Chapter 4: A Taste of Adulthood

Monday, February 27 2017, Yukiko's POV

The questions about Yagami-san's skillset continued.

"I'm curious about something, Yagami-san," Mother said. "How well can you cook?"

Father glanced at me, as if to say, "Not a word, Yukiko." For the most part, I'd remained silent, since I knew Yagami-san reasonably well- I understood her qualifications and was sure she could speak for herself. This time, it was clear that Mother was setting a trap and didn't want me to spill the beans.

"Reasonably well, ma'am," Yagami-san said. "I can cook a good variety of meals, and don't rely on convenience stores or takeout to keep myself or those living with me fed."

"I see," Mother said. "How would you say you compare to our chefs?"

"There is no comparison, ma'am," Yagami-san said. "The food I make is unworthy of being served at your inn, and it would be arrogant to compare my skills to those who have spent their lives mastering the culinary arts."

Mother smiled. Ordinarily, I would be reassured, but as a worker in a hospitality industry, Mother was capable of putting on a smile no matter how far from being happy she was or how difficult her guests were. Luckily, her response matched her expression.

"Excellent answer," Mother said. "You pass. I wanted to find someone who was honest about their skills but didn't try to oversell them. You will need to understand how the chefs do their work, but you don't need to know how to cook as well as they do. All you need to do is do your job well enough not to get in anyone else's way."

Even though I'd known this for some time, it was still a relief to hear. My cooking had come a long way from my high school days, but I was, at best, on par with an average housewife. I'd considered a few different careers, but I knew that becoming a chef wasn't within the realm of possibility. Yagami-san was the best cook I knew in my age group, but while she didn't consider herself anything special, she showed me the difference between our skills when our school held its training camp.

Thursday, June 16, 2011, Shizuka's POV

Not long after Tatsumi-kun came back to school, the school held its annual camping trip. Luckily for us, the weather was good, meaning that we wouldn't have to worry about being rained on or missing a Midnight Channel broadcast. Unfortunately, I was still a bit apprehensive about the trip, since I'd never gone to sleep without a roof over my head, or eaten anything that wasn't prepared with a microwave, stove or oven.

In order to prepare for the trip, I went to Junes with Amagi-san and Satonaka-san. We'd agreed to make curry, so I consulted the cookbook at the Dojima residence and brought a list of ingredients, at which point we split up to get what we needed.

"Have you ever made curry, Yagami-san?" Amagi-san said.

"A few times," I said, "but not on the equipment that we'd use out in the campground."

"It shouldn't be too different from using a stove," Satonaka-san said. "

I then looked at what Satonaka-san and Amagi-san had brought with them.

"Quite true," I said. "Inexperienced as I may be, I know that some of those things you have with you don't go in curry. Please put them back."

"All right," Satonaka-san said, and returned the products to the shelves.

"The curry doesn't have to be phenomenal," I said, "but considering that it's our only food for the evening, it should at least be edible. I doubt our cell phones can get reception in the mountains, let alone find a place willing to deliver, so if we can't make it properly, we'll go hungry."

"Yeesh, that's harsh," Satonaka-san said.

"That's probably why they're making us do this," Amagi-san said. "Giving us a taste of adulthood, in which we're responsible for our own successes and failures, from our jobs to cooking dinner."

I knew full well what Amagi-san was driving at, and judging by the knowing look Satonaka-san gave her, so did her best friend. It was a bit too early to expect Amagi-san to have her future plans figured out, let alone be able to make them a reality, but perhaps this trip could be an educational experience.

Friday, June 17, 2011, Afternoon

On the first evening of our camping trip, Amagi-san, Satonaka-san and I cooked the curry together. I was in charge of the cooking and gave directions, but having three pairs of hands made light work.

By the end, we could smell the curry as it finished cooking. Once it was finished and on the plates, I tasted it. The curry was spicy enough that you could feel it, but not too much that it would overwhelm you.

"How is it?" Amagi-san said.

"It's decent," I said, "although I'm hardly an unbiased opinion. Why not take a bite?"

