849 [3]
Eren's mind thrummed with possibilities for the future as he sat in the main classroom. What had begun as a large lecture hall shrunk and devolved as the top trainees emerged. Those with the potential to challenge or support them ended up joining the higher-level classes. There were maybe twenty-five present in total for this particular class. He could feel Annie's gaze burrowing into the back of his head as he struggled to listen to the day's lecture concerning the physics behind optimizing gas supply, or maybe it was another lecture about the many, many things humanity didn't know about the enemy. He had zoned out, mind stuck on a past conversation, though there was a tapping sound that was annoying him.
"Eren," hissed Armin to his left. "Your leg."
He stared at his childhood friend, confused, before he realized why he was being bothered about his leg. The left one was fidgeting, moving up and down rapidly. He stopped and the tapping noise that had just begun to annoy him vanished.
"Thank you, Trainee Jaeger," drawled their instructor mockingly. He tapped the slate board behind him with a piece of chalk. "Give me one theory about aspects of Titan physiology we don't understand."
Eren bit the inside of his lip, hoping he might appear thoughtful. It was frustrating that they continued to talk about things they didn't know. He wished Annie had told him more about where Titans came from and what she knew about them that those behind the walls were unaware of, but that wasn't something they could safely talk about yet.
So instead he said, "They produce steam from their wounds because of their body's high temperature, like boiling water. Maybe they're like plants and gain their nutrition from the sun."
The instructor glowered. "I thought you would've come up with something interesting, Jaeger. Guess I shouldn't expect better out of Titan-bait marching straight towards the Survey Corps, regardless of your ranking."
There was a spatter of chuckles at the instructor's mocking tone, though most remained silent. Few of his fellow cadets bothered to trouble him over his desire to exterminate every Titan, especially since he had calmed down on that particular matter. Learning that Annie was a Titan Shifter like him created hope in his breast that the tyranny of the Titans would be broken. There was no reason to showboat about something that would certainly come to pass.
Even better was that they were going to meet later that day so she could explain the basics of shifting. He doubted she would show him how to do so today, even if he was more than ready to try his hand at it.
It can't be so difficult. If it's a power I have, then it's one I can use. Annie only needs to show me how.
Eren had no clue why she continued to hesitate about agreeing to join the Corps. Having two Titan Shifters on the frontlines would save countless human lives and hasten the reclamation of both Wall Maria and his breached hometown. He hoped in the year they still had for their training that Annie would finally agree to commit to joining the Corps with him.
The rest of the morning class passed without another incident of note. Armin went over the various theories presented, speaking as if he needed to prepare to argue for or against any of them before Military High Command. Eren nodded absently, more focused on the fact that in the evening, he would be getting actual answers instead of the theories of cowards.
"Eren," said Mikasa, interrupting his distant thoughts. "What did you think of the lecture?"
He glanced at his adoptive sister, who still wore the scarf he had wrapped around her neck five years ago. "Don't know," he admitted honestly. "The Survey Corps has their own researchers, so I'll trust them over our instructor." Eren glanced at Armin. "No offense."
His friend frowned, though there was no sign he was offended. "What's on your mind, Eren? You've been distant recently."
He looked away, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. Despite the fact he trusted Armin and Mikasa with his life, he couldn't find the strength to tell them his secret. Telling them the truth was bound to expose Annie's secret to them, and he wanted to protect her in his own little way. It seemed foolish, given how skilled and talented she was, yet a strange force within him desired to keep her safe. It felt good, being able to protect someone.
"Does it have anything to do with Annie?" asked Armin.
Eren flushed, struggling not to stare at his best friend in astonishment. "How did you—"
"You spend more time with her than anyone, including her bunkmate," Armin stated. He glanced at Mikasa. "We both get a lot of questions about your relationship with Annie, since most of the others are terrified of asking either of you."
