Chapter Trigger Warnings: Implied Sexual Assault, Dubious Consent, Torture

Chapter 117:

Waking Up, Falling Short

The newest headmaster strode through the halls. Students had always made way for him, but now, even more so. It was both welcoming and unsettling. He couldn't help but dislike the looks of terror that slid over awake students' faces as he entered the Hospital Wing.

"Severus. What can I do for you?" inquired Madame Pomfrey as she approached her colleague, wiping her hands on her apron.

"Is the girl awake?"

"I believe so."

He gave a curt nod before turning into her office and through the side panel. Snape rapped sharply on the door before entering.

She was propped up, reading. She startled upon seeing him.

"Professor. I didn't…can I help you?"

"Draco. Where is he?"

"I don't know, Sir. Class, I suppose."

"Is he doing well?"

"In his classes, I don't know, Sir."

"And otherwise?"

"He's fine, Sir. Doing as well as can be expected."

Snape regarded her carefully as she answered.

"Sir? All due respect, but why seek me out and ask?"

"I believe he confides in you more than me."

To that, she didn't have a response. At one time, it would most definitely not have been true. But since last year…

"I am…happy he has you. He needs someone."

"Sir? He does still lookup to you and values your opinion. I know he does. You're still his godfather, Sir."

He nodded curtly.

"Have you heard from her?"

Draco shook his head briefly at his peer…his friend. "No, I can't let you see her."

"But just to – "

" – no. Absolutely not."

"Malfoy, just to – "

" – no! Absolutely not. You know better. She's in more danger than ever; even in a confined, mostly–secret hospital wing room, she's in danger. Drawing attention to her location isn't exactly a smart move. Surely you know this by now."

Carefully, he nodded. "Sorry. I'm just worried."

"You act as if I haven't a care for her at all, Nott! Why do you think I'm stopping this? Don't you think I have enough on my plate without her adding to it?"

"Do you blame her for it?"

Draco's head snapped up. "What? No! Not…anymore, at least. I know this isn't her fault."

Theo breathed a deep, if mostly internal, sigh of relief at his friend's answer.

"Is she doing okay?"

Slowly, Draco shook his head. "Not sure, to be honest. It's been hard to get a read."

"Even for you?"

"Even for me. Especially with how much my father's been…making use of her."

Nott winced. "That bad?"

"Unfortunately. Though from what Ariella's told me…what she's been able to stomach telling me, it isn't as bad as we're picturing."

"You know, those words are not as…comforting as you think they might be."

"I didn't think they would be, per say. Still thought you should hear them."

"Right," Theo paused. "Think he would lend – "

" – no. Not after the Polyjuice incident."

"Thought so."

Both boys tensed as voices grew louder from the stairway. Sure enough, the doorway was pushed open within moments.

"Look who I found. Think he even needs us anymore, Crabbe?" Goyle asked.

"I don't think so. Not too good for us now, is he?" Crabbe replied, his tone just as smug as his counterpart.

Nott just rolled his eyes and pulled the curtain around his bed. Draco, however, kept his gaze evenly on his former lackies as they crossed to their respective beds.

Bloody hell. Now this?

"Sir?"

There was no response.

Carefully, she began to open the curtain around his bed.

"Sir?"

She stiffened as this time, a wand pointed before he was even conscious of his movements. Draco's grey eyes snapped open and he sat up rigidly, lowering the wand as he realized who had startled him, and the lack of threat she posed.

"Ariella? What are you doing here?" Slowly, he sat up fully and rubbed at his eyes.

"They released me."

His eyes snapped up. "What? Without me there?"

"Er – yes? Why? Did you request that?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I?"

She exhaled slowly and Draco finally took the time to actually look her over.

"How do you feel?"

"Fine, Sir. No worse than usual."

He wasn't convinced, but also knew she wasn't…couldn't…lie to him.

"Why'd you come here? Especially at this hour?"

"At this hour? Dra – Sir, it's nine in the morning. I'm lucky none of your roommates are here. And I – I figured this was the quickest way – without using the bond – to find you."

"It's nine?" he choked out, casting a quick spell to confirm as he frantically grabbed for a fresh set of clothing. "Shit! I – I needed to have been with – "

" – then blame me."

His gaze snapped up to her again. "Are you mad? You'll end up right back in the Hospital Wing."

"And how is it better if you end up there? Sir."

He didn't have an answer; therefore, he just shook his head gently and continued dressing.

"You can sit, if you like," he said simply, as he noticed her leaning against the bedpost. Then he looked again. "Do you need something from me?"

"I can't tell," she admitted. "It does feel off, but for which part, I can't tell anymore. Lately, it's been harder to read the signals."

He simply gave a curt nod in reply. "Right. Well, I can't take care of it now, I'm afraid. I'm already late for my meeting."

"Do you want me coming with you?"

"No. Absolutely not. If they require…if I end up requiring you, I'll summon you."

"Promise? Sir."