Amagi-san had a bite. As her mouth closed around the spoon, her lips curled into a smile.

"It's amazing," Amagi-san said after swallowing her bite. "I'm not good with really spicy foods, but this turned out well."

We served our curry to Hanamura-kun, who cautiously took a bite. After chewing for a moment, he nodded in approval.

"It's not bad," Hanamura-kun said. "It's not up to the Amagi Inn's standards of quality, but it's probably better than anything Satonaka makes."

"That's because neither Yukiko nor I made it," Satonaka-san said. "Yagami-san did most of the work."

"Oh, is that right?" Hanamura-kun said. "Then thanks, Yagami."

"You're welcome," I said. "I often have to cook for myself, so if I mess up, I'll have two choices- eat a meal that tastes bad, or throw it out and try again."

"It sounds as though you're rather skilled," Amagi-san said.

"I'm nothing special," I said, "but I can follow a recipe without making mistakes. Some more advanced cooking recipes might be too complex for me to handle or involve ingredients that are too expensive, but I know enough to keep myself fed. Live on your own for long enough, and I'm sure you'll get it eventually."

While Nanako-chan wasn't much of a cook, that was to be expected at her age. I personally predicted that by the time she got to be my age, she'd put me to shame in the kitchen.

"Well, you made this awful camping trip a bit more tolerable," Hanamura-kun said, "so thanks for that. You'll make a good wife someday."

"Thanks," I said, hoping that Hanamura-kun didn't expect me to become his wife.

Satonaka-san shot Hanamura-kun a jealous glare, and before long, they were embroiled in one of their usual arguments. They got along surprisingly well considering how much they bickered, but I couldn't see them being a happy couple. For what it was worth, neither of them had much interest in the other, so I didn't have to worry about two of my friends having a nasty breakup, although I couldn't help but wonder who they did have feelings for.

Evening

Amagi-san, Satonaka-san and I settled into our tent together. It was good fortune that the three of us were in a tent together, rather than with Ohtani-san. Not only was she... plus-size, but she snored loudly, so either she wouldn't get any sleep, or we wouldn't.

"Thank you for your help, Yagami-san," Amagi-san said. "I don't think the curry would have turned out as well without your help."

"Not that Hanamura appreciated it all that much," Satonaka-san said. "I'm still kinda annoyed that he assumed my cooking would be bad... even if he was right."

"You'll get it eventually," I said. "Just practice a lot, follow the recipes, and don't try to improvise."

"Understood," Amagi-san said. "I hope I'll be at least able to do this on my own by the time you go back home."

"I'm sure you will," I said. "I'm neither a professional cook nor a culinary instructor, but you don't need either for what I'm about to do."

Amagi-san could potentially speak to the chefs working at her inn, but considering how busy they were, she probably felt bad taking away from their free time.

"Then again, I was kind of surprised that Yukiko didn't know what she was doing," Satonaka-san said.

"I guess it's another assumption people have about me," Amagi-san said. "Just because I work for an inn that has some of the finest cuisine in town doesn't mean I can cook. Mother is a very good cook, but she says she couldn't get a job at her own inn, not even if Grandmother was the one hiring her."

"Could have fooled me," Satonaka-san said. "I've only been over to your place a few times, but while it was an intimidating prospect, the food made everything worth it."

I let that pass without saying anything, assuming that it didn't have anything to do with me. Since I was only in town for a year, it was unlikely that I'd have cause to visit Amagi-san's inn, let alone her home.

"Anyway," Satonaka-san said. "I feel bad saying this, but I feel kind of relieved that you're not any better than cooking than I am."

"That just goes to show that I'm not as perfect as people think," Amagi-san said, "and our weakness is something we can work on together, with some help from Yagami-san."

Amagi-san looked at me expectantly.

"I'll do what I can," I said, "but in the end, whether you learn how to cook comes down to you."

"Yes, ma'am," Amagi-san said.

We then turned in for the night. Sleeping on the earth with only a sleeping bag for bedding was hardly comfortable, and it didn't help that I could faintly hear Ohtani-san snoring in the next tent. Even so, I was tired enough that I eventually drifted off to sleep.

