Eadocce stood, looking bored, outside of the tavern. 3 large black boats had reached the shore and she waited lazily for them to notice her presence. When they finally did she rose to her full height and called to them.

"You can not pass!" The men all sniggered.

"Well, now lady, why can't we pass?" yelled a fat one.

"Because, I said you can't. You will not invade Minas Tirith, and you will, like, do my bidding!" She yelled.

"You can't stop us! We will take the city, and send it to ruin!" the fat one shouted back, and then laughter erupted on the ships.

"Are you like, mocking me?" she called indignantly.

"You know what you can do lady? You can come up on this here ship and tell each of us what you will do for us when we take the white city." Another man called.

"Nay! I will like, stop you without setting a foot on your boat!" she yelled.

"Stop us? You and what army?"

"This one!" Suddenly they appeared in all their glory, rushing the ships and killing all before them, the army of the dead.

THE FIELDS OF PELANNOR

The armies had arrived, Gwenel among them, looking quite put out that Eadocce had left without her. The men surrounding her were very nervous, and all she could really think of was how to get attention from them. She rode her horse toward Legolas and put her head on his strong shoulder.

"Legolas…" she began as his angry face melted away, "If we do not, like, make it through the night, then, like, I want you to know one thing. Legolas, you are like, an amazing elf. And I um, have like fallen in love with you. But one day I will like, have to return to my home, and like we will be parted. But um… you were a good elf." Legolas smiled, looking down confused at the girl, and then turned his attention to Aragorn who rode down the line.

"Riders of Rohan!" called Eomer, "Oaths you have taken…" Gwenel rolled her eyes. Their coming to middle earth really changed a lot of things, it did. But would in this version of the story they be victorious too?

Then, Gwenel got and idea. She urged her mount forward and rode to Eomer, Théoden King, and Aragorn's side. They all stood looking at their men, who were frightened.

"Aragorn! I have like, an idea!" Gwenel announced. They all turned to her and smiled, looking at her as if for the first time in days.

"I will divert the like, gaze of the orcs and goblins, so that you may like, take half of your army behind them and like FLANK them!" she announced in glee.

"Hmm, how do you plan on doing that by yer self lass?" Gimli questioned, coming up with Legolas.

"Well, Gimli, I was like, thinking about a game of Hungry -Hungry Hippo!" She squealed. Everyone looked very confused.

Aragorn smiled and put his hand on her arm, "Nay my lady it is too dangerous."

She held her nose up and then said, "Well I'm going now, bye!"

"Not by yer cotton picking self you aint! Take me with ye lass!" Gimli jumped from behind Legolas to behind Gwenel and she sighed and rode forward.

"What are ye really planning Lady?" he asked.

"Just as I said! And now that you are here, I like have a better idea." Her eyes shone with an evil gleam that scared poor Gimli son of Gloin.

20 MINUTES LATER

Music erupted from the far left of the field. Loud music, like drums and harps playing. Everyone was startled as they turned left to see Gwenel had set up a very long table that had what looked like coconut halves on it.

Gwenel was dressed what looked like a long grass skirt with a crown of floors and a coconut halves bra. She has flower bracelets and necklaces on her and looked absolutely radiant with the sun glistening off her golden hair. Gimli, looked pitiful. He too, wore a long grass skirt, with a coconut bra, and was framed with flowers. He held his axe in his hands and was shouting obscenities at Gwenel who was adjusting his…bra.

Just then the Orcs all turned to Gwenel and Gimli and to everyone's shock started shuffling around to the beat of the drums!

When Gwenel and Gimli realized that attention was on them, Gwenel did a hop a looked down at Gimli.

"Blasted girl! What I do to save this earth! This is folly! A respectable Dwarf, wearing…oh, oh, this is not my place!" he yelled, then he started to swirl his hips like Gwenel had showed him.

Over on the other side of the field Legolas sat on his horse eyes wide telling everyone what was happening.

"He's wearing a bra!" Aragorn gasped.

"Aye Mellon and a skirt!" Legolas laughed.

"He will not live down this day!" Aragorn laughed, as Merry rode up on his pony.

"Hey! What's happening!" He shouted.

"Merry! What are you doing here?" Aragorn asked.

"Well I'm here now, is that Gimli over there?" Merry asked.

