Disclaimer: Ms Rowling is my hero. Anything you recognize belongs to her, even if I have taken a few liberties... She seems a good sport, though, doesn't she?

A/N: Apologies for the insanely long wait for this chapter! Real life and writer's block (not to mention a crazy detour into the Firefly 'verse by the Muse) really took their toll the past few months. Thanks to everyone who reviewed or emailed to let me know they were waiting for the next chapter of Tonks's (mis)adventures. You guys are the reason this thing even exists!

Virtual chocolate frogs to WiccaRowan for wielding the Pointy Author-Poking Stick of Doooooom and for her invaluable beta skills. Grazie!

The Case Book of Auror (Third Class) Nymphadora Tonks
1994-1995

08 June 1994 – Birthday in Four Days!
11:54 This time I really mean it: NO MORE DRINKING!

Head feels like herd of erumpents are marching in formation. Accompanied by full goblin orchestra.

Last night very fun. Gwyn and Bertram had some trouble with the witch who watches their son and didn't arrive until our third or fourth shared pitcher of ale. Everyone was properly outraged at my treatment at hands of Ministry wizards who clearly don't know their arse from a hole in the ground. Hexy and Jaya went so far as to declare that they no longer find Kingsley to be a fine specimen of Wizarding male and would most assuredly not shag him should the opportunity arise.

Love them.

Still hard to believe Rupert was there. Very funny and hot and witty and hot and generous buyer of multiple rounds. And hot. Even Sophie warmed up to him and she doesn't care for anyone who is that attractive. Doesn't trust them or some such nonsense.

Must take shower. Feel as if I rolled around on the grotty floor of Hog's Head. Ugh.

12:19 Now I think on it, probably did roll around on grotty floor of Hog's Head. Never was able to manage those Flaming Gargoyles gracefully.

I think it's the ginger.

13:31 Oh bugger. Have annual Tonks Summer Birthdays party tonight and haven't picked up gifts for cousins yet. Will have to do a bit of shopping in Muggle London on my way.

15:57 Waiting for Dad to finish dressing before we apparate to Grammy's. Had rather hoped to take the train but spent too much time in Muggle toy shop and made us all late. Did get adorable stuffed bear for Jeannie and one of those video game thingies for Samuel. Hope I got the right kind. The shop clerk was entirely too excited about my choice and he's about the same age as Samuel, so I should be in the clear.

Adults all get the standard all-purpose gift basket from Sainsbury's. Can't go wrong with chocolate biscuits and gourmet jams!

All except Grammy, of course. She gets a custom-knitted jumper and matching sock set. Started on it lastsummer and finished just a few weeks ago. Grammy is the only one who merits such a lovely and thoughtful gift as she wears my creations proudly. With virtually no snarking on the mismatched sleeve lengths and laddering. Very classy lady.

22:49 I am now the proud nearly-23-years-old owner of seven Sainsbury gift baskets. Great minds and all that.

And a pair of pineapple-shaped hair clips from Jeannie. She's four. Wonderful taste in accessories, though.

Party was fun, even if I did have to field the inevitable flood of questions from well-meaning relatives as to the state of my love life. Love them all, but really! Did it never occur to them that if a single person arrives sans date, it might be a sore point that you shouldn't keep bringing up?

Sample question (this from Dad's sister Barb): So, where's that delightful young man you brought at Christmas time?

Actual response: Oh, I don't see him much any more. So busy with work, y'know. Ha ha!

Response I wish I'd given (but couldn't, considering I just thought of it twenty minutes ago and it would violate about twelve different Secrecy statutes): Well, he was an utter knob-end who found that the seductive properties of the Heliopath offered more than did my meagre feminine charms, so he's buggered off to who-knows-where to "study" them. May he fall into a bog and reek of rot for the rest of his days.

I do have a lovely purpling bruise on my forehead from trying to walk through Grammy's sliding door. She needs a hobby; glass should never be that clean.

10 June 1994 – Birthday in two days!
18:23 Today was first day of new assignment. Will miss Savage and Lobelia but new job is much more rewarding, if mind-numbingly boring. Am working on the Oversight Committee for Quidditch World Cup Security and Charms!