Saturday, June 18, 2011, Early Morning

I woke up around dawn. Amagi-san was still sleeping, so I quietly left my tent and headed outside.

The sun was starting to rise over the trees off in the distance and turned the sky a brilliant scarlet. I saw Satonaka-san training in a clearing some distance from the tents.

"Good morning, Satonaka-san," I said.

"Good morning, Yagami-san," Satonaka-san said. "Yukiko's still asleep, isn't she?"

"She is," I said. "She seems to have the easiest time sleeping in a place like this."

"Well, it's convenient this way," Satonaka-san said, as she stopped training, "because I've got something I'd like to talk with you about. It's not that I don't want Yukiko to hear it, but I find it's easier to have a conversation like this one-on-one"

"I'm all ears," I said.

Satonaka-san and I sat down on a log together and gazed out over our village.

"I'd like you to be honest with me," Satonaka-san said. "I'm not much of a catch for the guys, am I?"

"I... wouldn't know what criteria they use or standards they have for prospective girlfriends," I said. "You'd have to ask them."

"Sorry, I guess that wasn't a fair question," Satonaka-san said, "but let's face it- I don't have a lot going for me. I'm not conventionally attractive. My grades range from above average to failing. I've got a lot of tomboyish habits, like eating meat and watching kung fu, that are turn-offs for a lot of guys."

I could hear an unspoken "unlike Yukiko" at the end of each sentence. None of what Satonaka-san was saying was necessarily untrue, but I had to shift the conversation in a more positive direction.

"...and you're the kind of person who'd risk your life to save your best friend, as well as a boy you didn't even know," I said. "You helped out your friend back when she was just a stranger to you. And you stood up to some bullies to save your old friend, as well as a little boy. You shouldn't only list the qualities you don't like about yourself."

"Not a lot of people know about my better qualities," Satonaka-san said, "and even those who do know me a long time might not fully appreciate them. Take Takesh Konno. for instance- that 'old friend' you just mentioned."

"Ah, him," I said. "At the risk of dredging up bad memories, I recall you and he had a... heated discussion about Amagi-san."

Konno-kun struck me as rather ungrateful when it came to Satonaka-san, who'd saved him from being robbed mere days before their argument. I'd held my tongue back then since this was clearly an issue between the two of them, but if I had been less restrained, he would have gotten quite an earful from me.

"Yeah," Satonaka-san said. "When he looks at Yukiko, he only sees a shy, beautiful girl that will be a trophy wife for him. He doesn't see, much less appreciate, all of Yukiko's eccentricities."

"That sounds like his problem," I said. "I don't think any girls like the Amagi-san he perceives actually exist, so it's unrealistic to hope for a 'perfect' girlfriend like that."

"You know, I realized that, too," Satonaka-san said. "I used to be jealous of Yukiko for how popular she was with the guys, but then I realized that I wouldn't necessarily want their attention, anyway."

I nodded approvingly. Life was hard when you didn't have many qualities that others could appreciate and ended up being unfavorably compared to someone close to you, so it was hardly surprising that Satonaka-san got an ego boost out of Amagi-san relying on her. The fact that Satonaka-san was starting to move away from craving others' approval and working on developing a healthy sense of self-confidence was a good sign.

"Besides," Satonaka-san said, "Yukiko would never consider any of those guys' confessions, no matter how attractive they seem. Do you know why?"

"Is it because she's a lesbian?" I said.

Satonaka-san turned white as a sheet and quickly looked around her to see if anyone might be listening in our conversation.

"H-How'd you know?" Satonaka-san said.

"A lucky guess," I said, "helped by the fact that her Shadow described you as a possible 'prince' for her but didn't specifically mention Kuma-san or Hanamura-kun. Is it possible that the two of you are in love?"

Satonaka-san nodded hesitantly.

"You're half right about that," Satonaka-san said. "Yukiko had feelings for me, but as important as she is to me, I'm not into girls. That's part of the reason why I could never become her 'prince', along with the fact that I don't plan on leaving Inaba."

