggy"? That's SO lame.
Admiral
Matthews: MORON! Take a good look around here! Ya think Ziggy and
I are much "competition"!
KOS-MOS: Not to
mention myself. I have no desire to court my own grandmother.
Shion:
Awww.
Tony: Enough! ENOUGH! Stop screaming inside my HEAD!
STOP IT! --wrestles himself, like he was fighting an invisable
foe-
Hammer: --leans over to Matthews-- Man, he's totally
lost it...
Jr: You know, you're one FOXY
lady...
chaos: --leans far away from Jr-- I'm a boy...
Jr:
Yeah, but you are usually a girl, right? So, then there would
be nothing wrong with a little...
chaos: GAH!
--leaps away from Jr-
Tony: --composes himself, but still
retains a wild look in his eyes-- Fools! No one shall stop me! And I
will be with Shion...FOREVER! Mwhaha! MWHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Part 37
Shion: Melmp me!
Tony: There is no
help for you now!
Unhand her, you fiend! --a
voice from some nearby shadows-
Tony: What! Who are you!
Allen: You know who I am. --pokes his head out of the
shadows-
Tony: Hah! Allen! So, you didn't run and hide!
Well, I will kill you! --raises his other hand, which contains a
weapon-
Allen: I don't think so.
--Allen exit's fully from the shadows, revealing that he is wearing his bathing suit. Tony falls back and releases Shion, completely digusted by the sight.--
Tony: NO!
Must...keeps...eyes...open...aiming...difficult...without...vision...-closes
his eyes to escape the horror, and releases his weapon in
defeat-
Shion: --runs over to Allen and kisses him-- My
hero!
Allen: --almost falls down-- Crips lady, do you WANT
me to pass out!
--Meanwhile, Tony's mind is a raging inferno of confused emotions. Voices are screaming at him to kill the Elsa crew, and then kill himself along with his love, Shion. A single voice breaks through the darkness.--
Tony:
Who...who are you?
Seeker: I am...the
Seeker.
Tony: The seeker...am I looking for
something?
Seeker: Yes.
Tony: What
am I looking for, then?
Seeker: You must discover
that for yourself.
Tony: Well that's nice and
$#$#ing cryptic. Any clues?
Seeker: Shion is in the
arms of your hated enemy.
Tony: Allen! HOW can a
dweeb like that EVER get Shion off!
Seeker:
For the first time in his life, Allen has power over Shion
--- the power to make her happy.
Tony: Why can't I
have that!
Seeker: It is the power of love.
Tony:
-#$$# him! All I have is this feeling of hatred...
Seeker:
That is the beginning of another type of power.
Tony:
Really? So I can win Shion if I gain this other power?
Seeker:
Perhaps. I could give it to you, and let you feed off your own
hatred.
Tony: I don't know, that sounds rather
psychotic...
Seeker: You're the one listening to
voices. By the way, the voices are angry. Give them peace.
Tony:
Will it stop the voices, too!
Seeker: Of
course.
Tony: Fine! Then what do I need to do!
Seeker: All you need do is answer this
question...Doth thou desire the power?
Tony:
YES!
--Tony leaps to his feet as a strange, sinister light surrounds him. His eyes glow a hideous black, and his face turns into a malicious grin. He holds out his palm to Allen, and seems to start gathering energy into it.--
Tony: Now...you...DIE!
--Energy comes surging from his hand towards Allen, who is too frightened to run away. Just as Allen braces for his early demise, Shion leaps in front of the blast. Allen rushes to her side--
Allen: SHION!
NOOOOOOOOOO--
Tony: --#$$# it!
Allen:
---OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--
Tony: Allen...
Allen:
---OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--
Tony: ALLEN...
Allen:
---OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--
Tony: SHUT UP, YOU
$#$#ER!
--Tony raises his hand for another blast, but something stops him. He suddenly realizes that Nephilim is standing before him, singing very quietly. Something about her singing obviously soothes Tony, as he stops his assault for the moment. Nephilim floats up to Tony's head, and gently brushes her hand across his face. The Elsa crew manages to smash down the bridge's door just as Tony drifts off to slumber land.--
Nephilim:
That's right...sleep now...sleep...
chaos:
Nephilim!
Hammer: Tony!
KOS-MOS: Shion!
Ziggy:
Bunnie! --is kicked by Hammer-- I mean, Tony!
Part 37
Seeker You do not wish to dream just yet.
Awaken!
Tony: GAH! Get...get away from me!
--Tony screams as his body fades into nothingness.--
Admiral
Matthews: Would SOMEONE mind telling me what is going on!
Nephilim: That voice...could it be...
Allen:
Someone, someone help me!
chaos:
Shion...
--KOS-MOS rushes over to Shion's side. Allen is hugging Shion's head and trying to hold back tears. KOS-MOS inspects Shion thoroughly, but gets no response from her. With a very grave look on her face, KOS-MOS rises and slowly shakes her head to the others.--
KOS-MOS: Her life functions
have...ceased.