Okay, am doing glorified note-taking and filing, but still. Quidditch World Cup! Chance to work with other departments!

Don't have a high enough field rating to do any on-site work, but I'm coordinating some of the last-minute warding from the office. It's amazingly complex how many different spells are being used. Spent most of the morning taking notes of a meeting with the team leader from Gringott's (several of their Curse Breakers are doing the testing).

Rupert stopped by in the afternoon to see if I'd like to have lunch with him tomorrow. Hurrah!

11 June 1994 – Lunch with Rupert! Birthday Tomorrow!
06:13 Have already changed outfits four times and am not due to leave for work for another two hours.

06:57 Nine times.

07:16 Right. Am leaving early. Removing self from temptation of closets will help tremendously. As a bonus, will have time to smell freshly baked scones at the corner bakery as am too nervous to eat anything.

Also, twelve times.

13:08 No time for details of lunch beyond that it was loads of fun and we've made plans to do it again next week. Am already late for status meeting with Department of Games team.

17:51 Joy. We've now descended into a rehash of the 1982 match against India. No matter! Have time to write about lunch!

We popped up to Hogsmeade to eat at Rosmerta's. Had brief moment of panic thinking that Rupert meant for us to go to Puddifoot's (am as good as banned for life, thank Merlin – would rather not pick confetti out of my tea and dodge dive-bombing cherubs while trying to impress potential boyfriend with witty repartee). Rosmerta practically molested Rupert when we walked in, then winked very obviously at me while saying what a pleasure it was to see me out and about with such an attractive wizard. Wanted to die and am sure that my hair flamed as brilliantly as my cheeks. Once we sat down to eat, I was much less nervous. Rupert is very easy to talk to – was like lunching with an old friend which gave me another round of panic. Is he not interested? Does he just want to be work friends who lunch together and occasionally drink too much?

All is not lost, though! He did pull out my chair for me and give me a kiss on the hand before we Apparated back to work. Hurrah! Is gentleman!

Crap. Weedy Clerk just asked question and everyone is staring at me. How'm I supposed to pay attention when there is swooning over lunch date to be done?

20:32 Am too exhausted to do more than fall into bed. Just got home from status meeting. Gods, but they're a long-winded bunch. Probably wouldn't have taken so long if they weren't missing one of their team members (I think someone said she's on holiday in Eastern Europe) and Ludo Bagman could go longer than twenty minutes without reminiscing about his professional Quidditch days. Wanker.

Did get his autograph for Bertram so all was not lost.

12 June 1994 – Birthday!
06:31 Am twenty-three today! Adult with professional career! Hurrah!

Mum and Dad are taking me to dinner at Magda's after work. Seems slightly pathetic to celebrate birthday with parents instead of friends (and potential boyfriend), but don't care. Magda's is tradition.

And have grown out of horrible hate-my-parents teenaged angst and discovered that parents are rather cool after all.

Work today will be quite boring. Am to spend day documenting believable Muggle-Worthy Excuses for QWC. Bunch of stuffed-shirts in that office. Will go with spiky orange and blue hair today.

21:16 Am so full I could barely even Floo home after dinner. I wish I could afford to eat at Magda's more often. They have the most delicious meal, the World Tour Platter: Greek salad, Chicken Florentine, falafel with tahini sauce, spring rolls and, for afters, Russian kisel. Dad practically had to roll me outside.

Birthday present from Mum and Dad is almost too much: TWO TICKETS TO THE WORLD CUP!

Am so unbelievably excited! Gwyn and Bertram are taking their son (they told us all about getting the tickets through her brother's connections at Quality Quidditch the other night) and I haven't seen a professional match since I started Auror training. I don't even know which teams are in contention!

23:01 One small problem: who am I going to take?

23:14 It's too soon to ask Rupert to come away with me, isn't it?

23:50 Is it?

14 June 1994
15:33 I swear to Zeus that if I have to hear about Ludo Bagman's Quidditch prowess for one more moment, I'm going to turn him into a bludger.

