Chapter 3: The Caged Princess
Monday, February 27, 2017, Yukiko's POV
As the interview continued, we asked Yagami-san some questions about her professional experience, from the courses she took in college to the jobs she worked. I occasionally got to ask questions or make comments, but Mother had made it clear she was in charge of the interviews for the Assistant Manager position, so she took the lead in the conversation. Our family was very much a traditional family, even though the head was my mother, rather than my father.
My parents were stricter than most, since they set high expectations for me and had no tolerance for disobedience or disrespect. Despite that, in some situations, they were willing to let me make my own mistakes and learn from the consequences. For example, while they would immediately stop me if they saw me mishandling a knife, lest I cut myself, they would let me add a little too much spice to a dish I was making for myself so I could learn from that mistake. Even though Mother had opposed my relationship with Yagami-san, she'd refused to intervene, in part out of a belief that it would fizzle out and the heartache would teach me a harsh but valuable lesson.
However, while Mother wanted me to learn about holding interviews, she made it clear that she would decide who to hire. She was still my mother, and hadn't handed over the inn to me, so she still had the final say.
I once again reminded myself that this was the path I had chosen. By choosing to stay with my family and inherit the inn, I had also chosen to submit to my mother's wishes when necessary. I wasn't completely free, but inheriting the inn was still the best choice for me, even if it had taken me a while to decide on it.
Friday, May 20, 2011, After School
The day after we saved Kanji-kun, I was working on the bulletin board in the entrance of the school. While I couldn't reliably commit to extracurricular activities due to having to help out at the inn, I could spend a few minutes after school to make sure the board was well-maintained by posting announcements and tearing down unauthorized notices.
While I was working, a boy approached me for the same reason most boys bothered to talk to me. I didn't know his name, but I was fairly sure that he and I had never been in the same class.
"Hey, Yuki-chan," the boy said. "Would you please go out with me?"
I sighed. This was yet another boy who knew next to nothing about me but acted like we were already the best of friends, and assumed I reciprocated his feelings despite the fact that he'd done nothing to earn my love.
"Let's say I do go out with you," I said. "What do yo u suppose will happen next?"
"Huh?" the boy said. "What do you mean?"
"If you do become my boyfriend and eventually my husband, you'll have to marry into the Amagi family, I said, "which means you'll stay in Inaba for the rest of your life and work for me at the Amagi Inn."
"Stay here all my life?" the boy said. "I dunno about that. I kinda wanna move to the big city rather than live my life in the boonies."
"Well, that might be a non-issue," I said, "because if my parents disapprove of you, our relationship won't go anywhere. My family hasn't arranged marriages since my grandparents' generation, but there aren't many suitors who can meet their standards. You would have to prove yourself a good husband, someone who can be trusted with the business and of sound moral character."
"That's a pretty tall order," the boy said. "Isn't it enough that I love you?"
"Not necessarily," I said. "My family isn't against marrying for love, per se. Loving marriages are more stable than marriages without love, but love is meaningless unless both parties are willing to make sacrifices, share burdens and work together toward a common goal. You clearly have your own goals for the future, which is all well and good, but you haven't considered what it means to marry into my family or what you might have to give up in order to marry me. Besides, who said I even returned your feelings?"
The boy stammered and looked down at the ground.
"I'm sorry," the boy said. "Please forget I said anything."
The boy ran off, so ashamed of himself he didn't bother providing his name. He wasn't the last to ask me out, but this approach usually helped me ward off him and his kind.
Perhaps I wasn't alone feeling trapped in Inaba- I was just one of the few who was unwilling to admit it. But now that I did admit how I really felt, what was left for me to do?"
Sunday, May 22, 2011, Afternoon.
I asked Yagami-san to come with me to Yomenaido. Yagami-san wore a navy blue cardigan, a black ankle-length skirt and a white blouse. I wore my usual red dress, so we made for a nice color contrast.
While we were walking over, I told Yagami-san about the boy I'd encountered on Friday and how I'd dealt with him. Yagami-san was nothing if not calm, but the story got a chuckle out of her.
"That was quite impressive, Amagi-san," Yagami-san said. "You got him to give up on you without hurting his feelings. It's not about him, nor is it even about you; you simply told him the only realistic way a relationship between you would play out."
"Thank you," I said. "I never tried this strategy before, but it makes sense. Not many know who I really am or what it would mean to marry into my family."
"It's a bit like being a princess, right?" Yagami-san said.
"Exactly," I said. "Princesses grow up in extreme safety, comfort and luxury, but the rules are so strict they may as well be in prison."
"Have you ever tried to leave?" Yagami-san said.
I was left at a loss for words for a moment as we passed by a woman walking a dog. Almost unbidden, I thought of my Shadow's transformed appearance- that of a giant red bird in a golden cage- and recalled that the door to the cage was open.