"So you're also aware of her plans on leaving Inaba," I said.

"Yeah," Satonaka-san said, "and to be honest, Yagami-san, I'm a bit jealous that she told you before she told me, and she told me after she'd made up her mind to leave. I know it's not healthy for her to rely solely on me, but I thought she'd go to me first."

"If she had, what advice would you have offered her?" I said.

Satonaka-san paused for a moment, at a loss for words.

"I guess I would've suggested that she stay in Inaba," Satonaka-san said, "partly because leaving's a big risk, but mainly because I don't want to be separated from her. That's what I told her, and she said she wanted to ask you because you were an outsider with a more objective view of the situation. She was right, but I couldn't help but feel slighted."

"It's understandable if you're jealous," I said. "You shouldn't deny your feelings; instead, work through them, come to understand why you feel that way and try to reframe things in a more positive direction. Think of it this way- Amagi-san now has friends she can count on."

"Yeah, I try to do that," Satonaka-san said. "Do you ever feel jealous?"

"I do," I said, "When I first met you and Amagi-san, I felt like a bit of a third wheel considering how long the two of you have been friends. Amagi-san has opened up to me somewhat, but I doubt anyone will have the same long-term bond with her that you do."

I recalled that Amagi-san was acquainted with Tatsumi-kun when they were younger, but since they'd gone years without regularly seeing each other, and Tatsumi-kun had drastically changed in that time period, they were practically starting their relationship over from scratch.

"You're right," Satonaka-san said. "Even if I was the second person Yukiko told about her plans, I'm still, to the best of my knowledge, one of only two people who know. So how about this- if I have anything I ned to confide in someone, especially things I can't tell Yukiko, you'll be one of the first to know. Deal?"

"Deal," I said.

Amagi-san came out of the tent and said hello to us before sitting down and chatting with us. Unlike two months ago, I no longer felt like a third wheel, but a newcomer to a trio of friends. Not many people were friends with Yukiko, and I was glad I had joined that exclusive club, but I couldn't help but wish for more than that.

Sunday, June 19, 2011, Afternoon

Amagi-san and I went to Junes again, since she wanted me to teach her more about cooking. A part of that involved shopping, so we went to the grocery section of Junes, which had more variety than some of Inaba's more specialized food merchants. I helped her pick out the ingredients for each recipe, stopping her if she tried getting too "creative."

"Chie and I had a conversation earlier," Amagi-san said, "and she said you noticed I was a lesbian."

"I'm sorry," I said. "I couldn't help but piece the clues together, so I hope you're not mad at her for spilling the beans."

"Not at all," Amagi-san said. "When you have a reputation for turning down guys and a close female friend, people tend to spread rumors about that, even if they aren't true."

"But you and Satonaka-san aren't a couple, are you?" I said, trying to feign ignorance of her relationship status, even if she knew I knew about her sexuality.

"No," Amagi-san said. "Chie's one of the few people who knows about my sexuality, and is kind enough not to judge me about it, but she can't feel the same way. I've told her that I'm a lesbian, but I've never actually confessed, since I know she doesn't feel the same way about me. I'm sure she at least has some idea about my feelings, though."

I nodded. Perhaps it was for the best that Amagi-san never actually made a confession that she knew couldn't possibly accepted- it would save her the heartache of rejection and save Satonaka-san from having to say no to her best friend. If her other suitors were this considerate, her life would be significantly easier.

"If you don't mind me asking, Yagami-san," Amagi-san said, "are you at all popular with the opposite sex?"

"Not as much as you, Amagi-san," I said. "A few boys my age asked me out over the years, but I declined, pointing out that I wouldn't know whether I'd still be in town next year. They knew they wouldn't be up for a long-distance relationship, so they withdrew their confessions."

"Interesting," Amagi-san said. "That's one way to let them down gently."

"To tell you the truth, though, the bit about moving is, while true, not the most relevant issue," I said. "It's really an excuse to avoid telling them that I'm not into guys- them or anyone else."