One of the blokes on the Games team is passed out at the table right now as Ludo babbles on and on and on about the time he managed to knock the Puddlemere Seeker clean off his broom just as he was reaching for the Snitch. We tried turning the conversation for awhile but I think that now everyone is simply plotting Ludo's bloody and brutal demise.

16:08 I really think that an Unforgivable would be entirely forgivable in this case. Ludo's now moved on to the 1980 exhibition match against Brazil.

16:21 Oh, for the love of all that is chocolate and fatty!

Forget the murder Ludo plan. Just kill me now.

15 June 1994
12:15 Just got a memo from Hex that everyone is meeting at the Hog's Head to listen to the Scotland-Luxembourg match tonight. If it runs past closing time, we'll head over to Hexy's flat to continue the party. Er, the very serious gathering for the express purpose of cheering on countrymen. And women.

Wouldn't it be wicked for one of the British teams to wind up in the finals? There hasn't been a home team playing for the title since Germany played in Berlin in 1937. Which was obviously fixed. As if Germany could have defeated the Portuguese without some kind of trickery...

15:42 Will not drink, even if Scotland wipes the field with Luxembourg. Or loses horribly. Either way, will celebrate or commiserate while completely sober.

Can still taste those Flaming Gargoyles in the back of my throat. Eurgh.

16:17 Maybe I should invite Rupert to come out with us tonight? At very least, can drop not-so-subtle hints about extra ticket going to waste.

Yes. Good plan.

17:02 Okay, maybe just one tiny mug of ale...

16 June 1994
07:26 Am so tired can barely see straight. Match just ended and unless England or Ireland pulls a miracle out of their collective arses, we'll have to wait another three years to see a home team in the QWC.

Ran into Lobelia on my way out last night and invited her to come with. Turns out she's a rabid Quidditch fan, never misses a match. She fit in quite well with the regular crowd and had many a funny story about Arsy Face.

Rupert never did answer my owl. Bastard. What is his problem, anyway? We had such a lovely lunch last week and I thought he was keen on going out again this week, but I haven't heard from him at all. Argh!

10:13 Is it my arse? I knew I should've spent more time on it instead of my hair.

18 June 1994
19:13 Owl from Rupert waiting when I got home from work. Says an old friend from school is in town and they've been running about town together. Apologized for ignoring my owl and wants to go to lunch tomorrow if I'm free...

YES I BLOODY WELL AM FREE! Hurrah!

19 June 1994
13:22 Another lovely lunch with Rupert. We traded stories of our favourite concerts and trips to Muggle London. (He was at some of the same Weird Sisters concerts that I attended!) He's so cute and funny and hot and he touched my arm seven times while we were at lunch!

Afterwards, we were standing outside the restaurant and he leaned in fairly close to me. I think he may have meant to kiss me, but someone called his name from across the street and he said goodbye to me and all but ran away. Sigh.

Must dash. Am due in status meeting with Scrimgeour and Games team in five minutes!

20 June 1994
13:55 Had another weird conversation with Kingsley at lunch today. He sat next to me in the cafeteria and started talking about the first case he had as a field operative. This wizard up north was wanted for attempting to poison his sister's husband. Seems he was always mouthing off down the pub how he thought the bloke was a total prig and wished his sister had never met him. So, one day, the husband staggered into St Mungo's, pale and vomiting and shaky. The diagnosis in triage was a lethal dose of Granoil. One of the nurses called headquarters and they sent Kingsley to interview the husband. He claimed that he came home from work and the brother was sitting in his kitchen with a bottle of Old Ogden's. Long story short, they had a drink, the wife's brother left and the husband started feeling ill.

Open and shut case, right? Not so, says Kingsley. When Kingsley and his partner apprehended the wizard, he seemed completely shocked at the news. His partner was all for taking the bloke directly to Azkaban, but Kingsley thought something was fishy. So, he started chatting with the guy. Turns out that the sister asked the wizard to keep her husband company while she was out with friends - to bury the hatchet, as it were. Kingsley convinced his partner to bring the bloke to London for questioning (the wizard didn't resist at all) under Veritaserum. During the interrogation, the wizard tells him that when he got to the sister's house, the bottle and the glasses were already out on the table. He had just given up drinking as a promise to his wife, so he just kept his brother-in-law company for a bit.