"No," I said, "but I know that it won't fit with my family's plans- having me inherit the inn, marry a man and raise an heir. Since I never entertained the thought of leaving Inaba, my parents never tried to do anything to discourage me. It's a bit like being on a leash; you're allowed a certain amount of freedom as long as you don't try to run off."
"I can relate," Yagami-san said. "For much of my adolescence, my parents have left me to my own devices, but have made it clear that I'm not to do anything they wouldn't allow me to do under their supervision. Then again, they do obviously trust me, or else they'd have never agreed to leave me here for a year."
Yagami-san and I browsed the bookstore together, picking out a few books each. Yagami-san picked out one on office work, one on fishing and a few popular fiction books. I, however, bought some books on job licenses.
"Out of curiosity, Yagami-san," I said, "what course do you suppose your life will take after you go back home?"
"I'll have one year of high school left," Yagami-san said, "after which I'll go to college, major in business and work for some large company after I graduate."
"Is this what your parents expect of you?" I said. "Or is it something you came up with yourself?"
"A little bit of both," Yagami-san said. "My parents are relatively flexible when it comes to career choices as long as I can reliably make an honest living off of them. My goal is the sort of thing my parents would approve of, but I don't know what I'd do if they wouldn't."
It was clear that as confident as Yagami-san seemed, she hadn't gone so far as to rebel against her parents, whether she lacked the courage or desire. Whatever the case, she was still the person in whom I felt most comfortable confiding.
"There's actually a reason I brought this up," I said. "I've given it some thought and... I don't plan on inheriting the inn."
"I see," Yagami-san said. "Is that perhaps based on what your Shadow said?"
I paused a moment, not because of the question but by how nonchalant Yagami-san was about my decision to refuse to inherit my family's inn, the part I was born to play. I'd chosen to confide in her because she had no emotional attachment to the inn, but I'd expected her to be a bit more surprised.
"It was," I said. "The truth is, I feel as though I'm like a princess- my role and the course of my life determined by the family I was born into. Perhaps I will inherit the inn and wield all the powers the manager holds, but that doesn't mean I'm free."
"That's a reasonable assertion," Yagami-san said, "but what do you plan on doing?"
"I plan on studying for some job licenses," I said. "Unfortunately, that costs a lot of money- more than I have in my savings- and I can't tell Mother about it."
"Because you're worried what she would think?" Yagami-san said. "That's understandable, but I'm a bit worried striking out on your own will cause a rift between you."
"Maybe it will," I said, "but I feel this is something I must do. Do you know of any part-time jobs I could do discreetly?"
Yagami-san paused to think.
"There's a bulletin board down the street," Yagami-san said. "You could get a job making envelopes, or if you're good at English, you could become a translator."
"Then that's what I'll do," I said. "Thank you, Yagami-san."
"You're welcome, Amagi-san," Yagami-san said.
We finished shopping and paid for our books. After we left the store, I turned to Yagami-san.
"I'll be going home soon," I said, "but could you please keep what you discussed between us for now? Obviously, I don't want my parents to find out, but I'm not ready to tell the others in our group."
"My lips are sealed," Yagami-san said, "but why tell me first, rather than Satonaka-san?"
"As an outsider, I figured you would be more objective," I said. "You have no emotional attachment to Inaba or our inn, and no reason to push me toward a certain choice. As much as I trust Chie, I'm fairly sure she's planning on staying in Inaba, so she'd likely be biased toward convincing me to stay."
"Whatever your reasons may be, I'm glad you confided in me," Yagami-san said. "It's not often that an acquaintance of mine specifically chooses to confide in me."
"How about a friend?" I said.
"That works," Yagami-san said. "Feel free to talk to me whenever you want."
"I'll do just that," I said with a smile.
As frightening as the thought of opposing Mother and leaving my hometown forever seemed, I felt encouraged to know that I'd already taken the first steps. Still, I couldn't help but wonder whether my fear would fully abate, or if it would hold me back at the decisive moment.
Evening, Shizuka's POV
As I retired to my room for the evening, my mind went back to my conversation with Amagi-san.
While I had the freedom to choose my occupation, I was still following in my parents' footsteps in terms of my career. If I'd been born to a family that owned a business, my life would have likely turned out like Amagi-san's had.
Because I understood Amagi-san's situation, I could respect her courage. She was committed to blazing her own trail and making her own decisions. Her path would involve many risks as well as the opposition of those closest to her, but she wasn't willing to let those deter her. There was a chance she'd fail, things wouldn't go as she'd hoped, or she'd otherwise regret her decision, but she was making her own choices.
One thing was bothering me, though. Amagi-san was confident that this was the right course of action, but was uneasy about what her parents would think. Was this an understandable case of jitters about taking such a bold and risky decision that she was sure her parents would disapprove of, or was she having second thoughts? It was hard to tell.