Eren suddenly felt a pressure upon him, as though he were dropped into a Titan-infested copse right before dawn. A single failure could doom him, and perhaps even Annie. There was a dark look in Mikasa's grey eyes as her gaze bore into him, one that he couldn't say he'd ever seen before.
"We train together. You know, hand-to-hand," Eren said carefully, trying not to sound too defensive. He gulped at the slight furrow between Mikasa's eyebrows while one of Armin's rose. "You two believe me, right?"
Before either could respond, the worst voice to interrupt them made itself known.
"Eren. Training after dinner. I'll come find you."
Without a farewell or waiting for him to confirm he understood, Annie Leonhardt walked off. Eren ignored the piercing stares at the back of his head as he watched her go. Not only had his childhood friends noticed her curt and swift comments to set up their training session, but several others of their fellow trainees had noticed as well. While he knew exactly what she meant—their first shifter training session would be tonight, even if there was a good chance she wouldn't help him through the process—he had a terrible feeling someone would get the wrong idea.
Not that I wouldn't mind. The thought vanished as sudden as it came upon him, and Eren would inevitably forget it.
"So you and Annie, huh?" asked Connie Springer, wiggling eyebrows. Though a bit dull, his short stature was beneficial while in the air. Eren remembered several incidents where Connie had cut him off, able to fit through slight gaps that his size left open.
"Wha—what do you mean?"
Connie smirked, turning to the trio of Sasha, Jean and Marco that were standing nearby. Something flashed in their eyes as Marco smiled, holding out a hand. Eren frowned as money was exchanged, almost all of it going to the freckled boy in question. Sasha got a coin from Jean, though her expression was enough to know that she would rather be given someone's dinner rations than any quantity of money.
"What's going on over here?" asked a deep voice.
Everyone turned as Reiner and Bertholdt approached. Marco gestured first to Eren, then to the door Annie had gone through. He whispered something before holding out his hand.
Eren glanced at the empty doorway, suddenly tempted to go after Annie if only to remove himself from the looming conversation. For whatever reason, there was a bet about them, though he didn't know what or why.
"Really?" asked Reiner, crossing his arms. "So Eren actually tamed Annie?" He grinned at Eren. "You're a hero, Eren. I never thought she'd find a guy she would be interested in kissing."
"Who is Eren kissing?"
Everyone turned to find that Annie had suddenly returned. She stood in the doorway, glowering at Reiner. Eren had a feeling she hadn't gone away, but instead listened in as people began talking about the two of them. Though the longer he stared at her, the more he realized something was off about her.
Or more importantly, about her face.
Annie's cheeks were a rosy pink, odd from the normally unflappable girl. Eren had a sudden realization about what their fellows had been betting about. Where he knew there was only a professional relationship, they saw one that was closer, of a different nature.
A romantic one.
A raging blush erupted across Eren's face as he stared at the ground. He didn't know how to safely handle the situation he suddenly found himself in, especially as laughter broke out at his flushed reaction. It would be easy to fall back upon his anger, but he held back. Eren didn't know if Annie was having the same thoughts as him.
Worse, she could take back her decision not to train him as a shift—
A small hand suddenly took his, clenching tightly. Eren glanced over and blinked, surprised that Annie was now standing beside him, holding his hand as though she would disappear without him. Face flushed, she glared at everyone with challenging blue eyes. Other than Mikasa, she was the top trainee in hand-to-hand combat, and few would dare cross her.
"No way…" muttered Reiner, suddenly disbelieving. "She really…"
Bertholdt appeared strangely distressed, turning away abruptly. Eren stood stock still, his mind slugging through what was happening around him. Annie's hand, tucked in his, was warm and surprisingly soft beyond callouses on her palm that had to come from training in her unique style. His gut felt strange while the rest of his body was increasingly warm.
It was a bizarrely intoxicating sensation, interrupted when Annie yanked on his arm and started back towards the door.
She dragged him away, shifting her hair briefly to cover her blushing face and ears. Annie didn't relent, her grasp even tightening, as they stormed out of the instruction building and out of the camp. They kept going until they reached the lake where she had told him about also being a Titan Shifter.
