Chapter the Fourth: In Which Meiling Returns and Resolves to Aid Tomoyo and Eriol in Their Quest

Long time ago, in a faraway land, there lived a happy couple. Their names were Sakura and Syaoran. They never ever turned beet red and that was because they lived faraway from all civilization, including the reincarnate of a magician, a singer/designer/best friend, a Crazy Chinese Cousin, and a tap-dancing Mr. Peanut. Not!

What really happened was this:

"SYAO-CHAN!" Syaoran froze. He knew that voice. It was the voice of… "IT'S ME, MEILING!" At that very moment, Syaoran ran as if the devil and his army of monsters and demons were running after him.

"Wait a minute… I'm faster than her. So why the hell is she gaining?" Syaoran looked backwards to get a better look. "OH JEEZ! SHE'S WEARING CLEATS!" With this in mind, Syaoran began running faster than ever. But what he didn't know was that Eriol had bought some string. And as we all know, string can have many purposes like being tied between two trees in a park so that it'll trip people who are too busy running for their lives to notice the fine thread that's been put up by evil reincarnates of powerful magicians.

"AAAAAAAAAAA!" Syaoran saw the string just in time and did a spectacular jump that saved him from that piece of string. However, just when he was about to land, his foot caught on another piece of string. He did a magnificent fall and landed in mud.

"Ohohoho!" Syaoran wiped off the mud on his face to see a video camera in his face. "That was so cool Syaoran-kun! Although I do think you should get a stunt double pretty soon. These accidents that you have are getting progressively more dangerous."

"SYAO-CHAN!"

Syaoran immediately got up. "Out of my way, Daidouji!" He got up and…

He fell again. "What the hell," he swore.

"Oh, Syaoran. Please don't swear while you're on tape."

"Or surrounded by it either," Eriol's voice piped up. Syaoran looked at his feet and saw they were tied together with duct tape.

"SYAO-CHAN!" Meiling's voice rang out.

Oh no, I'm too young to die, Syaoran thought.

"So, my dear cousin, have you done it with Sakura yet?" Meiling grinned evilly as Syaoran grew bright red.

"Ohohoho!" The last thing Syaoran heard was Tomoyo's laughter before he blacked out.

When Syaoran came to, he was trussed up like a chicken in a dingy basement with only one light hanging from the ceiling.

"He's awake!" Meiling yelled.

"We're right here you know. No need to yell."

"Oh. He's awake," Meiling whispered.

"We know."

"So what are we going to do?"

"What we always do."

"Plot world domination?"

"The other thing we always do."

"Oh…" Meiling smiled. "Embarrass Syaoran in front of Sakura."

"Ohohoho."

"Nyek nyek nyek."

"Eriol, you're starting to scare me. What the hell is 'nyek nyek nyek'? And Tomoyo, if you plan to laugh like an insane maniac you should laugh like so. MUHWAHWAHWAHWAHWA!"

"Wow. That was really great. Do it again so I can record you!"

"Um… Su-"

"PEOPLE!"

"Yes, Hiiragizawa-kun?"

"Syaoran?"

"What about the prisoner?"

"I'M NOT A PRISONER."

"Gag him."

"What? AAA-"

"That's better."

"Now what should we do with my cute little descendant?"

"Well, I still have my luggage and I have rolls of toilet paper."

"Toilet paper? Brilliant thinking."

"I always like to think ahead."

"You're so smart."

"Excuse me, but if you girls are finished talking can you get the toilet paper?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Mmmph!"

"…Um…"

"What?"

"I can't find it…"

"What do you mean?"

"I can't find it."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Mmmph!"

"Well, no wonder. The inside of your bag is a jungle!"

"Now, now Eriol-kun. Be nice."

"You know what? I'll get the toilet paper myself, okay? Now don't mess up my basement while I'm gone."

"Hai, Hiiragizawa-kun."

"…"

"…"

"Mmmph!"

"Hey Tomoyo, wanna start a fire."

"…"

"…"

"Mmmph!"

"…No…"

"I'm back!"