Kingsley believed the bloke, so he did a quick residue test on the alcohol left in the bottle. There was enough Granoil inside to kill a hippogriff. The trace test on the wizard's hands were negative.

So, Kingsley took a squad back up north and found the sister packing a trunk, a one-way ticket to Bermuda on the kitchen table. She got life in Azkaban.

When he finished the story, he just looked at me for a minute – I'm sure I looked every bit as confused as I felt. Why was he telling me this? Then he said, "When you're investigating, make sure you look below the surface of things. If everything fits together too neatly, there's probably a reason why."

Very weird. What is he on about?

17:02 Rupert just popped in by Floo to ask if I'd like to go out for a drink in a few minutes. Hurrah!

21:44 Another lovely outing with Rupert. I can hardly believe someone so funny and hot and cute and hot is interested in me. I want to go on and on about everything we talked about, but am afraid of jinxing it.

21:52 He doesn't care for orange foods, like carrots. Isn't that the cutest thing? It was almost more than I could –

No! Jinx!

23 June 1994
03:11 We've been so busy at work the last few days, I barely have time to do more than wash my face before I fall asleep at night. Who knew paperwork could be this exhausting?

Good news is that I haven't broken anything or fallen down in a week. Definitely a benefit to riding a desk all day long. Bad news is that I'm so tired all the time. Even with being as exhausted as I am, I'm not sleeping very well.

I'm only up right now because I had that horrible dream again. Third time this week. Tonight, the wizard ran off the acromantula and didn't approach me at all. Same thing with the bells ringing when he opened his mouth, though. Wish he'd come closer so I could get a better look at him. From what I could see, he was still wearing the mask but this time he was carrying something different in his hand. Looked like a scrap of parchment or something.

Oh! There's an owl waiting outside my window! Poor thing – she's probably been out there for hours.

03:14 Was owl from Rupert. He wrote that he just realized he'd never wished me a happy birthday and couldn't go to bed until he'd sent me a quick message. Isn't he sweet?

24 June 1994
13:07 Was just doing some laundry when I got an owl from Jaya. The Weird Sisters are playing next weekend at some dodgy club in the City! Hurrah! We haven't been to a proper concert in ages!

And she says she knows someone who's dying to go to the Cup. Double hurrah!

I can't believe it's been this difficult to find someone to go with me. Gwyn and Bertram are already going. Hex has been volunteered to work the entrance, Jaya is visiting relatives in India for the whole month of August and Sophie couldn't care less about Quidditch. Sebastian's going with some of his team-mates from school. Lobelia has had her tickets for ages and Rupert finally admitted he doesn't much care for sports.

Speaking of Rupert, I don't know what's going on there. We've had lunch twice now, went out for drinks after work once and chat in the corridors at work whenever we see each other. I dunno. He's very funny and sweet (and hot) and we get on great, but that's it. He seems interested, but the few times I tried to make a move, it felt really wrong. Like trying to snog one's cousin or something.

Not that I know what snogging one's cousin would feel like. Anyway, it's not like he's made a move on me or anything either...

14:26 It is my arse, isn't it?

28 June 1994
11:29 There's something a bit dodgy going on up in the Department of Games. That witch who went on hols? She's been gone for over two weeks now and no one has heard from her. One of the blokes I've been meeting with said that she's a total scatterbrain, but she usually sends a couple of cheery postcards.

And she was only authorized for two weeks of leave.

Ludo keeps saying that she'll turn up – apparently she did something like this the first year she was in his department. Left for a mini-break in Breton and came back two weeks later, talking about the ruins at Carthage.

Guess I won't worry about it yet. They know her, so maybe they know what they're talking about.

I do wish she'd come back soon. These guys are pretty much useless.

