Growing Together
Part 15
Summary: Sara develops a new routine during her time off.
A/N: Knock on wood, my PC works again. Let's hope that I'll be able to post properly again.
Xxxxx
"Aaarggghh!"
Sara threw her hands up in surrender. The chaos surrounding her had tripled in the last hour. Her whole living room was filled with her stuff; so full that she could barely walk.
Today was her second day off and she was finally sorting through all of her things. The plan was to pack everything up to be ready for the upcoming move. The house was now officially theirs and a date had been set for the move. They had chosen a day that Grissom had off and Sara was still on vacation. That left her ten days to pack up all of her stuff.
This morning had started out fine with her being organized, but as the day progressed, chaos was rapidly spreading. She had a lot of things that she wanted to get rid off – more than she had anticipated – and it was still too much to take with her. This was supposed to be a fresh start.
To get to everything better, she had been collecting everything in the living room. But now she felt overwhelmed by the flood of memories, and breathing seemed unnaturally hard. Sara fled to her bedroom, which was not nearly as cluttered, hoping that that would ease her breathing.
Once she was feeling better, the rational part of her mind kicked in. Out there were just things. Okay, they were things with a lot of memories attached, but memories are part of the past. She had to focus on what was to come. Her future with Grissom was worth it. She was doing this for a better future for herself – free of the burden of the past – and for them. The pain she was feeling now would be small compared to what would build up if she didn't do anything. It would only get worse. Sara wanted to prove that she was strong enough to do this.
She went to the bedroom window, opened it, and then went out into the living room again, leaving the door open. The way to the living room windows was much more difficult, but once she opened them too, she felt like she could breathe easier.
With a renewed motivation, Sara went to work again.
xxxxx
The next few days flew by and she slowly managed the chaos in her apartment. Everyday, she continued to work through the masses until about four in the evening. At four she left the chaos behind and drove over to Grissom's house. In the spirit of the upcoming move, he had given her the keys.
She would enter quietly and make her way to the kitchen to prepare some food. This was a time she looked forward to. Usually she didn't feel any satisfaction from doing household chores, but it was a welcome distraction these days. The order and silence of the situation made her feel relaxed again, and when Grissom woke up, they could just be together.
Of course she missed work – especially working with Grissom – but her leave didn't feel as forced as in the past.
The day before she had left her apartment early to visit her therapist, and tomorrow she would be meeting Nick and Greg for breakfast. She was determined to not only use this vacation to move but to also work on her list. Her days were planned out and although she regretted the fact that she wouldn't be able to get out of the city, she felt she was at last moving forward. She was doing something.
Sara was just finishing her preparations, ready to put her creation in the oven to brown, when she heard soft footsteps behind her. "Sleep well?"
"Hmmm!"
Sara had to smile at his grumpiness. By now, she was used to it. She turned around and placed a cup of coffee on the breakfast bar.
Grissom took a sip, soaking up the warmth of the coffee. It helped him to wake up and get into the right mood. "How was your day?"
"I got a lot of things done. I'm making real progress now."
Sara turned back towards the stove to get the rest of their meal. When everything was set, she moved around the counter to sit next to Grissom.
"Morning." Sara leaned over and kissed him, making him smile for the first time that day.
"Morning."
The best thing about their current arrangement was that they had enough time to spend their breakfast in a relaxed silence. Sara didn't ask him about work, knowing she'd be too tempted to end her vacation. It was hard since work was such a big part of their life, but the changes gave them enough other things to talk about. For now, it seemed perfect. They were focusing on themselves – as individuals and as a couple – and on the move.
They finished eating and Sara was about to get up, but Grissom held her back. "Sara, there's something I've got to tell you."
His carefully chosen words made her heart beat faster. She tried not to read too much into it, but his tentativeness made her nervous.
"Buying a house is a huge step and I know this is a sensitive subject, but I called my mother and told her about us." Grissom paused and waited for her reaction.
Sara was a bit shocked at first, wondering why he hadn't told her that before. It seemed like such a big thing to keep from her, but then she remembered something else he had said. Family was indeed a sensitive topic for her. Maybe he hadn't wanted to rub it in that he was able to call his mother to share the good news when she had no one.
It hurt her, she couldn't deny that, but she was glad that Grissom had his mother to talk to. On the other hand, she was honored that he was talking about her, excited that this was serious enough to call his mother and scared what she might think of her.
Well, if she just sat there and said nothing, she would never find out. "Grissom, just because I'm not in a position to talk to my family doesn't mean that you have to do without."
He seemed relieved that she wasn't reacting negatively. "Now, there's something else."
Just when she thought she could relax again, Grissom surprised her again. She had to swallow hard, hoping that it wasn't what she feared. It was.
"My mother wants to meet you. She wants to help us when we're moving."
When he saw her blank look, he paused a bit before he corrected himself. "But only if it's okay with you. We can wait. It doesn't have to be now. If you don't want to, just tell me."
This was not something she could decide right now. He had sprung this on her so unexpectedly that she didn't know what to think. There were some things she needed to know first. "I'm not sure. Why does she want to come now?"
"I told her about you before we were together, but now that we bought a house…I've never made a commitment like that."
Neither had she, and meeting the mother of the man she would be living with would also be a first. "Do you think it's wise for her to visit us amidst all of this chaos?"
She was trying to stay as calm as possible and to go about it as rationally as possible. Grissom was obviously close to his mother. She had to tread carefully.
"I don't know."
At least he was honest. "Do you want her to visit now?"
"I would like her to meet you. And I want her to see how good this, you, are for me."
The information was vague, but if she pieced it together correctly, then he wanted something like her blessing before they 'finalized' their relationship.
"You want her to come." If this was what he wanted, then she would do it for him.
Grissom nodded, hanging his head as if he was ashamed of his wish. "Grissom, I want to meet your mother, and we can do it now."
She needed to feel him as an affirmation that he was really there. She reached out and let her hands wander to the back of his neck. Her thumbs were first massaging the sides of his neck before she exerted a little pressure to make him look up.
"We're in this together and I want to meet your mother." She tried to give him her brightest smile and although it fell a little bit short, it was still convincing enough for Grissom to return it.
"You can call her and tell her I'll be glad to meet her."
"Thank you."
They remained quiet for a moment, each needing to process what had just been discussed. Sara was not the first to recover, but the first who needed to work it off. Her mind worked better that way.
She stood up and started to clean up the remnants of their meal, silently considering if there would ever be a time where their life would settle down. Would they find that place where they didn't need to think about everything twice?
She could only hope so.
TBC