Draco stopped short, raising his head from fastening his robes. "Ariella, I can't – "

" – Sir, please. I know the dangers. And I'm grateful you don't want me in them. But this is war. You can't keep hiding me away. Especially given what I am…or am not. Please."

Reaching for his bag and tucking away his wand, Draco contemplated it for a moment.

"We'll talk later. But if I need you today, then yes; I'll summon you," he acquiesced, albeit reluctantly. With a hard swallow and a steadying breath, he turned his back on her and swiftly left for what was sure to be an insufferable and painful meeting.

Ariella didn't bother moving beyond pulling the curtain closed around the bed, just in case. She knew it might be dangerous, but nowhere; even "her" room, was truly safe; to be honest, she couldn't face going back to the solitary right now. She was hesitant, especially given everything and all that was going on. The last thing she wanted was to add to his plate, to add to his stress. But what choice did she have?

When others weren't around, she tried to tidy up his space a bit more, but Draco already kept most things relatively neat, which left her feeling rather useless.

Sitting back on the end of his bed, Ariella once more leaned against the bed post. She was still weak, tired. But she wouldn't dare actually take his bed, certainly not with this classmates in and out. So she simply sat back and opened the book she had been reading lately.

She tried to tune everything out, passing in and out of full consciousness. It was hard to tell how much time had passed when the curtains were opened with a snap and for the second time that day, she found her master's wand pointed directly at her, his posture rigid.

She wasn't sure to be relieved or not when he visibly, if only marginally, relaxed at her presence.

"What are you still doing here?"

"I wasn't sure where else to go. Especially with – Sir, what happened?" she asked, interrupting herself as she finally looked at her master; as he began stripping his robes and sweat–soaked clothing.

"Don't worry about it. Go on," he prompted, choosing not to comment on how she looked away. He wasn't sure whether to be worried, grateful, or both.

"Were you able to figure out what you need from the bond right now?"

"I'm still not sure. But I can tell it's been flaring up. I – I think I need to…I think, with all of the…borrowing – "

" – stop," he cut off her anxious explanation, his voice sharper than intended. "I understand. We can't go to the Room of Requirement, for obvious reasons. I certainly don't want to do it in here."

"The other room."

"You – you're sure? I don't want to take away what safety you may have."

"Yes. Is anywhere safe anymore, Sir?"

He snorted in response. "No, I suppose not. What are you doing the rest of today; tonight?"

"Attending to you unless summoned, Sir. You?"

"It can wait."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm…glad you told me."

She gave a jerky nod to show she had heard him, but kept her gaze away until she felt him sit down on the bed with her.

"This…new layer of demands is now our reality. The bond has always been our reality. It's best we don't ignore it; especially now."

"Dra – Sir, are you sure – ?"

" – yes. Now let's go," he replied simply, going behind his bed to open the secret passage. Thanks to it, it didn't take them long to get to more privacy. He was quick to lock the door behind them. He noticed how she stood stiffy, waiting for him.

"You can call me by name when we're in here. And yes, I'm sure about this. Now come here."

Ariella walked the short distance to her master, before kneeling before him.

"Thank you for pro – for properly claiming me, for – for properly putting me in my place again, Sir."

Draco tensed, but replied firmly and dutifully nonetheless, "I accept."

Shakily, Ariella raised her hands to his waistband, slowly unclasping his buckle and trousers. He helped her to remove them, then made sure to stand still as he could as she began to run her hand up and down his length, before taking him into her mouth.

It felt wrong. So wrong. But he knew she had to at least try. There was only so much they could try…that he was wiling to try. So he brought a hand to her head, helping to gently guide her. He closed his eyes and tried, desperately, to imagine someone else.

Suddenly, he felt hands pushing at his hips. He stumbled back, but maintained his balance as Ariella fell forward onto all fours, coughing and spluttering.

"I'm sorry, Sir."

"It's alright. I'm not angry. Go lay on the bed."

He wanted to tell her it wasn't her fault. That he didn't want this, wasn't demanding it; at least directly. But he couldn't risk it. So he said nothing. It was bad enough the bond could "read" thoughts and emotions.

Draco walked over to the bed. "Can I continue?"

"Ye – yeah. Yes, Sir. Of course. Please…just do it."

Draco stiffened, before helping to remove her worn trousers and knickers, tossing them aside to join his on the floor. He carefully braced himself over her and made sure she was as…comfortable as possible. Then he swiftly entered her, feeling guilty as she bit her lip in pain. He pressed on, knowing he had to.

But this time, try as he might, he just couldn't seem to become more aroused, and given how she had been feeling lately…what she had been subjugated to lately, he didn't want to cast yet another spell unless he had to. Sighing softly, he pulled out.

"Sir?"

"I'm going to wash. Then you can do the same."

As he walked away, expression unreadable, she felt the bond flare up. It hadn't been enough. Worst still, she hadn't pleased him. As much as she may not have wanted this, that didn't mean she wanted to…upset him, to leave him un…pleased, for lack of a better term.

She didn't move. She didn't dare.

Draco froze as he came from the loo, noticing her stillness. He crossed towards the dresser, speaking as he went.

