This is a like, shout out to like, my reviewers, who I like, love!
Elfluver13- You are simply amazing! Like, Haldir is the hottest, and like we totally can agree on that. Like…
Phantom'sJediBandieGirl- You are like, awesome! Like awesomely fluorescent pink! Like, totally!
Protector of Canon2- Like ohmigosh… I like, love your reviews.
AliceandAce- Thank you thank you!
Emo Aniron- Thanks so much, like... totally!
Onward we go!
With Helms Deep behind them, the battle for the fair lands of the fair Rohan were fairly won, even the unfair lands of the fairly fair Rohan were now at peace. But now, the battle for Middle Earth was upon them, and they had to mass to protect this fair world.
Gwenel the fluorescent, magnificent pink sat filing her fluorescent pink nails. Eadocce the white on the other hand, was combing her long, long, long, long, long... dark hair.
Aragorn sat at the table with Eomer, Gandalf, Théoden, Legolas, and Gimli. They discussed how to next sneak across the plain without being seen by the great eye of Sauron, the two girls on the other hand sat looking bored waiting for the opportune moment to let everyone know that it was more important for them to be seen, than Frodo to be exposed.
The Ring Bearer how was he? Everyone but the Sues wondered this at one point or the other, but it seems like Gimli was the first to voice his concern.
"I wonder what the little hobbits are doing right now!" Gimli questioned
"They have helped with the defeat of Isenguard! They woke the Ents and together they have locked the wizard Saruman in his tower." Gandalf answered, sounding smug.
"Oh! Old Master Baggins! He did that!" Gimli coughed
"Oh! No, I mean Merry and Pippin." Gandalf said looking sad.
No one really knew how Frodo and Sam where, but the magnificent Sues.
Eadocce got a wicked smile on her face, and floated over to the table. Gwenel slammed her file into the arm of her chair, she the great Gwenel the Fluorescent couldn't float. Eadocce turned to the seated men, elf, dwarf and wizard and then looked distant.
"He has fallen in to shadow!" She said, much like she recalled Galadriel did in the movie. Gandalf stood up, and then she burst into fits of giggles.
"I jest Gandalf!" she managed to emit when she was finally in control of her emotions.
Gwenel decided it was time she stole the spot like from… the whitey white white. "You know Aragorn, it would be better if we had the eye affixed on us, so that he remains blind to Frodo."
Gimli looked up, eyes sparkling.
Legolas nodded, "Yes! A diversion."
"Aww, you are so smart Gwenel, why did I not think of that!" Aragorn slapped the table with his fingers and smiled at the Smart… Pink… Mary Sue.
Eadocce in a flash of anger turned to Aragorn, "But you did Gorny! You did! Only she saw it in the movie Return of the, like, King and like stole it!"
Aragorn turned to Gandalf and whispered while the girl screamed on and on about a movie.
"Gandalf! What is this moo-vee-yyy? What is this that she is always speaking of?"
Gandalf sat thoughtfully for a moment then shook his head, "Mayhap it is when you are moving in a V- shaped maneuver? Mayhap it's a war strategy… The Move V."
"Indeed," Aragorn nodded looking over at an even more confused Eomer who was jumping around in his seat to avoid the girl's spit as she screamed. In an attempt to appease the girl, Aragorn nodded fiercely at her and said, "Indeed Eadocce this Move V of which you speak gives us the ability to see ahead of us. Indeed I will have to use it."
Eadocce looked at him for a fleeting second the decided to ignore him altogether.
"Can we like ride to um, like Minas Osgiliath now?" Gwenel moaned, stamping her clad-in-pink feet.
Everyone turned to her and looked bewildered. Eadocce let out an exasperated sigh, "Like, Minas Tirith! Duh! Loser." She spat, and then left the room in a whirl of white and dark hair.
AT THE WHITE CITY
Pippin sat on the base of a white tree waiting patiently. Finally he could hear Gandalf's foot falls and stood up and put on a big smile.
"Peregrin Took! What are you doing here?" Gandalf questioned.
"Gwenel came to me in a dream and told me that I needed to come to the white city, or else she would tell everyone in the shire about how flatulent I am, and that will sure make ol' Mary Proudfoot think I am repulsive. So I came. I hear the food is good here, I am very hungry…"
DUNHARROW
The Rohirrim, Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas and Théoden King fair King of the fair land of Rohan, and the fairly unfair lands of Rohan as well sat by a fire, with Gwenel.
Off to the side of the group sat Merry Brandybuck feasting on a turkey drumstick with Eowyn at his side.
"So he said Eadocce told him in a dream to come here?" Gimli whispered.
"Yes, that is what he said."
"Aragorn, where's Pippin?" Legolas questioned
"He like, has gone to Minas Tirith." Answered Gwenel plainly.
"But why not travel with his cousin!" Gimli asked.
"Because that is not, like, his path." Gwenel said, prodding the fire with a stick. Eomer then lay his head down against the tree's base, that he had sat next to and contemplated this…Sue. Last time he had met her :shudder: she had only said one word. BLEEEP.
What did it mean? He asked himself. The question stabbed at him until he opened his mouth to ask the girl, then thought better of it. He smiled, and fell into slumber.
PATHS OF THE DEAD
Eadocce walked toward the gate in the mountain with her cloak about her, she was cold, and her pretty white dress was caked with mud. It was terrible.
When she had finally reached the gate, she was frightened but walked in anyway.
"I have to like, save the world, or Sauron will, like be the king." She said to herself and like, walked into the cave.
Upon reaching the pass, she patiently waited for someone to attend to her.
After a few minutes of silence she gave a loud whistle that echoed through the tavern.
"Like, hello! Customer at the front desk! Ohmigosh!" she breathed and all of a sudden the king of the men under the mountain appeared.
"Like, ohmigosh, you are like greener that in the movie!" She gasped.
"Move V?" came the answer, "Yes, we have used that maneuver several times, it works very well." The Leader said. His voice left a chill in the air that made Eadocce pull her cloak closer.
She waiting patiently for his next sentence but it never came, he just stared at her, and she at him. And soon it was a staring contest. And the stared, and stared, and stared….
Then she looked at him and said, "Like, do you suffer the living?"
Startled he shook his head and then like magic he began to recite his lines, "The Dead do not suffer the living to pass…" he whispered clearly.
"You will suffer me!" She screamed, more like shrieked, and her voice banging off the tavern walls.
"You needn't shout kid, I'm dead not deaf." He snarled.
She blinked at his statement, than nodded. "Are you the famed, Mary Sue?" he asked.
"Like, yea, but my name is Eadocce. Or so Aragorn calls me." The creature's eyes widened as he took out a pen and paper.
"I've read Fanfiction! You are my favorite character in the story, Fiddle Diddle Widdle Aragorn and Legolas Niddle! Can I have your autograph?"
She pondered this for a moment and then said, "I'll make you a deal you can't refuse. If you fight for me then I will give you all autographs and release your spirits."
She then gathered up to her full length and bellowed, "WHAT SAY YOU!"
"Again, please don't shout. We will. We will fight for you and get your autograph Mary Sue!"
She nodded and turned towards the fields of pelannor.
A/N: Seems fitting to Make the Sue a celebrity.