BACK WITH GIMLI

Gwenel started dancing and moving around in circles. Then when Gimli finally followed, his face as red as his hair she turned to the side and pointed at him and stared signing. He still clutched his axe as he danced and murmured curses.

If your hungry for a fat and juicy dwarf! Here eat Gimli 'cause he's the best of them all! Oh -Oh, He has a lot of meat and his feet are great to eat, Gimli -Gimli the dwarf!

Just then the orcs, starving charged after Gimli, who in turn roared with anger and raised his axe.

"No Gimli, No!" Gwenel called to him, then she turned to the orcs and screamed, "STOP!" and they did just that. Gimli brought a box over to her and she stood on it.

"I have a contest to suggest to you!" She yelled as the orcs inched closer. "Here I have coconuts on the table, if you can guess which one it is under, than you can have a piece of the Juicy Gimli!" The orcs seemed to agree so she moved over to the table, Gimli following close behind.

When they reached the table the first set of orcs came up and looked menacingly at Gimli, he whispered to Gwenel, "Hey, you rigged the game so that they can't guess right?"

Gwenel looked down at him, her golden hair falling down her bare shoulder and smiled, "I think I like, did. But have your axe like, ready in any case."

OVER WITH ARAGORN

"Move quickly, she has their attention this half move with me!" Aragorn said, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes. "Oh a fat and juicy Gimli!" he laughed again.

Merry rode with Aragorn, and Legolas and Eowyn who was disguised as a man. They all had dismounted and were quietly running across the plain to flank the orcs.

Merry who was being carried by Legolas so that he wouldn't be left behind, stared softly singing, "Da dun da dun, da dun da dun da dun da dun dun dun dun na na nah!" Aragorn turned to him with his eyes wide.

"What are you sining there Merry?"

"Oh, this is the thee-emme song to the Pink Panther. Gwenel taught it to me. She said it's from her world. It's catchy." Legolas smiled as they positioned themselves on the orcs flank.

Aragorn gave the signal for Théoden to ride forward, and after Théoden and his men rode forward, Aragorn and his men drove forth.

BACK WITH GIMLI

The Orcs had lost, one by one, and where getting frustrated, Gwenel had noticed that the onslaught had began and whistled for her horse to come near, as the orcs flipped the table over and charged at her and Gimli.

"What do ye have planned now lass?" Gimli said backing up.

"Like, Exit stage left! RUN!" Gwenel turned and made a straight run to her horse and hoisted Gimli behind her. Too late, an Orc arrow landed in her horse killing him. She fell with Gimli and he held his axe up cutting cleanly through the first Orc. She summoned her Power Rangers sword and like the pink ranger, started to flip and kill orcs about her.

It was at this time that Pippin looked over the wall to see orcs climbing them and entering the city in masses.

"Gandalf! Gandalf! The orcs are coming the orcs are coming!" He yelled. Gandalf rode down on a brown horse, because Eadocce had so dim wittedly killed his Shadowfax, and plucked him off the ground.

"That is the least of our worries now Peregrin Took! I have positioned guards at the walls and the are fighting, The Nazgul are here!" Gandalf said breathlessly.

BACK ON THE FIELD

Eadocce came over the hill with her army. She held up her bow and arrow and shot the first Orc that came in her way. Her eyes darkened as she turned to her men… err, I mean ghosts.

"Like, Guys! We like, have to save the day! And like, then we are going to all be happy!" She breathed, as some of the men in the background mumbled.

"How come she's so dumb, the Mary Sue in the book wasn't this stupid?" Asked one soldier to another.

"Like, on your mark! Like, get set. Like, GO!" she shrieked, her voice rolling and echoing through the plain.

"Hey kid, I thought I told you we were dead not deaf! There is no reason to shriek! And we are going, I think I stepped in some Orc crap though," He snapped and then they were off, and off they were to kill the orces, all the orces to kill.

A/N: Cliff hanger! Like a bad one though, but still… here's the disclaimer.

Disclaimer: This story if non- for profit. I don't own the Power Rangers, The Lion King song I butchered (Its supposed to be 'If you're hungry for a fat and juicy pig, then here eat Pumba…') and I certainly do not own any Tolkien or LOTR screen writers ideas. This is strictly for Fan fiction use and is not meant to be sold or copied out to for- profit organizations! Happy Reading!