"Annie, what was—"
"I sacrificed my reputation to make these sessions easier to sneak away for, Jaeger," she snarled, turning on him with a harsh finger jab to his chest. Her blush was gone, and he couldn't help but wonder if she could control her emotions at will.
"Thanks, Annie," he mumbled, rubbing where she had poked him. Eren tried to meet her gaze, but found it was easier to look anywhere else. So he stared out over the lake, scratching the back of his head as he wondered, What is wrong with me?
A heartbeat later, he was laying upon his back, staring up at Annie. Her furious sky blue eyes searched his green expanse for something he couldn't name.
"Don't read into anything, Eren," she said, looking away. Annie then helped him back onto his feet, face once more impassive. "I hadn't planned on starting your training this early, but those idiots made a big deal out of nothing and forced my hand."
Eren nodded, curious how she planned to start their training session.
"You won't be shifting for some time, and only during storms," Annie began. "The shift draws down lightning for activation, and people will become suspicious if stray, impossible bolts come down near the camp."
"Makes sense," Eren replied. He thought back to that day, when his hometown fell. There had been a flash of light and a boom, which now that he thought about it, could've come from a bolt of lightning. That had been right before the Colossal Titan appeared to destroy the gate…
"That bastard," he suddenly growled, hands clenching tightly. "I remember the boom and flash from the Colossal Titan from that day. He's like us, ain't he."
Annie stared at him for several seconds, the kind of pressing looks she was prone to giving him. He wanted to be proud he had figured out that another Titan Shifter had despoiled his hometown, but on the other hand he was utterly furious. She sighed and muttered, "At least now I won't need to make it clearer how careful we'll need to be, once we have the chance to actually shift and practice fighting as Titans."
"So what will we be doing instead?" asked Eren, absently stretching his arms.
"I'll be teaching you more grappling and locking techniques. Those methods will be the most effective when fighting the Armored Titan. We should be able to spar in our Titan forms long before graduation. After that, do not be surprised if you encounter the enemy and are forced to fight them."
Eren nodded. His hands clenched into fists. He raised one, staring at it. He was surprised he was excited by the idea of fighting Titans as a Titan. It had been distressing at first, knowing he could transform into the very enemy he hated, but that was before he realized there were more people like him—and that they were responsible for what happened to his hometown. The very future of humanity could be resting on both his and Annie's shoulders.
They couldn't fail, and they couldn't get caught.
"So how does it work?" asked Eren, dropping his fist. "I don't plan on transforming, but I'd like to know more."
Annie considered the request for a few seconds before answering: "Every shifter needs to fulfill two conditions: an open wound, which is often but not always self-inflicted, and a concrete goal in mind. The open wound allows for us to bind to our Titan forms while the goal allows for clarity of mind after the transformation."
"So some lost their minds?" he asked, suddenly queasy. It was a terrifying thought, losing himself to his Titan form. He might eat people, just like—
"The regular Titans!" Eren blurted before Annie could reply to his first question. "Are they…were they human?"
Annie stared at him with that troubled look she had when he suspected she learned what he was. Eren wondered what could be going through her guarded mind, especially after his question. It had been a sudden one, coming from some strange corner of his mind. He wondered if anything else troubling might arise from it, or if it was only some of Armin's book smarts finally rubbing off on him.
"As to your first question, not exactly," Annie replied, slowly and carefully. "Titan forms, especially your early shifts, have an intoxicating quality to them. You may even believe the real world to be a dream, and thus trapped in a dream that feels warm. It's strange to describe, since I didn't experience it."
"Of course you didn't," Eren growled. "But…what about my other question?"
"I can't answer that question." She looked away, out over the lake. "Not today. Not yet."
As much as Eren wanted to press her for answers, he knew that was the easiest way to get beaten up. Annie held secrets more fiercely than a wild dog with its catch. She'd only give up more secrets once she was ready. Or, chances were, she thought he was ready.