Allen: Shion...n-n-no...
Nephilim:
--floats over to Shion and stares at her for a few moments--
Hmm...that's odd...
chaos: --walks over to join Nephilim--
What?
Nephilim: Shion isn't dead.
KOS-MOS:
Incorrect. My scanners indicate exactly 0 percent of necessary
biological functions currently operating. The Shion unit has stopped
responding.
Nephilim: True, her body seems to be dead, but
what makes her who she is...her essence...is still in her body. If
she was really dead, the essence would have left long ago.
Allen:
Sh-Shion is...al-live!
KOS-MOS: --eyes turn red as she
walks up right in front of Nephilim-- Do not give him false
hope.
Nephilim: I know what I am talking about.
chaos:
She's...she's right! Shion isn't dead!
Nephilim: --waves
her hand gently over Shion's face-- Awaken, child.
--Shion slowly opens her eyes and groggily looks around at everyone else. Allen hugs Shion harder and sheds a few tears.--
Shion:
Allen!
Allen: Shion! Oh Ch-cheif, I was so
w-worried that I l-lost you... --ends his
embrace-
Shion: --props herself up to a sitting position--
Oh, Allen...
Jr: --stumbles onto the bridge-- Yo! What
ya'll doin' here...and why is there a dancing kangaroo next to Shion!
KOS-MOS: --eyes turn red again-- How do I look like a
kangaroo? Are you trying to say I am obeese? This is as
slim as my body can handle with all of the weapons
inside of me! How dare you make such an insinuation!
Shion:
KOS-MOS! What has gotten into you!
KOS-MOS: --eyes
return to normal-- I apologize...it seems my emotional matrix is not
functioning properly.
Jr: A woman concerned about her
weight? Seems quite fine to me! HAHAHA! --laughs-
KOS-MOS:
--eyes turn red once again, as she pounces Jr and starts pounding on
him-- I WILL KILL YOU!
Nephilim: --stares at the carnage
for a moment, then nonchalantly turns to chaos-- Shion's condition
worries me. I must go check on something.
chaos: Wait...Are
you sure you have to?
Nephilim: It was inevitable. Do not
worry, we will see each other again. --starts disappearing-
chaos:
--reaches out-- Wait! Come back! You don't need to do this! --his
hand only catches air-
Shion: Nephilim...is she...in
danger?
chaos: --shakes his fist in anger-- She...she won't
survive...
--KOS-MOS stops beating on Jr to console chaos. Jr gets up and stretches, making a very unhealthy bone-cracking noise with each motion.--
Jr: Floating chick go bye-bye?
Well, I can always hit on Shelly...
Gaignun: Guess what
we're doing right now. --talks to Jr telepathically-
Jr:
Aw, --#$$# you Nigredo!
--Only a minute after Nephilim disappears, she reappears, but with a different outfit. Her gown has changed to a mexican-style poncho of the same colour and similiar design.--
Hammer: Uh, Nephilim?
Part 38
Nephilim: Yes, I am Nephilim. You are Hammer,
correct?
Hammer: Yeah...
chaos: Nephilim! Is
Nephilim OK?
Nephilim: Nephilim is fine.
Jr:
Wait...you just went to change clothes?
Nephilim: I always
wear this outfit when I am here.
chaos: How could I let
Nephilim go like that...she'll get herself killed!
Nephilim:
Nephilim knows how to handle herself. She has been doing this longer
then you and me combined.
Admiral Matthews: What's
with all this third person stuff?
Nephilim: Third
person...how amusing. Yes, you could say I am a third person.
Admiral
Matthews: More $#$#ing cryptic stuff! ARGHH! --storms out, and
yells from a distance as he walks away-- MORONS! THEY'RE ALL
MORONS!
Jr: --takes a deep breath, finally
regaining his senses-- OK, so shouldn't someone be stopping the
spread of the deadly gas?
KOS-MOS: --walks over to a nearby
panel and punches a few keys-- Done.
Jr: Ah great! Don't
want to kill ALL my brain cells before I'm in my 20s!
KOS-MOS:
You are in your 20s.
Jr: --scowls-- Well, even if
that was true, that would be my chronologistic age, not
my biofolical age!
KOS-MOS: It certainly seems that
way, especially for your mental development.
Jr: --nods--
Yeah...
Nephilim: --hovers over to Shion-- You are
Shion, correct?
Shion: Yes...we met before...
Nephilim:
You met Nephilim before, yes. Let us not dwell on that thought.
Shion, how are you feeling?
Shion: I feel fine.
Nephilim:
--circles Shion once, looking her over-- Hmm...do you understand the
use of "Ether"?
Shion: --nods-- Yes, of course. I
wouldn't have been able to assist in the construction of KOS-MOS
otherwise.
Nephilim: Please explain your understanding of
Ether.
Shion: Well...let me see..."Ether" is a
limited manifestation of will, and can be emulated through the use of
complex circuitry.
Nephilim: Well put...well put,
indeed...do you understand specifically how to emulate Ether?
