The Search Is Over,
Chapter 142, The Crow on the Cradle
There were a few experiences in life that could be compared to none other. Falling in love, feeling you were about to die, and becoming a parent. Regulus and Kreacher had both experienced the first two, yet were somehow still unprepared for the awe inspiring terror of the third. They spent the next several months stocking up on pink and blue baby clothes as well as anything else two children may need for their first several years of life. Though it may seem odd to some that they bought as many toys, various clothing sizes and items of furniture required for growing children so far in advance, they had a very good reason. It saved them the trouble of shopping with small children in tow later.
When Gergana reached her ninth month, Kreacher and Regulus truly felt the nervousness kick in. . .happen! When the children arrived their lives would change forever.
"Surely even in ways we can't imagine," Regulus said.
He was trying not to panic. They sat by the fire together in the library just after midnight.
Gergana was on the first week of her ninth month. The children had made it this far, so it was looking more than likely that all would be well. As the glee over this rose for Kreacher and Regulus, also rose the terror, though admittedly Kreacher was doing a far better job of hiding it. Regulus showed his terror with dignity and subtlety, frowning and fretting over it at any spare moment. He couldn't help it. His mind just kept returning to the high mental precipice of unknowns.
"We should've asked the parents about that, you know."
"About...which bit," Kreacher asked, blinking slowly as he struggled to follow.
Usually he followed the track of Regulus's mind effortlessly, but these days, being caught up in his own concerns, it was a bit more tricky to follow when Regulus jumped from one thing to another.
"We should've asked Mum and Father how their lives changed when they had children. Precisely in which areas, and how they kept things balanced...you know," Regulus clarified.
Kreacher slowly blinked again.
"Our lives are not their lives, so likely enough of the changes we encounter shall be different," he observed and Regulus sighed, nodding.
"Of course, you are right. I must sound quite the fool...I feel quite the fool."
Kreacher shook his head, reaching to cover Regulus's hand with his own.
"Oh never that," he assured.
Regulus gave a nervous laugh.
While it sounded odd to Kreacher's ears, it also mirrored his own unique feeling of nervousness. When the children were born, and the two got their parenting feet wet as it were, he was certain the nervousness would fade quickly. The wonder of the children and watching them grow would provide a new and exciting adventure for them.
"That is a relief, as a fool makes for a poor father," Regulus said.
"It isn't about not making mistakes, though of course as parents we do not wish to make mistakes, which is only natural," Kreacher murmured, speaking his thoughts aloud as he always did with Regulus, just as Regulus always did with him.
Regulus turned his hand over to twine his fingers with Kreacher's as he gave a slightly distracted nod of understanding.
"Father feels his decision that we all kill Voldemort was a foolish one, a mistake if you will, but at the time it made sense. It needed to be done, no matter that we failed to do it due to our lack of knowledge when it came to Horcruxes."
He sighed.
"It's natural to shun that which we find to be abhorrent, but if we studied it more, we could be ready for...for things like Voldemort. I speak of WE as a general statement to encompass wizards in general."
Kreacher nodded slightly, indicating his understanding of Regulus's words though his eyes were distant as his mind recalled that moment in their past.
"A decision isn't foolish simply because it didn't turn out as we hoped due to a lack of knowledge," he said.
As he spoke, the elf knew he referred to not only his Master Orion, but himself and Regulus and the Lestranges...everyone.
Regulus gave a sad chuckle, and the tormented expression that twisted his mouth so that it wasn't quite smiling in spite of the laugh twisted Kreacher's heart.
"I can't help but think of mine as foolish. Believing for whatever reason that keeping away when I didn't hear back from you was best. Mother died, you were at the hands of Sirius, and all because I bloody wanted to protect you! I swear even with that potion out of me, there are times that I simply can't resolve myself to the stupidity and irony of that!"
"But Master Regulus must," Kreacher insisted.
"He must so that we may be whole again. He must understand that!"
Regulus nodded silently, indicating that he did understand that as his hand tightened on Kreacher's, clinging nearly desperately.
Wanting...needing to give of himself, Kreacher drew his hand away only to take Regulus into his arms.
"Master Regulus must," he whispered against Regulus's soft black tresses.
"He must forgive himself if he forgives everyone else and he must move past this. Kreacher will help him."
As he spoke, he trailed his lips across Regulus's cheek, claiming his mouth before the man could speak either to agree or to object.
It was three and a half weeks later when the howler came from Bera Karkaroff, late in the evening on a Wednesday.
" THE TWINS ARE COMING. THE HEALERS HAVE BEEN SENT FOR SO YOU SHOULD COME NOW AS WELL!"
Regulus felt his heart leap with excitement. Finally! At last they would look into the faces of their children! Their precious little babies, such a charming and thrilling concept, were about to become a reality. Of course for Gergana, they'd been a reality for the past nine months, but as Kreacher and Regulus were unable to see them or feel them, they were a mere concept in many ways until now.
Hand in hand the two apparated to Durmstrang at once. Bera and Albus were waiting for them at the entrance, and Bera gave them both an excited hug.
"Oh I am so excited for both of you! I can't vait to see how they look! I know they will be the most adorable little things to ever exist."
At her words, Regulus felt an unexpected pang as he wished his mother could be there to see them as well. Pureblood squared as a concept was Walburga's brainchild, after all.
"Thank you for all that you have done for us in this," Regulus told Bera, embracing her in return.