"Oooh. Toilet paper. So what are we going to do with it?"

"Well… all good presents are nicely wrapped…"

"MUHWAHWAHWAHWAHWA!"

"Ohohoho. You guys can wrap him up while I find a big box and video tape. After all, if Syaoran escapes again, we can always show Sakura the tape."

"Nyek nyek nyek."

"Wait. We want Syaoran to be presentable don't we?"

"So?"

"So this outfit won't do, if you know what I mean."

"Wait! I have the new and improved princess costume from Sleeping Beauty!"

"New and improved?"

"More pink, frills, lace, and blonde."

"Eriol, we're going to leave while you…er… change him."

"Have a nice time!"

"Sorry my kawaii little descendant."

"MMMPPPHH!" (Translation: HEEEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPP!)

"He's ready to be wrapped!"

"Ohohoho!"

"Isn't my descendant so kawaii?"

"Hai!"

"Muhwahwahwahwahwahwa!"

"Wrap a boy, wrap a boy, wrap a boy!"

"That sounded just weird coming out of you, Hiiragizawa-kun."

"I agree with Tomoyo-chan."

"Fine then. Take all the fun out of things."

"DONE!"

"Now to roll him into the box."

"HEAVE!"

"Ho!"

"Heave!"

"Ho!"

"Ohohoho!"

"Wow. That was good exercise."

"Who knew toilet paper could weigh so much?"

"Well, considering how much you put around him…"

"Let's choose the wrapping paper for the box."

"I like the pink one with the red hearts that have 'I Love You' written on them."

"Good choice Daidouji-san."

"Thank you."

"When you two are done flirting, can you give me a hand? I can't get the stupid paper on!"

"We are NOT flirting."

"And yes, we'll help you."

"Now for the ribbon."

"Since we're having a Valentine's Day sort of theme, why not red?"

"Okay!"

"And make it curl at the ends!"

"Okay!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Mmmph."

"That is one huge bow."

"That is one huge box."

"This is one funny video."

"And now to transport it to the Kinomoto residence."

"Oh Lord."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Mmmph."

"Here we are."

"Finally."

"Ring the door bell, quick!"

"Run!"

"Into the bushes!"

"I already am!"

"Shut up!"

"Okay, okay, jeez!"

"To Sakura Kinomoto. KAIJUU! You got a present!"

"Really?"

"Yeah!"

"Hoe! It's huge! Guess I'll have to unwrap it out here!"

Syaoran began to grow scared. Very scared. Light began pouring into the box as it opened. The toilet paper was ripped off and…

He awoke in his bed. "Whoa… what a nightmare! I'm so glad that was just a dream. I need to calm down."

Syaoran got dressed and went to the park. He was walking along, minding his own business when he heard a very familiar voice yell, "SYAO-CHAN!" He began running for all it was worth when he realized Meiling was catching up to him.

"Wait a minute… I'm faster than her. So why the hell is she gaining?"Syaoran looked back to get a closer look. "OH JEEZ! SHE'S WEARING CLEATS!"

He began running even faster when he noticed some string in his path. He jumped just in time but tripped on another piece of thread just as he was about to land. He fell into the mud.

"Ohohoho!" Syaoran wiped the mud off his face to see a video camera in his face. "That was so cool Syaoran! Although I do think you should get a stunt double pretty soon. These accidents that you have are getting progressively more dangerous."

"SYAO-CHAN!"

Syaoran immediately got up. "Out of my way, Daidouji!" He got up and…

He fell again. "What the hell," he swore.

"Oh, Syaoran. Please don't swear while you're on tape."

"Or surrounded by it either," Eriol's voice piped up.

Syaoran looked at his feet and saw they were tied together with duct tape. "SYAO-CHAN!" Meiling's voice rang out. Oh no, It's just like my dream, Syaoran thought.

"So, my dear cousin, have you done it with Sakura yet?" Meiling grinned evilly as Syaoran grew bright red.

"Ohohoho!" The last thing Syaoran heard was Tomoyo's laughter before he blacked out.

When Syaoran regained consciousness…

What do you think happened next?