"Are you alright?"

She shook her head. A frown creased Draco's brow. "Ariella? What's wrong?"

"I don't think it worked. I didn't serve you well enough."

"Damn it!" he shouted, his fist slamming against the dresser as realization sunk in. "I'm sorry," he continued, his voice gentler, especially when he caught her flinch.

He took a seat on the bed next to her still–prone body and pressed into the bond. She was right. He cursed again.

"Draco. I need…I don't know what I need, to be honest. But I need more, that's for certain, Sir."

"Right. Of course you do. What do you feel comfortable with right now?"

"Whatever you need me to do, Sir."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Draco, please. Don't coddle me."

"I'm not; I'm trying to ensure you're not going to pass out on me. Or end up in the Hospital Wing after just one day out."

"Is there…something you need me to do for you? Specifically?"

"No. nothing specific."

"Will you punish me then?"

He looked at her more seriously then. "I know you need more, but…"

"…it wants even more now, specifically for – for not – "

Draco sighed, finishing her thought. " – for not pleasing me…pleasuring me properly."

She flushed a bit, but still refused to meet his searching gaze, even as she nodded in confirmation.

"How much pain are you in right now?"

"It's not bad. I can take more. Will you?"

"I didn't ask if you could take more. I asked how much pain you were in."

"Please, Draco. I need to do something right now. Whether it's punishment or some other form of service."

"Fine. Get against the wall."

He could not believe he was about to do this.

"Take off the rest of your clothes and brace yourself."

Ariella, strangely enough, felt the wall – the castle – provide grips for her hands. How useful. She obeyed.

Draco stood almost directly behind her. He felt horrid for what he was about to do. Carefully, he raised his wand, placing the tip against one of the shallower scars. Swallowing hard, he carefully reopened it.

He saw her clench the grips tighter. He continued, doing the best he could to keep it as shallow as possible, to keep it as clean as possible. He chose another, right next to it, and repeated the action. He heard her gasp out and shudder under his actions, watched as blood began to seep and drip. He regretted washing himself off earlier, even if it was only a perfunctory wash.

He did it twice more, before wiping his wand off on the towel around his waist. "Ariella? We're done for now. Would you like to wash?"

"N – no, Sir. I – I can't."

He could hear the pain, the tears, in her voice. "Let's get you back to the bed down. Here: lean on me however you need to."

Carefully, he helped her unclench his fingers from the grips and over to the bed.

"Easy. I can't heal you now; it would defeat the purpose of the punishment."

" 'course, Sir. I understand."

"I'll wipe them down though. That, at least, I can do. Do you feel any better?"

"It's hard to tell, Sir."

He stayed quiet as he summoned a damp washcloth and helped her to lie down.

"Draco?"

"Yes? And don't you dare apologize; at least not for this. This is not your fault."

"Yes, Sir. I – thank you."

"Are you okay? I know it's been getting worse for you."

"I can handle it."

"That isn't what I asked. Sir," she replied easily, echoing his words from earlier. Even though she couldn't see, he shook his head at the repetition; he could appreciate it coming from her.

"I'll let you know if and when you can help. But you can't. Not right now. In fact, you are serving me in just the right way," he said, careful of his wording. He was truthful and didn't want her to worry, but he also hoped this might calm the bond. He could even feel her breathe a little easier. That certainly helped him.

"Stay here for now. No need for any more trouble or attention."

She turned her head to the side.

"Thank you," she said softly, pausing to adjust her position. "Is Theo doing okay?"

"Hmm? Oh. Er – yes. He's fine. Worried about you."

"Will you allow him to visit?"

"While you're here, of course. I couldn't risk it while you were in the hospital wing."

"I understand."

"Would it help if I gave him permission to help with your wounds?"

Frantically, as much as the position would allow, she shook her head. "Please don't. I don't want him seeing unless he has to. I know that puts more on you, and I – "

" – I don't mind. I just wanted to extend his offer."

Draco was partially relieved he wouldn't have to further involve their friend, at least for now. And yet…he could see how scared she was, even now, that Nott was still going to leave if he realized the extent of what was occurring. If he really thought about it, even he was a bit scared of that. Friends were a…luxury Malfoys didn't have, or so he had been taught.

"Get some rest. I'll let Nott visit shortly when it's safe to do so. And I'll check again on these tomorrow. Try to stay here," he instructed, knowing enough by now to ensure there was flexibility in those instructions in case of an emergency or a summons.

"Thank you, Draco. Are you sure I can't do anything for you? Take something off your plate?"

"Rest. Right now, that's what you can do for me. I'm going to wash again. Let me know if I need to – "

" – I will," she promised with a melancholy smile. He gave a stiff nod in return.

Rising, he pulled the blanket up to cover her half-way, still allowing the scars to air. He watched as she adjusted her body and tried to settle further into the bed.

Returning to the loo, he turned the water as hot as it would go. If asked, it would be hard to say how long he stayed, as he tried to scrub and wash away the blood, the grime – the dirtiness of their current, ugly truth away.