"Oh," Amagi-san said. "So you're also a lesbian?"

"I am," I said. "I figured you deserved to know since I ended up seeing all your secrets when I saw your Shadow."

"Thank you," Amagi-san said. "I guess the newcomers to our group are at a bit of a disadvantage. Everyone saw Kanji-kun's shadow, but he was the only one who doesn't know about my or Chie's Shadows."

"That's true," I said, "and Hanamura-kun, Kuma-san and I were the only ones to see Hanamura-kun's Shadow during our second expedition to the TV on April 15."

Even though I'd seen four people's Shadows now, and watched all of them deny their Shadows, I still sympathized with them. It wasn't easy to accept parts of yourself that you weren't aware or proud of, and doing so took no small amount of courage.

"What about you, Yagami-san?" Amagi-san said. "What was your Shadow like, or would you rather not say?"

I shrugged.

"The thing is..." I said, "I never actually faced my Shadow. The first time I fought Shadows, my Persona awakened on its own."

"How strange," Amagi-san said. "I'd wager there's an explanation for that."

"Perhaps there is," I said. "I vaguely remember feeling weird and going to bed on my first night in Inaba."

We let the conversation drop, and Amagi-san changed the subject to ask me about my favorite foods.

Evening, Yukiko's POV

I borrowed the kitchen to practice cooking. Kasai-san, one of our waitresses, watched over me, correcting me whenever I was about to make a mistake. When I was finished, I offered Kasai-san a bite.

"So how is it, Kasai-san?" I said.

"Fairly good, Yuki-chan," Kasai-san said. "The dish is rather basic, but you managed to make it well. I'll let you do it on your own next time."

"Thank you very much," I said. "I'm sharing it with a schoolmate, and wanted to make sure it turns out well."

"Is it Chie-chan?" Kasai-san said. "Or did you perhaps find a boyfriend?"

"N-Neither one," I said. "It's for Yagami-san, a female classmate."

"Oh," Kasai-san said. "Well, even if Yagami-san's just a friend, it's nice to see you make friends besides Chie-chan."

As I let Kasai-san get back to work, I felt a bit disappointed for some reason. Our society expected people to get married and start families, which naturally meant getting together with someone of the opposite sex. Same sex friendships were perfectly fine- in fact, they were preferred to opposite sex friendships- but didn't accomplish that goal.

I couldn't help but think about Yagami-san. She was polite and respected my boundaries but didn't hesitate to be honest with me or ask difficult questions. She was rather intelligent and had dethroned me as top student in our grade. She was a good leader and courageous enough to risk herself to save the lives of stranger. She was beautiful and well-dressed. Some girls would see her as a potential rival, but the opposite was true for me; I wondered if some other boy would find Yagami-san desirable and get into a relationship with her instead.

Later that evening, shortly before bed, Mother knocked on the door to my room.

"Yukiko, it's me," Mother said. "May I come in?"

"Yes, Mother," I said.

Mother opened the door and sat down across from me. She was clad in her nightgown rather than a kimono, and was clearly almost ready for bed.

"Kasai-san says she saw you practicing cooking today," Mother said. "Is it perhaps practice for feeding a boy you like?"

"N-No, Mother," I said. "I already told Kasai-san that it's for my classmate Yagami-san, a girl."

"Oh, is that so?" Mother said. "Kasai-san observed that you seemed rather excited, so I thought you were in love. You might not be able to talk with one of our waitresses about it, but you can tell your mother, can't you?"

I sighed. Mother didn't intend for me to feel awkward, but I doubted she'd ask so lightly if she knew about my sexuality.

"It's good that you're happy for me," I said, "but will you be this enthusiastic about my prospective suitor when they visit you? When you and Father judge whether they're worthy of the inn, and of me?"

"It's true that your father and I have certain standards that apply to the men that will marry into our family," Mother said, "but they're as much for your sake as for our family and the inn. In fact, I can't be all that strict myself, not after how I got married."

"What do you mean?" I said.