"But of course. I vas glad to help," Bera said.
"Besides, Gergana is a money grubbing little hellcat, so it was nice to see a way to help her make a bit of gold to keep her from asking me for any."
She winked.
Albus chuckled, glancing fondly at his wife.
"We can certainly bond when it comes to family issues as you can see," he remarked cheerfully to Regulus and Kreacher.
Regulus smiled.
"That is always nice," he said honestly.
He had plenty of his own family issues, after all, and all of them had been named Sirius.
The group hurried to the infirmary with Albus and Bera in the lead. Gara and Grub were already at work with Gergana comfortably situated on a bed. A curtain was snugly drawn around it to provide privacy for her while allowing the parents to be present. Regulus and Kreacher stood clasping hands, eyes on the green curtain that hid the bed on which their children would come into the world.
"How is Gergana feeling," Kreacher called.
"She is fine," Gergana answered cheerfully, chuckling.
"It doesn't even hurt that much. Surely in part because these marvelous healers are doing their job properly, but likely also in part because these babies are smaller than average."
Of course they were going to be smaller, and that was one of the reasons Regulus was so terrified. Babies were fragile little things as it was and his would be smaller than most, so what if he broke one...or both! Of course he'd be careful and that wouldn't happen, and of course Kreacher would be there helping as well, but the terror of a dreadful mishap, illogical though it was, was nonetheless quite real. Kreacher hadn't ever taken care of a baby either. When Sirius and Regulus were born, Walburga attended to them directly, only allowing Kreacher to assist in some matters from the side, preparing baths, fresh clothing and such.
"Is it alright if Albus and I vait vith Kreacher and Regulus, Gergana," Bera asked her cousin.
"Sure," Gergana said.
"I don't care."
"It shouldn't be long now," Gara's voice came from behind the curtain.
"How long," Regulus asked, so excited and terrified he felt he may panic if it didn't happen soon.
"Let's say within the half hour," Gara replied after a second of hesitation.
"Alright then," Bera said in a business like tone as she turned to Regulus and Kreacher.
"Ve must talk to keep your minds occupied until the big moment."
Regulus was more than glad that she and Albus had chosen to remain with them.
He nodded as Kreacher's grip tightened on his hand. This was really happening. How surreal yet entirely wonderful it all felt.
"Vhat vill you do when you bring the baby's home," Bera asked.
"WE..." Regulus turned to stare at Kreacher, who stared back.
They'd thought so far into the future, yet not to the first night.
"We will," Kreacher began slowly.
"Well there is the feeding, and the changing, Kreacher supposes."
"Yes," Regulus agreed hastily.
"All that. And I shall sing to them. I have read that music is good for babies."
"Just please nothing about fallen angels or generally being depressed," Kreacher said and Regulus frowned.
"Obviously not."
Before more could be said, a tiny cry came from behind the curtain. That truly had been fast! Grub pushed aside the green fabric to present Regulus and Kreacher with a tiny naked child who had Regulus's black hair and Kreacher's round blue eyes.
"The boy came first," he said.
"Can you teach us how to properly hold him," Regulus asked, feeling his terror growing along with his love in leaps and bounds as he regarded the child.
His ears were those of an elf as were his eyes, and he had Kreacher's nose as well as his long thin fingers. His hands were already reaching out, grasping toward Kreacher and Regulus as if he already knew them.
His mouth opened in a defiant scream and Kreacher hastily took him from Grub, mimicking the way the goblin had supported his head.
"There now, Loughness," the elf crooned.
He snuggled the baby close and the cries grew softer until they were silent.
"And here's your girl," Gara said, emerging from behind the curtain to present Regulus with his daughter.
"Hydra," Regulus breathed, taking the child into hands that he prayed weren't shaking. She was so tiny...so very small! She filled his two hands. He could hear her tiny eager breaths as she gazed up from Gara to him with round liquid blue eyes. Calmer than her twin, she took everything in with a thoughtful expression. The twins looked identical with human shaped faces save for Kreacher's nose, round blue eyes and pointed ears. The rest of their face structure was human, and much like Regulus's own. Both had heads of thick silky black hair and they were beautiful.
Regulus didn't notice that he was crying until he saw the tears in Kreacher's eyes. This moment was almost too much, and it was wonderful.
"They are precious," Bera breathed, and he nodded, drawing in a deep breath.
"They truly are."
As he held Hydra to his chest, he began to hum. Relaxed by his song, her eyes drifted closed. He hummed the song to her for nearly half a minute before realizing what it was. It wasn't likely one that Kreacher would approve for singing to children for it was grim and dire. It spoke of the dark life of a child when war hung imminent over his or her head. In the song a crow sat on the cradle of the baby singing dire prophesies, but it was stuck in Regulus's mind as firmly as a basilisk fang was stuck into a Horcrux to end its life.
Regulus didn't want his babies to grow up merely to die in some war. That was all over though. So why did he feel such a dark strange dread suddenly clutching at his heart.
"The crow on the cradle, what can we do
Ah, this is a thing that I`ll leave up to you."
Regulus hadn't realized he'd been singing the words aloud until Hydra opened her eyes and reached up to touch his face as if to comfort him.
(Dear Reader,
The cheerful little ditty Regulus is singing to his children foretells what is to come and it's called The Crow on the Cradle, by Jackson Browne.)