More so, if what his gut told him was true, then his goal to kill every Titan was nothing more than mass murder. People being turned into Titans, set loose upon the world—only someone evil could devise such an insidious plot. He couldn't fathom why, but then he wasn't Armin.
Should I tell him? Eren wondered. I don't need to tell him about Annie, but if he knows, then he could help figure out how to deal with the possibility Titans are just…lost humans, stripped of who they were. There has to be a way to turn them back, unless killing them is like mercy.
It was still a stretch, for there was no good reason he should harbor this new, sudden fear that Titans were once people. He was only projecting his status as a Titan Shifter onto some strange impulse that had come to mind. It wasn't as if he were Armin, capable of thinking through something in a matter of seconds. Instead, Eren felt the idea had been dropped into his mind at random.
Eren closed his eyes. A salty breeze crossed his face. He opened them and gasped.
Somehow, the ocean was before him. He glanced around, confused. It stretched out and out, endless upon the horizons it stretched out upon. There were a few docks nearby, stretching from the concrete wall he stood upon, but everything before him was the sea, the salt water Armin had told him about.
It was greater than what was described in Armin's book.
Eren blinked, and he was back at the lake near camp. Annie's brows were furrowed, concerned as she stood right before him, staring.
"You blanked out there, Eren."
"I just saw the sea," he said, somewhat dazed.
Annie frowned. "Saw the sea? You weren't even looking at the lake."
He shook his head. "Not like that, Annie. It was…it was real. I could feel the breeze, smell the salt. The sea—the ocean—stretched out as far as I could see. There were even some docks—"
"Are you sure you merely aren't imagining something Arlert told you about?"
Eren sighed, rubbing the back of his head. Why couldn't Annie understand what he saw? Despite everything he should know, it had been real. He was certain of it.
Or at least that was what he wanted it to be.
Between his vision of the ocean and his impulsive thought that Titans might have once been human, Eren feared there might be something wrong with him. The fact he could turn into a Titan—not that he had done so yet—made these strange occurrences possible, yet part of him wanted them to just be false expressions of his struggling sense of self in the present.
"I…I don't know," he admitted. "It's just, I was so certain I saw it."
Annie made an odd humming noise. "I don't know much about your particular Titan, so I can't say what it is. Maybe memories from whomever you inherited it from. I know most shifters get glimpses and feelings from past inheritors, though they fade after the first couple years."
He nodded absently, remembering how she had suggested Eren got his power from his father. If that was true, could it be possible his father once went beyond the Walls? Had he been to the ocean? Had Eren just witnessed his father's memory?
"But it doesn't matter right now," Annie continued, interrupting Eren's wandering thoughts. "You can only be as effective as a Titan as you are while human." Her arms came up, along with a smile. "Try to not be too harsh with me."
Eren was sore, returning to camp from the training upon the lake's shore. He limped into the mess hall, supported by a surprisingly apologetic Annie as he forcibly suppressed his accelerated healing abilities. Any good mood either of them possessed vanished the moment Connie wolf-whistled at their arrival. She remained by his side regardless, ignoring Mikasa's dark glower and whispering voices from every corner of the mess hall. Eren knew it was all to sell the illusion of them being together, but it troubled him, blatantly lying to his closest friends. Annie had been able to convince him in the end—"We're monsters, Eren, before anything else. You shouldn't forget that."—yet the lying still troubled him.
I want to tell Armin and Mikasa, even if Annie is right. We can't tell anyone the truth about what we are. Would they even think we're human, or would they view us as Titans hiding behind enemy lines?
The doubt weighed on him, but Eren's promise to Annie to keep their secret held him from pulling his friends aside to tell them about his powers. He knew they were concerned, but with time they'd move on or confront Annie about their worries.
Plus he knew, deep down, that a day would come when he could come clean about his powers. There would be a day when Eren Jaeger would reveal to the world just what he was.
On that day, humanity's counterattack would begin in earnest.