"My mother, who managed the inn before me, wanted to arrange a marriage for me," Mother said, "but in the end, I refused the man in favor of someone who worked for the inn; it was a difficult decision, but your father convinced me to make it. Mother and I had a few arguments about this, but she came to accept my decision, perhaps because as the first female manager of the inn- she was an only child and Father died when I was young- she'd defied tradition herself."

A part of me found this a lovely story, but another part was more skeptical. Even if Mother had defied Grandmother, she'd still done her duty to the inn by inheriting the inn, getting married to a man and having a child- it wasn't her fault if her daughter refused to follow in her footsteps. If I broke the long lineage of innkeepers, I would be the only one at fault, and my family would know it.

"But in the end, you did choose to inherit the inn and run it, didn't you?" I said.

"Yes, I did," Mother said. "This inn is my home, and the money my parents made from managing it provided for me. I manage the in in order to repay my parents for what they did, keep the inn that our ancestors founded going for generations to come, and so I can pass it on to you."

So Mother saw the inn as a gift and a responsibility, rather than a burden. Our family had given much to keep the inn going, but it had also given us just as much in return. Generations of Amagis had kept the inn going, but what happened if one of them broke the chain?

Not all heirs to families were averse to inheriting their families' titles; some siblings were at each other's throats over what they would inherit from their parents. Then again, that mainly applied to large corporations and vast fortunes; when Konishi-senpai was murdered, plenty of people made cruel remarks about how her brother didn't care about her death, but no one went so far as to suggest that he'd killed his sister in order to inherit their family's struggling liquor store. Rumor had it that Konishi-senpai wanted to leave Inaba behind, but while I obviously took gossip with a grain of salt, that didn't mean that the people spreading those rumors were wrong.

There were no two ways about it- walking away from my family's inn was a selfish decision. Perhaps it was what I should do for myself, but it didn't change the fact that I was only thinking about myself.

Monday, June 20, 2011, Lunch Time, Shizuka's POV

I sat on the roof of the school and had lunch with Amagi-san, who offered me some of her food.

"This is good," I said. "I'm looking forward to the next time you share your lunch with me."

"Thank you, Yagami-san," Amagi-san said, "but that may not happen too often. My parents are beginning to ask me about whether I've got a crush on a boy. I'm sure they don't mean anything by it, but..."

"It's fine," I said, "although personally, I wouldn't mind if it were true."

Amagi-san blushed and chuckled.

"I don't know what they'd find more shocking," Amagi-san said, "my refusing to inherit the inn or getting together with another girl. But if I'm moving out of Inaba, I won't have to find out."

Perhaps that was one advantage to Amagi-san leaving Inaba. If she chose to live separately from her parents, then they would be unable to object to her choice of career or romantic partners. But that situation would be the worst-possible outcome for any familial relationship- one individual being cast out of the family, albeit voluntarily in Amagi-san's case. By now, I'd gotten used to living in Inaba, and how I hadn't seen my parents' faces in more than two months, but I knew that I would eventually be reunited with them. Was Amagi-san truly ready to part ways with her family and her hometown, never to see either again?

Monday, February 27 2017, Yukiko's POV

Now that I thought about it, I was rather impetuous and naive back then, not paying enough though to what leaving Inaba would have cost me. Perhaps I'd been overcompensating for my passivity and refusal to take risks, but that didn't mean that it was wise to take the most drastic approach. Moderation was important in all things, and I had to balance the courage to act with the wisdom to think things through.

This interview was no exception. Perhaps I couldn't do all that much for Yagami-san, but if I sensed an opportunity to say my piece and felt the need to do so, I would make myself heard.

Author's Notes

Thank you for the reviews.

I apologize for this chapter taking longer to come out, since I was busy with other projects, and my enthusiasm for fan fiction in general is waning. Still, I hope to get at least one chapter out per month; I considered taking a hiatus, but I find that the longer I stay away from any one project, the more difficult it is to return.

Still, I do have the story planned out, and a good portion of the next couple chapters written up, so it's not as though I've written myself into a corner.