Shion:
--sighs and looks down-- Kevin knew how...he was the one that placed
that ability into KOS-MOS. I...I could never really understand the
black boxes he left in KOS-MOS, even with intense reverse
engineering.
Nephilim: --turns to KOS-MOS-- Perhaps you
have an explaination.
KOS-MOS: I do, though I am curious as
to why you would wish to obtain this information, given that you,
yourself, already contain this knowledge. Additionally, I was
informed by chaos and others not to reveal my knowledge upon this
subject.
Nephilim: My own curiosity. At this point, it
doesn't really matter to whom the knowledge is made
available.
KOS-MOS: Very well...Ether power is supplied
through use of the Zohar.
Jr: Zohar!
Nephilim:
Yes...and where does the Zohar gain it's power?
KOS-MOS:
--stares silently at Nephilim for a moment-- Are you trying to
say...
Nephilim: --nods-- That is where Nephilim is
going.
chaos: Nephilim...
Jr: OK, I understand
exactly 0 percent of what you were talkin' about. WHAT THE
ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT!
Nephilim: Jr, try to use an
ability that relies on Ether power.
Jr: Fine! I think I
will! --tries to charge up, but only manages to slightly glow red--
Ehh? My powers...they're so weak! Did all the beatings I've
been taking today actually hurt me?
Ziggy:
You are not alone...I...I can't smell my powers anymore...that's
bad...
KOS-MOS: My Ether processing has declined
over 50#. What about you, Shion?
Shion: My
powers...they're...OK?
Jr: Huh!
Part 39
--Shion gently lays her hand on Jr and heals his scars brought about from the previous beatings. Afterwards, she almost falls over from the seeming strain of her endevour.--
Allen:
Shion! --rushes to her side-
chaos: It seems even Shion is
effected by this...
Nephilim: --nods-- Indeed.
Jr:
--pulls out his guns-- Enough! ENOUGH! Tell me what is going on NOW!
--aims his guns at Nephilim and chaos-
Nephilim: Though I
could try to explain this matter to you--
Jr: "You
would only truely understand it if and when you become like me."
Yeah yeah, I've heard it all before. You'd better give me something
better. --readies to fire-
chaos: Jr! Get ahold of
yourself!
Jr: Wrong answer.
--At the last second before pulling the trigger, Jr points his guns at angles offset to chaos and Nephilim's locations. One of the fired bullets lodges it'self in to the opposite wall, while the other richocets off at an angle and changes direction --- towards Shion's head. Shion braces herself for impact, holding out her hand as if to deny the bullet access to her person. Moments before impact, her hand starts glowing with an eerie light, and instead of the bullet going right through her hand, it is vaporized upon contact.--
chaos:
What the...
Jr: Holy #$#$! I-I didn't mean for it
to actually hit anybody! I AM SO
SORRY!
Hammer: Whoa dude!
Shion: D-did
I...did I d-do th-that?
chaos: --grins-- I think you
did...
Nephilim: This is...most disturbing.
--While Allen and KOS-MOS console Shion after her second brush with death for the day, chaos drags Nephilim aside to talk with her. Jr retreats to a corner, still obviously in shock that he almost accidentially killed one of his friends.--
chaos:
Disturbing...you don't think she's...one of us?
Nephilim:
Perhaps...and perhaps not. It seems tempting to make that analysis,
but with what has been going on back home, it is quite likely this is
all just a result of the coming wave of darkness.
chaos:
--nods-- I agree. I've been with Shion for a while now, and I am
fairly certain she is not like us.
Nephilim: Either way you
put it, quite disturbing.
Ziggy: She could be like Bunnie
--- his power was great. A worthy enemy indeed.
--chaos and Nephilim turn to stare at Ziggy, who has been standing beside them this whole time.--
chaos: Ziggy! What are you doing
here?
Ziggy: Discussing Shion's powers. I have a feeling
she knows the secret of Rainbow Sunshine. --makes a fist-- I just
wonder...does she know the planet's secret location as
well?
Nephilim: There is no--
chaos: --motions
for Nephilim to stop talking-- Leave it alone. Say, Ziggy, did you,
um, hear anything?
Ziggy: Did I hear what?
chaos:
The conversation me and Nephilim just had?
Ziggy: What
conversation?
chaos: So...you didn't hear a
conversation?
Ziggy: Yes, I did.
chaos: Oh? What
was in this conversation?
Ziggy: We are having a
conversation right now. it's about if I heard a conversation, I
believe.
chaos: --sighs-- Anything else?
Ziggy:
...What am I doing here?
chaos: Guess not.
Jr: --snaps out of his trance-- Wait a moment..."mental development"...hey...Hey...HEY...HEY! KOS-MOS, YOU DIE NOW!
--Jr pulls out his guns and fires a few shots at KOS-MOS, who deftly dodges the attack. Allen hides behind Shion, while chaos dashes behind Jr and wrestles his arms down.--
Jr: NOO! LET ME KILL HER!