13:10 If she's not back by next weekend, maybe I'll talk to Kingsley. Or pay a visit to Moody. He probably knows her. Plus, if you're looking to call attention to something, he's your guy.

Hmm. Maybe Moody knows who Slim is? I haven't seen him round lately but he keeps popping into my head at the strangest times. I hope he's gotten over whatever illness he had.

16:38 Just casually dropped by Rupert's cubicle to see if he had plans to go to the concert this weekend. Luckily, he was out at the time. I say 'luckily' because I tripped over a ripple in the carpeting and knocked about eight pounds of files onto the floor while trying to act nonchalant at being on the wrong end of the office for no apparent reason. Sigh.

Lobelia saw me leaving and told me that they're going out of town on assignment this weekend with some high-level protection detail. Double sigh.

01 July 1994
02:45 The concert was killer!

...not literally, of course.

I haven't danced so much since we went to one of those Muggle music festivals the summer after our last year at Hogwarts. Can't hear anything right now except the thump of my heartbeat. Sounds so much like the drums in Love Potion that I'm loath to fix my hearing.

Jaya and I went to dinner at a little Muggle restaurant before the show. Turns out the person who's dying to see the Cup is her cousin. No, not Nikhil, more's the pity. This is her sixteen year old cousin, Indra, who is visiting her family for the summer. Jaya says he's absolutely Quidditch-mad, much to the dismay of his parents. Apparently he can name all the national team players in the last forty Cup matches but has difficulty remembering how to unlock a door.

Impressive.

I'm a little worried about the appearance of a single witch taking an adolescent on holiday. I mean, I wouldn't normally have a problem with it, and the Choudhuris are fairly modern, but two unmarried people sharing a tent many miles from home and chaperones? The Wizarding world isn't that progressive. Jaya says it's no big deal; they pretty much just want him out of the house. He's driving everyone mad – even her grammy is desperate for something to distract the kid.

Plus, I've never even met Indra. So that's a bit weird.

I dunno. They've invited me to lunch later today so we can talk about it.

15:06 I'm pretty sure that kid doesn't even know that girls exist unless they play for one of the national teams. Two solid hours of Quidditch talk! I like the sport as much as the next witch or wizard, but it was nearly enough to turn me off my heaping plate of vindaloo.

Nearly.

Should introduce him to Ludo so they could bore the pants off each other and give the rest of us a break.

15:08 That's ... a very disturbing image.

Grammy Choudhuri read my palm again. Seems that not only am I to have a Grand Star-Crossed Romance, but also some Exciting Adventures, a trip to visit relatives overseas, a bit of Parental Disapproval and maybe a musical number or two. Think she's watched one too many Bollywood films this summer. (Research: Do I even have any relatives living abroad?)

Mr Choudhuri slipped me his wife's recipe for sabzi kurma as I was leaving. Said it wasn't nearly adequate payment for taking Indra off their hands for a few days. Love him.

03 July 1994
11:21 Moody walked into the office just as the morning briefing was breaking up. He and Kingsley disappeared into one of the interrogation rooms and have only just come out. When I heard the door open, I waved at Moody to come over to my cubicle. (That eye is really gross, but dead useful. I'm completely hidden by partitions but I can hear him stumping over this way.)

12:07 One of these days I'm going to get the guts to ask him if that eye can see through clothing.

Anyway, I mentioned the witch from Games and he looked concerned. Said he'd poke around a little. Tried to ask him about Slim, but he changed the subject pretty fast. Actually, I'm not even sure he heard me. Was busy praising me for not cluttering up my workspace with a bunch of personal items. "Makes it harder for dark wizards to impersonate you this way," he said.

Since he left, I can't stop looking at all this blank space. Is a bit weird that I haven't decorated yet. My flat looks like a charity shop vomited its contents over every available surface and my dorm at Hogwarts was the same way. Will bring in a few pictures tomorrow. And a little plant. Maybe that weird larva lamp (or whatever it's called) Dad bought for me? Probably should have a few books in the desk.

I wonder if my Holyhead Harpies poster would fit on the partition behind me...