For now, I decided I was overthinking this, and put this subject out of my mind until Amagi-san decided to confide in me more. Perhaps she would change her mind, whether because she thought it through or because she got cold feet, or she would otherwise revise her plans. Whatever the case, I wanted to help her think through her plans. It was the same as I helped Hanamura-kun with his loneliness and grieving for Konishi-senpai, as well as how I helped Satonaka-san with her feelings of insecurity and struggles to get over her jealousy of Satonaka-san, but was Amagi-san really of the same importance to me that the other two were?
While I was thinking, I got a call from Satonaka-san.
"Yagami speaking," I said as I picked up the phone.
"Hi, Yagami-san, it's me," Satonaka-san said. "Not a lot's going on now, but maybe we could go into the TV to train one of these days?"
"That's a good idea," I said. "Let's meet after class to discuss it with the others."
It was rather convenient to have four out of five of our members come from the same class, so we could easily meet in person. As for Kuma-san, his schedule was always clear and he didn't have a cell phone, so we just came in and visited him. Of course, if Tatsumi-kun joined us, he wasn't in our grade, let alone our class, so communicating would be a bit more complicated.
"Great," Satonaka-san said. "Anyway, I've got a question if you don't mind."
"Go ahead," I said.
"Well, I'm curious about something," Satonaka-san said. "Between Hanamura and Kuma, who'd you pick for a boyfriend?"
I paused to think. I knew what I wanted to say, so the only question was how to say it.
"Neither," I said. "Hanamura-kun isn't a bad guy, even if he has a tendency to put his foot in his mouth, but I'm not exactly into his type. Besides, he's still mourning Konishi-senpai, so he won't be available until he gets closure on her death. As for Kuma-san, I wouldn't be comfortable getting into a relationship with someone as simple-minded as him- I'd say Nanako-chan's more mature."
"So you're concerned about their feelings and how the relationship would work out," Satonaka-san said. "You're pretty nice, aren't you?"
"I'm glad you think so," I said, "but that's sort of an excuse. The truth is, I don't consider either one a potential romantic partner."
"Oh, I see," Satonaka-san said. "I guess you and Yukiko have that in common?"
"Really?" I said. "Do you mean..."
"Ah, never mind," Satonaka-san said. "I've got to get going. See you at school, Yagami-san!"
"Until then, Satonaka-san," I said, after which she hung up.
As I got off the phone, I let off a sigh of relief that Satonaka-san asked me to choose between Hanamura-kun and Kuma-san. The two had their flaws, but bringing them up was just an excuse I made to hide the real reason they weren't compatible with me- their gender.
My parents were surprisingly understanding when I confessed to being a lesbian. They weren't happy, but they said that as long as I didn't openly flaunt my sexuality and drag my reputation through the mud, they wouldn't complain.
Of course, as reasonable as they were, they knew the odds of my getting into a romantic relationship while I was still moving around was remote. Rather than pick a fight with me over my sexuality, they instead decided to let it pass.
As a result, coming to terms with my sexuality was relatively easy, but finding someone who accepted my sexuality and would choose me was not. I had to wonder- when would I be able to find someone I could talk with about being a lesbian, let alone someone who was also a lesbian herself?
Perhaps that time had come. Satonaka-san and Amagi-san had proven to be trustworthy friends so far, so I was certain I could confide in them. All I needed was the right opportunity.
Monday, February 27, 2017, Afternoon, Yukiko's POV
I wondered what would have happened if I'd brought one of the boys who asked me out home and introduced him to my parents. My best guess is he wouldn't have lasted ten minutes before Mother kicked him out and ordered him to stay away from me. Not all of them were devoid of social graces, but the kinds of people who'd ask out a girl like me on a whim would never meet my parents' standards.
The Amagi Challenge wasn't the only competition that attracted many competitors with no hope of winning. We'd received dozens of applications for this position, and many of the resumes- from those that weren't even filled out professionally to those from candidates without any relevant experience- went into the shredder. Only about ten of the candidates were worth interviewing over the phone, and fewer than half of those were invited in for an in-person interview.
When I looked at the interview that way, Yagami-san was doing remarkably well, especially considering my parents knew about our relationship, and could have discarded her application without even needing to bother with an excuse if they'd so desired. Of course, "remarkably well" wouldn't be enough- if she didn't impress my mother enough, all her efforts from the moment she submitted her application to the moment she arrived here would be for naught.
Author's Notes
Similar to Yu, Shizuka generally dresses nicely, with a relatively conservative style.
After Kanji shows up on the Midnight Channel, Yosuke calls to ask who you like better- Chie or Yukiko. Choosing "Both" gets you Understanding, "Neither" gets you Courage, and there's no reward for choosing a specific one. I had Chie ask Shizuka about the boys for a similar scene, and she'd get Understanding for her response.